Ruby_Pearl:

Oh hell no!! No he didn't!!!

What attracted you to this kind of man? Desperation?

That is not my husband. I was giving an example of how an African American dude would handle my smart ass mouth.

sistawoman:

I know one thing for certain I have said i am sorry, in voicemail, text message and through Amos.  But he still has yet to call me.  It has been 48 hours with NO contact at all from him on his part to me.  

Enough is enough.  i will not be contacting him and I can not ganurtee that when he comes home he will have a happy home to come to.

Had he come home last night or called today he would have a happy home to come to but this must stop and is very very childish.

I had to catch the bus two days in a row.  It looks like it is going to rain today and he wont answer the phone to come get me.  My sons b-day is tomorrow and I was supposed to get the cake and get his gift but i don't have the truck and my neighbors car is in the shop.  So I will get a cake from the store around the corner and give my son an IOU for his Ninedo DS.

I can do this w/o him as I did it w/o in the past.  If this keeps on much longer I will have to inform my dad so that he can step in and get us a vechile to get around town.  I really don't want to do that because once I go to my dad for help he will never forgive my husband.

My dad feels that the man should take care of his wife and any children and told him that when he met him.  He told my husband that if i should ever come to him for help that he will no longer respect him or invite him in his home.

ur father has spoken well

u r too soft woman,i know u love him,but my advise is just ignore him for now and concentrate on ur kids

wat kind of a man will leave his wife to take care of his step sons birthday all by herself?

and richyblack is talking about love .plssss

sistawoman:

That is not my husband. I was giving an example of how an African American dude would handle my smart ass mouth.

Oh ok! *phew*!

That's kinda true though

Sistawoman, I know what you might be going through isnt easy but hang on and stay strong.
i really feel you pain

LOL. Whoooo!Never knew it would be this serious.

regards "foreign" women bothering with Naija men, I have news for you: Nigerian women, especially in America, climb mountains and swim the seven seas to get Naija men.

Who asked for this story? At the end of their foolish climboing excercises, these same women are left to cater for their kids by themselves while this "great African man" runs back to Naija women.

Keep defending the deceitful barbarians you call brothers.

KarmaMod:

Keep defending the deceitful barbarians you call brothers.

They all stick together dont they? They would never really tell me the truth about thier friend?

karmamod have said it all

@sistawoman,

Good to know you're following my advice. Only a G can tell you how to handle a G  .

Do not call, email or text him. Zero contact, if you can sustain it. Sorry about the bus situation, wasn't aware that you didn't have a ride. The guy is not behaving well. You've tried to make contact and he has ignored you - I hope you weren't using 'em nasty tone on the phone or SMS. Anyway, you've played the weaker cards, now it's time to play the stronger cards - zero contact until he contacts you!

To tell the truth though, there are some men who don't know how to treat their woman - in war or in peace. I hope he comes to his senses.

Observe that I've not abused your husband (like some people here), and I won't because you're still married to him and I have some respect for you. I really wonder how some people instead of giving their piece of advice would resort to abusing sistawoman's husband - arrogance that knows no bounds; truly pathetic!

Sisikill:


SECONDED!!!

Mr. RichyBlack obviously prefers his wife in servitude instead of in love.

Let them do their own to the front and leave the rest of us.

You're misunderstanding me. I'm in agreement with you that her husband's attitude on this issue is not okay.

Now what is wrong in respecting your spouse, being loyal to the marriage you're in, cooking for your husband, and being willing to please and be pleased?

RichyBlacK:

Now what is wrong in respecting your spouse, being loyal to the marriage you're in, cooking for your husband, and being willing to please and be pleased?

Who said anything is wrong with that?

Now you tell us what is wrong with a man ACTING LIKE A MAN and talking to his wife after an arguement? Instead of running off like a CHILD, taking away her only means of transportations for her and the children for over 72 hrs?

the ungrateful toad left for over 2 days now and you are asking questions about food.

