mployer:


But some of you find it difficult to believe girlfriends are tilted towards the wife axis, than just friends.



Just saying

This isn't a gender based argument, please let's not lose sight of that. We're trying to establish if people have a right to expect more from those they are in a relationship with.

jmoore:

I can't beg any girl to give me money or material things.


Can we say no country is really independent because every country imports something?

Is dependence only money wise? What about ideas, love, commitment, care etc?

What if tomorrow things go south, will you not require help?

Even God needs us humans to praise Him.

Ordinarily, every woman still end up under a man's roof, so it might depend on what you mean by "Independent" cos women from the beginning of Time must depend on Men. God didn't make Adam for Eve, he made Eve for Adam..

When women scream gender equality, Marginalisation, I just laff at them..

I read one Omotola Jalade Ekehide's article and I was glad a woman could reason like she did..
If u ask me, that's the kind of woman I'l take for an independent lady, provided u know ur role is to be second to the man, your role is for support and the man is still got the final say..

Women can say whatever, but the truth is.. Its a man's World.

Adam was created before Eve. Kapish.

jmoore:
This topic was inspired by another thread. Independent is not the problem but being greedy.
So if your bf has two private jets, would you complain he didn't give you one of the jets?

Why don't you leave greed and deal with the question of independence first eh?

Caracta:
An independent woman can live her life without the help of anyone. She is hardworking and likes to fix things herself.

Dad brought me up that way! Even most times when he repairs the generator or does some carpentry works , I've gotta be by his side.

Sometimes when any repairer comes to do some work and I tend to know a bit of what they do na so dem go dey look me one kind eye I go come change dey act like mumu wey no know anything, they will then relax.

most guys want a damsel in distress! They want you to need them or something! They see you as too full of oneself! So sometimes I just fake that I need them at that point in time so there will be peace


I don't know!

bukatyne:


Is dependence only money wise? What about ideas, love, commitment, care etc?

What if tomorrow things go south, will you not require help?

Even God needs us humans to praise Him.

She should be contented with what she got.
Some guys like me ain't spending till marriage. That's our precaution to get rid of girls who see relationship as a job opportunity.

UjSizzle:

And herein lies our problem: Limiting people to only the financial benefits they avail us. Humans aren't capital expenditures, they are people with varying strengths. If you really buy into what you've just said now, then why shouldn't a woman stay interested in only men who have monetary worth? Why do men feel so bad when she leaves for lack of financial gain? Does it make the man a liability too?

You need to stop limiting yourself to certain things. If as a woman my major interest in a man was that he met my emotional needs, then his financial abilities would only serve as a plus. If he is unable to meet that need for whatever reason, save for providing money, then he is of no use to me. This is why I say no woman is a liability; you just haven't identified her as the sort of asset you need.

Hmm. I haven't seen a self sufficient man call a jobless but prudent and caring woman 'liability.'

DailyNews:
ya, no man is independent for sure but not dependent on women (rather men depend on their fellow men), whereas majority of women are dependent on men, that's d difference

And men don't want their women for support? To be there when the going gets tough? To serve as their anchors? If that isn't dependence, I don't know what is.

Misogynist2014:
Hmm. I haven't seen a self sufficient man call a jobless but prudent and caring woman 'liability.'

Which is why I keep telling men here not to limit themselves to career women. If they think that's how much of an asset a woman should be, then some of them to leave their homes before they even have the chance to build it.

UjSizzle:

Why don't you leave greed and deal with the question of independence first eh?

But it was greed that inspired this thread.

Talking about independence, when woman needs money from him it is "spending" but when the man needs money from her it is "lending".

freecocoa:
Oh really? You depend on fellow men to be your wife/girlfriend and give you everything that comes with the territory?14 years dey wait you o , even if you are gay, you still depend on your partner.

The point I'm trying to make is that, men and women depend on each other, it is only when money's involved that you hear men screaming blue murder.

Ese jare. Everything is just restricted to money today; even from people who have no financial worth, but are scared they won't have sense enough to preserve it when money comes knocking.

I say men and women are interdependent. If you're afraid your money will go down the drain, then find a prudent woman. She might not be making so much for herself, nor have a job, but she's a good financial manager. With her you have nothing to fear.

