Boye94: I av a father in my Mother.

You almost made me cry with this comment.

Thank God for my mother, where would we have been?

There is beauty in diversity and strenght in polygamy if well managed. Polygamy shouldn't be blamed for irresponsibility of men that jettison their homes for angels outside. There are many other factors that could b responsible(greed, drunkiness, bad company, voodoo etc). This our idea of one man,one wife is directly linked to d growing number of single mothers and over-ripe single ladies in d society. Am an advocate of polygamy and a polygamist. Ladies should please try to be less possessive and sacrifice a bit for d world to b a better place. I love my wives and children and nothing except death could make me denied them.

coogar:

how has making men pay child support stop unwanted babies in the developed countries? it will even increase the frequency especially in a country like nigeria where cash is king! what stops a groundnut seller to get impregnated by a well-to-do man so she can be collecting monthly stipend from him?

people value money than kids in naija.

i can assure the U.S is not overpopulated or Sweden, Denmark, Norway. In a setting where you know having babies all over the place won't do you any good than bankruptcy in the worst case scenario or jail, no one will tell you to exercise self control. A land without rules, experiences ruins.

I luv ur trend it makes sense but whay about if the man is doing well for the family then suddenly things change the man is no longer able to performed is duty as a man what we you call that pls enlightened me

jerryjere: I luv ur trend it makes sense but whay about if the man is doing well for the family then suddenly things change the man is no longer able to performed is duty as a man what we you call that pls enlightened me

in my opinion, the man will continue trying his best with the little he has.
raising children is not all about plenty of money, the presence of father at home goes a very long way is ensuring good future for the children.
children listen more to their father's correction and discipline than their mothers. there are so many situation the father's presence would save.
the foolishness in the heart of every children will take advantage of divorce scenario for them to go wayward even when the mother have more than enough to take care of them. it is double job for mothers to raise children alone. But the children dare not try rubbish average and disciplined father.

hayoakins: Spreads mat to read the post...brb to comment meaningfully

Edited:

Now, you are gonna make me cry.

Polygamy is a modafking BIITCH, it is responsible for the high rate of irresponsible FATHERS

Lol, as if some monogamous fathers are any better.

I'm brought up in a polygamy home and my father is responsible and caring.

monogamy does not conclude that a man is responsible, study shows that a polygamous family man is more faithful than monogamous husband.

My dad is very responsible when it comes to our Education.The man tried,God bless him,BUT,my papa na Sam okparaji wen it comes to UKWU NWAnyi!!Remember one wey one lady teacher for my school dey pass,the lady get big yansh,na so me and my mom dey look am weda he go look d yansh.He still fucccck up!Him use style rotate him head.Abeg make una leave my papa ooo .The yanch sef too extra ordinary.

There's no excuse for irresponsibility at all. Polygamy is no excuse. Poverty is no excuse. If you don’t want a baby, don't make one

The society itself encourages irresponsibility in men. So since we have many irresponsible men, then expect many irresponsible fathers. Many men believe in popping out babies but not in caring for them. We are begining to have a lot of sperm donors instead of fathers. A society that believes men are free to cheat, sleep around and have many wives, what do you expect will come out of such a society? Humans will continue to abuse privileges which is why the 'Man must cheat' mantra is everywhere, widely believed and defended like lives depend on it. Married men cheating on their wives like its a virus, expecting that the marriage will remain the same. MISTRESSES NOW BECOME DICTATORS IN THE HOME. Our moral values are low even though we like to pretend its the opposite and compare ourselves with the west. You can imagine married men spending millions on runs babes, building mansions and funding international trips for them, such privileges their family lack. And they will come out and boast of being Heads of their family. and what advice is given to the wives? to bear it all and take over his position to provide for their kids thence encouraging the circle of irresponsibility. Ridiculous!! No wonder the shout for submission from women is very loud.

There is so much emphasis on the training of the girl child to be good wives but nothing is usually said of training boys to be good husbands and fathers. That is why we are in this mess. What is the point of concentrating so much on raising good wives who will be good mothers if we are having more and more irresponsible men becoming irresponsible fathers? are we saying good wives dnt deserve good husbands? Are we saying children do not deserve good fathers?? this belief of men being free to do whatever they want is causing more dysfunctional homes. As you can see, many young men have irresponsible fathers as evident in the comments in this thread. Before you know it, it becomes a circle. some will learn not to repeat the mistakes of their fathers while others will follow their examples. Now they wonder why youths of now have low morals. Irresponsible men with bad lifestyles become bad examples to their kids. And it goes on like a circle. Poor training of men+low morals+bad parenting〓more and more dysfunctional children and homes.

