most women will not tolerate this situation, even if the guy is wealthy! its just like a queen who refused to be saved in a drowning water when there are lots of capable able bodied men around her to help, because its a taboo for them to save her or the men are of lower status e.t.c she would rather she drowned.

maindar: My dear destiny, i ve so much to say dat I dnt knw where to start frm. I asked to question 6yrs ago but got no encouraging response, so I ventured for loves sake. Am 30plus now n ma wife is 28plus now. Our girl is 4plus n our boy is 2plus all age-wise. We are the Happiest couple on earth. Not to forget, we r nairalanders. MARRY DAT GIRL IF SHE SHARES YOUR FEELINGS
Here we are:

Awwwwww............what a cute family

@Destiny27, I totally don't think so. How could you quantify that? Obviously indecision could be a major problem for you here because the process of getting married involves two persons with the same mindset regardless of system, culture and social background and of course age. Infact, the basic element to observe within a marriage is "love" seen or unseen and it must not be isolated. Again, both of you must be convinced that you love each other and are ready to make sacrifices through love. While one of the problems of marriage is disagreement by parents. Fear and uncertainty are always serious problems too, as to what happens to one of the parties in future. So, you really have to make this firm decision by yourself so that you won't blame anybody.

She looks older tho. Av seen her physically so i should know

dayokanu: You know Lola Omotayo is like 5yrs older than P Square and she don get pikin

Does she look like his mom?

And come τ̲̅ȍ think of Į̸̸̨ƭ ,women who marry men far older than them are more likely τ̲̅ȍ cheat with guys their age because of the disconnect. But women who marry younger men ®ε̲αƪƪƔ have •̸№ reason τ̲̅ȍ cheat because they relieve their youth once again with their homeboy husbands.

@bukkiliicous; tnx a lot

bukkylicious:


Awwwwww............what a cute family

Tnxxx

Vallotti: As a female. . . I HAVE NEVER MET ANY MALE MY AGE MATE THAT IS AS A DEVELOPMENTAL/COGNITIVE EQUAL.
They tend to act 10 or 20 YEARS IN THE DEFICIENCY column emotionally and spirtually-speaking. To put it directly. . . THEY ACT LIKE IJJJIOTS!

As I get older. . . THE GAP WIDENS. . . .
Sooooooooooooooooo I would have to say NO!
It would not work for me. I NEED A 10 YEAR GAP!!!! So, I CAN HAVE SOME TIME AND PATIENCE WITH HIS AZZZZZZZZZZZE THAT REFUSES TO GROW UP!!!

I need a man. . . not a boy!

SHE WILL OUTGROW YOU IN ABOUT 5 YEARS. . . .AND LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER IF SHE AGES LIKE MOST NIGERIAN OR NAIRALAND WOMEN!!!!

Age does not usually correlate with maturity. . . BUT IN MY DEALINGS WITH NIGERIAN MAN. . . .

THE BIGGER THE SHOE SIZE. . . THE SMALLER THE BRAIN!

OP. . . goodluck!

this feminist again? Calloti i think or kanwulia? Smh for u o.
Muche che che queen

One thing i will advise you is, what you don't like let her know b4 she enter,don't hide your feeling for her if trully you lov her,always overluk her mistake.

Aggrippa: most women will not tolerate this situation, even if the guy is wealthy! its just like a queen who refused to be saved in a drowning water when there are lots of capable able bodied men around her to help, because its a taboo for them to save her or the men are of lower status e.t.c she would rather she drowned.

I know in Nigeria, where age may be a big thing, this may be problematic.

Hello OP, from what I can see...you are mostly bothered about her looks over the years....now start by asking urself; are you really into fitness/health? do you just want her to look good for you(while u go on nurturing a massive pot belly in few years! it's quite unfair) Try and find out from, her view of her physical looks in years from now...let's delve into hollywood a bit, check out mariah carey; she's way older than nick but she still looks great even till tommorrow! So as a fitness/health enthusiast, I would advise you both incorporate fitness workout into your lifestyle if you get married (not just her cos a couple that works out together, stays together!)
As for the "submissive" part, if truly u'r a mature and sensible guy, she should naturally love and respect you. Goodluck!

usermane: When it comes to this issue of LOVE, am kind of new, but atleast i can contribute for fellow 's benefit.

To fall for an age-mate, you must be the type of guy who apart from love and support, want nothing else from a partner. You don't expect a wife of your age to worship you or submit to you like a wife of ten years younger. Mutual respect for each other is the ideal requirement for both partners. Once you desire nothing more than love, commitment and appreciation from her and she is willing to deliver, you 'll be fine. Just endeavor to reciprocate too.

On the darker side, if you desire a malleable or submissive wife who will shut up and let you be the dictator like most traditional men, then stay away from her Mr. OP. It is clear you two are incompatible, as i believe only a lady who want a modern, tolerant and negotiating partner will marry her age-mate.