RichyBlacK:

You're misunderstanding me. I'm in agreement with you that her husband's attitude on this issue is not okay.

Now what is wrong in respecting your spouse, being loyal to the marriage you're in, cooking for your husband, and being willing to please and be pleased?

Why absolutely nothing wrong IF the spouse (which often times is the man) understands the last part of your sentence. You know. . . the reciprocating part of the relationship.

Let's face it. . . giving as good as you get is not really your forte. I imagine Naija men as vacuum cleaners, inhaling everything and anything that comes your way - The love, respect, adoration, interest, concern, the putting you first, without thinking twice about it and what do you give in return - GARBAGE.

thing and anything that comes your way - The love, respect, adoration, interest, concern, the putting you first, without thinking twice about it and what do you give in return - GARBAGE.

Aint that the truth, jare

sistawoman, this ur marriage of convenience na real wa. Next time dont annoy a nigerian man this bad.

KarmaMod:

Who said anything is wrong with that?

Now you tell us what is wrong with a man ACTING LIKE A MAN and talking to his wife after an arguement? Instead of running off like a CHILD, taking away her only means of transportations for her and the children for over 72 hrs?

the ungrateful toad left for over 2 days now and you are asking questions about food.

LMAO! Help me ask him. I love how they manage to ignore the immature behavior of this so called man and try to twist things around, making it her fault. I mean. . . what is going on? Is there an invisible wall making it difficult for them to understand things? The worst thing ever done to mankind was giving men egos! If we are to look at the many issues we are facing today, I bet it can all be traced to one man's bruised ego.

If it isn't that there are people here to pull RichyBlack back to reality, I'm sure the next thing he's gonna ask sisterwoman to do is crawl to Dodondidi's apt, with hot amala on her head and beg for the honor of feeding him with her bare hands. . . while still on her knees.

KarmaMod:

Who said anything is wrong with that?

Now you tell us what is wrong with a man ACTING LIKE A MAN and talking to his wife after an arguement? Instead of running off like a CHILD, taking away her only means of transportations for her and the children for over 72 hrs?

the ungrateful toad left for over 2 days now and you are asking questions about food.

how can u be so polite toyin?dat man is worst dan a toad,a fool dat one woman is harbouring and allowing him spread his little willy willy on her ,yet hes still acting like a slut?if i did not know berra,i would think hes a female,cos such men are better off gays than normal

Isn't it clear that the woman is entirely at fault? What kind of perverse sense of sarcasm is that? The irony is that women never seem to possess this acute appreciation of sarcasm that they demand of us.

Try using such sarcasm on a woman and you have a full fledged emotional breakdown on your hands.

4 Play:

Isn't it clear that the woman is entirely at fault? What kind of perverse sense of sarcasm is that? The irony is that women never seem to possess this acute appreciation of sarcasm that they demand of us.

Try using such sarcasm on a woman and you have a full fledged emotional breakdown on your hands.

will u lots stop supporting dat suffocating zombie of a man?yes shes at fault,she has apologised,still d goat does not want to come back home

wat kinda of a man will quarell wt his wife and then leave d house wt her money and car?

mesmya:

will u lots stop supporting that suffocating zombie of a man?yes shes at fault,she has apologised,still d goat does not want to come back home

what kind of of a man will quarell wt his wife and then leave d house wt her money and car?

I don't understand why you have to keep insulting her husband! They are still married and it's uncouth to address her husband that way. Is it because she's been quiet? I can tell you that she does not appreciate you (and the rest) insulting her man. She wants pieces of advice, not insult on the love of her life. She's said she loves the man, yet you keep insulting the man. This is clear disrespect for sistawoman.

