Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,126 members, 7,953,482 topics. Date: Thursday, 19 September 2024 at 05:05 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard (79996 Views)
15 Most Hilarious Nigerian Starter Packs / Checkout The Most Hilarious Adverts Ever Put Out....lol! / Nairalander Narrates Robbery Scare At His House In The Most Hilarious Manner (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (14) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by EMEKA1MILLION(m): 6:04am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Fight between my siblings... Boy-senseless Fat cow Girl- useless tall broom stick Boy - foolish fat born fool Girl- stupid he goat will be sagging with dirty boxers.. Na only for food u dey get sense Boy- #slap Girl- slapsbback with tears, Na only my body u dey get power #oya make i go separate fight... I love those kids 18 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Larrylarex(m): 6:32am On Aug 14, 2014 |
If an Ibadan girl insults you, you'll nearly cry because they have a way of putting flavour in their insults. Something like: Olori kolobo bi kongo rodo (round head like a measurement bowl for pepper)! A guy was insulting a lady that had wet lips on and he was like: Ki ni n se'le yi to ri bi e'n t'enu b'ororo! (Said the girl lips are like she dipped them in vegetable oil) 9 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by njiaka(f): 6:33am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Educated illiterate, said by one of my lecturer |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by haulagehandlers(m): 6:39am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Yomieluv: A lecturer then in school- you are a Bongotea,whatever that means. Bongo is a coffee in the 80s,when you finish boiling it you have to filter the dirt to drink it.........I THINK THE INSULT THERE IS THAT YOU ARE FULL OF IDOTI..... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Nobody: 6:40am On Aug 14, 2014 |
God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are Satan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.13 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Jennifer89(f): 6:44am On Aug 14, 2014 |
when i was called a Porcupine ma siblings just couldn't help but laughed. |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by davdandam(m): 6:47am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Had a slim friend with big head, he got in a fight and they called him lollipop j almost died laughing lol 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Dreyl(m): 6:55am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Agybabe: Even fools marvel at your foolishnessreally |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Jiteshell(f): 6:58am On Aug 14, 2014 |
From a lecturer to me "the cap on your head is making air not to enter your brain" 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Twistone(m): 7:00am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Ur thinking rate is inversely proportional to ur height.......talking to a tall guy 2 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Emmybreezy(m): 7:00am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Wen they are like grow up and u grown already |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Trizyd(m): 7:04am On Aug 14, 2014 |
i dont know why you like advertising your foolishness |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by adorable29(f): 7:19am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Just last week, my class mate who wasn't following in a mathematics course told my lecturer "Sir, I don't understand. Pls come again"......... His reply (in thick igbo accent), "Shut up dia, any fool will easily understand this! Unless ofcourse you are bombaaastic fool" The whole class burst laff! 7 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Nobody: 7:19am On Aug 14, 2014 |
melchuksky: Mad cow....***haha someone's name 2 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Nobody: 7:22am On Aug 14, 2014 |
U are an educated illiterate-1of my guy at secondary school person-nairaland oloshi-Yoruba (tho I don't realy knw its meaning |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by balash(m): 7:25am On Aug 14, 2014 |
lepasharon: I actually heard it on this forum: 'The only thing positive about you is your HIV status...Damn ! You 'heard' something u are viewing? U probably viewing thiss topic with ur ear again abi..lol funny lady 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by YoungDaNaval(m): 7:27am On Aug 14, 2014 |
! Lek's. 5 Likes |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by adorable29(f): 7:28am On Aug 14, 2014 |
trukoments: God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are Satan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.13 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck. Why evils na! |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by chimaobikanu(m): 7:28am On Aug 14, 2014 |
In those day's, my brother always say "my mama raised no fool baby, so where are you from?". He also use to say "stop reasoning through your anus and for once, make use of your brain!" and the most annoying of them all "i've told you to stop holding up fart, cause it travels back to the brain and that's where shitty ideas come from!". Lol 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Nobody: 7:29am On Aug 14, 2014 |
You are a Bucking Fastard 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by YoungDaNaval(m): 7:30am On Aug 14, 2014 |
When a Chick Called Me an Unbreast Feeded Maggot! |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by leketones(m): 7:35am On Aug 14, 2014 |
my lab attendant use 2 say ds weneva he's supervisin us during exams nd tym is almost up- a normal human being shld av finishd by now, meanwhile majority re still busy doing it,all of us we jst laff |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by freshness2020: 7:35am On Aug 14, 2014 |
lepasharon: I actually heard it on this forum: 'The only thing positive about you is your HIV status...Damn !Whaaaaaaaat! This got me cracked up. People get bad mouth Oº°˚˚°ºo. .. |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by celeron40(m): 7:37am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Just ask the yorubas....the interpretation of their insults will awe you. |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Nobody: 7:40am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Mine is an insult hurled together with either a ma/sir/aunty/uncle for a person e.g, 'Im very sorry to say ma, u must be a stupid person... Or se kin se pe e tin ya were 'ma'? The most hilarious i recieved was 'e ma binu aunty, sugbon, se mo pe e go? (pardon me aunty, but do u knw u r VERY stupid?).... Chaie! I no fit cry 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by jaryeh(m): 7:41am On Aug 14, 2014 |
chimaobikanu: In those day's, my brother always say "my mama raised no fool baby, so where are you from?". He also use to say "stop reasoning through your anus and for once, make use of your brain!" and the most annoying of them all "i've told you to stop holding up fart, cause it travels back to the brain and that's where shitty ideas come from!". Lol *faints* |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by noah24(m): 7:44am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Handsome muturu........ #my ex to me# |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by profeoo(m): 7:45am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Mine to fwends : Look at the way you are smiling like a catfish! 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by Chanchit: 7:54am On Aug 14, 2014 |
YoungDaNaval: When Ma Mum Called Me An Adopted Son Of a Lesbian! Lwkmd. That's very simple, your mum is a lesbian and your were adopted. 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by YoungDaNaval(m): 7:57am On Aug 14, 2014 |
Chanchit:You Dey Madt. She was only joking! 1 Like |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by jonot: 7:59am On Aug 14, 2014 |
My friend's dad used to tell her "a ma ma ko e bi ile", meaning we keep teaching you like we're building a house. I just cant forget it. |
Re: Most Hilarious Insult U Have Ever Heard by ChiJenyfa(f): 8:01am On Aug 14, 2014 |
aaronson: I told a friend....I don't give a muthaf#ck,you could get your MotherF#ckedThere's nothing hilarious about this. 1 Like |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (14) (Reply)
Laffzzzzzzzz / Pictures Of Tonto Dike Completely N A K E D(this Girl Has Finally Gone Nuts!) / When You Can't Take The Heat In Lagos Anymore
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 38 |