pelvicky: and ur mum will allow u

No be watin I ask for.

When i check the pot and my dinner is not ready, i will cry down the whole house....i like food sha

my own funny pass..
I used to uproot meat from the pot too.
but when my monkey go market and no return was when I took one meat wey big pass my throat,then I heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. 2 options (1) return the meat (2)swallow it.
yours truly opted for option 2. na so choking start as the meat no gree go down and e no gree make I vomit am.
my mumc was already in the kitchen and was worried what was wrong with me. .I was just choking and pointing to my throat and she understood what had happebed. i was dying that day as I couldnt breathe anymore. mumc was confused bout what to do.
to cut long story short. the stupid meat just popped out itself on the floor in front of mumc leg. see serious beatin that day.
and that is how I stopped stealing meat till this day.. #truestory

Sijo01:

No be watin I ask for.

ar u d only child in d family

kbshow100: My number one priority of going to the kitchen as a child is To Steal meat in the pot, my senior brothers won't allow me to eat the meat our mama put in the big tray of food, the only option then is to Sneak to the kitchen. I enjoy that memory a lot

God bless you. I used to do the same thing. Hahaha! I was a bad kid back then.

justi4jesu:

lol...u be big thief...hahaha

Lol. One of the reasons i feared Egusi soup those days. After its heated and settles, it always forms this thin layer of leather like film over the soup. And when you temper with the soup and that thin top layer cracks, my own don finish cos person must know say i hack the soup.

So whenever i'm at home and i know that my mum or cousin will be coming home late enough to allow me operate, all i just do is take the meat add small water to the soup and heat it again. It settles and forms another layer without leaving any hole..

Stew is the easiest.. Just take the meat, add small water, then use the spoon to repair the hole back to normal.. shikena..

Fish na small thing esp when there's Tail. All i just do is carefully cut it into two equal halves and eat my share.. Put back the other half and make sure the missing half part is lying on its now exposed belly.. . That gives the impression that the fish is still full OR that the missing half is still somewhere inside the food.. For where!!!! E dey my belle.. Hehe!!

hmmmm. one of them is this...
since am in charge of washing n steaming d meat, I cut out smaller chunks n stand in the watch my investment....
had to improvise after my younger bro n I were caught by mum. after denying, she brought a white China plate n made us to rinse our mouth with water n pour into it. my younger bro did first n d evidences were so incriminating. I made up my mind to rinse n swallow... no evidence. d beating for us that day was in another dimension.

Kslib:
Lol. One of the reasons i feared Egusi soup those days. After its heated and settles, it always forms this thin layer of leather like film over the soup. And when you temper with the soup and that thin top layer cracks, my own don finish cos person must know say i hack the soup.

So whenever i'm at home and i know that my mum or cousin will be coming home late enough to allow me operate, all i just do is take the meat add small water to the soup and heat it again. It settles and forms another layer without leaving any hole..

Stew is the easiest.. Just take the meat, add small water, then use the spoon to repair the hole back to normal.. shikena..

Fish na small thing esp when there's Tail. All i just do is carefully cut it into two equal halves and eat my share.. Put back the other half and make sure the missing half part is lying on its now exposed belly.. . That gives the impression that the fish is still full OR that the missing half is still somewhere inside the food.. For where!!!! E dey my belle.. Hehe!!

Okay oh i can see you know all the tactics in tackling all the soup but hope say when ur Son start him own you wont start forming Smart ass Daddy come start to dey beat am....just know say u do your own and him own time go reach too

Mum had warned me to stop licking clay(NZU in igbo),i was addicted to de damn thing.on a very unlucky day,i was licking it in de kitchen when she cam home frm work.i immediately hid it under de mortar.
She cam into de kitchen to cook and turned de mortar for sum pounding only to see my nzu collection(10 pieces).
The beating i received dat day.chai

As for me, stealing maggi to lick was my style


but now, the memory is nauseating

Enahi: Now this is funny.

Thanking u

My stuborn uncle has the habit of first visiting the kitchen whenever he comes from work .... If there is food , he will hail the whole household and go to the bathroom to piss .......


If there is no food , he will cause trouble and force me to cook!
That is his routine everyday !


One day , my elder uncle brought in his GF who sleep over while stuborn uncle pass-over too in another folk's house .....


My elder uncle's GF forgot to turn-off sink's tap while fixing herself what to eat and left !

The whole kitchen was flooded and the water became electrified as a result of contacts with some wires for Freezer !

Ogbeni uncle came back in the evening , took off his shoes as usual and started bouncing to the kitchen to checkout food , Immediately he stepped in the kitchen , Grrrrrhhh , grhhhhh, ye-ye , e gba mi ooo, e gba mi oo (help me o , help me o)

ahahahaha

He wanted to kill me that day , as he grabbed me , I just started shouting egbon no be me , egbon I swear no be me , na Boda's GF ooo , I swear No be me egbon abeg now ..... !

the girl enter ihm trouble !

