-It wasnt like i went to leave with a man, i had problems and it was circumstance and he wasnt just any man, he was my man.

- Reason, we were having problems that i didnt know of and he needed time and saw how his friends were building families so he returned to wot=rk things out with me.

-no reasonable reason, he's frustrated, things would get better, have faith, God is able, time would put things right,

- I would say my affection is much more

- yeah he did but i guess that's in my nature, i know he is going through a lot but what hurts me is why he kept me by his side while all these were happening and yet still behaved unfair.

my advice to you as a friend is if you really love him as you said u just have to stand for him and fight tht grl out his way. or just give him time dont bother him he will surely come back for you and apologise i bet you ,  am also a guy i no wetin dey,  pls just relax your mind and dont call this heart break make your self busy with films and house work and u will c u wont feel it much,  take care

Thanks Domilic

domlic:

my advice to you as a friend is if you really love him as you said u just have to stand for him and fight that girl out his way. or just give him time don't bother him he will surely come back for you and apologise i bet you , am also a guy i no wetin dey, please just relax your mind and don't call this heart break make your self busy with films and house work and u will c u wont feel it much, take care

I wonder yo if your advice would be different if this was reversed.

I am so sick and tired of these men thinking it is o fucking k to cheat on a woman and she should fight for her man from the other woman.

Dam that if i cant have first place i dont want any other place.

take it cool ok,that's not the end of the world. All u need now is somebody that will keep ur company ok . you can reach me on my mobile line so that we can talk more ok +2347026047439.

My sister, don't worry yourself with that guy. Future no dey there, whether financially or romantically.

kayode2907:

take it cool ok,that's not the end of the world. All u need now is somebody that will keep your company ok . you can reach me on my mobile line so that we can talk more ok +2347026047439.

=))

shei wan take over lol

The guys is 35 and U are just 21.

At 21, U should be really keeping ur options open and testing the "waters" rather than lock up urself in one relationship , especially one thats sour. U are too young for that kinda shit. Ur beauty dont count here. If Halle Berry can get herself hurt , then so can U  

At 35, the man should have his shit together. However, it seems he is still behaving like a teenager that just discovered Playboy magazine.

OMG

Omo do yourself a favour and run like the wind. Dont even waste your time fighting with anyone. Older guys are meant to be stable and should know what they want. If he cant be your rock kick him to the curb. Dont waste your life with him.

Im not even saying find yourself someone else. What Im saying is look after you.
You are attractive you know it and so do we, they will be banging on your door.

But you need time out to yourself. Its so easy for me to sit behind this screen and yarn dust about dumping him I know its very painful but have courage and love yourself you will be ok!

I don't think he's playing like a teenager at all - he knows exactly what he is doing, and he is manipulating you.

He knows you gave him your virginity, he knows your family is not here, he knows you are just 21, fresh out of school with a million and one worries

Its only natural to want to return to the only thing you've ever known (and I mean the relationship not the 'thing' ) but I think it would be unwise to do so. Why should he decide he won't return your things? That is bordering on being a thief - if he refuses to return them, I suggest you call the police on him, love or no love. The moment he realises you aren't the docile helpless girl anymore, he'll stop this nonsense.

Don't despair too much, you're just 21, and there's a heck of a lot to learn about men and relationships - next time take it VERY SLOW - in a one year relationship you realised you 'loved' this man, gave him your virginity, moved in with him, and broke up with him!

Even for a relationship veteran, that would be moving way too fast. My advice would be get someone closer to your age who would be less prone to manipulate you. Yes I know younger guys are 'immature' but at least, you don't feel in awe of them (as I think you are of this guy). Take your time, learn from your experiences.

In fact, if I was not already taken, I might have taken on the noble task of mending your heart

Smile girl, the best is yet to come!

hey girl,

The player left you for your friend - that shows lack of respect for you
The player is holding on to you stuff forcing you to be with him - that is slavery.
Friendship is voluntary.

I think you should ask him for your stuff. He might think that holding on your stuff will make you think he you now mean all things to him. Do not fall for that. Face your studies.

On the other hand if you think you forced him to do what he did  by what ever means(still not acceptable) then go ahead and stay with him but it is a high risk investment.

I would advice you to move on. You seem to be a girl with soft heart, you need to appreciate who you are and know your life will still be without him.

I know you might be thinking he helped you by accomodating you. [s]Good work but you gave him action as often as he wanted it. [/s]

Please leave that guy and move on. He is not done yet with palying.

at 21 you really shldnt be crying over a 35 yr old. The guy is an experienced player . . . sorry. He knows just enough christianese to keep you eating from his hands . . . besides every guy knows the number one manipulative trick in the book - disvirgin a girl and you can move her around like a chess piece.

davidylan:

at 21 you really shldnt be crying over a 35 yr old. The guy is an experienced player . . . sorry. He knows just enough christianese to keep you eating from his hands . . . besides every guy knows the number one manipulative trick in the book - disvirgin a girl and you can move her around like a chess piece.

