diz thread just refuse to die.. Na cockroach im b

Mutaino7:
diz thread just refuse to die..[b] Na cockroach [/b]im b

I hate those bloody insects!

Ok after the ceremony and we all got back together and my brother brought up the issue of his marriage this year, my mum talked about her experience with my brother's fiancee and I also said mine. My brother asked us to understand that at least she's not pretending as many girls does that we all are human and bound to make mistake which I understood cos of the love we have for our brother. Meanwhile, my mum is no more comfortable with her(she adores her earlier and she always prays that my brother marries a girl that will accept her like mother and she her daughter). Fast forward to when my fiance's people told us to hold on, all of a soon my brother started indirectly pressuring me pinging me every week to ask me update about our plans that he wants to get married before the year runs out. I was down so I couldn't even say much but my elder sister insisted that my brother been a man should exercise patience till after mine; my brother gave all sorts of reasons that his rent will expire and the girls too, that his fiancee wouldn't have chance nxt year cos their company will be busy. My elder sister keep asking why the girl should be in a hurry to get married(I love my brother and was even weak cos of my situation) my brother insisted on travelling all the way from where he stay to see my dad upon we insisted that he should talk whatever he wants on the phone with my dad. We all agreed that the girl and her mum was pushing him been that they stay in the same state. It wanted to bring issue between my brother and us cos he didn't want to listen to our plea to wait(though I haven't even said my mind cos I don't want the girl to go through what I went through). My parents on the other hand ws already having a soft spot on only son ish. Even my brother was becoming sentimental and was like what s wrong in our son only wanting to get married. But I told him to stop that only son crap I had to speak for the first time. Luckly for us all, my fiance's family gave a go ahead and my brotherly quickly fixed his date two weeks after mine. Notwithstanding, my brother was having understanding issue with my sisters cos of me; it was me that called them and made them understand that he will wait for me. My brother's fiancee's father is late and she gisted my brother on how her uncle and aunties are diabolical and killed her father cos they didn't want her father to marry her mother. We were even like diabolical people can even make issues to crop up probably that's why the girl is having issues with us. So, one week to the girl's introduction, the mum called my parents that she went to a night vigil and the pastor told her to go and do family liberation that her husbands people prepared for her diabolically. She became scared to go to the village(she has been living in fears since her husband died and doesn't even visit the husband's village for a long time) so, we started putting them in prayers even my brother started running around) everyone was panicked already. After their prayers, though they haven't even gone for the family liberation; the mother informed her husband's people about introduction and they told her that the girl will not marry outside their state. Meanwhile, I called my brother's fiancee and sympathised with her on the diabolical ish and told her to be steadfast in prayers before the recent happening. Even my dad called her uncle and he pretended they will pray about it. My brother and I are very close, he pinged me and told me how heartbroken he is; that the fiancee told him that the pressure is too much that if she can't bear it, she will have to quit. I called the girl immediately and pretended I didn't hear anything and asked her what's happening, and she told me. Meanwhile, this were the relations that didn't no how they are surviving cos her mum is trained her and is still training her siblings. She said that they threaten to disownn her if she goes against their wish. I was like that it wouldn't make any difference since they weren't in their good record before (I was trying to side her oh but it didn't know I was on my own) she told me in an unfriendly voice that they are her family that that doesn't mean she will disrespect them( meanwhile she wants my brother to disrespect her own family when they told them to wait) and that she cannot bare for then to humiliate her mother and she( I was like in my mind does this girl knows the meaning of humilation) I asked her if she's hearing me and she said yes and I told her to do what she wished and want and and dropped the phone. This was I girl that was pushing my brother all of a sudden the spark has vamose. I just pity my brother cos I don't think she loves him before. Just in a space of 2weeks. I know the girl can't do anything but at least try first. My parents called her mother and told her to take her people and visit the husband people and ask them their reason why they don't want their daughter to marry outside their state whether is tradition or their own making. Bu, they didn't even tried. My brother was even considering doing the traditional marriage in where they reside that if every option is exhausted but they didn't even want to try any. They have even sown their traditional wedding attire and my brother has told his friends and thr picture is on social network with engaged sign. He's problem is that he's always in a hurry in making decision. He's own is she took me to spa and chinese resturant on my birthday. I keep telling him that's not a sign that someone loves you it could be a sign of desperation. Ones bitten twice shine at least his eyes are cleared now. Abeg I don tir e to type. This one of my longest post ni

Nwababy, is your Brother's fiance from a different tribe? Maybe some of the proceedings at the ceremony were unusual. Also you mention the age gap of 6years, I hope you didn't come across as bossy . Maybe she was feeling shy or somewhat uncomfortable, just my opinion.

