hispinkolo:
@bellong,

I didn't read the other posts, the pepper story caught my attention. I will read and give my opinion.

Thank you

@hispinkolo,Godmystrength and Africaine God will surely intervene.
I have learnt a lot from you guys .

Out of my shell. Am a silent reader and I ve learn a real lot 4rm dis thread, my marriage is 2yrs now bt I ve not encounter any un necesary challenges am a house wife althu I ve a little business that I use in holding body and soul together. But I ve seen different type of marriage challanges 4rm my extended families
Godmystrenght you re a very strong woman I keep imaginig my self in your shoes, I wuld ve been in a serious state of depression by now God forbid.
Aisha2 I like d way u address issues and the ways u support pple bt at tyms u can be extremely harsh *noharm* bt I really lyk it. Wish I culd be dat blunt.
To every breadwinner out there after the rain comes sunshine. There is always a bright light after the tunnel.

@Hispinkolo I need to come 4 lectures on how to over pepper his meals. Lol there re times I just need it to set him straight lmao

abisquare: Out of my shell. Am a silent reader and I ve learn a real lot 4rm dis thread, my marriage is 2yrs now bt I ve not encounter any un necesary challenges am a house wife althu I ve a little business that I use in holding body and soul together. But I ve seen different type of marriage challanges 4rm my extended families
Godmystrenght you re a very strong woman I keep imaginig my self in your shoes, I wuld ve been in a serious state of depression by now God forbid.
Aisha2 I like d way u address issues and the ways u support pple bt at tyms u can be extremely harsh *noharm* bt I really lyk it. Wish I culd be dat blunt.
To every breadwinner out there after the rain comes sunshine. There is always a bright light after the tunnel.

Lol, thank you love. Sometimes infact most times me self na harshness my sisters dey take rewire me, carrot and stick approach lol

abisquare: @Hispinkolo I need to come 4 lectures on how to over pepper his meals. Lol there re times I just need it to set him straight lmao

i am begging you on his behalf o my sister. Please forgive him in advance. But won't you guys eat from the same pot?

Africaine: See I don't understand what is happening anymore,the story is same in 75percent of homes,the woman is the breadwinner while the men give variety of excuses.

Your statistic is worrisome . How did you arrive at 75%? Don't let what you experience make you give a ridiculous conclusion. Some men may not be working but are never comfortable seeing their wives becoming the breadwinner.

I have been married for 8years and i have single handedly taken care of all the bills for 6years,my husband is 11 year older than me,He has an excuses for everything under sun,why he cant move forward and the latest one he tells me now is"I'm working on something,when it clicks i will let you know"just imagine.

Let us appreciate God for the grace that at least the bills are paid. I am not excusing your husband's nonchalant attitude but what if you have/had no job? He may and may not be working on something but a lot of men will not tell their plans when it is not 100% sure of working out. It doesn't mean he is lying about it. I don't know your husband to know whether his statement is true.

When we met,he was working in the bank,he gave a customer loan,the loan went bad,he was suspended and asked to go recover the loan,he was home for 1year after which he was fired,yet he decides against better judgment to go work for the client he gave loan initially. the most annoying part is that you claim to be working for someone and you cant even boast 10k in your pocket at the end of the month,yet you have 3kids in school.

Did you ask him what drew him to work for the defaulter? Are you sure he is not getting something from the place? He may probably be going to deal with the frustration of staying at home.

He comes home everyday and eats his food,he doesn't ask me how am managing,the kids school fees is paid ,he doesnt even ask,not to talk of other things.

This one is bad. He should at least be caring and considerate about your emotions.

Everyday I regret my decision,I am from a broken home,I am trying to end the cycle but its so hard. I am lucky I have a good job,thank fully am not in debt but it really frustrating hustling the way i do and seeing a grown ass man give excuses.
first he said his lack of having a car was stopping him from going out,I bought him a car,nothing has changed,i even offered to pay for his masters abroad,yet he doesn't want to do it,the thing tire me walahi.

