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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" (67338 Views)
God Is Punishing Me, Someone Please Help Me..... / I Am Sleeping With Our Pastor – Lagos Wife / Is This Gods' Way Of Punishing Him, Pls Advise Him (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by veave(f): 12:22am On Dec 09, 2014 |
MsPat: Please watch what you put online... some vulnerable people visit this forum. things like rat poison are too sensitive to joke about... of all the wonderful advice given to her who knows, this might be the only one she picks... #please be guided... 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by linearity: 12:27am On Dec 09, 2014 |
I like this movie, when will part 2 abi na part 3 go come out? |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Funjosh(m): 12:34am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Wait o, how will she even say it self, "my husband is raping me" TomiwaDamola: |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by tonididdy(m): 1:08am On Dec 09, 2014 |
hollandis:what God has joined together, let no man or woman put assunder. @Op but why u nor like sex? Why u dey dress like woman wey deY go mecca? |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by TomiwaDamola(f): 1:11am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Funjosh: I don't get what you are trying to say. She said her husband raped her in her original post. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by MDCEO1: 1:15am On Dec 09, 2014 |
I truly believe this story may be true. Why?? Remember the case of the woman banker that was killed and butchered by her husband 3yrs ago? Here is the link if you dont remember. https://www.nairaland.com/701925/horror-nigerian-man-stabs-wife If the woman banker that was killed by her husband a few years ago came on Nairaland to say things that might have been happening in her marriage, people would have called her a liar and said she was cooking up stories just for attention. Until she died. Killed by her own husband and stabbed to death severally. Truth is, there are many psychos walking around, but people would not know. The killer of that young woman, if u asked his friends, they will say he's a nice, correct, happy easy-going, and even church-loving guy. Only the woman would know the kind of beast she was living with and enduring, until he finally killed her. Even if she had told her pastor, he would probably have counselled her to keep enduring and remain married. Nobody would really believe her, or believe its that bad. Truth is, there are many crazy people walking about, wearing suits and looking normal. As someone put it here on NL, ....."many are mad, but few are na*ked on the streets". And you'll not know until they finally go haywire and do something clearly 'kolo'. Her husband sounds like a psycho.....he seems obsessed with the idea of revenge, and gets off on the idea of violent sex. Its obvious that is what excites him. And such people are dangerous......potentially VERY dangerous. True, the OP misbehaved and acted like a frigging bi*tch during their dating years, but that should not warrant the degree of sexual torture he metes out to her. My honest advice to the OP is this.... For the next few weeks (FEW weeks only), try out a test to see if you can salvage the marriage. Try to give in to his demands for sex like a loving wife, pet him, romance him, even be the one to ask for sex when he comes back. If its true that he just needs you to freely have sex with him, he'll calm down by the time you're the one taking the initiative and asking for sex. Infact, there'll even be times when he'll be tired and you'll ask him for sex and he'll be like......."woman, you no dey tire Leave me joor!".....n his attempts at violent sex will reduce because you're giving him freely, and even giving him more than overdose. While you're doing this, watch carefully and see whether his violent attitude will reduce and life returns to normal. Also gauge carefully whether you can cope with his degree of libido for that few weeks of trial.....or whether he's trying to turn your narrow orifice to a wide basin. If he calms down,..........good for you, all you now need to do is gauge whether you can cope with his high level of libido all your life (though it usually drops with age sha) But If any of these 2 things persist...... He keeps being violent and raping you at will despite you giving him freely Or he is nacking you to death with his degree of libido (he can be a nympho that can nack 30 times a day) Then i have only 1 thing to say to you.... PACK YOUR LOAD AND VAMOOOOSE!!! And dont listen to what any pastor, reverend, prophet or 'man of God' has to say. Because they may be the same ones officiating at your funeral in a few months or years time if you get killed. These are my thots, just had to say it, i've never typed an epistle so long in all my 8years on NL. Others may see things differently though......i'm not fully qualified to advise about marriage matters.....because i'm not yet married myself. 7 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by mrvictor: 1:17am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by lurex2rhyme(m): 1:53am On Dec 09, 2014 |
op u sure say ur papa no circumcise u wen u d small.? if u r 4rm calabar.... infact make i close my mouth. i blame d guy 4 pretending. cuz me if u like be pope pikin so far as we r dating u hv 2 be active in romance ie kissin n hw 2 tease sum1. una wer d talk divorce most of d do d tin 4 nite class wit una illegal bf hw much more legal married woman dnt knw hw 2 seduce her husband n wetin vex me be say she refuse 2 learn. u wan tel me say u knw pass ur mma ettebom( pastor's wife). no be una virgin d say sex is ordain by God 4 married pple. wen d husband go cheat nw, na she go run cum open thread on hw 2 get her man bck. marriage is nt i big pass 18 nor am a graduate. is nt 4 kids ok. if u wanted dieing a virgin we hv many convent in nigeria. payin bride in calabar n akwa ibom no be "nkpo ntuk eyen". "ubo ifiok do" n save ur marriage 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by mumubynature(m): 2:35am On Dec 09, 2014 |