Both sides have issues.

Why Is your family insisting your brother wait for you to wed first?
Maybe if you guys let him do what he wanted to do when he wanted to, you wouldn't have issues.
And pls y'all should lay of pressure on that girl. All that telling her where to sit bla bla bla come off as controlling and will only serve to create friction.

As for the girl?if her relatives who didn't even stand by them in their trying times can decide dor her now whom to marry,I'd say your brother should let her go. It will be her loss losing a man that loves her because of the demands of people that don't care about her.

@Cococandy we were not giving her any laid down rule. My mum's urged her only son's fiancee to sit beside her to introduce her to our relations and also get to know her as mother and daughter and you're saying is been controlling? Odikwa mma for your side sha. Meanwhile, we are all igbos but different states.By been bossy you mean am now in her position and she's in mine? I don't understand what you meant abi you know read wetin I type ni. I said she wanted to enter the car meant for bridal train and I noticed it wouldn't accomodate and I didn't want her to be stranded. Shebi she tried entering and saw it can't enter her till my brother came and took her to the car that she entererd. Or am suppose to laugh with her sheepishly when she told me in an insultive whether am not suppose to pick. 2ndly, you said maybe, if we had allowed him the first time, it wouldn't be this way haa. Nne, his getting married is not this year he wants and december but he was told to exercise little patience already since is still this year. Nobody told him not to married. Can't a family have an agreement as my fiance's family all agreed that we should wait. Did I leave him already?

.

Thank you cococandy. Nwababy what if she declined your mum's offer because she didn't know what to talk about? Thus her rushing off to be with her mates.I wasn't there when she spoke to you so I won't say anything about that. From what you wrote here that girl has not done so much to be written off.Blood sisters do worse.About your brother rushing his marriage, have you asked him if the lady in question is pregnant?

nwababy I am sorry to say, but your story doesnt sit well with me.

I dont know if this is cultural or personal, but IMHO you are not treating that girl as a kid sister. There is a 6 year gap between you. You should be a big sis to her.

You are marrying into another family too, so I would have thought that you know how it feels to be in a strange environment and feeling out of your depth meeting all these new and strange people.

You should have been with her throughout the day and taken her under your wing and made sure that she was OK. She was your guest at the end of the day. She knew your sister and felt comfortable with your sister but you didnt want her spending time with her. This was a wedding not a formal interveiw. She even tried; gettiing up and trying to belong. I would have sat in a corner jeje.

You also dont seem to trust your brothers judgement. At 28 he knows what he wants. You may never understand what he saw in this girl, but he knows what he saw in her and she makes him happy and so rather than run down his choice over little "insults" that you have taken personaly, you should be happy that he has found someone who makes him happy

Dont get me wrong, there are some bad girls out there, and one needs to keep them out of ones family, but from what you have discribed, this girl was just out of her depth amongst a lof of strangers and didnt quite know what was expected of her.

I have been married for some time and I still make mistakes. I am not a perfect. My sisters in law show me much love and accept me with my flaws becasue they love their brother and they know that I make him happy. Thats the way that it should be.

I didnt understand the whole bit about her family and other tribe etc so cant comment.

So have they broken up now? If so, maybe its a good thing. It sounds as if she would have never passed the requrements.

Sorry If I sound harsh. No disrespect. I am just putting that girl in my daughters position

@Godmystrength, how are you?
@phema, been a while
Are we there yet?

Hello people,
Just to remind us to say a quick prayer when we can for egopersonified who lost her hubby.
She contributes her own 2 kobo on this thread from time to time..
May his soul RIP and may she find strength during this difficult time..

.

Chaii May his soul rest in perfect peace.

@ Chaircover please try and digest what I wrote. I think I have tried my best explaining. Am not perfect either. Did you read my explanation on how I called her severally to enter a car cos she didn't notice there's no chance and she totally ignored me or are you trying to be biased. She's of the same age with my kid sister and we loved her when he brought her home(we even taught her my brothers best food so I don't understand your assumption) Biko am still going to have a sister inlaw if I wished or treated her bad, I believe in Karma. I believed she never loved my brother, cos 2months ago; she was pushing my brother and my brother was able to convince us. But now that the reverse is the case she couldn't fight for their love. And she decided all of a sudden to quit just within 2weeks cos she couldn't bear the pressure from the uncle. They have separated cos she didn't want to convince her people or even reach out to her maternal uncles as my dad adviced them to. My brother cannot go to their village and convince her uncles for her na.

