First I would blame you for acting blindly. You knew he was a womanizer, yet you went ahead to marry him. Anyway, it's never too late; if you still love him, then you can sit him down and tell him to change his present lifestyle because it hurts you badly. But if you feel you're fedup and you want to call it quits, then its up to you to make the decision

dont only dump the guy make sure he is deprted and does not come back with a pin to nigeria. oh and when you are going about it look for his friend to sleep with to his knowledge

namun:

don't only dump the guy make sure he is deprted and does not come back with a pin to nigeria. oh and when you are going about it look for his friend to sleep with to his knowledge

u r a goat,did the poster tell u shes a prostitute?did d man sleep wt her friend?

too formulated to be true.
1st you said you are not Nigerian but your log in id says otherwise.
2nd your topic sounds like you were reporting a story, now its you and finally my advice to you is PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH.
Marriage is a very serious issue which is ordained by GOD.so let us not be in a hurry to fabricate stories in order to make the thread interesting cause with thy mouth you bring forth CURSES OR BLESSINGS

A salient truth is this; men are polygamous in nature. but he fact remains that it is not an excuse to cheat. Really, nobody is a relationship expert or can claim to be perfect. Temptations are always there, but i guess self discipline and God is the answer. Truly, it's not easy, it's not easy at all, not with the provocative way ladies even dress nowadays or clear cut advances they make 2 u, even when they are double sure u are married and sometimes even with kids. Only God can help one.

My advice, stay close to your spouse(as in live in the same house and work in the same town). It doesn't always eliminate flirting but can curb it appreciably.

1luvkipsus:

@Amakaone
Are you married

Why do you ask?

Namun,
I think u are a very cruel person, typical of my people. The lady can always leave him, she doesn`t have to be cruel. Two wrongs don`t make a right. Finish people from my knowledge are not vindictive or church crazy. Unlike we Nigerians who spend so much time going to church and praying yet so evil, people who will not think it wrong to beat someone to death just for stealing. "he without sin cast the first stone"

@Chukwify
Please i am sorry for saying you should kill the cheater. I withdraw that statement and ask for your forgiveness. Please don't kill the man again.

@My Crucifiers
Happy now!

Let him go.

That is his wife in naija taking pics with his parents.

Bear in mind that all men ara same, we women are used to it, it is all God can help us. Amen.

@ bigmodo
u are a sick bachelor. The lady has a husband and a child. She has marital problems and all u cud do is ask her out!
Come where u from?
@ poster
Am sori but u took a wrong step baby. Next time observe before u jump into relationships.
Honestly speaking that 9ja guy is an opportunist. U just got ponked

Young lady,please do NIGERIA a favour by sending the bastard home.Nigerians like that help destroy the image of the country.

praxx:

too formulated to be true.
1st you said you are not Nigerian but your log in id says otherwise.
2nd your topic sounds like you were reporting a story, now its you and finally my advice to you is PLEASE SAY THE TRUTH.
Marriage is a very serious issue which is ordained by GOD.so let us not be in a hurry to fabricate stories in order to make the thread interesting cause with thy mouth you bring forth CURSES OR BLESSINGS

hOW DO YOU KNOW THIS FOR SURE? When my story was told on this same site people opened their mouth saying all sorts of rubbish about how i should sell the story to Nigerian movie makers. YOu were asked for an advice not to do the work of scotland yard dectectives!!! This lady is going through a rough time and all you can say is that she has formulated her story. You think everyone has all the time to sit down and entertain you


@ poster,
Marriage is a long long long walk. I have found myself in positions where i thought i would leave the marriage at the drop of a heart. Believe me my dear sister, you can forgive that man you call your husband. I am heavily pregnant now and my husband cheated on me. I closed my mind to the marriage, but by the time i churned things over, i thougth otherwise. Just read my story on this same family section. I went through hell, saw the devil and came back. I thought it was all over, and that the dark days had gone by. I did not know that there was more waiting for me. I am expecting my 1st baby in 3months, i have a pregnancy induced hypertension. My husband's mobile rang and i picked up a lady said ''honi that was so hot''. My husband had just returned home from ''work''. what would you do if you were in my shoes Tolerance my sister. Be patient with him. sleep in the same bed, have shower together.It is heart breaking. The next day after that call, i had a shower with my husband, and he touched my tummy , we played and joked till he left for work. I never mentioned a word of it to him. Only yesterday, he was late in coming home. I rang the hospital where he works, and was told he left over 2hrs ago. He walked in like 1 hr later and said he just left the hospital.

