I need an advice urgently…………….

In order not to bore you with long stories………….There was this girl I met while growing up during our lesson days in JSS1, she stays like 3 street to my street and we attended different secondary school….The connection between us flourished immediately and we were so fond of each other even though I never asked her out deep inside us it was as if we were dating (That kind of childish play).

Friends were jealous and always convince me she was not a good girl but I never look back, this continue until we finished secondary school…I asked her out afterwards and she said she cant date me because her parent will not give their consent, moreover they’ve warned her that she shouldn’t marry outside her clan. It was a disappointment that evening, but I never forced it as I don’t want that to jeopardize our relationship………….I tried again after a while, the answer was still NO but our friendship continued just like it was before as if we were dating……………everybody around us believed we were in a relationship, I believed we were in a relationship but she said NO to my advancement.

We both gained admission into different university in the same state, every time am home, she do come over, we spend a lot of quality time together and things were a bit rosy between us…During that time I believed we were in a relationship as we do romance whenever we are alone but NO SEX whatsoever. I never asked her out again afterwards with the aim that we just see how things come up between us.

She do come to visit me in school once in a while but never slept over before and there was no SEX…I had a girlfriend then and I also believe she had someone then but my mind was out of a relationship as she once told me she can never marry outside her clan. The last time I visited her in school, I slept over, we talked about so many things regarding our future and what we want to achieve in life but still yet we never talk about our relationship. It was even a surprise that we didn’t romance or sleep on the same bed till I left that day.

Fast forward to when I graduated from university and went for service, they moved out of our area so I learnt after I came back from service. So many things happened that all my thought was how to get a good job and be someone in life. I have a good and steady relationship so I never bothered to call her again and she never called. My mind was out of her already as she was a no go area relationship wise. I lost her contact in between the line and she never called me too.

I got a Job like four years ago and lost my relationship….my job relocated me to another state, I searched for her on facebook and all social website but she was no where but I was fortunate enough to get her number through someone. I called her up one day and she was surprised told her about my job and her response was that “that organization! That doesn’t know more than sacking people anyhow”….i asked her what she meant and even if they sack people anyhow, she want them to sack me too? We talk for long and in between our discussion, I heard the voice of a baby crying, asked if that was her baby and she said yes…..SHE’S MARRIED.
It was a something else after the call that I had to delete her on my phone as that was the only way to forget about her. I moved on with my life and gave other ladies chance in my life. THANK GOD NOW AM MARRIED TO MY WIFE.

The problem now is, this lady sent me a friend request on facebook lastweek, I accepted, check through her profile to see her family pictures and children. I guess she must have seen mine too as my status is married and my family pictures are on my facebook page.

She called two days after, I was surprised…she asked about my welfare and family and I did same too as she now has two kids, then she said we need to talk about something important and wouldn’t mind if I can call her when am less busy. I promised to call her later in the day after work. I eventually called her later in the evening and her response was not so smooth, we ended the call. She called back later and said she was with her husband eating while I called so she couldn’t relate with me normal. Told her am also with my wife that same period and I don’t think it will be ideal for me to discuss with her for long as my time at home belongs to my wife alone. She ended the call

Over the past one week, she has been calling but I never picked as I don’t have that luxury of time to hear her out most times. Then saw her missed call again yesterday and decided to call her back in the evening. She started crying that what was her offence that I treated her the way I did, I asked how and she said I broke her heart, I made her suffer, she looked for me everywhere, she asked of me but I was no where….i made her go through pains and all sort. Why did I behave that way to her? If she had ever for once told me that she’s no more interested? If we fought before we lost contact………….she was just crying.
I calm her down and asked if we can talk about this tomorrow (today). She said yes and will expect my call. Am confused on how to talk to her in order not to hurt her feelings or make her feel bad.

PLS HOW SHOULD I HANDLE THIS WITHOUT HURTING HER

You can't do anything until she has told you your crime. So ask her what she means by you breaking her heart cos from wat u wrote here, she's d one who broke your heart.

This is dilemma. Some ladies can be dramatic. You are married now, you have a life, a wife and a home! Why should this bother you? You never had something serious from the start and now she claims you left her to suffer?

Personally, I'd advise that you come out straight to her. This is a very sensitive situation. You might have loved her years ago but things have changed now and you must realize that. She is married, and so are you. Please stand firm, don't tell her you never had anything from the start, as this could make you sound cruel. Apologize even though you have done nothing, but please don't give in to her. I smell adultery here and sooner or later, it would happen if you run on this tempo. I'm sure you wouldn't want a married woman to ruin your home. Please cut all ties with her and move on.