If you restrict yourself to how much she can make for herself, how does that even guarantee a happy relationship?

Men need to wise up, seriously!

jmoore:

But it was greed that inspired this thread.

Talking about independence, when woman needs money from him it is "spending" but when the man needs money from her it is "lending".

And who's to say it's greed?
Just because people are so used to lying to themselves, doesn't mean some aren't okay with expressing their disappointment.
When you walk into a relationship of any kind, you do so with expectations. They aren't always met, and you rationalize and tell yourself why you have no right to be upset. But you were upset! And the simple fact that you had that emotional reaction establishes that people are responsible for one another; and to a greater degree when they make commitment of any sort to each other.

So yes, a bf-gf relationship isn't so different from an actual marriage....with the exception of legal documents. If it were, then we wouldn't have people breaking up for emotional reasons all the time, and many others using it as their basis of choosing a spouse.

I was here

Do independent women really exist? If yes, please give local examples otherwise you're talking *********

Caracta:


Ok. I get your point now. People are different. Some people think they (alone) are responsible for whatever befalls them. To those people, they are not bothered about disappointments because they've probably had so many.

Throwing love back doesn't mean vengeance. It's just a way to accept that you need to move on because your partner is either selfish or insensitive. It could be a sign.

Again, people are different. If you feel a boyfriend/girlfriend owes you, fine and good. You must have done something to earn that privilege.

Going into a relationship with them is reason enough to earn that privilege.

UjSizzle:

And men don't want their women for support? To be there when the going gets tough? To serve as their anchors? If that isn't dependence, I don't know what is.

The word: industrious woman is more sensible/dignifying than “independent woman”.

“Independent woman” is a fallacious phrase created by some presumed proponents of failed feminism campaign.

There's nothing like independent woman because every woman depends on a man financially/materially/intellectually, but not all men are dependent on women financially/materially/intellectually

UjSizzle:

And who's to say it's greed?
Just because people are so used to lying to themselves, doesn't mean some aren't okay with expressing their disappointment.
When you walk into a relationship of any kind, you do so with expectations. They aren't always met, and you rationalize and tell yourself why you have no right to be upset. But you were upset! And the simple fact that you had that emotional reaction establishes that people are responsible for one another; and to a.....

To me bf-gf relationship is very different from marriage. When she becomes my wife then I can give her a blank cheque.

But as a gf, she should be contented with what she got.

DailyNews:
The word: industrious woman is more sensible/dignifying than “independent woman”.

“Independent woman” is a fallacious phrase created by some presumed proponents of failed feminism campaign.

There's nothing like independent woman because every woman depends on a man financially/materially/intellectually, but not all men are dependent on women financially/materially/intellectually

Of course I agree with you about independence being a fallacy. I feel the same way about freedom too.

But where you think men don't depend on women or need them? Nah that's a lie you men tell yourselves to feel powerful and in control

jmoore:

To me bf-gf relationship is very different from marriage. When she becomes my wife then I can give her a blank cheque.

But as a gf, she should be contented with what she got.

I'm assuming you don't have a girl friend then. But in case I'm wrong, you mind telling me why you have one? And if I'm right, mind telling me why you don't have one?

Every man needs a woman with self esteem one that won't sell herself short

There is nothing like independence in a relationship as in one way or the other help must be required and given. What men wants is a woman whom can stand her ground and make things happen not just 4 herself but for the relationship just like the guy, not one that would be a lazy leach and lay claims to the guys belongings like he has put a ring on it

Am not saying a guy should not spend on his girl, am only saying a relationship is a test run to marriage and if he can spend on u and show u he can take care of a family he expects his lady to do so too, not just to sit and leach off him

The word "Independent" does not exist even if it does its just being use for emphasis during comunication for easy apprehension, every living creatures must depend on one another in other to be mutually benefits frm each other which form our ecosystem, directly or indirectly we ar all connected. Quot me wrong

UjSizzle:

Ese jare. Everything is just restricted to money today; even from people who have no financial worth, but are scared they won't have sense enough to preserve it when money comes knocking.

I say men and women are interdependent. If you're afraid your money will go down the drain, then find a prudent woman. She might not be making so much for herself, nor have a job, but she's a good financial manager. With her you have nothing to fear.

