Etetejake:


they r truely stndinding on a longer thing. continue jare my luv

thanks dear

Having a conversation, dont know what next to say? Simple- listen hook, contribute, relax..

Listen-
while conversing on a topic she is obviously interested/ engaged in, listen. For example you guys may be discussing on fun, work, school or um....i dunno ebola? You could tease her on how many buckets of salt and water she must have used
or maybe what she does for fun or when bored
an experience that day etc whatever it is listen. You would get your hook points.

HOOK-
using the ebola example
guy- guessing you used a packet of salt

girl- asin i was at home when several calls came in, i had to boil water for the family asap before cooking

guy-(hook family) was there no other person to assist you?

Girl- for where? Apart from my mom my siblings are lazy souls

guy-(hook lazy siblings) reminds of my younger brother i have to force even bribe him to wash his own clothes

girl- lol yours is better no amount of cajoling will convince my sis to help in the kitchen.

Guy-(hook kitchen) lol i cant really cook much now i am hungry.

Girl-lol your loss, who told you not to learn buy bread now.
Guy- ah! As if it is not only indomie you can cook:-D blah blah blah

When you are about to call her for the first time after getting her number not could inform her so that the expects your call.
You could say " hey let us continue this conversation on phone"
babe you are fun i'd like to hear your voice for real.
Etc

After a while You are comfortable. She is comfortable. Let the flirting begin! (if it has not already begun)

Jessyj616:
After a while You are comfortable. She is comfortable. Let the flirting begin! (if it has not already begun)

Please I need your help, it's urgent. I just met this girl on Saturday, I think she's practically into me, we gisted for long(neutral gisting ooo) she requested to give me her number without me asking, I already called her this sunday evening, just to know whatz up with her and for her to get my number. Please I don't want her to slip away like the others have, but I don't know how to go about getting her. Anybody here should suggest steps abeg. I need it badly.

Slyder:
Please I need your help, it's urgent. I just met this girl on Saturday, I think she's practically into me, we gisted for long(neutral gisting ooo) she requested to give me her number without me asking, I already called her this sunday evening, just to know whatz up with her and for her to get my number. Please I don't want her to slip away like the others have, but I don't know how to go about getting her. Anybody here should suggest steps abeg. I need it badly.

My OGAs @ the top, abeg help ooo.

See tutorials.
The of girls I've met so far are claiming to be hooked. So wooing dem is sumtin I'm a little quite recessive about.
I toast you without flinching and you said you've got a guy.
I move on trying to locate the next match and you start trying to make me your friend, this way i become a host and you become parasite. I gain nothing because i dont look like someone you've got an iota of sexual attraction for. Its just sheer waste of valuable time.
I hardly woo girls. I nor get money, but when I get with my skills, they'd be realistically tearing my front door. lol.

@ Slyder
thumbs up.
Ill assume you know the basics cause you did them--
find, interest,invest, reward. Thumbs up once again.

Whatever you did to spike her interest in you . Keep doing it but make it spontaneous not pre meditated. Keep your chats interesting. Maybe give her a cute nickname.


You want her as a girlfriend or something?
Chill, dont ask...you might make her suspicious of your intentions and she might bring up the 'i have a bf shit' just start behaving like her bf.... You can say something like ...dear how are you? ....babe have you eaten?... Where are you now?etc


whatever you do, pls dont dwell on the question of her bf....even if she brings it up, she is probably getting emotionally attached and uses that as a shield....just ignore it or say something that walks around her defences....

Attraction is not a yes or no thing it is all about feelings.

Ask open ended questions. Let her invest also, dont call 10 times a day. any effort on her part can be reward. Be extra caring today and cool the next...#not snubbing oh# ( could say you were busy. You ve got a life outside her right?)
Summarily give as much as she is giving. But encourage her to invest more.
Focus on the process dont rush

Jessyj616:
@ Slyder
thumbs up.
Ill assume you know the basics cause you did them--
find, interest,invest, reward. Thumbs up once again.

Whatever you did to spike her interest in you . Keep doing it but make it spontaneous not pre meditated. Keep your chats interesting. Maybe give her a cute nickname.


You want her as a girlfriend or something?
Chill, dont ask...you might make her suspicious of your intentions and she might bring up the 'i have a bf shit' just start behaving like her bf.... You can say something like ...dear how are you? ....babe have you eaten?... Where are you now?etc


whatever you do, pls dont dwell on the question of her bf....even if she brings it up, she is probably getting emotionally attached and uses that as a shield....just ignore it or say something that walks around her defences....

Can you pls suggest a cute nick name? And yes I want her as a girlfriend. How spontaneous can I call her from now? Called her yesterday and I haven't called her today. Should i call her tonight? Should I always call her in the morning or otherwise?