Mischief maker. It seems you still have some feelings for her maybe a tiny weeny one because of this i feel you should talk to your wife before you start daydreaming of a long gone past and what could have been. From your story i cannot see how you hurt her don't fall into her trap of tears stop picking her calls,block her on face book and continue to enjoy the wife of your youth. If you must call her tell her you cannot continue with the contact because it seems she wants you to do something about her pains and you have no idea how you can help her direct her steps back to the Lord and her husband for healing.

Do not fall victim to any frustrated married woman. Na she know wetin dey worry her.

LaurelP: You can't do anything until she has told you your crime. So ask her what she means by you breaking her heart cos from wat u wrote here, she's d one who broke your heart.

She came out straight that i dumped her and got married to someone she doesn't love

ruuudboy:

She came out straight that i dumped her and got married to someone she doesn't love

She is the one that chose to get married no one forced her to marry someone she doesn't love i know nostalgia is worrying you but there is nothing you can do. Talk to your wife so you can ground yourself in reality and cut contact.

She is obviously going through a bad marriage and sees your wife's happiness on your facebook, she feels she should have been the one that should have deserved you after all these years. She is dangerous so thread softly.

Tell her how beautiful she looks
Tell it to her that you still care for her a lot, but destiny did not bring you guys together as it was out of your power when you guys separated
Tell her you love your wife very much and how she has helped you by standing by you
Tell her you will always be there for her (but seriously,be careful about this part cos she might use it to come back to you,just be wise)
Tell her how much you would have loved to stay, but you have an appointment (not your wife o,dat will only create instant envy which could lead to destruction)
Get out of there fast, that's all...been there done that!!!

Guy to be frank with Ʋ, to me from ur write up, Ʋ seems to be a straight & deceit guy, and dis is one of δ small/ little issue if not handle properly will live to regret for δ rest of life...
Pls just be straight wit her, bye gone is bye gone, Ʋ are married now & Ʋ are not ready to betray ur wife bcs what ℓ̊ see here is trying to get emotional with Ʋ,women do that when they shed tears and try involve ur wit into ur relationship bcs if she found out later she might think otherwise Ʋ are cheat on her wit ur Ex. Dat Ʋ know really hurts.
Moreover, just be straight abt δ whole thing bcs all this happend for a purpose and remember she is a married woman now- if Ʋ try do her δ same will be done to Ʋr wife...' Same cain will be use on Ʋ' that ℓ̊ believe is life.
Enjoy.

andromida: Mischief maker. It seems you still have some feelings for her maybe a tiny weeny one because of this i feel you should talk to your wife before you start daydreaming of a long gone past and what could have been. From your story i cannot see how you hurt her don't fall into her trap of tears stop picking her calls,block her on face book and continue to enjoy the wife of your youth. If you must call her tell her you cannot continue with the contact because it seems she wants you to do something about her pains and you have no idea how you can help her direct her steps back to the Lord and her husband for healing.

Do not fall victim to any frustrated married woman. Na she know wetin dey worry her.

Thanks for your advice. Sincerely, there's no any iota of feelings again other than just childhood friend.

Presently we are separated by long distance of inter states and i don't even think anytyn is possible again. Just dont want to sound too harsh on her with my response

domwas2: Guy to be frank with Ʋ, to me from ur write up, Ʋ seems to be a straight & deceit guy, and dis is one of δ small/ little issue if not handle properly will live to regret for δ rest of life...
Pls just be straight wit her, bye gone is bye gone, Ʋ are married now & Ʋ are not ready to betray ur wife bcs what ℓ̊ see here is trying to get emotional with Ʋ,women do that when they shed tears and try involve ur wit into ur relationship bcs if she found out later she might think otherwise Ʋ are cheat on her wit ur Ex. Dat Ʋ know really hurts.
Moreover, just be straight abt δ whole thing bcs all this happend for a purpose and remember she is a married woman now- if Ʋ try do her δ same will be done to Ʋr wife...' Same cain will be use on Ʋ' that ℓ̊ believe is life.
Enjoy.

Cheating on my wife is the last thing that will never happen. I told my wife about this girl while we were courting but have not mentioned it to her that she's been calling me

Trouble brewing......

u better cut off anything dat is going on btw d two of u cos u are both married,i'lll advice u to stop communicating with her

LaurelP: You can't do anything until she has told you your crime. So ask her what she means by you breaking her heart cos from wat u wrote here, she's d one who broke your heart.

The hand writing is very clear bro.