Married men should learn to stick to their wives. Having children comes with responsibility. Being the head isnt about beating your chest and shouting submission submission submission. Its about responsibilities!! all parents should endeavor to train their boy child with diligence. Fathers should try to be role models to their sons so that this circle of irresponsibility passed from generation to generation can be stopped. Its shameful please.

lynpetra: My dad is very responsible when it comes to our Education.The man tried,God bless him,BUT,my papa na Sam okparaji wen it comes to UKWU NWAnyi!!Remember one wey one lady teacher for my school dey pass,the lady get big yansh,na so me and my mom dey look am weda he go look d yansh.He still fucccck up!Him use style rotate him head.Abeg make una leave my papa ooo .The yanch sef too extra ordinary.

Make una leave the guy jor. Looking is not doing.

Since it takes two to make a baby,it will take two to train the child. When some men doesnt believe that raising up a child is part of their responsibility but the mama job. Who is to blame?

[quote author=Motunmi]

You almost made me cry with this comment.

Thank God for my mother, where would we have been?[/quote


Bro/Sis, 'our' days of crying are over, days I see people talking about their Dad & Mum and all I talk about is my Mum.
Just thank God you have 1
For me, She's the strongest av ever seen.
#ThumbsupMum

How about fathers who're denied access to their kids by their mothers?

Some women are just nutters. And just as there are deadbeat dads - psychotic mothers abound.

Sophyrocks: The society itself encourages irresponsibility in men. So since we have many irresponsible men, then expect many irresponsible fathers. Many men believe in popping out babies but not in caring for them. We are begining to have a lot of sperm donors instead of fathers. A society that believes men are free to cheat, sleep around and have many wives, what do you expect will come out of such a society? Humans will continue to abuse privileges which is why the 'Man must cheat' mantra is everywhere, widely believed and defended like lives depend on it. Married men cheating on their wives like its a virus, expecting that the marriage will remain the same. MISTRESSES NOW BECOME DICTATORS IN THE HOME. Our moral values are low even though we like to pretend its the opposite and compare ourselves with the west. You can imagine married men spending millions on runs babes, building mansions and funding international trips for them, such privileges their family lack. And they will come out and boast of being Heads of their family. and what advice is given to the wives? to bear it all and take over his position to provide for their kids thence encouraging the circle of irresponsibility. Ridiculous!! No wonder the shout for submission from women is very loud.

There is so much emphasis on the training of the girl child to be good wives but nothing is usually said of training boys to be good husbands and fathers. That is why we are in this mess. What is the point of concentrating so much on raising good wives who will be good mothers if we are having more and more irresponsible men becoming irresponsible fathers? are we saying good wives dnt deserve good husbands? Are we saying children do not deserve good fathers?? this belief of men being free to do whatever they want is causing more dysfunctional homes. As you can see, many young men have irresponsible fathers as evident in the comments in this thread. Before you know it, it becomes a circle. some will learn not to repeat the mistakes of their fathers while others will follow their examples. Now they wonder why youths of now have low morals. Irresponsible men with bad lifestyles become bad examples to their kids. And it goes on like a circle. Poor training of men+low morals+bad parenting〓more and more dysfunctional children and homes.

Married men should learn to stick to their wives. Having children comes with responsibility. Being the head isnt about beating your chest and shouting submission submission submission. Its about responsibilities!! all parents should endeavor to train their boy child with diligence. Fathers should try to be role models to their sons so that this circle of irresponsibility passed from generation to generation can be stopped. Its shameful please.

Lovely post.

Boye94: I av a father in my Mother.

i lyk tat.

geeudy: my dad is the best, even if my mum earns more than him, he still finds a way to make sure we're fine.

damn i wudnt want ma wive to earn modan me....bat if it doz is ol gud.

Sophyrocks: The society itself encourages irresponsibility in men. So since we have many irresponsible men, then expect many irresponsible fathers. Many men believe in popping out babies but not in caring for them. We are begining to have a lot of sperm donors instead of fathers. A society that believes men are free to cheat, sleep around and have many wives, what do you expect will come out of such a society? Humans will continue to abuse privileges which is why the 'Man must cheat' mantra is everywhere, widely believed and defended like lives depend on it. Married men cheating on their wives like its a virus, expecting that the marriage will remain the same. MISTRESSES NOW BECOME DICTATORS IN THE HOME. Our moral values are low even though we like to pretend its the opposite and compare ourselves with the west. You can imagine married men spending millions on runs babes, building mansions and funding international trips for them, such privileges their family lack. And they will come out and boast of being Heads of their family. and what advice is given to the wives? to bear it all and take over his position to provide for their kids thence encouraging the circle of irresponsibility. Ridiculous!! No wonder the shout for submission from women is very loud.