Slyder:
Can you pls suggest a cute nick name? And yes I want her as a girlfriend. How spontaneous can I call her from now? Called her yesterday and I haven't called her today. Should i call her tonight? Should I always call her in the morning or otherwise?

you could instead send a good night text. Nothing like sleeping with a smile.

For nicknames it depends... Just as you probably carved nicknames for teachers/ mates in school or elsewhere and no two pple had the same nick... Same way make it unique to her.
A friend of mine was nicknamed 'pepperoyoyo' cause she is fair and a bit troublesome lol

Slyder:
Can you pls suggest a cute nick name? And yes I want her as a girlfriend. How spontaneous can I call her from now? Called her yesterday and I haven't called her today. Should i call her tonight? Should I always call her in the morning or otherwise?

you could instead send a good night text. Nothing like sleeping with a smile.

For nicknames it depends... Just as you probably carved nicknames for teachers/ mates in school or elsewhere and no two pple had the same nick... Same way make it unique to her.
A friend of mine was nicknamed 'pepperoyoyo' cause she is fair and a bit troublesome lol
sorry bad network

Any more questions? If yes, ask away. If not, brb.

Jessyj616:
Any more questions? If yes, ask away. If not, brb.

How often can I call her? And should the calls be just
Her: Hello
Me: Hi babe watzup
Her: notin much, just here and you.
Me: Cool. How was the day hope you had fun?
Her: not really, was kindda boring tho.
Me: oo I see ....
Please add more convo to this because I fumble a lot during phone calls.
And again should I be thinking about seeing her again already. If not, how soon should that come?

Nice thread, but I don't know why some dudes are derisive, they can't appreciate a write up, if its not of importance to you people are ready to take some tips from it

jrerico1:
Nice thread, but I don't know why some dudes are derisive, they can't appreciate a write up, if its not of importance to you people are ready to take some tips from it

tanks jawe .

Jessyj616:


dear fisherman,

i'd also appreciate your help on this thread.

Yours fishfully,

this piece got me lol.

to look good before you approach a girl does not mean , i pnce woo a girl with a underwear. lolz

Focus on the process not the end game.

Establish some sort of rapport with her.
I repeat,for a girl, attraction is emotional not logical. Hence, you can never overuse this line 'how did that make you feel?'
you could also make use of repetitions and hooking

listen actively, so you know what points she is consciously or unconsciously hammering on or avoiding.

Eg guy- how was work today?
Girl-stressful
guy-stressful? How?
Girl-my co-worker did this or did that,....
Guy-she did? How did that make you feel?
Girl-annoyed because i.... blah blahblah

continue as the spirit leads.....if the topic becomes boring switch to other light topics like what she is going to be cooking.

Rapport makes her sees you as her boyfriend without you even asking. So, dont skip it

Slyder:
How often can I call her? And should the calls be just
Her: Hello
Me: Hi babe watzup
Her: notin much, just here and you.
Me: Cool. How was the day hope you had fun?
Her: not really, was kindda boring tho.
Me: oo I see ....
Please add more convo to this because I fumble a lot during phone calls.
And again should I be thinking about seeing her again already. If not, how soon should that come?

you could call her in the mornings around 9am s afternoons maybe around 2-5pm

as for the conversation. Girl-hello
guy-hi babe, watsup
girl-nothing much, just here and you?
guy-cool, how was your day? Hope you had fun?
Girl-not really was kinda boring tho
guy-boring?....so if you had magical powers what would you do with it right now?
Girl-hmmm... .well...i'd like to blah blahblah

guy-(depending on her reply you could hook on a point and continue from there or... Tease her) wow...you seem fun are you the middle born or something.....you dont look like a last born to me tho #smiles#
girl-nooo...i am the second of five children
guy-five?...would you also like to give birth to five?
Girl-:-O no way three is ok for me
guy-thank God....me too ...so you have THREE siblings,arent they a handful
girl-yes they are but theses is nothing one can do about it unless you want to get roasted by mum
guy-yeah...tell me about it...hey...i like the way you say that word
girl-which word? Mum?
Guy-nah...roasted...say it again.
Girl-roasted? Lols you are not serious whats special about it
guy-its the way your lips curl when you say it ....damn you should smile more it makes you look more beautiful....yeah... Just like that

continue as the spirit leads. You could go back to the previous topic or switch

Jessyj616:


you could call her in the mornings around 9am s afternoons maybe around 2-5pm

as for the conversation. Girl-hello
guy-hi babe, watsup
girl-nothing much, just here and you?
guy-cool, how was your day? Hope you had fun?
Girl-not really was kinda boring tho
guy-boring?....so if you had magical powers what would you do with it right now?
Girl-hmmm... .well...i'd like to blah blahblah