The aim of the devil for homes is to ruin it as the home is the basic unit of the society. He does that by striking the man (strike the shepherd and scatter the sheep) through unemployment, bedridden etc. I wouldn't know how resolute is your husband to be out of this situation but regretting to marry him is giving the enemy an advantage. There was something you saw in him before making that important decision, and I think that thing is still there.

Let us be grateful for the job you have and grace to bear the responsibilities on his behalf. Don't offer to pay for his Masters abroad, it is not what he needs now. He first need to realize the disservice he is doing to himself and his family before thinking of upgrading his educational status.

I have prayed and fasted,but men...it seems God is upset with me because there has been no improvements oh...i have called his close friends to talk to him,but still same,i went to his family,his parents said i am a bad woman that i am complaining now,because he doesnt money. inshort am just tired.

I would suggest you get his CV and do applications on his behalf for openings you can find that suits his skills. Talk to your friends and colleagues to help fix him if possible.

Stop encouraging his laziness by doing the basic things that should be done at home. Do not fund his excesses, buying a car is going above board, who fuels the car daily? Let him work for whatever he wants. Cater for the kids, basic domestic utilities and let him worry about other things. It is because you are doing everything that is giving him confidence to be complacent. STOP FUNDING HIS LAZINESS.

Right now,i just to kick him out,he is of no use to me...am just holding and praying for divine intervention right now.

This statement is not cool. He was of use when you said Yes to his proposal, he was of use when he was working. At least you had no complaints while he was still working. How do you think there will be divine intervention? By his demise or divine scattering of your union?

Search your heart woman and don't nurture any ills towards your husband.

I pray that God intervenes in your husband's situation.

Wow! This thread is a jewel among threads. I had to read every post very slowly. I'm glad I did. I felt surprise, shock, relief, sadness, pity, disappointment, anger and mirth through it all.


@ hispinkolo, I like the fact that you have truly understood the issue now, and have made up your mind to stand afar and focus on your husband. However you should not see your in-laws as enemies. Defensive mode is fine when you are attacked (if your husband doesn't man up to protect you), but it's not ok to go on the offensive. It's your husband's family, and even if they dislike you, they still hold a place in your husband's heart.

It's bad that he cannot stand up for you in the face of his family,really bad. Still, it likely is because of the way he was brought up. Don't let that one flaw drive any wedge between you two. Forget the world and love your husband to bits. All the best.



@ snazzylove... You have a gift for narration. I could almost see everything you described. I must confess, I got mad at your husband for letting you go through all that. I like the way you handled it too. I got an evil sense of satisfaction from the shock on his face when you errupted. Precious!
Thanks for sharing.



@ Godismystrength... I think others have said it all. Make your child your priority. Improve yourself and save for the future. Don't spend on your husband, don't take loans to pay for his responsibilities. Whatever you do, don't give him the key to your account.

Your husband is shameless (sorry o, I would not be happy with myself if I leave out that part). He needs to get realise that he has responsibilities and that it's not okay to push them to you. He cannot live off your sweat and still boss you around. Toughen up your love



@ Africaine, that's one sad tale. Still, it's important not to forget the circumstances. He wasn't always like this until he lost his job. He may have gone through some psychological strain. I think what he needs now is a morale boost in his abilities as a provider and not a spender, else he'd just get himself comfortable with your money.

Your showering him with money (even a car) is a no brainer. It's only going to make him lazier. Don't sponsor any trip abroad either. Do not make any rash decision though. Help him get a better job if you can. Help him wake up to his responsibilities.



May God bless the marriage of every sincere person working hard to make it work.

Oahray: Wow! This thread is a jewel among threads. I had to read every post very slowly. I'm glad I did. I felt surprise, shock, relief, sadness, pity, disappointment, anger and mirth through it all.

@ Godismystrength... I think others have said it all. Make your child your priority. Improve yourself and save for the future. Don't spend on your husband, don't take loans to pay for his responsibilities. Whatever you do, don't give him the key to your account.

Your husband is shameless (sorry o, I would not be happy with myself if I leave out that part). He needs to get realise that he has responsibilities and that it's not okay to push them to you. He cannot live off your sweat and still boss you around. Toughen up your love


May God bless the marriage of every sincere person working hard to make it work.