There is so much emphasis on the training of the girl child to be good wives but nothing is usually said of training boys to be good husbands and fathers. That is why we are in this mess. What is the point of concentrating so much on raising good wives who will be good mothers if we are having more and more irresponsible men becoming irresponsible fathers? are we saying good wives dnt deserve good husbands? Are we saying children do not deserve good fathers?? this belief of men being free to do whatever they want is causing more dysfunctional homes. As you can see, many young men have irresponsible fathers as evident in the comments in this thread. Before you know it, it becomes a circle. some will learn not to repeat the mistakes of their fathers while others will follow their examples. Now they wonder why youths of now have low morals. Irresponsible men with bad lifestyles become bad examples to their kids. And it goes on like a circle. Poor training of men+low morals+bad parenting〓more and more dysfunctional children and homes.

Married men should learn to stick to their wives. Having children comes with responsibility. Being the head isnt about beating your chest and shouting submission submission submission. Its about responsibilities!! all parents should endeavor to train their boy child with diligence. Fathers should try to be role models to their sons so that this circle of irresponsibility passed from generation to generation can be stopped. Its shameful please.

Utter nonsense!

How come in western societies where the system actually gives women undue advantage over men, the women are the ones chasing the men away? They'd rather just make babies and be single mothers, than compromise for family. And I'm not alluding to "hoodrats" here, I'm talking about real professionals who have all chased their husbands away.

Most men want to be good fathers, however, most women are just a pain in the ar.se. Its always about playing the blame game with women. And till women start taking responsibilities for some of their actions - the cycle is never going to change.

Orikinla: They breed demonic and lunatic kidnappers, terrorists and other criminals who should never have been born in the first place.

dont conclude that way bro, even the ones with both parents does same crime you mentioned

NA GOD.

Georgematics: I am a perfect example of d offspring of an irresponsible Dad, though he didn't run away wit a mistress but he gave up his total life to liquor and spends his last dime on beer. now the end result is me working 7-5 while my mates are in school and the salary keeps getting drown in family problems while my 3 kid sisters are easy preys because in life we all need something's to keep life balance and only with money can we afford them. May God grant Mum d strength to carry on. and pls my fellow men, don't just take advantage of the girls you see on the streets because it not their fault but dat of a dysfunctional families. God help us all.

men i rily fil ur plight....it obvious tat ur d first son whch coms wif much responsibility.....may God gv u d strength to cari on....bat ma questn is dz wat culd mk ur dad b a drunkard? addiction or there is actuali somfin boderin him? no direspect thou....

I do not agree poverty is a major reason why we have an increasing number of irresponsible dads. Often times, people say the poor has found sex to be their source of leisure which I have no problems with nonetheless, when you know you do not have the wherewithal to raise a family (spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, etc); then you have no business putting a woman in the family way.
I have seen figure head fathers around I understand what it means when people talk about them.

Eleganza33: Bw cn he b ex did ur mum remari.of cox u lus respect 4 such fada,jus lyk me

NO, my mum did not re-marry up till now, she doesnt need it, she already have us as her husband but its the way i see him thats why i said, he is my ex-father.

SirShymex:

Utter nonsense!

How come in western societies where the system actually gives women undue advantage over men, the women are the ones chasing the men away? They'd rather just make babies and be single mothers, than compromise for family. And I'm not alluding to "hoodrats" here, I'm talking about real professionals who have all chased their husbands away.

Most men want to be good fathers, however, most women are just a pain in the ar.se. Its always about playing the blame game with women. And till women start taking responsibilities for some of their actions - the cycle is never going to change.

So what point are you trying to make here? i am talking about Nigeria. The Op is clearly talking about Nigeria. what responsibilities are you talking about? AS A HUMAN WITH CHILDREN, WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM BEING A RESPONSIBLLE FATHER? Are you to be told or is a woman to influence you before you know you are supposed to be a good father?

wellmax: Being a father is more than just fathering a child

very true,i totally agree wit u

dasparrow:

How do you know this? Have you considered husbands who married their wives when they were not rich but as soon as they became wealthy, they began to carry girls up and down the place, spending money on mistresses while neglecting the needs of his wife and children. How is this the wife's fault? What of husbands who start off being good but then change the minute their wife starts birthing only female children? What of husbands who are serial cheats regardless of how good their wives are and abandon their responsibilities to their wives only? What of husbands who allowed their mothers wreck havoc in their marriages and they stopped providing for their children? Let's face it, Nigeria is filled with irresponsible fathers and that is why our society is getting messier and messier by the day.

this is the case of my father (now my ex-father).

jerryjere: I luv ur trend it makes sense but whay about if the man is doing well for the family then suddenly things change the man is no longer able to performed is duty as a man what we you call that pls enlightened me

It is not the inability to provide for his family that makes him irresponsible rather, it is how he managed the situation when things went down that matters. It is normal that there could be twist in life however, we should learn to act in a responsible way and hope for a better tomorrow.