guy-(depending on her reply you could hook on a point and continue from there or... Tease her) wow...you seem fun are you the middle born or something.....you dont look like a last born to me tho #smiles#
girl-nooo...i am the second of five children
guy-five?...would you also like to give birth to five?
Girl-:-O no way three is ok for me
guy-thank God....me too ...so you have THREE siblings,arent they a handful
girl-yes they are but theses is nothing one can do about it unless you want to get roasted by mum
guy-yeah...tell me about it...hey...i like the way you say that word
girl-which word? Mum?
Guy-nah...roasted...say it again.
Girl-roasted? Lols you are not serious whats special about it
guy-its the way your lips curl when you say it ....damn you should smile more it makes you look more beautiful....yeah... Just like that

continue as the spirit leads. You could go back to the previous topic or switch

you are smart....so you could always twist that convo to match the circumstances.
What i want you to get from there is that the guy above started from her day.... to her family.. ..to her lips
that is switching hooking, teasing, subtle flirting, rolled in one. Hope it was ok, gud luck

Yes you can start thinking about a date with her. But pls make sure you have a good enough rapport with her on phone first

Mightyguy:
;-) :-/ Lolzz...Actually, u must be d sh*rp type;..Followin ur post 4rm day 1...Hw cum u knew al dis??!**

lols...you answered your own question

JESSY!
How do you know, if a girl really likes or care abt u?

Kodext:
JESSY!
How do you know, if a girl really likes or care abt u?

there are different types of girls hence different ways.
She could be giving you preferential treatment.
At times it could be more subtle like she just stares at you when she believes you arent looking. Quickly responds your chats etc
All in all there is no fool proof formula. You just know.
Most importantly do you like the girl? If yes start the techniques already

just found this post today. I don't really visit much of the romance, girl - boy sections of NL but going thru this one was great. thanks to Jessy..
Now I'll be brief.

Jess.. i wudav wanted to get yur social ID so i culd talk this over in private but since you'll prolly think its one of d attempts at chyking you, I ll put my problem down here.
First off, Im a guy. not to blow my trumpet or stuff but im really cute, dress well, funny (wen im in a gud mood), witty, intelligent and my spoken and written English is nearly flawless most times. Basically i have what most guys think are the prerequisites to getting girls. Now here is d crack in the mirror, Im an introvert.. im not outspoken. I don't exactly know but I think I'm a mixture of shy and a little bit proud (yeah. i know. I'm tryna change tho). And then comes the fact that I'm like Jesse Jags (barely enough skin to cover my internals, not to talk of being heft or macho) and that kinda puts a dent in some things.
When I was younger, I was used to girls coming around me and stuff and that made me relax. Till I got to the Uni, I never really had to chyke or block or toast anyone in my life.. ever! But I still had d hottest dates.
Now I'm in my 3rd yr in d University, wuld b graduating come next year and obviously, things aren't what they were now I'm out of my comfort zone and in d real world. The last date I had was d one I had in my pre-degree before gaining admission.. that's 3yrs ago.
Now I'm not talking about getting sex mates and stuff. that's not my prob. I'm talking abt a date I could actually be with, go places with and do stuff with, without the person wanting to just sleep around and request t-fare home.
I ve only been able to ask one girl out in all the 3yrs and she tried to initiate that friendzone ish, so I walked.
I think I'm scared of being said No to by girls (im not very used to it, maybe it's part of d pride) so I don't even try, except it's online... I'm very bold wen I'm not talking to d person face to face, but when communication becomes direct, I become a shadow of my former self.
At this stage, I still can't walk up to a girl and toast her or stuff and it's no longer funny. As my frnd wud tell me, "Precious you just dey waste your fine boy. I no know why God dey always give things to people who no need am".
Even the ones I have dia number, to call them is wahala. I'm too self conscious of what I say and how they'll interpret it that i end up not saying anything at all and pass off as boring.
Any sort of help rendered would b appreciated a lot.

ThePrekky:
just found this post today. I don't really visit much of the romance, girl - boy sections of NL but going thru this one was great. thanks to Jessy..
Now I'll be brief.