+ I was the maid of honor so was even busy. Was it not the look out I tried and she ignored me? We all agreed that we want our brother to be happy and also marry the girl he loves. And then what happened now? My brother is broken cos is clear that the girl didn't love him as much as he does. Am just pained and feel for my brother cos we know he loves her. My dad recently adviced my brother to move on with his life since the girl didn't even try convincing her people. Nne, the girl is not pregnant. We were even saying that if the girl really loved my brother as she claimed she would have taken in. Abeg I don tire for the matter

This is for my personal consumption and a quick update on the homefront..

The year is coming to an end and soo much has happened.
Honestly,it's been the toughest married year so far..Disappointments,problems with his family,issues with my siblings.I have handled the ish with my siblings,we are now closer.

I still don't like my inlaws oo .My BIL the betrayer and I have been talking when he calls..He asks to speak with me and when I do,I just feel like i'm back to old times when everything was rosy..I truly liked all of them except my SILs.Can't forget how they made me apologize for something I didn't do..I just did cos of Dh,not knowing i was digging a deeper hole for my lovely self.Anyway,I have to give a shoutout to them cos if not for their meanness,I wouldn't have found this thread,I wouldn't have understood the value of facing front,I would't have been able t look at myself so objectively and at least made efforts to adjust.I have made my peace with the knowledge that we will never be close but i'll make sure i do my best within these limits for DH's sake.My inlaws,i salute!!


Some moments this year, i wondered why it's so easy to hurt someone you love and for someone you love to hurt you back.
I was asking who sent me to marry this wizard in human form. Dh and I have never insulted each other no matter how we quarrel soo all my insults were in my mind..from the shape of his head to his horrible morning breath..sometimes he'd be talking and i'd want to sew his mouth shut or cuff him to the kitchen sink with no access to food for one week
I was angry with him,bitter,upset,disappointed, lost confidence in him and felt some form of resentment..Feeling all this made me angrier,remembering the times when i felt he failed me left a bitter taste in my mouth and led me to recycle my anger again.

We have been under enormous pressure especially careerwise.We both had promotion exams at the same time and I found that i was the one picking up the slack at the expense of my own career.One of my strengths is that I am extremely supportive,bend over backwards to accommodate his dreams so I just felt he wasn't doing enough for me..I felt my career was being ignored or scaled down as not as important as his.We also have a toddler who is a ball of energy so I was extremely exhausted,trying to read,manage baby,play hostess etc It's all been so friggin hard so I was angry at him,at the world,at everybody..

It's not been easy this year walahi but slowly and surely we have been scaling the hoops and getting stronger,somehow all the exams I had,despite the difficulty i faced,i passed them.

I had to take step back and count my blessings.I also realised that ive not been appreciative of him and his efforts.I don't know if this is peculiar to me,but it's sooo easy for one bad thiing to make me forget all the good things he's been doing.It's easy for me to concentrate on something he's done wrong,even fixate on it and forget that he's a wonderful man who's flawed just like me..

He buys me flowers.He bathes,feeds and prepares baby for daycare.He's an awesome provider,no complaints.Does dishes,hoovers the house,does laundry,takes me out just because.He also cooks..When i'm looking down in the dumps,he buys me icecream to cheer me up.
He understands what it means to work as a team,he's good with directions and i'm good with ideas.He's affectionate while i show mine by being a rock for him.He pops into the grocers just incase we need something at home,he's a hands on dad.
On our mini holidays,he goes out looking for food for us while i lounge with baby,buys me my chocolate liqueur without me asking,deals with everything that needs to be handled.

He's usually quick to accept when he's made a boo boo.. ahhhhh truth finally is you can win a person over simply by how you behave.Day by day i'm learning,i'm trusting,i'm loving.I'll grade myself a good wife,he grades me as a very good wife(dunno if this is to avoid any repercussion ) but I know I can be better.I'm not the easiest person to be with because my passion and opinions burn hot.I love fiercely,i protect mine with my blood and i'm extremely loyal while these are good things,they have bad sides as it may make a person have very high standards which may be impossible to meet.

Some days ago,I was under the weather and the steps he took to make me feel better just melted my heart..I haven't been saying thank you enough..I haven't really really been grateful for how hard he works,how understanding and thoughtful he is.
I've just judged myself and i've fallen short,very very short(I'm normally hard on myself).Yes,i have had my grievances but I won't let them overshadow all the good I have.