Amen and thanks.

Marriage isn't easy. I wonder why some single ladies are so desperate. If only they knew. A ring doesn't compensate for the infinite variety of downs available to the married. I believe marriage should be a means to an end, and not an end itself. Meeting the right (compatible) person you would want to be with for the rest of your life, should be the reason for desiring to get married, not the other way round. When one marries in haste, he would repent in leisure.

People often neglect traits during courtship and suffer for it later. If your gf/bf dislikes your family or feels unnaturally uneasy about them, be careful. It's not likely to change during marriage if it cannot change during courtship.

I'm not married, but God knows, my wife would be the queen of my home and as long as she respects herself and others, anyone who makes trouble for her has touched my eyeball. I'd bite and bite deep! Everyone would have his/her place and do well not to cross boundaries.

@abisquare
Just sprinkle the food with Cameroon pepper before serving it..he will testify (after using correct atarodo for the main cooking)
Abeg oooo don't join me in my evil

@ Oahray
Thanks a lot,I will try to stop being on the offensive.Will take time but I'll get there.He has promised to start protecting me,so let me believe him.

I agree with you as per neglecting traits when getting married. I will use myself as example. My Dad is a wonderful father,but as a husband not so great. He's quite the dictator..So I set out to avoid the same traits in my man.I was so focused on infidelity,bad temper,signs of abuse,domesticity,ideas on finances that I didn't really pay attention to other things cos I felt I'd be able to deal with them without hassles.

I loved the fact that he'd always listen to my opinions and exercise so much patience with me. I did notice that he always avoided getting into arguments or quarrels and didn't like to discuss issues,he'd just rather we forget about them and move on.I'm quite feisty so I was sooo happy I was getting a man who wouldn't cause me problems.
I'd also like to add that I was very inexperienced and naive when I met him,he's my first love,first and only lover etc so I was quite naive and didn't really know that the above flaw could cause us problems..(cos he avoids quarrels ,arguments,discord anything that threatens peace with everyone,he just keeps quiet and watches)

Then we got married and noticed he cherishes peace,would want to avoid wahala by sweeping issues under the rug but as I grew older,I found that I prefer to dissect issues to the last otherwise I'd be angry and resentful.Id be sooo angry that my pen was burning holes in my journal,I was forever scribbling sins and my thoughts on the sins instead of discussing them.Funny thing is I'd also admit my mistakes on paper but it was killing me to keep them bottled up.At a point I started becoming bitter and angrier..
We have made progress with this but it's not been easy.

I also did not pay attention to hostility from his family cos it was subtle.In retrospect, the signs were all there but I was too clueless to understand.I believe I was feeling I could take on anything and anyone even without his help.Una don see am naa
Little little things and traits are the issues sometimes,we forget to look at them instead we focus on the so called BIG flaws.I wish I could write a list on what to look out for but we humans differ sooo much.Something that's a big deal to me,may just be beans to someonelse.

My point is that no matter how hard we try to do our homework on traits,we can make mistakes..for some,the mistakes could be fatal.

I will be first to admit that I have a good marriage though,mainly due to my husbands willingness to make it work at all costs.No one can come between us OOO,walahi! Hot pepper awaits the person

Note that inspite of how well suited we think we are,and how lovely my hubby is,sometimes When we have issues I regret getting married and I tell him I dislike him so much,he always replies me and says my feelings for him are never stable and I'll get over it ..This makes me angrier,lol.Marriage is hard.

I pray God restores homes oo.

This thread is an instant classic!! Its the real deal men....

Kudos to everyone.





I see loretta is now cococandy. How are you dear? Dont you get tired of schooling these peeps?

I'm fine thank you
The lord is my strength

ladygogo: This thread is an instant classic!! Its the real deal men....

Kudos to everyone.





I see loretta is now cococandy. How are you dear? Dont you get tired of schooling these peeps?

