Please help me, I'm new to this but only because my HEART is broken. It is a long story but I'll summarise it the best way I could. I am a young beautiful girl, been going out with my boyfriend for about a year plus. I was a virgin when I met him and lost my virginity to him not because of sweet talks but it happened and because I was in love with him. He started talking of marriage, introduced me to his parents and so on. I'm a student and lived in school but things were realy hard, after skul, looking for a place to stay and drop my things and so on. My parents are not in this country. He helped me get my things and infact i lived with him for 6months a semester not because of love like the others but circumstance.

After the semester was over we both decided what was best for us, for me to move out like a decent girl and wait for the proper time, you know marriage and so on. yeah we had our ups and downs like other relationships but we scaled through. As soon as i left he changed. Communication, others and what hurt me more was there was no reason behind these, I asked why and wanted to move on, but just complained about his life, financially, economically and so on. It happened for 3months this summer then he came back and stated communicating well and infact one day was stuck at the airport and called me to come there and he needed some money. As a student, my last card, rushed there and gve him everything just to see him happy while i had nothing on me.

Well after a while things came back to normal but he began to distance himself again n would apologise 4 not showin up n so on, n telling me he's hopin 4 better, he wants 2 get married n keep faith,  until just yesterday, in my school, a girl i used to know but wasnt close to saw me and asked me if i knew some person which ahppened to be my boyfriend. I said yea and asked her why, and she asked if i was and is still dating him, i said no to play along and hear from her. She started telling me how she met him and everything that had happened between them and us. How they met was while he came to drop me in school which was around may. How they had sex and so on and had misunderstanding so she went to his place broke his glass and stuff. I was shocked because i now knew the reason behind his change towards me. A small world but she figured i was the girl and he texted her that he doesn't want a relationship with her and she got mad.

i know she was angry that it didnt work out and thats why she came to tell me as a friend but i know if it was working out, i wouldnt hear from her. As for my boyfriend when I called and told him everything, he defended himself and told me nothing happened between them but it was because he didnt want her. That yes he met her as a friend but he saw no other person could compare to me and it's me he wants to marry, thats why he came back to work things out. and started saying how he doesnt have friends anymore that people betray him, He's frustrated.

Well i'm so hurt yeah but at the same time i love him and pity him whatever he's going through. he hasnt called me, told him i want my things out from his place, no reply. what do i do? Afriend advised me to stand by him if i love him and fight that girl off. Funny, love is crazy, he hurt me and doesnt care yet i feel for him what he's going through and want him to be happy. what do i do? PLEASE HELP ME.

do i konw you?

No you don't but i need answers.

Baby,

I dont know what to tell you to be honest and I think most are not sure what advice to give you.

How old are the two of you?

Where are your parents and why did they leave you homeless?

Well I'm 21, he's 35. We both are in the US. My parents are back home in Nigeria and they are doing their best and we all know that things are hard.  stayed in school and during the holidays staying with friends or relatives which most times they fail you. But Thank God I have my own place now.

@ iice, how? i justb tried to summarise it the best way i could.

Desiree1:

Please help me, I'm new to this but only because my HEART is broken.

So that's all we're good for eh!Mendin broken hearts.Anyways ur story has som truths as well half truths.If this guy isn't enthusiastic abt havin u bak,babe trust me u'll only b dissipatin ur energy on a lost cause.Howeva,if he is truly remorseful abt his escapades(it doesn't sound like he is)u can try again.Evrybody deserves a second chance.

My first serious relationship.

Desire,

Hit me up via yahoo later tonight. Not sure what time zone you are in but I am in the eastern time zone and should be on about 9pm EST.

I have some questions for you and somethings to say that are best not said on the board.

@ Cold  
u r right but i dont know what to do at this point.

@ sistawoman

dear what is ur yahoo?

For goodness sake,girlfriend grow up. Your story is similar to mine and from what I've learn you don't need him. We human beings are like that,we have this particular trait of ours,so when you identify one,girlfriend it never change. He will keep on playing with your heart. Trust me,just got out of one.

Fighting the other girl off won't change anything. You know you love him but what about his feelings for you.



advice:
Move on with life and forget all about him before you regret it.
don't be fooled by the marriage thing. He's trying to deceive you by promising to marry you, face your studies and learn to be independent. Other good men will come your way

don't listen to your heart

if that is really you on your profile then show me your boyfriend. I want to SLAP him to hellfire this minute.

@desiree1

hey is that the[i] real[/i] you on your profile (pic)


damn!

you look so gorgeous

@ k1banty

im not fighting the other girl off, infact she is my friend but what i meant was that because it didnt work out for her, she wants to pay him back and by doing so ill join her. This heart of mine is confused. and what do u guys understand by the fact he doesnt want to give me my things yet to move on.

really funny.
girlfriend, dont think the guy wants you anylonger^{remember ur losin the virginity thing to him??}
somethings aint worth the troble,the relationship's shakin,you got heartbroken, the stupid goat  doesnt feel any remorse, say way girlfriend?
move on with your life jare!

@ davidlyan

lol

Desiree1:

@ sistawoman

dear what is your yahoo?

it is on my profile.

Desiree1:



and what do u guys understand by the fact he doesnt want to give me my things yet to move on.

He wants to keep you tied to him and with him.

he won't want to let you go so he has to hold on to your things.

@ k1banty

Thanks but my heart is hurting

@ ramonacee

u r right but moving on without my things yet is hard even without them.

@ sistawoman

yeah i added u.

really funny.
girlfriend, dont think the guy wants you anylonger^{remember ur losin the virginity thing to him??}
somethings aint worth the troble,the relationship's shakin,you got heartbroken, the stupid goat  doesnt feel any remorse, say way girlfriend?
forget the arsehole n move on with your life jare!

it's better your heart hurts right now than later. You have to make a choice and that means to face your studies and take good care of yourself. Good men will come your way so don't get stuck to him, he lied about the other girl. what else do you want to hear?


sistawoman and topup will help with their advices.

Girlfriend if that is truly you in that picture. Then let him rot in where ever. You certainly dont need him. You've got all it takes to get a reliable man and not a sponge like him.

@ k1 banty

Thanks,

@ xhanty

u r right but sometimes beauty aint everything. some men would still hurt U

@desiree1


hey you made a mistake by leaving your email on your profile.


trust me, most guys on nairaland are single and searching so you will get loads and loads of emails and IMs

I dont have to answer if i dont want to. I put it out there to get the best help i could get.