I thinks u are not too correct,wat I will say is that if u think this woman is wat u want as a wife,just go ahead and marry her,or do u want to get a lady that you are older than and she is just a pin in ur arse?no my dear follow ur heart and do wat u think is right,thanks my frd

Tell your mother to help you see real man of God for prayer and councelling.At least two to three pastors for prayer and compare them.

Destiny27: I decided to post this in family section because I know there are a lot of people with mature minds and experiences especially married folks.

I recently came across an old schoolmate in primary school whom I had a crush on then. I was such a good boy then so wasn't into all that. Few months ago, we started communicating. She is in another state working. Since then we have gotten so close.

She came down to the town I stay enroute her village and we spent a few days together. We realised we are in love with each other. When she left, I felt an emptiness and she too has been missing me.

I'm in my early 30's and ready for marriage. I will love to marry her but my only problem is that she is my age mate.

Please, is there any problem in getting married to your age mate?

Some people feel its not right because
1) She may not be loyal and submissive
2) By the time she drops two kids, she will look quite older than me

I haven't told her anything about marriage. Would want to clear some grounds first and then take some months to know her more before letting my intentions known fully well.

Please, what do you feel about this? I need mature advice on this. I'm at crossroads now and will appreciate your input.

Thanks

My advice 2 u ar take a note book write down the name of ur X-girl friends, then think on how long hv u spend with each of them, an think if 4 now, she respect u then all if she do married her, if she didn't 4get her, but don't let age stop u.

Destiny27:

Lol. I get. Thanks

.......this is nice# a perfect example

Please go ahead don't loose d mother of your children, grand mother of your grandchildren, great grandmother of ur great grand children ...because of what people will think or your mindset...ageing is in d genes not age some people tend to look younger than their age and other dont ....some just look perfect for their age...the thing is take care of your wife whether junior or mate if you don't that's when they will look old and ageing to u...its simple

What I'm still trying hard to understand is why you would want to marry a lady older than you when there are many virile, 'standing-breasted' young ladies yearning for marriage?! The argument that older ladies are more mature is a misinformed one; if they are so supposedly more mature than the young'uns, then why are they still single in their 30's?!

Avoid old women and their baggage abeg, go for the firm, 'standing-breased' young'uns.

fyneboi79: And come τ̲̅ȍ think of Į̸̸̨ƭ ,women who marry men far older than them are more likely τ̲̅ȍ cheat with guys their age because of the disconnect. But women who marry younger men ®ε̲αƪƪƔ have •̸№ reason τ̲̅ȍ cheat because they relieve their youth once again with their homeboy husbands.

says fynboy's theory

There are worse reasons not to get Married, or for a marriage not to work, Being age mates is not one.

If u love her and she loves u as well marry her.Firstly u ave to test her love for u is real not because she nEeds someone to marry her,if its real go ahead.we're der is love der is respect and wat so ever u want from her Ibelive she will give u.My husband and I went to same pry school and he is only 4months older dan me but ull hardly know we are age mates because love comands respect.it is wat u make of your woman ull see wen u talk of beauty.I enjoy my marraige and he does as well

Vallotti: As a female. . . I HAVE NEVER MET ANY MALE MY AGE MATE THAT IS AS A DEVELOPMENTAL/COGNITIVE EQUAL.
They tend to act 10 or 20 YEARS IN THE DEFICIENCY column emotionally and spirtually-speaking. To put it directly. . . THEY ACT LIKE IJJJIOTS!

As I get older. . . THE GAP WIDENS. . . .
Sooooooooooooooooo I would have to say NO!
It would not work for me. I NEED A 10 YEAR GAP!!!! So, I CAN HAVE SOME TIME AND PATIENCE WITH HIS AZZZZZZZZZZZE THAT REFUSES TO GROW UP!!!

I need a man. . . not a boy!

SHE WILL OUTGROW YOU IN ABOUT 5 YEARS. . . .AND LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER IF SHE AGES LIKE MOST NIGERIAN OR NAIRALAND WOMEN!!!!

Age does not usually correlate with maturity. . . BUT IN MY DEALINGS WITH NIGERIAN MAN. . . .

THE BIGGER THE SHOE SIZE. . . THE SMALLER THE BRAIN!

OP. . . goodluck!

OP,A woman with this kind of mindset is the one you need to avoid like a plague. Whether you are older or younger,you'll be on her worse list of man.