@Op. Everybody is reponsible for their destiny and should take the responsibilty for their actions. Don't allow anybody to blame you for anything. That said, please don't get too close to her(she started with tears, which is a huge trap, no sane man will like to hurt a woman who is already crying. She then blamed you for her troubles, which is another huge trap. She wants to put you in confusion and slip into your life while are you are still wondering what's your sin). I repeat, don't get close to her. Married women are the hardest people to get off your neck when they are after you.

Politely remind her , her words and her actions..eg my parent won't give their blessing, she can't marry outside their clan , u been turned down whenever u ask her out...etc etc..then u gat be blunt n truthful with her ...allow her say whatever she want to say..the fact can't be changed now except u still have a sight for her... Bro if u love ur wife n family been truthful n blunt to her will do u good regardless if she will feel bad..u gat be a man ... Goodluck bro if u like go fall my hand ...

Nawa ooo,nawa ooo,haha,nawa ooo


dat lady is devil sent,she said u treated ha badly,tell ha sorry,bt if she tells you dat u guys sud meet becos i knw she wud eventually suggest dat,tell ha shez mad!!mind u,try nt to get close to ha,hurt ha feelings bt don't destroy ur marriage#shikena

Tallesty1: The hand writing is very clear bro.

@Op. Everybody is reponsible for their destiny and should take the responsibilty for their actions. Don't allow anybody to blame you for anything. That said, please don't get too close to her(she started with tears, which is a huge trap, no sane man will like to hurt a woman who is already crying. She then blamed you for her troubles, which is another huge trap. She wants to put you in confusion and slip into your life while are you are still wondering what's your sin). I repeat, don't get close to her. Married women are the hardest people to get off your neck when they are after you.

Rexnegro: Politely remind her , her words and her actions..eg my parent won't give their blessing, she can't marry outside their clan , u been turned down whenever u ask her out...etc etc..then u gat be blunt n truthful with her ...allow her say whatever she want to say..the fact can't be changed now except u still have a sight for her... Bro if u love ur wife n family been truthful n blunt to her will do u good regardless if she will feel bad..u gat be a man ... Goodluck bro if u like go fall my hand ...

Harbosede02: Nawa ooo,nawa ooo,haha,nawa ooo
dat lady is devil sent,she said u treated ha badly,tell ha sorry,bt if she tells you dat u guys sud meet becos i knw she wud eventually suggest dat,tell ha shez mad!!mind u,try nt to get close to ha,hurt ha feelings bt don't destroy ur marriage#shikena

What kind of feelings will i have to someone that is married? I cant even imagine getting close or try to see her. Also i cant betray the trust of my wife nor risk the family am building cos of her

Initially, i thought maybe she needed some kind of help or something but i was confuse when she dropped the bombshell yesterday.....All i was saying was "am sorry for everything" till i told her we should talk tomorrow.

Just looking for a way to set the record straight without hurting her as she has even been calling me since morning but have not pick.

Be careful. Guard your heart. People never crumble in a day... It's a slow fade...

ruuudboy:

Cheating on my wife is the last thing that will never happen. I told my wife about this girl while we were courting but have not mentioned it to her that she's been calling me

If that's δ case Ʋ have to create a good distance btw Ʋ two, bcs frm δ pass relationship Ʋ can't be friends now without emotions arising in future.
She's gonno be a distraction pls keep ur distance...thanks

I smell the beginning of adultery.. Women & tricks. OP, you're married, respect your marriage vows. I'm sure you wouldn't want any other man near your wife. Just be wise & don't fall into her tricks.

Jeezz no disrespect, this your story is a book...have u ever considered writing a book?..

You just have to tread with caution when dealing her because women like her can be very cunning.... The more you give her attention the more she tries to creep back into your life.... Just try to cut off any form of physical contact at the moment and if possible cut off all contacts with her.

Mate, stay away. It's a trap. I mean, yeah there is the nostalgia and all that but if in the past you guys did not cement anything, then I don't see why she should try to rope you in as a part cause of her woes. Boys have grown to become men and as the universe continues to open to us its opportunities and possibilities, it is important that we move with the flow and let the force continue to guide us towards the good things of life. Leave these regretful b-i-t-c-h-e-s alone and let them wallow in the consequences of decisions they made when they thought they were invincible and the world was theirs.

just tell her what you told us here

ammamat: just tell her what you told us here

Oohk.....thankz

Tell her she build her Bleep up wif her own hand. She didn't let you in,will u wait and wait until she changes her mind. No,lesson for the upcoming,no do sakara for the persin u love,2mao is always here but today ends quickly as past. No dulling