My dear, cool temper oh!!! Think of your son. He will need his father's presence in his early development. Dont deprive him of it. There is nothing we women cannot walk around. While going through all these, just know that millions of women are going throught worse things in their homes. I am not saying to reduce yourself to a slave in your marital home, but dont just walk away. You are stronger than that.

ONE LOVE

shapey:

hOW DO YOU KNOW THIS FOR SURE? When my story was told on this same site people opened their mouth saying all sorts of rubbish about how i should sell the story to Nigerian movie makers. YOu were asked for an advice not to do the work of scotland yard dectectives!!! This lady is going through a rough time and all you can say is that she has formulated her story. You think everyone has all the time to sit down and entertain you


@ poster,
Marriage is a long long long walk. I have found myself in positions where i thought i would leave the marriage at the drop of a heart. Believe me my dear sister, you can forgive that man you call your husband. I am heavily pregnant now and my husband cheated on me. I closed my mind to the marriage, but by the time i churned things over, i thougth otherwise. Just read my story on this same family section. I went through hell, saw the devil and came back. I thought it was all over, and that the dark days had gone by. I did not know that there was more waiting for me. I am expecting my 1st baby in 3months, i have a pregnancy induced hypertension. My husband's mobile rang and i picked up a lady said ''honi that was so hot''. My husband had just returned home from ''work''. what would you do if you were in my shoes Tolerance my sister. Be patient with him. sleep in the same bed, have shower together.It is heart breaking. The next day after that call, i had a shower with my husband, and he touched my tummy , we played and joked till he left for work. I never mentioned a word of it to him. Only yesterday, he was late in coming home. I rang the hospital where he works, and was told he left over 2hrs ago. He walked in like 1 hr later and said he just left the hospital.

My dear, cool temper oh!!! Think of your son. He will need his father's presence in his early development. don't deprive him of it. There is nothing we women cannot walk around. While going through all these, just know that millions of women are going throught worse things in their homes. I am not saying to reduce yourself to a slave in your marital home, but don't just walk away. You are stronger than that.

ONE LOVE

She is thinking of her son that is why she is not willing to let him see that his father's bad behavior is acceptable. Look at your husband and see if he did not learn his behavior from his family. You cannot base your staying in a marriage solely on children. I simply cannot hve respect for a habitual liar jus like I don't expect my husband to respect me if every word out of my mouth is a lie.

To all those talking about patience and tolerance,if the table turns around,would the guy still be there for this lady? Let me see your hands!, No amount of Church or Prayer can do shit,there is a universal force that keep this world balance and we are all blessed to know what is right and wrong,dear poster if you want to stick with him all your choice but if i was you,i will just allow nemisis to catch up with him,ever heard of Principle of special relativity.That answers all.Your son is your world now,make him a better man.

Take it easy my dear, it is most common with Nigeria men to cheat

@wateva90
u must be an idiot and a big one at that. i am simple givinmg the poster some advice. it has nothing to do with you. please, who solicited ur coment. the guy cheated on her i am just looking for ways to make his pain worse, first get him deported and later sleep with his friend. i ma sure he wont try that with any other woman after such

@okunoba
yes i am very cruel. very cruel please dont apply what you would find painful on yourself on someone else. fine, the bible is replete with forgivess and that is the reason the man is always taking cheating for granted.
please, if the man does not want 2 go through pain, then dont apply a needle on someone else. that is my philosopy.
i dont support cheating on my husband neither would i condone him cheating on me . its simple and its a two way thing

namun:

@wateva90
u must be an idiot and a big one at that. i am simple givinmg the poster some advice. it has nothing to do with you. please, who solicited ur coment. the guy cheated on her i am just looking for ways to make his pain worse, first get him deported and later sleep with his friend. i ma sure he wont try that with any other woman after such

oh shut up u swine,wat kind of stupid and meaningless advise did u give to her?to sleep around wt her husbands friend as if shes a dog?if u r a useless dog,why advise smone to also be d dog dat u r?

even if she sleeps wt his friend,its d woman dat will loose,cos d man obviously does not love her,one bit,and believe me he wouldnt give a shit if she sleeps wt his own father,so tell me who will be loosing out?she of course,cos she will be d stupid LovePeddler

there r other ways of dealing wt issues like dis outside opening d legs like some prostitute to get at a man,any woman dat tries dat,has no pride,honour or watsoever to her womanhood

sorry for bringing ur family into dis,but now tell me if it is ur sister will u advise her to go and open her legs wide for her husbands friend?if it were ur mother,will u advise her to open her legs for her husbands friend?

now tell me wat exactly is ur point?