I haven't told the whole story, it's too long. So I will try and summarise. When he was in the bank, a year into our marriage, he went borrowing, I didn't know about it and till he hasn't been be to say exactly what used the money for,and more importantly he didn't tell me, and when I kept asking what was going on he didn't come clean, his colleague at work is the one that came to the house and opened up to me, he even printed out his bank statements just incase I didn't believe him....inshort I shouldn't be doing this.

I don't know what to do anymore, I have tried to encourage him a wife should but still no improvement. Am just tired

Hmmmmm. All I have to say is God is our strength. Marriage aren't easy @ all but will I use cos of its challenges and not venture? Lie lie. Am going to carry my twins next year by God's grace. Meanwhile, my fiance just got a job and I lost mine irony of life(though mine was just 10percent of his salary). When I was working and he wasn't, I made sure he knows his responsibilities as a man and that doesn't mean I don't help him out. I made sure I searched for laziness trait in him lol. He was without a job for a decade and got the best by God's grace through certification and Almighty God.@ Godmystrength, try agreement prayers with your hubby; pray without ceasing. I will assure you that it wouldn't happen immediately oh but with time God will change his situation He did it for me, he can still do for you. you're indeed a strong woman.

Africaine: I haven't told the whole story, it's too long. So I will try and summarise. When he was in the bank, a year into our marriage, he went borrowing, I didn't know about it and till he hasn't been be to say exactly what used the money for,and more importantly he didn't tell me, and when I kept asking what was going on he didn't come clean, his colleague at work is the one that came to the house and opened up to me, he even printed out his bank statements just incase I didn't believe him....inshort I shouldn't be doing this.
I don't know what to do anymore, I have tried to encourage him a wife should but still no improvement. Am just tired

I'm soo sorry you feel you're at the end of your rope.Have you tried to stop funding his lifestyle?As in not giving anything to him @ all?Just fending for you and the kids?
It seems the popular sentiment is that you should withdraw any form of monetary funding for him as it may make him sit up..it's either that or he becomes a house husband..

Is he trying to get another job?
At the worst,maybe you should take your kids and disappear for a while? Travel for a holiday to clear your head without him.I don't think you have the willpower though..I just dunno what to say except that you should stay strong and try not to lose your head..
Feel free to vent here.

Sorry I'm not more helpful

Africaine: I haven't told the whole story, it's too long. So I will try and summarise. When he was in the bank, a year into our marriage, he went borrowing, I didn't know about it and till he hasn't been be to say exactly what used the money for,and more importantly he didn't tell me, and when I kept asking what was going on he didn't come clean, his colleague at work is the one that came to the house and opened up to me, he even printed out his bank statements just incase I didn't believe him....inshort I shouldn't be doing this.

I don't know what to do anymore, I have tried to encourage him a wife should but still no improvement. Am just tired

I understand the situation however, just as everyone has advised, stop funding his lifestyle. Now that you know about the loan, let him know you are willing to help nonetheless, you need to know what the money was used for amongst other. I pray for strength for you to carry on.

It is never easy for a man to fight his parents that has given their best to bring them up to where he is, or their siblings who stood by them all through their life, just because of a woman that just care only for herself and her own family.
I have stayed in a cousins place and his wife will finish cooking and won't give me and other cousins food even though as a working class that just started new then, i do wash her car and wash her husband's (my cousin)cloths and iron it after. While my other cousin who work in a bank will cook on sundays after our brothers wife will lock up our freezer and carried the cooked food to her room upstairs and lock it up with us eating.


See, ladies i cannot trust all your stories here, cos i have seen alot of thing from the said brother's wify.
Women has a way to tear a peaceful family apart, i am a witness of that

This is classic! This topic has taught me Marriage aint beans @all.God pls stretch forth ur hands on all marriages wiv one prblm or the oda. I ve really learnt a lot n a bit scared of this institution called Marriage.Am a kind of person dat get fed up easily,wonder wat I wud ve done if I were in ur shoes.

It's weekend yayyyyy!
Sorry I post so much but I feel one day,I'll look here and laugh at my angry write ups.