If you restrict yourself to how much she can make for herself, how does that even guarantee a happy relationship?

Men need to wise up, seriously!

majority of mature men who have good means of income don't care if a woman has money or not! It is women and their parasitic and greedy lifestyle over time that made some men to start considering a financially productive woman as a best option for marriage...yet, many guys I know don't care but just want a productive lady to ensure she isn't into them outrightly cos of financial gains.

Me, I don't care if she has 1naira or not, but I will be glad if she's from a good family background to ensure that she was well trained and won't turn me into her family's breadwinner cos it hurts to discover that d only reason a woman married u is to help foot her family's bills.

Humility, ability to submit, love for kids, good kitchen skills, good communication skills, good family background, fear of God, respect for men (not just me), respect for elders, always smiling, and being more happy than serious all d time is all what I and many guys I know are looking for in a woman, not her money (peanut money self)

No mind me o

UjSizzle:

I'm assuming you don't have a girl friend then. But in case I'm wrong, you mind telling me why you have one? And if I'm right, mind telling me why you don't have one?

I have never been in a relationship. My mind is focused on marriage and not this 21st century dating stuff. When I am ready for marriage, I will find her and in less than 6 months the wedding is done.

UjSizzle:

Of course I agree with you about independence being a fallacy. I feel the same way about freedom too.

But where you think men don't depend on women or need them? Nah that's a lie you men tell yourselves to feel powerful and in control

lolz, for sure men and women need each other emotionally that one isn't dependence na, aside that one, most men no even need woman in their life

DrJoe1:
independent woman is not real in a domain male & female species cohabit. It is a false/fake ideology by some modern day women whose dreams of being loyal & loved have unfortunately been defiled by circumstances.

I gotta quote you elsewhere

jmoore:

I have never been in a relationship. My mind is focused on marriage and not this 21st century dating stuff. When I am ready for marriage, I will find her and in less than 6 months the wedding is done.

hehe, Jmoore, abeg o, if u don't have enough cash now eh, pls n pls make it a top priority to find a girlfriend o, I am serious cos if u eventually succeed in getting some cash, acquiring good ride/crib and have no existing good girlfriend u can reckon on, my brother u will be confused! In fact, ur name will become confusion cos all ladies u will be meeting will all be forming too angelic that u won't even know who is who again; and its so scary!

So start now o to de find o, dnt wait till d money arrives cos its risky, unless u are ready to stay single for long, though it hurts sometimes wen u see ur mates with their pretty kids, chei

UjSizzle:

This isn't a gender based argument, please let's not lose sight of that. We're trying to establish if people have a right to expect more from those they are in a relationship with.

I have no problem with your argument as long you maintain the same stance when the table turns. When it becomes a question of whether the man should expect a form of assistance from the lady while in a relationship. Lets say I trust you will.



But sincerely many proponents of this your kind of argument tend to get biased when the table turns.

UjSizzle:

Which is why I keep telling men here not to limit themselves to career women. If they think that's how much of an asset a woman should be, then some of them to leave their homes before they even have the chance to build it.

This is what I tag as the 'rhapsody of realities.' I wish to feel like a man by taking care of my woman, but the economic situation makes it look like wishful thinking. I get angry when my female pals say its a man's job to take care of a woman, though no one prays for a 'feminist terrorist,' it sounds appropriate for you to at least 'STAND ON YOUR OWN'

mployer:


I have no problem with your argument as long you maintain the same stance when the table turns. When it becomes a question of whether the man should expect a form of assistance from the lady while in a relationship. Lets say I trust you will.



But sincerely many proponents of this your kind of argument tend to get biased when the table turns.

It works both ways for the sexes. If you want a husband, then be ready to act as a wife too and vice versa.

Lordabas:









An independent woman is just...that woman who can function in her daily life indepently. Hence, without a man, mother, father, family help. A woman who can bring home the bacon and fry it too!
And if a man so happens to come along, he would be lucky to find someone who isn't a needy baby!

Well said Lordabas.

UjSizzle:

It works both ways for the sexes. If you want a husband, then be ready to act as a wife too and vice versa.

ok.

Have a nice time