Dear friend i am married and i can say i am age mate with my wife because i am just a year old than her, my advice to u,
* not all woman look old after 2 or 4 children it all depend on how u two plan ur child bearing,and spacing. my wife a case study after 2 she is stil firmer,stronger and radiant . While more years spacing may be good for under 30 married woman, it may be dangerious and complicated for woman above 30. Moreover, losing blood at late 30 or 40s can makes woman grow older and wear out on time this is why it is important for lady to mary on time, if things worked out fine with her to avoid late pregnancy which sometimes result to complication and waste of blood that her body can not readily replenish unlike her under 30s age counterpart thus, if u love her which is most important factor couple with enough resource to substain ur marriage please go ahead and marry her becos delay can be dangerious. Furthermore, plan ur child bearing and ensure she has them (1,2 4 or ...) all before her 40. Inaddition, most woman after marriage fail to keep fit and watch what they eat or do. This also go a long way to determine whether or not woman will become older than her man. If u as a man has a way of keep ur self fit u can do well by engage and encourage her to do same (jogging, skipping, sit up other light exercises) can help. My dear dont fear or panic, do u ever wonder why young man admire some of our female celebrities like liz benson, mrs olu jacob and omotola to mention few. We all stil admire them even after 3, 4 or more children. Inconclution, being an age mate with ur wife can means more understand and any wife whether younger, older or same age as her husband must respect him if she want her children to excel in life because bible said wife respect ur husband. That is my take.

dayokanu: You know Lola Omotayo is like 5yrs older than P Square and she don get pikin

Does she look like his mom?

actually,she does..even though sef say na hd camera dem use,u can still see d diff.

Love conquers all!

If you kip giving a fuuuck whether or not she will look old like your mom when she gives birth then you dont love her genuinely sorry. Cos if u truly love someone, age and other changes that might arise later does not matter. Women bodies tends to react during and after child bearing and thereby causing changes. U claimed u love her and what if she have stretch marks after giving birth or so would you chase her? And u claimed u love her? My guy u don't really love her by asking that question and u are not even ready for any serious relationship yet talkless of marriage, lets be frank here; you just have lust for her good body now. Sorry if i sound harsh but am just speaking my mind oooo. Marriage no be child's play or boy thing. True love dont give a fuuuck, unless u dont love her. Age is nothing but mere numbers. A 20 year slim girl can blow up into very fat lady after child bearing, anything can happen. So think about that.

lomaxx: There's no issue settling down with your age-mate, other factors being constant.

Once you begin to go romantic on a lady, even if she's 10 years your junior, she don dey see you like age-mate.

If you love her, wife her.

well on point

ilibrarian: Don't make that mistake. My reasons;
- She is more experienced than you are in every area
- She will look like your mother after giving birth.

You must be a boy not a man. my wife and i are age mate but we are getting on and she respects me and she doesn't look like my mum at all and who 2d u age mates(female) are more experienced than d male folks.A good wife is a good wife no matter her age or the age differences. look for the qualities of a good wife though relative to individuals, if she has what you want go ahead and tie the knot. some younger ladies are not better home managers than older ones(age mate). I have seen lots of them. Don't discourage him with your paucity of knowledge on marital issues. Get your facts/findings right before you speak on issues. Especially ones you don't know much about.

Vallotti: As a female. . . I HAVE NEVER MET ANY MALE MY AGE MATE THAT IS AS A DEVELOPMENTAL/COGNITIVE EQUAL.
They tend to act 10 or 20 YEARS IN THE DEFICIENCY column emotionally and spirtually-speaking. To put it directly. . . THEY ACT LIKE IJJJIOTS!

As I get older. . . THE GAP WIDENS. . . .
Sooooooooooooooooo I would have to say NO!
It would not work for me. I NEED A 10 YEAR GAP!!!! So, I CAN HAVE SOME TIME AND PATIENCE WITH HIS AZZZZZZZZZZZE THAT REFUSES TO GROW UP!!!

I need a man. . . not a boy!

SHE WILL OUTGROW YOU IN ABOUT 5 YEARS. . . .AND LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER IF SHE AGES LIKE MOST NIGERIAN OR NAIRALAND WOMEN!!!!

Age does not usually correlate with maturity. . . BUT IN MY DEALINGS WITH NIGERIAN MAN. . . .

THE BIGGER THE SHOE SIZE. . . THE SMALLER THE BRAIN!

OP. . . goodluck!

you are sick!

Destiny27:


True. Thanks

, mature mind..vewy good

age! Is nothing in a relationship where love exist, am jus sm monfs older dan ma wife, go out there u see tenagers lyk mum, so nofin is wrong wen love exist

Mmm...lemme give my own widows mite of experince since everyone seems to be speaking from his/her wealth of experince
Marriage is like a syndrome and those of us in the medical field know that a syndrome is a collection of many symptoms.though the major symptom is love,its not a veto in its self.just consider the larger pic...age is a number as some claim yet its a stat that influences a lot.the body has been programmed to do certain things at certain ages...those things affect the person as well
Nature has made it that the wife would be younger than the hubby and it has its reasons.love isn't the only reason you marry for....you do so for companionship too.even when you're old & your kids are gone,your wife would still be there to cater to your needs.aww would she do that if she's older than you
Frater...though for me the ideal age range for a wife(except you marry at <22yrs) is 3-7yrs of age but NOBODY except you can make the decision

I read ur story and I was moved to join nairaland forum. Yes, it is very okay to marry ur age mate. Maturity and spirituality are two fundamental ingredients to marriage.
Guess what? I have been married to my age mate for 3years with two lovely kids. She is my best friend and my better half .

Wish u d best.