The purpose of this thread is not to scare anyone off marriage..NO. It just shows little issues that crop up along the journey and also to let people know that it's not as Simple as ABC,it takes strong will and determination to make it work as well as a huge dollop of forgiveness,patience,tolerance and also overlooking some things inorder to avoid unnecessary arguments.

I struggle a lot with forgiveness,I like to exact my pound of flesh.. It normally gives me a tingle of satisfaction when someone has a dose of their own medicine..I don't set out to payback o,but I don't do anything to prevent a tsunami on the person if I see it happening.Even when I claim I forgive,I normally blacklist the offender and cut them out of my life..or I become standoffish.I only let go when the issue has been trashed thoroughly and I get closure.
After the issue with my inlaws,I decided to draw closer to my own family members.In my family,we are not too close,we just do our own thing but I started making more efforts to draw close to them,visit them,listen to them.I even changed my approach to discussing with them and it has yielded tremendous positive results for me.One of my younger siblings was quite rude to my aunt and I cautioned her,then she turned and started screaming at me.my other siblings pounced on her and shouted on her well well.It made me soo happy to see us band together.They later called her and really spoke with her about her behaviour..after days of face carrying,she came to me and we spoke at length..I apologised to her for any way I caused her distress and she felt so bad that she started crying.
I realised that forgiveness is good.It is sweet to let go of pain especially when it's someone you love.I felt so much love for my sister at that point and I don't feel any hurt when I even recall what happened.
I don't know how to explain it but our relationship as a family has vastly improved after that blow out.

Why then is it so difficult to be the same way with others?Im just thinking out loud....It is Christ like to forgive but I don't know how to in this case..and I'm not the best Christian anyways.

Through this whole thing,I think I've come out better,I'm now much much nicer to others,more accommodating and lenient. I now know that being older than someone is the reason I should act better.Im now more careful about how I talk to people and treat others.

I believe that in every bad situation,there's always something positive no matter how little.

I'll set the ball rolling on ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT MY SPOUSE..



HUMILITY
Most of my problems stem from my difficulty to forgive?He taught me by his actions that there's nothing like pride in marriage because we are working towards the same goal..NOT I BUT US..US is the keyword.He doesn't feel too big to take the first steps in reconciliation,and I learnt from him to pursue peace.
In the 1st year,I was always waiting for him to say sorry and he used to do that but kinda grew tired of it.So one day,we quarrelled and as usual,I was waiting.Day 1,NOTHING. Day 2,NOTHING.. HEII..I started having high bp,but decided to wait on till he breaks..DAY 3,this man still ignored me.I was soo miserable that I packed to another room yet he didn't move a muscle.I started praying to God to do something and I'll not be stubborn again.

DAY 4, I don't know what entered me but I decided to do something drastic.I took my bag and my phones and ran away while he was asleep .I went to a park nearby my house and sat there.Unfortunately for me,it was cold and I didn't have a sweater with me.One hour my teeth started chattering..2 ,3 hours I was shaking but I said I'd rather die than go home.I was looking at my phone and calling on God to force hubby to worry and call my phone.I told God to do this for me and I won't bear grudges again.I knew the shame of going home after all my shakers would be too much and worse if hubby didn't give a hoot.I cried well well but after a while,my phone rang and it was him..I was happy but I didn't pick..I picked at the third call and he told me he loves me and I should come home cos he was very worried.
The way I ran home ehhhh..He was there to meet me and hugged me.I told him I didn't love him anymore and he laughed well.I apologised to him and he made me scrambled eggs..He said sorry too and explained I w as hurting our union by being stubborn.He told me he was hurting and couldn't concentrate but had to be hard cos it was necessary for me to have a taste of my own medicine..

When I look back,I laugh at what I did.What if he didn't care to call me nko? I'd have gone home with shame

I've learnt my lesson.Im not too big to beg when I'm wrong..For extra drama,I even throw myself on the floor,lol

@ hispinkolo: may God help me on this one oooo.... coz I can be very stubborn eh, it almost crashed my relationship if not for the understanding and matured mind of my partner.

hispinkolo: I'll set the ball rolling on ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT MY SPOUSE..