RichyBlacK:

I don't understand why you have to keep insulting her husband! They are still married and it's uncouth to address her husband that way. Is it because she's been quiet? I can tell you that she does not appreciate you (and the rest) insulting her man. She wants pieces of advice, not insult on the love of her life. She's said she loves the man, yet you keep insulting the man. This is clear disrespect for sistawoman.

she brought it upon herself,y d hell didnt she keep her marital affairs in the house?she was warned wasnt she?people have insulted me on worst cases  did i kill them

any man that will run away because of a little prob is a coward and foolish man

any man that will take his wife's purse and car and leave d house is a bigger fool dan d word itself

anyman that will ignore his wife for 48 hs after so many apologies is a bunch of retard

so richyblack will u sue me for d insults?

mesmya:

she brought it upon herself,y d hell didnt she keep her marital affairs in the house?she was warned wasnt she?people have insulted me on worst cases  did i kill them

any man that will run away because of a little prob is a coward and foolish man

any man that will take his wife's purse and car and leave d house is a bigger fool dan d word itself

anyman that will ignore his wife for 48 hs after so many apologies is a bunch of retard

so richyblack will u sue me for d insults?

Has the rolling out the insults made you feel much more better? So for her saying what is wrong with her family life on nairaland implies that insulting her man is the best way out of her problem?

@ Sistawoman,

Hang in there, I am sure he will come back to his senses. However you have your own fault, as you should have taken time to understand the man you are in love with in the first place.

As a lady, there should be times you ought to be soft and there are times you ought to stand your ground. I wish you all the best in this matter.

Pataki:

Has the rolling out the insults made you feel much more better? So for her saying what is wrong with her family life on nairaland implies that insulting her man is the best way out of her problem?

that is little compared to more that is to come

mesmya:



that is little compared to more that is to come

Keep it coming. Insults is the best means of passing across your message right?

Pataki:

Keep it coming. Insults is the best means of passing across your message right?

not when it is d right thing to do for a message to be passed across properly and for good actions to be taken

Oh so this marriage wasn't real? No wonder!!!!
I mean my husband this and my husband that all the time. Omo
Anyways i hope you guys work it out sha

mesmya:

not when it is d right thing to do for a message to be passed across properly and for good actions to be taken

And what good actions are you anticipating from her that insults makes the best method of passing it across?

Pataki:

And what good actions are you anticipating from her that insults makes the best method of passing it across?

it is left for her to figure dat out

mesmya na wa o. the way you are carrying this matter one would be forgiven if we assumed sistawoman was your blood sister.
take it easy, sistawoman still "loves" that man you called a zombie.

davidylan:

mesmya na wa o. the way you are carrying this matter one would be forgiven if we assumed sistawoman was your blood sister. 
take it easy, sistawoman still "loves" that man you called a zombie.

my brother i hate it wen sm men dey make women go thru so much pains,my heart dey bleed for her,but at d same time ,she lacks proper sense,she needs sense

Update:

Amos called to see if he made it home or called. Still no word from him. He said that he just spoke to him 3 hrs ago and told him to go home to settle this matter and let it be.

I asked Amos if i could borrow 20.00 to buy a cake for my sons birthday and Amos asked me why not ask my husband. I told him he was not picking my calls or returning my text messages. Amos said that he would be putting an end to this tonight and that i should be patient that my husband will be in our home tonight and the bank card, vechile and other things will be returned. I sure hope so I am down to my last and w/o my wallet I cant even go to the bank to get money from the teller.

I am not a stupid woman I know that asking Amos for some money will indeed piss my husband off and embarass him in front of his brother, that is why i did it. Fighting fire with fire is what i will be doing for now on with his ass.

Sista, call INS.

KarmaMod:

Sista, call INS.

I wont do that.

After i got off the pc I took a cab over to the apartment. I took dinner to him and breakfast and left it there with a note on heating instructions. What i found at the apartment were empty take out containers and a wine bottle. It looks like there has not been anyone but him there but you never know.

He showed up last night to drop off some money for me and my son, but it looks like he just put it inside the door on the table and left. I have no idea what time he came.

Enough is enough. I just need to cry this out and pull it together. I will not be treated like this. We dont have to live together or even talk to get thru the next 3 years. He will get his papers and then he can go and do as he pleases.