The thing is my children even get my sarcasm, they completly understand when i am being sarcastic and when I am being serious.

No the children are from my first marriage.

smone like me wont apologise oooo,seriously i wont,especially wen d person takes it too personal

i know men,just ignore them for one week and see if they wont come back

But that's her husband.
I suck at holding grudges against someone, much less my husband.
Abeg, either I forgive the person or just don't care anymore.

If he's yoruba, abeg, make una call him or else both of you will be playing Hide-N-Seek for a long time (not sexually)
Just try, if he doesn't pick, you tried.
But not talking to your husband, who's been obviously hurt because he was lied to (am sensing his anger has more to do than the sarcasm), is just. . . .just. . . .I have no word for it.
I can't believe living in the same house, angry at each other, ignoring each other etc. . . . you might as well move out of the house till both of you get your senses back.

Ignoring your husband who is obviously brewing is like giving him the [b]GO [/b]to go out and do sth you'll probably call cheating or unfaithful later on.

yes ruby that is her hubby but one thing u should know is that sm times  there r some kinds of quarells that r ineveitable

ive had sm certain misunderstanding wt my hubby ,and i don't waste time in saying "im sorry" when im wrong,and smtimes when sm things r taken to serious i don't apologise at all,all i do is sit down and watch him,and before i know wats happening his conscience will start pricking him like well,that is when i get my own apology

one of the things that strengthens a marriage is quarelling(not when its too much sha)because it makes them know each other the more

im saying it again ,if i was to be in sistawomans shoes,i wont apologise,he will most definitely come to me and ask for a smile on my face

and there is nothing like him going out to cheat or become unfaithful,when he wants sex he should be giving,they can still have sex as many times as possible,so ifn he wants to go and cheat,then let him,,any man that will cheat on his wife just because they had a little misunderstanding is a born bastard,not when shes satisfying him in bed

Don't get me wrong, am not saying "don't argue". . . . . without that, marriage is just plain boring

All I'm saying is, she doesn't have to apologize to him, but you both can't keep ignoring each other. You're both husband and wife, I don't see the point in acting like a spoiled brat.
24hrs ignoring? kai! Ok, we can play the games of ignoring wellu wellu o, but when I need sth done or he needs sth done (ex: food or get sth outside), he/I best stop playing the ignore game.

like i said they should continue in wat they were doing b4,ofcourse she cant starve him, if possible sef set d table and call him,to come and eat,but the only diff will be dat u will be calling him wtout any pet name ,apart from dat if i want sthg,as long as i work,i wont ask for nada, i can be so stubborn at times,infact my hubby once said dat anybody dats angry wt me is just wasting his/her time cos i dont care

mesmya:

and there is nothing like him going out to cheat or become unfaithful,when he wants sex he should be giving,they can still have sex as many times as possible,so ifn he wants to go and cheat,then let him,,any man that will cheat on his wife just because they had a little misunderstanding is a born bastard,not when shes satisfying him in bed

Ok. . . . but not all men are responsible and honest to their marriage.

"You were ignoring me, so I went out to get what I want"

"It's your fault. I can't wait for you to get around yourself and give me sex, when you wnt cook my food"

Nonsense.

or "I'm ignoring you oh, but I want your body". . . . .mehn, if you touch me sef, you go see sango.

Stop the ignoring nonsense. Both of you talk it out. But if he still wants to stay man/angry, let him stay mad and angry. Just don't play the game wiv him.

mesmya:

like i said they should continue in what they were doing before,ofcourse she can't starve him, if possible sef set d table and call him,to come and eat,but the only diff will be that u will be calling him wtout any pet name ,apart from that if i want sthg,as long as i work,i wont ask for nada, i can be so stubborn at times,infact my hubby once said that anybody that is angry wt me is just wasting his/her time because i don't care

No, am not talking abt finance.
Am talking about needing him for the kids, or to pick up sth for you.

My distant aunt got money, she's a pharmacist, but having her own money does not stop her from asking her husband to pick up some stuff she needs to cook dinner or somethings she needs urgently, on his way home.

Correct me, if I'm wrong, but isn't marriage also about communication?
What will happen to that when husband/wife are too busy ignoring each other.

Ruby_Pearl:

No, am not talking about finance.
Am talking about needing him for the kids, or to pick up sth for you.

My distant aunt got money, she's a pharmacist, but having her own money does not stop her from asking her husband to pick up some stuff she needs to cook dinner or somethings she needs urgently, on his way home.