That is some old wives house tale if I ever heard one

Ucheanna how would you know?

Who broke your hymen ?

I dont know any girl who forgets her first!

no mind Uche.

LadyT:

I don't know any girl who forgets her first!

Unless baby girl was drunk as hell.

onyinye2:

Unless baby girl was drunk as hell.

drunk or not i hope you remember his name at least. . . . LOL

Off topic:

I am so bored at work please someone help me before i slit my wrists with a piece of paper or letter opener. 10 more mins and 45, 44,43,42,41 secs to go.

sistawoman:

drunk or not i hope [b]you [/b]remember his name at least. . . . LOL

I hope the "you" was pertaining toward muah. Shoot i don't get drunk. Not in the times we live in. . .

onyinye2:

I hope the "you" was pertaining toward muah. Shoot i don't get drunk. Not in the times we live in. . .

not you you, the proverbial you

sistawoman:

drunk or not i hope you remember his name at least. . . . LOL

Off topic:

I am so bored at work please someone help me before i slit my wrists with a piece of paper or letter opener.  10 more mins and 45, 44,43,42,41 secs to go.

Of course U would always remenber his name, just like U are expected to remenber the name of every guy U do the doodle with unless if U are  

I am just saying that it is not neccessarily true that the guy who disvirgins a lady gets to have her eating from his palms. Unless if it is the best piece of ass U have ever had. I know some ladies that cant stand their first. Then of course, they might be lying  

@ Sistawoman

Change jobs

Uche2nna:

I am just saying that it is not neccessarily true that the guy who disvirgins a lady gets to have her eating from his palms. Unless if it is the best piece of ass You have ever had. I know some ladies that can't stand their first. Then of course, they might be lying

When i made the comment earlier i didnt say it was true for 100% of women. However it is largely true.

Uche2nna:

Of course You would always remenber his name, just like You are expected to remenber the name of every guy You do the doodle with unless if You are  

I am just saying that it is not neccessarily true that the guy who disvirgins a lady gets to have her eating from his palms. Unless if it is the best piece of ass You have ever had. [i]I know [/i]some ladies that can't stand their first. Then of course, they might be lying  

Hmmm. . . . never thought of it this way.

davidylan:

When i made the comment earlier i didnt say it was true for 100% of women. However it is largely true.

No it aint.

onyinye2:

No it aint.

puhlease, what does onyinye2 know? Do it first then come back and make claims.

davidylan:

puhlease, what does onyinye2 know? Do it first then come back and make claims.

Dang David, always gotta be calling a sistah out? Jeez. . .

@poster, I'm gon' be mad honest with you, I don't see this working even if you stick with him because he is trying to get all he can and is not in it for you. About him saying how his friends betray him, I think that is a shitload of BS. He's hella trying to play with your emotions and is questioning your friendship so you feel pity for him and all he's "going through" while he's over there hitting some other girl up. You need to straighten up and fly right and focus on more important things that will make you happy.

@ poster
just go pick ur things from his place and move on with ur life.
the guy has had his fill of ur fresh juice so he has moved on.
feeling pity for him will only draw u back into his arms and of course
he would take advantage of u.
that guy sef na wa,
how him go throway this kind sweet pawpaw,
chei! !
okro no dey grow for person wey want cook soup

onyinye2:

Dang David, always gotta be calling a sistah out? Jeez. . .

sorry, love.

bennygee:

@ poster
just go pick your things from his place and move on with your life.
the guy has had his fill of your fresh juice so he has moved on.
feeling pity for him will only draw u back into his arms and of course
he would take advantage of u.
that guy sef na wa,
how him go throway this kind sweet pawpaw,
chei! !
okro no dey grow for person wey want cook soup

Can someone please translate?

Desiree,

From reading your story, it will be easy for people to say 'LEAVE him. Truth is, it is not. Ive been there before and I can tell you,the man wasted my time and nearly destroyed my career. You need a GOOD frined that is THERE with you and really tell you and help you to move away from that man. He is no good and he will never change. As for your friends telling you to fight for him?? That is bad advise. DITCH them too while you are at it. You dont fight for such non-sense. He will do it AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!! Maybe with your sister/cousin/auntie/granny, if he gets the chance.

Thanks y'all yeah it's hard but y'all have put me at ease n made it much easier 4 me 2 pull thru, this thing called LOVE infact i'm speechless

Desiree1:

Thanks y'all yeah it's hard but y'all have put me at ease n made it much easier 4 me 2 pull through, this thing called LOVE infact i'm speechless

move on and move on

@ Lady T

it's true a girl hardly ever forgets the first especially when it was a mutual or through empty promises