Well,
Poster all I can say is do what is right.You know what is rigth don't allow people to give advise based on sentiments or because they have been through something similar.We all react to situation differently and moreover Nigerians are not that good when it come to issues like this because alot of them do the same thing.I will say if you can't take it anymore why lie to yourself or wait for someone to tell you what to do.Let him go and you go take care of your kids or if you want him to have them let him take the kids.It he did not change after all the episodes you guys went through then he won't.Nigerians tend to play with God's name alot God has nothing to do with these he is the one to change not God.I am a married man who know what I am talking about.Some Nigerians Will still say something stupid about my blog anyway which I really don't care.You seem like a good and smart person take control of your life ,take care of your kids if you want to get married again in the future it's up to you but wise up this time around .It hurts me to seeNigerian men act so cruel to women all in the name of papers,money of wealth it is so inhumane.I wish you luck on what soever you decide.Just be true to yourself and do what you think is the right thing to do.

Hi chukwuify,

I know it hurts so much when you are betrayed by the very one you love. As we are different so also our opinion varies. Alot of people have said different things depending on their experience and their state in life. I would suggest you make one final effort to communicate with him before you make any decision. Before you can really get across to him, you should try to make him as comfortable as possible. look for the best way to put his mind at rest, the right place where you could squeeze out some humour out of him. If you can Make him laugh, then ask him, with a smile on your face 'what you can do to make him happy' if he tries to pull back reach out him still holding on to that smile reassuring him that you would not be mad with what ever answer he gives to you. The truth is if you can get him to talk to you in a way friends do, you will surely get a solution that you would not regret implimenting.

Goodlurk.

Agoloj:

Hi chukwuify,

I know it hurts so much when you are betrayed by the very one you love. As we are different so also our opinion varies. Alot of people have said different things depending on their experience and their state in life. I would suggest you make one final effort to communicate with him before you make any decision. Before you can really get across to him, you should try to make him as comfortable as possible. look for the best way to put his mind at rest, the right place where you could squeeze out some humour out of him. If you can Make him laugh, then ask him, with a smile on your face 'what you can do to make him happy' if he tries to pull back reach out him still holding on to that smile reassuring him that you would not be mad with what ever answer he gives to you. The truth is if you can get him to talk to you in a way friends do, you will surely get a solution that you would not regret implimenting.

Goodlurk.

Please kindly answer this simple question, What kind of smile would she possibly have on her face after being betrayed That is hypocrisy if you ask me. She is possibly hurt and then she goes to make him laugh and she smiles herself? What is there to smile about? this sound like what a typical Nigerian guy would say. How can you force shit down my throat and expect her to eat it and say thanks to you?

My dear initial poster, like i said previously, i know you can hang in there for your child. If he was old enough, then it's a different story. He is a baby, pls let him feel the presence of his father. Apart from that, it is difficult staying in such circumstances as yours.

I wish you all the best.

Madam, pay attention to all the replies on this thread.u will notice that mostly the mens views are different from the womens view.dont ever take advices that relates to ur relationship or love life from a person who is of the same sex wit u.she will have absolutely nothing to offer cos she has never being an opposite sex to u.but if u feel divorce is best for u, u can carry on, we have seen women who passed through all these b4.leaving him makes u the loser, but stayin on and eventually fighting and conquering the devil makes u a real woman and a winner, i believe a word should be enough, take care lol

Ok, Enroe, would it then be acceptable to say that if the shoe were on the other foot, he should then stay and endure, because that will make him a real man? I can't help but to notice how the men want this woman to stay, to endure, to pray. When these same men, would not tolerate a cheating wife. Rubbish.

shapey:


@ poster,
Marriage is a long long long walk. I have found myself in positions where i thought i would leave the marriage at the drop of a heart. Believe me my dear sister, you can forgive that man you call your husband. I am heavily pregnant now and my husband cheated on me. I closed my mind to the marriage, but by the time i churned things over, i thougth otherwise. Just read my story on this same family section. I went through hell, saw the devil and came back. I thought it was all over, and that the dark days had gone by. I did not know that there was more waiting for me. I am expecting my 1st baby in 3months, i have a pregnancy induced hypertension. My husband's mobile rang and i picked up a lady said ''honi that was so hot''. My husband had just returned home from ''work''. what would you do if you were in my shoes Tolerance my sister. Be patient with him. sleep in the same bed, have shower together.It is heart breaking. The next day after that call, i had a shower with my husband, and he touched my tummy , we played and joked till he left for work. I never mentioned a word of it to him. Only yesterday, he was late in coming home. I rang the hospital where he works, and was told he left over 2hrs ago. He walked in like 1 hr later and said he just left the hospital.

@shapey,

I cannot believe that is happening to you after all you went through with that husband of yours.

Is he not the man who put you through hell with your in laws and your parents even had to intervene?
Now you suspect he is having an affair?

Sweet Jesus what is this world made of?

Take heart o!!

What is wrong with her husband encouraging and blessing another woman who is lonely and needed assistance?

Remember it is more better to give than to receive

Can the poster swear that she has not been giving her river of joy to other men especially her former boy friends before she got married?

Oh my God shapey, you must have the patience of a saint!

I have tolerated stuff before but I would nevertolerate that stuff! honi that was hot!!! oh my god why didnt you confront him about this?

is this allowed in your culture shapey?

Obviosly your husband was sleeping with someone else and you just go and have a shower with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why woudl anyone tolerate that? he will just keep doing it more and more cos he knows he can get away with it.

AMAKAONE:


@shapey,

I cannot believe that is happening to you after all you went through with that husband of yours.

Is he not the man who put you through hell with your in laws and your parents even had to intervene?
Now you suspect he is having an affair?

Sweet Jesus what is this world made of?

Take heart o!!

Yes it was that same husband who took me to hell and back. I am still with him. It seemed like we were going to be the perfect couple after that but that was not to be. What maore can i say. Marriage is a long long hard road to trek. I almost lost my dear life during the ordeal of an ectopic pregnancy, lost one tube, got pregnant again, and now this? As you see me so, I don tough like namma back, nothing fit do me. I have my game plan, and i will set it off when the time is right.

Echidime:

What is wrong with her husband encouraging and blessing another woman who is lonely and needed assistance?

Remember it is more better to give than to receive

Can the poster swear that she has not been giving her river of joy to other men especially her former boy friends before she got married?

Are you asking what is wrong? When your wife does it, then will you know how wrong it is. As for now, i reserve my comments.

Leilah:

Oh my God shapey, you must have the patience of a saint!

I have tolerated stuff before but I would nevertolerate that stuff! honi that was hot!!! oh my god why didnt you confront him about this?

is this allowed in your culture shapey?

Obviosly your husband was sleeping with someone else and you just go and have a shower with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why woudl anyone tolerate that? he will just keep doing it more and more because he knows he can get away with it.

I must say that as women, we are all as patients as ''saints''. I will confront him, but at my own time. I will do so when I am psychologically ready to walk out of his life. It is strange but true.I cannot not put all my experiences here. That is why i say to the poster, you can ''take that shit''. I will stop taking ''my own shit'' when he least expects, and nobody, i mean NOBODY will say anything to stop me.

Having read thru all the responses I am going to call my husbands best friend and thank him again for making the introduction.

Then i am going to drop to my knees and give all praise and glory to the one above for picking the right Nigerian man for me. It appears that what April said may have some weight, either they are faithful, true and loving or deceitful lying pigs.

@whateva90
please, and please, i know u are very stupid but i can't believe u are so stupid you can bring ur sister into this. because I'm sure u can't be reffering to mine. as for being a swine, ure definately refering to yourself and your family and show what manner of mentality u potray. anyone, who has an iota of simple and basic home training would not use gutter language like u do.
i can never demean myself 2 trade words with u. its just beneath me
but next time spare me d agony of seeing your comment on my post.

I am reallysorry for your pain. remember he will always think you will shup up and put up. I hope you do leave him when the time is right.

@whateva90
please when you want to refer to ur mother, ur sisters, or ur family write it in a more detailed form. am very sure, ure a low life idiot that has nothing noble to say
bitch