Correct me, if I'm wrong, but isn't marriage also about communication?
What will happen to that when husband/wife are too busy ignoring each other.

you're not getting me ruby?smtimes like i said there is a big gap in communication more like a bridge in communication,even lovers do it not to talk of married couples

it happens and will never stop happening,u don't expect them to continue living in peace everyday do u?they will be problem smtimes and that is what brings d bridge in communication

try and understand me,im not a feminist,ofcourse u would have read it in one of my posts,but im talking about asking for nothing when we r not on speaking terms,on a normal situation ofcourse i ask for things,but weneve such a thing happens,my mouth is sealed

please smone like me wont apologise ooo,the man is indirectly making her choose between her kids and himself,my kids wont come between me and my hubby but at d smae time there must be a balanced relationship between us all

the man is being unncessarily inconsiderate

mesmya:

you're not getting me ruby?smtimes like i said there is a big gap in communication more like a bridge in communication,even lovers do it not to talk of married couples

it happens and will never stop happening,u don't expect them to continue living in peace everyday do u?they will be problem smtimes and that is what brings d bridge in communication

try and understand me,im not a feminist,ofcourse u would have read it in one of my posts,but im talking about asking for nothing when we r not on speaking terms,on a normal situation ofcourse i ask for things,but weneve such a thing happens,my mouth is sealed

please smone like me wont apologise ooo,the man is indirectly making her choose between her kids and himself,my kids wont come between me and my hubby but at d smae time there must be a balanced relationship between us all

the man is being unncessarily inconsiderate

No, I'm not getting you.
But trust me, I'm doing the best I can.

To make my point clearer, I'm not saying couples should not argue, I'm not saying marriage is always a white flag (where am I, fairy tale land?), and I am definitely not saying communications in marriage does not have it's ports.

But I am saying that ignoring your spouse just because he/she is angry is kind of. . . . ehrrrm, ^{still don't have a word for it}. . . . .I mean, don't you think you should try to break the silence somehow, even without apologising.

How long do you both think you can keep it up?
Until the other apologises, while he/she is waiting for you to go first?

to cut the long story short ruby,i  will not break any silence,if i do the man will do the same thing againa and again and again,he has to b d first to talk to her,shes a mother and watever she did for her kids is d right thing to do,so y wont he just understand her?yes she explained herself at first but he was taking it too personal and that was why she replied him like that

im not trying to cause trouble here but let this man be reasonable,if it were to be his own kids i mean his flesh and blood,wouldnt he have done same?puhpleaseeee

i cant beleive sistawoman and her husband will ever end up this way becuz i know about all their lovey dovey stuff

so sistawoman, does that mean u never ride ur husband in the last 24 hrs?

im sure tats a new record for both of u

mesmya:

to cut the long story short ruby,i will not break any silence,if i do the man will do the same thing againa and again and again,he has to b d first to talk to her,shes a mother and watever she did for her kids is d right thing to do,so y wont he just understand her?yes she explained herself at first but he was taking it too personal and that was why she replied him like that

im not trying to cause trouble here but let this man be reasonable,if it were to be his own kids i mean his flesh and blood,wouldnt he have done same?puhpleaseeee

Ok, I understand your stance in this situation, but I just don't agree with it. Which is really not important.

As for the bolded part, I've always believe that if a man cannot treat another's child as his own, what chance does he have with his flesh n blood?

@ poster

you are totally at fault here.why did you have to play hanky panky?
it might had been better if you told him beforehand you couldn't go on with the appointment rather than cancel it and then lie.
i dont really blame him.your lying and subsequent sarcasm has set up a chain reaction in your husbands head.
who knows?now that you lie,you may start cheating.
by your sarcasm,you disrespected him and showed you dont really recognise his authority (thats what most men will think).
you should have simply said the truth beforehand.see what your lying has caused.
what happened to the openness that you ladies love preaching?
i think you have a bit of explaining and begging to do.
and you better sort this out cos if it causes a bigger friction in your relationship,you wont like the outcome.

P.S: you better dont let him know you keep in touch with your ex.

stop creating a mountain out of a mole hill nubian.

his opinion is that kids should be raised in a certain way, why are you now trying to paint it as disregard for sistawoman's kids?

stop stirring up shit that isn't there - the man was mad she lied about canceling an appointment, and was a bit insulting in her attempt at sarcasm, and thus over reacted.

Ruby_Pearl:

Ok, I understand your stance in this situation, but I just don't agree with it. Which is really not important.