For instance, my dad lost his job when SAP was implemented and pending when he got another, he supported my mum's business and even after he got a job, he still supported and that was the very reason why we all supported the business and it paid up for us as a family. That in it self is an act of responsibility.

tintingz:
Lol, as if some monogamous fathers are any better.

I'm brought up in a polygamy home and my father is responsible and caring.

monogamy does not conclude that a man is responsible, study shows that a polygamous family man is more faithful than monogamous husband.

Can you provide a link to such studies to help us learn better.

fellis: Lovely post.

Thanks.

Sophyrocks:
So what point are you trying to make here? i am talking about Nigeria. The Op is clearly talking about Nigeria. what responsibilities are you talking about? AS A HUMAN WITH CHILDREN, WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM BEING A RESPONSIBLLE FATHER? Are you to be told or is a woman to influence you before you know you are supposed to be a good father?

Well, you and the OP need to always add, "In Nigeria" next time you lot make sweeping generalisations about men.

I'm sorry I don't know how Nigeria operates, that isn't my experience...from my experience, most of the women who cry about deadbeat dads are scandalous imps.

My Dad and Mum should be the first to be arrested! Much love to my Grandma

Nobleval: Well...I don't know what to say. Most fathers can be seen as irresponsible. Now looking at it from the Op perspective...your article is talking about poor Dads who spend the little they earn on concubines and their bastards...you see them as irresponsible because their wives are 'housewives' thereby leaving the legitimate kids at the mercy of fate.


Hmmm lets see...what will you call the rich Dads that take care of their family...and on the other hand has a second "family"? Responsible?...if yes..because they have money? {thereby giving them the right to reap where they sowed in the future?} being responsible is not about having MONEY to cater for the family {all hands are not equal} which the Op seems to be hitting on.
There are other ways a father can be a responsible personality to his family.....

Op's point is very clear. Irresponsible fathers regardless of either they are ok financially or not ,they would always shark in their responsibilities. Coming down to what you said, a father that's wealthy and takes good care of his family,though he keeps another illegal family outside: Provided this man takes care of his legal family properly, I don't see him bad. Even for the fact that few religion accepts polygamous family,I personally don't see anything bad in it.

Offspring of irresponsible fathers are always labored mentally and even socially. They don't normally live normal at every point of their life. They most times feel inferior and are always defeated. They often come up with negative and incredible behaviors.
The only saving grace is if a sincere and a good Samaritan comes their way, they may live a normal life...
My advise is this: Any man who knows he's not financially capable even to feed his mouth should not try to add marriage so as not to compound issues.

A popular Yoruba axiom says,' Omo ta a ko ,oun lo ma gbe ile ti a ko ta'. (A child that lacks home training is likely to drag the family's name in mod'.)

Producing child is as easy as ABC, but to raise it ,is as hard as coconut' Men beware!

dasparrow:

How do you know this? Have you considered husbands who married their wives when they were not rich but as soon as they became wealthy, they began to carry girls up and down the place, spending money on mistresses while neglecting the needs of his wife and children. How is this the wife's fault? What of husbands who start off being good but then change the minute their wife starts birthing only female children? What of husbands who are serial cheats regardless of how good their wives are and abandon their responsibilities to their wives only? What of husbands who allowed their mothers wreck havoc in their marriages and they stopped providing for their children? Let's face it, Nigeria is filled with irresponsible fathers and that is why our society is getting messier and messier by the day.

GBAM!!! lovely post.

One thing that always comes to my mind is that our fore-fathers are more sensible than most of us that we call ourselves elite. For instance, my patternal grandpa married 18 wives, and 48 children, but he used them to facilitate his business ventures - farming.

He had huge farmland and he has no choice than to use his numerous children and wives for harvesting whenever the needs arise. And none of them can never complain of hunger or lack of care in the sense that there will always be enough and much was not spent on educational activities as at then.

See what is happening in Naija now: unless those in the villages, it is glaring that 75% of your salary if not more than that are being spent on your children's upkeep - education, health, food, clothes, books, etc and we keep breeding like a pig despite the fact that this children contribute little or no source of income to us unlike our forefathers and the subsequent effect of this action is what we are experiencing today in our society. Go to big cities and northern part of this country and you will understand what I mean.

My advise for youth of nowadays is that we must not bite more than what we can chew in consideration of the economic situation of this country. Afterall, a good farmers should always be proud of the quality of his products and not the quantity

Irresponsible fathers! The cause of tremendous increase in population in northern part of Nigeria.