HUMILITY
Most of my problems stem from my difficulty to forgive?He taught me by his actions that there's nothing like pride in marriage because we are working towards the same goal..NOT I BUT US..US is the keyword.He doesn't feel too big to take the first steps in reconciliation,and I learnt from him to pursue peace.
In the 1st year,I was always waiting for him to say sorry and he used to do that but kinda grew tired of it.So one day,we quarrelled and as usual,I was waiting.Day 1,NOTHING. Day 2,NOTHING.. HEII..I started having high bp,but decided to wait on till he breaks..DAY 3,this man still ignored me.I was soo miserable that I packed to another room yet he didn't move a muscle.I started praying to God to do something and I'll not be stubborn again.

DAY 4, I don't know what entered me but I decided to do something drastic.I took my bag and my phones and ran away while he was asleep .I went to a park nearby my house and sat there.Unfortunately for me,it was cold and I didn't have a sweater with me.One hour my teeth started chattering..2 ,3 hours I was shaking but I said I'd rather die than go home.I was looking at my phone and calling on God to force hubby to worry and call my phone.I told God to do this for me and I won't bear grudges again.I knew the shame of going home after all my shakers would be too much and worse if hubby didn't give a hoot.I cried well well but after a while,my phone rang and it was him..I was happy but I didn't pick..I picked at the third call and he told me he loves me and I should come home cos he was very worried.
The way I ran home ehhhh..He was there to meet me and hugged me.I told him I didn't love him anymore and he laughed well.I apologised to him and he made me scrambled eggs..He said sorry too and explained I w as hurting our union by being stubborn.He told me he was hurting and couldn't concentrate but had to be hard cos it was necessary for me to have a taste of my own medicine..

When I look back,I laugh at what I did.What if he didn't care to call me nko? I'd have gone home with shame

I've learnt my lesson.Im not too big to beg when I'm wrong..For extra drama,I even throw myself on the floor,lol

;DSo funny!!!!I feel too proud to say sorry even when I really am. Something similar happened to me when I was a newly wed and it changed my outlook on the entire pride package. I offended him and refused to apologize, though it didn't last for days because he apologized and counseled me at night. I was shocked to see that he was able to go a whole day not talking to me. Since then, i apologize when am wrong but when am not, i don't mind not talking to you for as long as you are comfortable not talking to me. The best I will do is point out my grievances, its left for you to decide when to get jolly again.



Humility is an aspect of my spouse I have learnt a lot from, pride really has no place in the holy matrimony.

Dominiquez: It is never easy for a man to fight his parents that has given their best to bring them up to where he is, or their siblings who stood by them all through their life, just because of a woman that just care only for herself and her own family.
I have stayed in a cousins place and his wife will finish cooking and won't give me and other cousins food even though as a working class that just started new then, i do wash her car and wash her husband's (my cousin)cloths and iron it after. While my other cousin who work in a bank will cook on sundays after our brothers wife will lock up our freezer and carried the cooked food to her room upstairs and lock it up with us eating.


See, ladies i cannot trust all your stories here, cos i have seen alot of thing from the said brother's wify.
Women has a way to tear a peaceful family apart, i am a witness of that

Your one case suits all right?

dorosola: hmmmmmmmm.....with all these things am reading, marriage no be moi moi o........

one think I love this thread for is the real life situations and matured advice from people who have been there. this keeps me wondering why the moderator has not shifted this to front page all these while.

MODS abeg do the needful.

by the way, where is Babymama1

On admission in the hospital ,recovering.
This too shall pass

hispinkolo: I'll set the ball rolling on ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT MY SPOUSE..



HUMILITY
Most of my problems stem from my difficulty to forgive?He taught me by his actions that there's nothing like pride in marriage because we are working towards the same goal..NOT I BUT US..US is the keyword.He doesn't feel too big to take the first steps in reconciliation,and I learnt from him to pursue peace.
In the 1st year,I was always waiting for him to say sorry and he used to do that but kinda grew tired of it.So one day,we quarrelled and as usual,I was waiting.Day 1,NOTHING. Day 2,NOTHING.. HEII..I started having high bp,but decided to wait on till he breaks..DAY 3,this man still ignored me.I was soo miserable that I packed to another room yet he didn't move a muscle.I started praying to God to do something and I'll not be stubborn again.