Today,I let go..DH,for the hurts of this year i'm forgiving you.I choose to put them firmly behind me and I'm doing it today.I really really appreciate all you've been doing for us,I appreciate who you are and I promise to try harder.
Love is not just a word,it's a choice and an act..I love you with words,and i will show i love you more by the things i do.
Thanks for being you..
With each passing day i realise that being married and staying happy is a matter of finetuning our attitudes till we are both in sync..i know this will take time,love,patience and effort..I'm very willing to put in everything and I pray we will stay alive long enough to hold hands,look into each others eyes and know we did it against all odds..I love you mypinkolo

I thought of egopersonified and her loss has reminded me that life is short,i have a good man,a fantastic family.I'm going to try all possible to maintain and even exceed the happiness we have.I don't want to have regrets.

My best wishes to all those getting married..Just remember it's 2 different people thrown into a house to live together and forge a life with eachother..It can't be all perfection all the time,even ribbons curl up when stretched.With time,when you say doh,he will answer reh and you'll say mi.

Some of the things you read on here are just maybe some of the fights and arguments a normal couple have.Doesn't mean a marriage is bad,NO.Simply means my partner has this weakness,i have mine,we are imperfect but we have made a commitment to love eachother no matter what

EXCEPT.... (andromida)

Cheers everyone

nawbaby,

You have to realise that your interpretation and expression of love or what love should be could be totally different for another person.If you've read 5 love languages you'll understand what i'm saying.Some give gifts,some physical touch,some acts of service,quality time,words of affirmation..
For your bro to feel loved by her taking him out to Chinese restaurants,spa etc shows he probably interprets love as spending quality time together and receiving gifts.Nothing wrong in that.

For the lady,she followed your bro when he called her to the car and seemingly ignored you.. Maybe she's not comfortable around you.You mentioned 6 years age gap,so it seems you expect some sort of deference from her,perhaps it shows and she's just avoiding you and clinging to those she's familiar with.

I will use my SILs as examples.When they married,they had to become bu tt lickers to survive with their husbands' people.I believe it made them expect that all the babes that marry their own brothers must also be bu tt lickers and once i didn't follow the command,wahala started.I have a strong personality so respect is earned and not just given as a virtue of age..I give courtesy for people older than me,and i respect those who have earned my regard,my admiration.So,i avoid them..I'd rather ride an okada than enter a mercedes benz with them.
You may not feel that way,but maybe it could be the way she's perceiving your personality?

She was probably just getting to know you all and a bit overwhelmed and wondering how to fit in.Her attempt at banter was perceived as an insult to you( I don't know how she said it though,so you can disregard this)..I have younger siblings and i found that once i forgot my age and built up rapport with them,things became easy and smooth and i'm learning not to take offence at some things they may say,same with their friends.People who are conscious of age gaps always are sensitive and have an aura round them though they may not be conscious of it.

You also mentioned that you waited for your fiance so why shouldn't she..Remember you chose to wait,the same cannot be expected from her,she's not you.

My parents rejected my DH cos we are from different tribes,but i fought for him cos i believed in us.The pressure from family can wear even the strongest person down.I was able to stand my ground cos i'm stubborn and when i believe im right,no jupiter can move me.The fact that she gave up doesn't mean she doesn't love him,she's just not strong enough to fight.Some people are weak in that regard.
Taking in for him as you suggested doesn't show she loves him,it's just a way to strong arm family and for me,totally unacceptable

She has already been reported to your bro and had to apologise to you and your mom and they haven't even married yet!!.Maybe in addition to the issues from her side, she's backing out cos the atmosphere in the family isn't one she's ready to deal with?Good people,yes but the expectations and high jump may be too much for someone who doesn't have energy

Don't measure her with yourself,or what you'd do if in the same situation.She's an individual and may react in a totally different way.

OR
Maybe she's a badly behaved chick with no manners..Then your brother has dodged a bullet and will find someone better suited to him..

Who knows,maybe things will change.
I wish them the best no matter how things go and good luck as you prepare for your wedding.