Jess.. i wudav wanted to get yur social ID so i culd talk this over in private but since you'll prolly think its one of d attempts at chyking you, I ll put my problem down here.
First off, Im a guy. not to blow my trumpet or stuff but im really cute, dress well, funny (wen im in a gud mood), witty, intelligent and my spoken and written English is nearly flawless most times. Basically i have what most guys think are the prerequisites to getting girls. Now here is d crack in the mirror, Im an introvert.. im not outspoken. I don't exactly know but I think I'm a mixture of shy and a little bit proud (yeah. i know. I'm tryna change tho). And then comes the fact that I'm like Jesse Jags (barely enough skin to cover my internals, not to talk of being heft or macho) and that kinda puts a dent in some things.
When I was younger, I was used to girls coming around me and stuff and that made me relax. Till I got to the Uni, I never really had to chyke or block or toast anyone in my life.. ever! But I still had d hottest dates.
Now I'm in my 3rd yr in d University, wuld b graduating come next year and obviously, things aren't what they were now I'm out of my comfort zone and in d real world. The last date I had was d one I had in my pre-degree before gaining admission.. that's 3yrs ago.
Now I'm not talking about getting sex mates and stuff. that's not my prob. I'm talking abt a date I could actually be with, go places with and do stuff with, without the person wanting to just sleep around and request t-fare home.
I ve only been able to ask one girl out in all the 3yrs and she tried to initiate that friendzone ish, so I walked.
I think I'm scared of being said No to by girls (im not very used to it, maybe it's part of d pride) so I don't even try, except it's online... I'm very bold wen I'm not talking to d person face to face, but when communication becomes direct, I become a shadow of my former self.
At this stage, I still can't walk up to a girl and toast her or stuff and it's no longer funny. As my frnd wud tell me, "Precious you just dey waste your fine boy. I no know why God dey always give things to people who no need am".
Even the ones I have dia number, to call them is wahala. I'm too self conscious of what I say and how they'll interpret it that i end up not saying anything at all and pass off as boring.
Any sort of help rendered would b appreciated a lot.

pride could be a good thing when it shows confidence, but disastrous when its turned to snubby.
Are you one of those who join fellow guys to insult other girls eg look at her she no even get backyard etc and other vulgar things which are funny but painful to the intended? If yes.... You might want to stop but if not read on

ill suggest you try initiating conversation with people whom you are not necessarily interested in it could be sisters,relations, course mates or in the bus, when involved in group work etc till you overcome that shyness.
Might i add that live your life with fun. Mix with friends, if you've got an opinion-voice it, be free minded the fact that you fail doesnt mean you should quit it means LAUGH LEARN LIVE ON

ejones144:
[/colorHaving relational problems? Speak with a clairvoyant about it. No charges or fees,, just the wise counsel of an empathic friend.
Add me on 7F2B25D8.

"There's no such time as now to find peace and love, but the simple and unwise will tumble over what fate has brought them"

Joe[color=#000099]

good.... Why not start by answering the relational questions on this thread?

Jessyj616:


pride could be a good thing when it shows confidence, but disastrous when its turned to snubby.
Are you one of those who join fellow guys to insult other girls eg look at her she no even get backyard etc and other vulgar things which are funny but painful to the intended? If yes.... You might want to stop but if not read on

ill suggest you try initiating conversation with people whom you are not necessarily interested in it could be sisters,relations, course mates or in the bus, when involved in group work etc till you overcome that shyness.
Might i add that live your life with fun. Mix with friends, if you've got an opinion-voice it, be free minded the fact that you fail doesnt mean you should quit it means LAUGH LEARN LIVE ON

nah. I don't involve myself in such talk. Wetin concern me concern a girl's backside. I just need d person to be awesome facially. However I'll start talking with ppl I may not ve interest in , ike you said, cos I don't do that a lot.
Thanks for d help, I appreciate, but I've kinda read some of d oda things you said in my course of online surfing. I'd very much love a step by step guide to tackling d situation from a Nigerian's first hand perspective who knows how situations are over here, not all these general stuff I read that may apply over there but not here. Something like the type you gave these guys before me

[quote author=Jessyj616 post=27817531]Part 2- when you want to approach her increase your steps so you are in step with her (not too obviously of course) then say hi. Simple! And for heavens sake dont follow up with ' i am gbenga (or wateva) wats yours' it works sometimes and other times it doesnt. to avoid clipped responses from her dont ask. You can say. guy- i see you around but i wasnt sure you lived around here but today i couldnt stop myself. Girl-( slows down her walking) y? Guy- you were looking exceptionally...um(brush your eyes down her dress but dont linger) looking good no good looking no beautiful girl-smiles(tanks) guy- my name is gbenga so until i get your name i will call you grace girl- why grace? Guy-because you are graceful in your walk you have got a natural leap in them girl- (gigglesme




men u too much, BT ve u seen some gals dat ll gives u date hear, or they ll tell u na grammar I won jorpe

pls I need an Advice, can u stay with a lady dat broke up wit Ur elder brother? this is d real story, this lady brokeup wit my bro, an she naw pack out of d House, b4 both of us don't normally agree, BT immidetelly she left both of us now bcame friend, and she ask me to look for house for her, and now we ve finally rents d house, she said I ll be staying wit her so she gave me d spare key, BT suddenly she started going out wit a guy dat she drop b4 meeting my bro, wat should I do nw