DAY 4, I don't know what entered me but I decided to do something drastic.I took my bag and my phones and ran away while he was asleep .I went to a park nearby my house and sat there.Unfortunately for me,it was cold and I didn't have a sweater with me.One hour my teeth started chattering..2 ,3 hours I was shaking but I said I'd rather die than go home.I was looking at my phone and calling on God to force hubby to worry and call my phone.I told God to do this for me and I won't bear grudges again.I knew the shame of going home after all my shakers would be too much and worse if hubby didn't give a hoot.I cried well well but after a while,my phone rang and it was him..I was happy but I didn't pick..I picked at the third call and he told me he loves me and I should come home cos he was very worried.
The way I ran home ehhhh..He was there to meet me and hugged me.I told him I didn't love him anymore and he laughed well.I apologised to him and he made me scrambled eggs..He said sorry too and explained I w as hurting our union by being stubborn.He told me he was hurting and couldn't concentrate but had to be hard cos it was necessary for me to have a taste of my own medicine..

When I look back,I laugh at what I did.What if he didn't care to call me nko? I'd have gone home with shame

I've learnt my lesson.Im not too big to beg when I'm wrong..For extra drama,I even throw myself on the floor,lol

This really cracked me up, funny u, Godbless ur husband

Babymama1:
On admission in the hospital ,recovering.
This too shall pass

BabyMama you don born ne? I remember the post yesterday about O&g visits.

Do get better sweets. Its well with you

Marriage has it ups and down. Many people are facing a whole lot in marriages. I have wonderful inlaws, my MIL is an easy going woman. I don't haves with my bro or sis inlaw cos I don't know how to over familiarize myself with them. My hubby family is close knitted, mine isn't. I can stay a month or weeks without calling my siblings or mum and they won't complain. They might even pick up fone and call you that they haven't heard from u. To my in-laws it has always been fight that I don't call. Aunties inlaw ll expect you to call them every day and if u don't call they report you to hubby. And this causes friction. If one of them celebrate birthday and you don't call in the morning and you wait till evening you are in for a serious batch from hubby.

The issues I have with hubby is that he is too sentimental to a fault. He thinks of other people first before himself and his immediate family(wife n children). He can give his whole money to people n if you complain he ll ask weda you are hungry. Another minus to me is that he keeps a lot of female friends, exes are not left behind. Before you know money is exchanging hands. Calling and chatting, yet u might never see the chats or the logs. The monies are given in the name of borrow but you and I know, they are not always paid back. He keeps saying just friends, but if u look critically the women gets to fall in love and by that he ll be using diplomacy on them instead of outright telling them off. He rather fights u and tell you that this one is just a friend and she has come to stay rather than telling them off.

Apart from women and finances matter, we are good. But these aspect has made me to resent him so much that I am beginning to blank out my heart so that I won't b hurt. Cos I don't know how else to deal with the emotional pains of knowing that hubby will always choose to make other people happy while he knows that deep down you are sad.

Africaine: I haven't told the whole story, it's too long. So I will try and summarise. When he was in the bank, a year into our marriage, he went borrowing, I didn't know about it and till he hasn't been be to say exactly what used the money for,and more importantly he didn't tell me, and when I kept asking what was going on he didn't come clean, his colleague at work is the one that came to the house and opened up to me, he even printed out his bank statements just incase I didn't believe him....inshort I shouldn't be doing this.

I don't know what to do anymore, I have tried to encourage him a wife should but still no improvement. Am just tired

Did he take the loan from the bank he was working?

Is the bank presently requesting for the loan to be Paid?

Please answer these questions. Thank you.

Awww Babymama get will soon Jor. Meanwhile, let me continue with my slient reading Lol no strength to type boo

Babymama1:

On admission in the hospital ,recovering.
This too shall pass

the balm of Gilead is with u.Get well fast

Real Housewives of Nairaland.