I'm just drawing from what you've written.
Cheers!

nwababy:
+ I was the maid of honor so was even busy. Was it not the look out I tried and she ignored me? We all agreed that we want our brother to be happy and also marry the girl he loves. And then what happened now? My brother is broken cos is clear that the girl didn't love him as much as he does. Am just pained and feel for my brother cos we know he loves her. My dad recently adviced my brother to move on with his life since the girl didn't even try convincing her people. Nne, the girl is not pregnant. We were even saying that if the girl really loved my brother as she claimed she would have taken in. Abeg I don tire for the matter

Not everyone can survive under pressure. So that does not make her a bad person or less in love with your brother. Sometimes love is not enough. Secondly not everyone supports the issue of getting pregnant before marriage expecially when you do it with the intent of getting your people's/the guy's mind in marriage mood as the case maybe. They have separated so I wish them well in their future relationships. But please try rid and yourself of the blame you have placed on the girl. You even said that you loved her. Which makes me to wonder if love is that easy to off and on. Because of mistakes which we all make sometimes.

Madampinkolo:
Hello people,
Just to remind us to say a quick prayer when we can for egopersonified who lost her hubby.
She contributes her own 2 kobo on this thread from time to time..
May his soul RIP and may she find strength during this difficult time..

can we get her contacts?

@nwababy, if I was your brother's fiance you would complain till thy kingdom come and I won't change. what you termed love and acceptance I see it as imposition of thoughts of what you think is right.

I dated my husband (if registry will count as a wedding) for years and I never for once liked any form of familiarity with them, rarely attend his family function and when I do, you will not find me till in am about to leave for my house. food sef I no go chop before they will say she didn't do anything but knows how to eat.

why should she help you pick money at an event when your younger siblings were present? and don't you think she was trying to avoid an embarrassment from people who don't know who she is while picking the money. and why should you make such statement about her family, when you know nobody likes their family to be bad mouthed and I am sure if the situation had turned around and your brother told you his fiance said what you told her, you may react worse than she did.

there are so many loopholes in your narration and what you termed love actually seem like a controlling and overwhelming act.

Rhukie:
@nwababy, if I was your brother's fiance you would complain till thy kingdom come and I won't change. what you termed love and acceptance I see it as imposition of thoughts of what you think is right.

I dated my husband (if registry will count as a wedding) for years and I never for once liked any form of familiarity with them, rarely attend his family function and when I do, you will not find me till in am about to leave for my house. food sef I no go chop before they will say she didn't do anything but knows how to eat.

why should she help you pick money at an event when your younger siblings were present? and don't you think she was trying to avoid an embarrassment from people who don't know who she is while picking the money. and why should you make such statement about her family, when you know nobody likes their family to be bad mouthed and I am sure if the situation had turned around and your brother told you his fiance said what you told her, you may react worse than she did.

there are so many loopholes in your narration and what you termed love actually seem like a controlling and overwhelming act.

Calm down.

Rhukie:
@nwababy, if I was your brother's fiance you would complain till thy kingdom come and I won't change. what you termed love and acceptance I see it as imposition of thoughts of what you think is right.

I dated my husband (if registry will count as a wedding) for years and I never for once liked any form of familiarity with them, rarely attend his family function and when I do, you will not find me till in am about to leave for my house. food sef I no go chop before they will say she didn't do anything but knows how to eat.

why should she help you pick money at an event when your younger siblings were present? and don't you think she was trying to avoid an embarrassment from people who don't know who she is while picking the money. and why should you make such statement about her family, when you know nobody likes their family to be bad mouthed and I am sure if the situation had turned around and your brother told you his fiance said what you told her, you may react worse than she did.

there are so many loopholes in your narration and what you termed love actually seem like a controlling and overwhelming act.

Mehn you just enter para mood... have you been in these condition before?

temi4fash:


Mehn you just enter para mood... have you been in these condition before?

christabeli:
Calm down.

temi4fash:


Mehn you just enter para mood... have you been in these condition before?

I am sorry jare. I tire for all this in law show of love Ni joor

Givemejoy:
can we get her contacts?

Hi,unfortunately i don't have it..
I'm too scared to communicate with peeps off nairaland

Rhukie:
@nwababy, if I was your brother's fiance you would complain till thy kingdom come and I won't change. what you termed love and acceptance I see it as imposition of thoughts of what you think is right.

I dated my husband (if registry will count as a wedding) for years and I never for once liked any form of familiarity with them, rarely attend his family function and when I do, you will not find me till in am about to leave for my house. food sef I no go chop before they will say she didn't do anything but knows how to eat.

why should she help you pick money at an event when your younger siblings were present? and don't you think she was trying to avoid an embarrassment from people who don't know who she is while picking the money. and why should you make such statement about her family, when you know nobody likes their family to be bad mouthed and I am sure if the situation had turned around and your brother told you his fiance said what you told her, you may react worse than she did.

there are so many loopholes in your narration and what you termed love actually seem like a controlling and overwhelming act.