As for the bolded part, I've always believe that if a man cannot treat another's child as his own, what chance does he have with his flesh n blood?

see me ooo,i no talk say na d kids dey pain am oooo,but if it were to be his own flesh and blood,will he complian like dis?dis is a question im still asking

as for d bolded part,ever heard of wicked step mothers and fathers?they will try smone elses child like a piece of trash ,but pamper theors like d upcomiing president

libdd, go calm down jo. It's like you dont even understand what happened

KarmaMod:

libdd, go calm down jo. It's like you don't even understand what happened

mesmya:

see me ooo,i no talk say na d kids dey pain am oooo,but if it were to be his own flesh and blood,will he complian like this?this is a question im still asking

as for d bolded part,ever heard of wicked step mothers and fathers?they will try smone elses child like a piece of trash ,but pamper theors like d upcomiing president

You're still asking because you failed to understand my post. If you could just read it twice or maybe thrice, and if you still don't get my point, come back and check with me.

I've heard of wicked/step mother na. I'm sure most of us here watched Cinderella [/b]or [b]Ella Enchanted.
Like I said, I believe that any man (male/female) that cannot bare to show fairness/love to another child, does not have a chance with his flesh/blood.
What I believe is that, he/she's showing "love" to another by trying to hurt the other.
I mean, if a woman hates her man's child, what better way to hurt that child by giving her child what she cannot give the other.
And ofcourse, that's what I think.

my post, this post, is not regarding the poster's situation, abeg. Just clarifying somethings to someone

debosky:

stop creating a mountain out of a mole hill nubian.

his opinion is that kids should be raised in a certain way, why are you now trying to paint it as disregard for sistawoman's kids?

stop stirring up shit that isn't there - the man was mad she lied about canceling an appointment, and was a bit insulting in her attempt at sarcasm, and thus over reacted.

That's not what I'm saying o.

KarmaMod:

libdd, go calm down jo. It's like you don't even understand what happened

mesmya:

I understand what happened.I'm giving my opinion on how a man would interprete it.(at least most men)

Is the husband from Yoruba or from Anambara?

I'm confused here.

@ruby

i meant to say its a question im still asking myself,puhpleaseee smtimes both parties should stay away from eachother for a while even if its for 2 days

Lmao tpia, who knows anymore. Im still crossing my fingers in regards to that

lidbb2:

I understand what happened.I'm giving my opinion on how a man would interprete it.(at least most men)

Speak for yourself and let the others do the same.

mesmya:

@ruby

i meant to say its a question im still asking myself,puhpleaseee smtimes both parties should stay away from eachother for a while even if its for 2 days

stay away from my wife (i repeat my wife for 2 days) . . . no be me

chamotex:

stay away from my wife (i repeat my wife for 2 days) . . . no be me

oloshi d stay away im talking about anyways is not moving out of the house ooo,i mean like ignoring eachother for 2 days it wont hurt

I have tried to make the peace, maybe too late, I left him a very nasty voicemail this morning and sent him several nasty text messages.  But on the flip side of that he should know me by now and know that when i blow up i really blow up.

I just called again, for the last time, asked that he please call or come home after the children go to bed so that we can talk.

I held out the olive branch lets see if he takes it and comes home.  I will not tolerate too much of him staying away from home.  i am not sure where my breaking point is.   But I will just keep busy with work, caring for my babies and sleep.  As long as i dont find myself idle i will be fine and wont pick up the phone to call him.

I miss him and love him dearly and really cant believe this thing has gone on this long.  I am going to wait a few more days before i bring Amos in to mediate.

KarmaMod:

Lmao tpia, who knows anymore. I'm still crossing my fingers in regards to that

Speak for yourself and let the others do the same.

Ease up on the attitude.
My comments were directed to the poster.
Why are you getting worked up?

yeah right it won't hurt. . . . love can be PERMANENTLY damaged when people hold grudges for too long. They might kiss and make up aferwards, but if the same situation happens again, they might go for one week without talking, getting longer and longer.

Fights should be resolved promptly and not carried on in this manner.

the nasty voicemails and text messages will not help. It seems you are just as immature and childish as your husband. Why do some women do this Jekyll and Hyde thing anyways is it bipolar disorder or what?

If you want to be the right one, hold the moral ground all through, this good one minute nasty the next behaviour will not help either.

Sistawoman,
I still don't get it. Do you live together or separately?

sistawoman:

I have tried to make the peace, maybe too late, I left him a very nasty voicemail this morning and sent him several nasty text messages.  But on the flip side of that he should know me by now and know that when i blow up i really blow up.

I[b] just called again, for the last time, asked that he please call or come home after the children go to bed so that we can talk. [/b]

I held out the olive branch lets see if he takes it and comes home.  I will not tolerate too much of him staying away from home.  i am not sure where my breaking point is.   But I will just keep busy with work, caring for my babies and sleep.  As long as i don't find myself idle i will be fine and wont pick up the phone to call him.

I miss him and love him dearly and really can't believe this thing has gone on this long.  I am going to wait a few more days before i bring Amos in to mediate.

is it dat u both dont live together or wat?