I always knew when its time to put maggi inside food.I stretch out my hand for my own share.
I also know when fish or meat in frying pan is almost done. Immediately I start hovering, mum knows.

As am commenting right away,am dieying in laughter,once I head to d kitchen 2 tins are involved,is either I steal meat or I lick maggi,der is no day our soup dnt get soar all bc of me,do u kw dat I ws too smart bc for once I was nt caught,hehehehehhehe

Never went to the kitchen as a kid

enter kitchen, look left, look right, go outside to chek if someone is coming, go back in, open pot silently, take d smallest meat, use d cover of d pot to stop d stew from dropping on d floor...chew meat with my eyes wide open, alongside with my earing sensitivity very sharp, so to detect emerging footsteps....chew and swallow under 5seconds, make some plate noise in d kitchen, goes out, stays at the passage to clean my mouth, put on d serios face, enters parlour, sits with my junior brothers......force d remote from dem *changes television channel, while crossed leg

I can relate to most of the posts. the one that has not been mentioned so far is scrapping ice flakes from the freezer to eat. I was so addicted to that sh*t until past teen age.

robinicule: enter kitchen, look left, look right, go outside to chek if someone is coming, go back in, open pot silently, take d smallest meat, use d cover of d pot to stop d stew from dropping on d floor...chew meat with my eyes wide open, alongside with my earing sensitivity very sharp, so to detect emerging footsteps....chew and swallow under 5seconds, make some plate noise in d kitchen, goes out, stays at the passage to clean my mouth, put on d serios face, enters parlour, sits with my junior brothers......force d remote from dem *changes television channel, while crossed leg

dang you are an expert.

donroxy: I was too inquisitive as a kid (around 4/5yo) only God saved me :

One day my Mama was boiling water with ''Boiling Ring aka Heater'' in the kitchen and I have always wondered what makes Heater Boil water ?

I rose up from my camp-Bed (my special bed) , walked into the kitchen and dipped my index finger inside the bowl of boiling ring ...... Grrrrrrrhhhhh , I met myself on my bed again, how I got there still amaze me till date

. I wan laugh but got hold up by the possibility of what u might have turned out to be now if not for his GRACE........ BROS THIS IS TESTIMONY.......BUT I GO STILL LAUGH SHA HIOHIOHIOHIOHIO.... SOWWIIEEEEE

All of una for here de learn. I thief meat sotay, mumsi start to de count the pieces of meat for d soup. Trust me, I develop new tactics. When everyone was asleep or out of the house, I go serve like five pieces of meat put for plate, take knife cut from all of them before I go put them back. Summary: I chop 5 pieces and return 5 pieces. If e possible for d woman to snap d meat make she for know their exact shape that time ehn, she for do am
Pesin Don grow now sha

I wasn't allowed to go into the kitchen till I was 8. And then it was like all the lessons were packed into one syllabus. Bottom line, I wasn't allowed to step out whenever my ma was in there. well, so I got to get special servings.




YeaYeaNot

Aromas: Omo mummy, hawa u?

hehehe, ayam fine

Dipped a spoon into a bucket of boiling water, after wondering what it would be like for a long time and i eventually got a wicked Grrrrrhhhhh! Reaction. Those days sha!

Constantly opening the freezer just to breath the cold air

I thief things tire for kitchen....even at this old age, just dt I dey do am wit maturity n sense. That time, mama fit kip like 10 pieces of fish for iron basket, I go dey chop am til e remain like 6....tinking she nogo code. Na. Wao! What a mumu brain

Adorayble: Never went to the kitchen as a kid

Me too...
..

Mine was singing...i can sing the entire church songs available whenever food is getting ready...our neighbours can rightly predict when we want to eat

tsolz84: My sisters used to call me "Ali baba and d forty thieves" cox i be robin hood wen i small..meat just dey miss for pot..and b4 i forget;i dnt return change

Lolz, ur my second, even till now i dnt return change oo, if my mum/dad remember days later, I will jz cook up story. What dey do now is give me the exact money so dere wont be any change, lolz

salvatore007: I as a kid never did any childish tin in d kitchen cause i was 2smart 4things like dat.. I was always in my room in lekki back den busy studyin one novel called Encyclopedia brutanica. D only childish tin i did was 2teach my mum how to save our gas from finishing quickly by reducing combustion nd increasing ventilation there by increasing d combustion as oxygen is in abundance. It worked like magic dats d dumbest thing av eva don sha. Hapi Sunday

*in 2face's voice* Daddy, you can lie oooh!

pelvicky: ar u d only child in d family

Not at all. It was a matter of who asked first between me and my younger siblings............sometime, we share the fingers to aviod fight

Kitchen we never had kitchen na for corridor we dey cook. I only help my mama to keep an eye on the pot so that neighbours no go thief am or carry our food...

I ran away from the kitchen, mum wanted to make me work.