. I don't know why some people will not digest or at most tried and read what is written before you drive to conclusion please quote where I said she should help us to pick money. If you don't know what to say, is not a must to comment.

nwababy:
. I don't know why some people will not digest or at most tried and read what is written before you drive to conclusion please quote where I said she should help us to pick money. If you don't know what to say, is not a must to comment.

Pls don't get upset, It's not necessary. The most important thing is to satisfy your conscience that you meant well for her and tried your best to make things work. However, go through some of the objective comments by previous posters and learn from them what you could have done better as a sister-in- law. The lessons learnt is what matters in every situation, besides, it would also help you in your own journey with your in laws.

nwababy:
. I don't know why some people will not digest or at most tried and read what is written before you drive to conclusion please quote where I said she should help us to pick money. If you don't know what to say, is not a must to comment.

aunty, since you don't understand what you wrote, there is no reason for us to go back and forth. peace

I expected to see a deep and great offence committed by this your brother's fiance.....but ....none.

She didn't cheat on him
She didn't abort their baby
She didn't leave him for another man


So, her only crime now is because she didn't fight for their love.
Nwababy come to think of it, what if she was trying to protect your brother from the unknown.
What if she was told that your brother will die immediately after their wedding.

Sometimes loving someone is more than just saying it or fighting for it. Sometimes we have to let go in other to create room for a happy ending.

Honestly I feel for that girl. Believe me when I say she must have sacrifice her happiness for your brother's happiness. There is a reason for everything and if they were meant to be together they will surely be together.

Pls my online family im back again. My question is what happens after marriage? I ask this cos i get scared sometimes about getting married. I love my fiance so much but i wonder after marriage will we get so used to each other that the spark dies or what. My parents had an unhappy marriage so it seems impossible to me for the love we share now to continue after marriage. Thank God my fiance's parents had a wonderful marriage so atleast one of us believes in love after marriage. Right now i should be happy and walking on the clouds cos i couldnt have chosen a better man and his family nko? They love me to bits i guess the fact that most of them have known me for ages helps as well. But i just cant relax mehn! I always think about what it would be like some yrs down the line.. If we will still love each other so? Chai i guess this is where faith comes in. Abeg make una no vex i just needed to rant jare. But for the married peeps in the house how do you keep the fire burning ehh!?

MadCow1:



[b]Madam..

Leave all these small girls wey full here wey dey form Online James Bond..

CHEATING IN MARRIAGE is way way different from CHEATING IN BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND relationships..

I have seen enough to start tp pity women. I have witnessed a Man whose wife tracked him to a (Corner side) hotel in Port Harcourt and confronted him live in the reception.. As the Woman was losing her mind and acting a fool there, the Man looks to the Hotel Manager like to say; What type of embarassment is this.. Nna men, Na so Security come evict the woman from the Hotel o!! The Man collect Key, carry ehn Babe enter room.. LIVE!! As in!!! I was in shock.. A few hours later, the Man comes out and drives away.. The WOman was still outside inside her car crying..

I have seen Women whose husbands even impregnated a girl outside stay in the marriage.. Even made moves to adopt the child from the side boo.

Marriage I tell the young ones is a big game changer.. Everything you thought you knew about marriage flies out the window most especially when you are in an unfaithful and abusive relationship.. [/b]

make God no let my eye see bad thing...

=breadplanets
My 2 kobo
Make up your mind to have a happy marriage no matter what
Your parents marriage is theirs pick the good out of it and determine to excel in yours.
Have a positive mindset and outlook towards marriage is the best decision there is dear.

Rhukie:
@nwababy, if I was your brother's fiance you would complain till thy kingdom come and I won't change. what you termed love and acceptance I see it as imposition of thoughts of what you think is right.

I dated my husband (if registry will count as a wedding) for years and I never for once liked any form of familiarity with them, rarely attend his family function and when I do, you will not find me till in am about to leave for my house. food sef I no go chop before they will say she didn't do anything but knows how to eat.

why should she help you pick money at an event when your younger siblings were present? and don't you think she was trying to avoid an embarrassment from people who don't know who she is while picking the money. and why should you make such statement about her family, when you know nobody likes their family to be bad mouthed and I am sure if the situation had turned around and your brother told you his fiance said what you told her, you may react worse than she did.

there are so many loopholes in your narration and what you termed love actually seem like a controlling and overwhelming act.

badt geh