I respect this Op.She/He can cook anything cookable |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by kennethology(m): 3:06am On Dec 09, 2014 |
If the story is true, that's the worst that could happen to a man. Sex denial. Woman u have the keys to his heart open and close it at will. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by SlyIg(f): 5:07am On Dec 09, 2014 |
okiezman:Exactly, the story is just fake. *After their wedding and before their Sunday thanksgiving, the girl has started work already? Was there no leave? *The husband stated he bought her a car after their marriage which she accepted with very little appreciation and she used the car for work and church. *It was just 10minutes to church service when the husband asked her for sexx, they wasted time making love, she still dressed up and drove out of the house pretending to be going to the church and came back home, yet still, the pastor in that church still left the congregation to come to their to settle their dispute? Which time did they use for all these things and when did they go back to the church? This story get as e be sha. 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by kandiikane(m): 5:20am On Dec 09, 2014 |
AKMoney1:I don't get men sometimes, in your head, "I took her out, bought her perfume etc" = "she must give me sex" yet when women actually take your gifts and have sex with you, you say she's an ashawo. If she doesn't you say she's a gold digger or whatever title you have for those who you are nice to but don't want to open legs for you. Confused bunch, I twale for una! 3 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by unmask: 5:38am On Dec 09, 2014 |
pweetixandy:what! She should divorce his silly behind or he should divorce her dumb behind..... She is se.xless, non-romantic, wicked...... The guy is actually nice that he hasn't brought another woman in...... That is why I say and I am sure the husband agrees that marrying a virgin can be a curse... And did anyone notice that the husband didn't give a phock neither was he impressed by her claim to virginity. What does it profit a man to marry a virgin wife that cannot do?..... 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by unmask: 5:44am On Dec 09, 2014 |
kandiikane:how about rephrased to "I don't get women, you said no sexxx till marriage, I waited patiently... Now we are married and you are still asking for more time, is the man a patient?" 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by tintingz(m): 6:38am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Sophyrocks:Lol... Where you there, do you know if he did all that and said to her "baby come and bath me". The only part in your argument is the raping you condemned which i did, the other part of your argument doesn't make any sense. Is she the only virgin that got married? The lady I quoted was a virgin when she married but she didn't behave like a log wood, she read about romance and sex on internet. You want equality and yet you want the man to do everything, understand everything or are you saying virgins don't have sexual urge can't she start a move? Raping is very wrong but you can't just attack the man alone the woman also has fault. Is she also romantic?? being a virgin doesn't mean she shouldn't read tips on romance and sex. If she's not ready for married she should have said so. Hypocrisy: you want equality and yet the man must do everything. 3 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by stanconnect(m): 7:18am On Dec 09, 2014 |
AKMoney1: Bro I so much agree with u. I think this should serve as a big lesson to most of the ladies here...in as much as I do not totally support the husband violent way of getting sex from her buh I think to an xtent that she is actually the architect of her problem. She had a lot of time to actually know who she truelly married..instead she used those times to have fun with her friends and the guy sorry to say is not all that matured and is actually seeing this now as an opportunity to pay her back. My advice: where I come from, we do not believe in divorce, we believe in the scriptural definition of marriage; for better for 'worse'...u can actually tame him and bring out the better side of the man u married. All u need to do is to first acknowledge that u both have wronged each other. Secondly encourage urself to forgive him. Thirdly call him out on a date outside ur home, inform him that u have realised how much u hurt him then..and that he shouldn't still bear all that against u cos u where still not matured then...and now...that u are ready to make amends for the betterment and happiness of ur marriage. Fouthly educate urself more on sex...use google...read sex books and watch adult movies; he will be surprised if u r able to impact all u learned. And lastly...everything has a diminishing return...he's jst this way cos it's the first time he's getting into u and it's something he has so longed for...don't give attention to all these ppl asking u to divorce ur man..theres no better man out there....they all have got their flaws..its left for u to tame him to ur taste dear.. Again use prayers to back up all ur problems...seek for God's intervention...tell him what u want...he listens and works with ur kind...if u could stay a virgin till u married..then u don't have any reason to suffer in ur marriage..I wish u Gods grace and blessings as u try to make ur marriage work. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Oahray: 7:20am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Story story... Once upon a time, a vicious dog married a frigid piece of wood after three years of dating... and NL had to suffer for it. 4 Likes |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by bomasek(m): 7:42am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Babe hang yourself cause u r as frigid as a mannequin,which kind useless Virgin wey no wan experience kerewa on her wedding night. Even small romance u dey do shakara even wen o'man don drop dough 4 ya yansh,na wa o. 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by timdking1982: 8:07am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Cholls:To me dat man is not a beast..wen a man paid ur dowry and u are still making him feel like a stranger to b4 touching u it will result to something u can't handle..Let d woman accept dat she is married and let her be free wit her husband..If ur husband like sex, den learn how to satisfy him..even d holy Bible told us to marry if we can not hold body.. why would u be denying him of sex..if his capacity can take 15 rounds a day, since u married him, let him have it..d only thing causing trouble in ur home is ur sex life..ur husband loves u cos he marries u..Try and satisfy him and all will be well.. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by okiezman(m): 8:25am On Dec 09, 2014 |
SlyIg:Free the yeye op and his lies 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by franklingud(m): 8:43am On Dec 09, 2014 |
@op... My dear save yourself and go become a reverend sister or better yet go back to your father's hauz.. You are NOT romantic at allllll!.. in fact you are a LOG OF WOOD!... you are lucky cos Ur husband doesn't beat you. if Na me, I go BEAT you wella!.. you are married @ 26 and you are not happy abt it.... mumu 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by chukist: 8:49am On Dec 09, 2014 |
What is happening in this furom on this particular post? How can reasonable woman denied her husband sex repeatedly? For christ sake is a SIN. To be honest how many us here can even date a girl without sex? Come to talk about marriage, in other words u are askin the man to go and play away match. Woman, if u knw u are nt ready for marriage? Quit! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by wolexy2(m): 9:07am On Dec 09, 2014 |
looooooool |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by nnasino(m): 9:17am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Tales by moonlight |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 9:17am On Dec 09, 2014 |
RedBenson: A man who courted a woman for 3 years should have learnt of her and understood her. Is marriage all about rights? If she is being unfriendly is raping her the solution, punishing her because she married him? Yes she needs to go where she can get her mind together, look into where she is going wrong while he the husband figures out how to be a husband in the true sense of the word. A man who should protect his wife is the one raping her what nonsense. There is no justification for his actions. A man rapes his wife and she is told to beg him for what? for marrying him? her offence being she can't handle being raped. Where is the pride there when it should be the man apologising for losing his senses. Just a week of marriage she has been raped countless times. She is not his property, he did not create her he has no right to treat her anyhow he likes. 1 Like |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by aitop(m): 9:18am On Dec 09, 2014 |
arvinsloane:My brother you'll be surprised to ear what happens in marriages. just of recent a friend of my shared his sister experience and her husband with me, the man had to beat his wife just because the wife wasn't in the mood to have sex with him. These are the people you'll see and pray for such union for yourself. many issues in marriages, I've heard a lot concerning op experience, it exist. A lady friend of mine told me she doesnt really enjoy having sex that she always feels beaten by her boyfriend when they are having sex, nothing special about it, I was shocked and I asked her to repeat herself but she repeated as if she will adjust to like it later. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 9:19am On Dec 09, 2014 |
ocelot2006: How is it that he is still frustrated when he has been raping her since the wedding night? The man is ill. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Tholuwaniey(m): 9:20am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Sophyrocks: You wouldn't know that would you?? |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 9:22am On Dec 09, 2014 |
Readonee35L: The lady didn't make him do nothing. Since he knows he wants Bleep action he should have looked for a woman who wants such what courting was he doing for three years that he didn't talk about what he wants? The man is ill. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by blamelessly(f): 10:00am On Dec 09, 2014 |
The story is not fake. She is only a very good writer. That's why you can read it as real as it is. Dear Op, its sad that you had to go through your sexual experience in such an ugly and unpleasant way. There is a gap of communication between you and your husband that needs to be filled. He is thinking one way and you are thinking the other way. That gap needs to be bridged. My advice is that you leave him for a week or 2 .You don't need to go to your parent's house or get them involved. You can stay with a friend, cousin or alone somewhere. After a week of his endless calls, demand for a meeting in an open place. Voice out your hurts. Allow him to say his. Tell him sincerely how he makes you feel about sex. He needs to promise to change b4 u can come back. You also my dear friend, needs to calm down. Be prepared mentally to learn from him. Tell him you are prepared to learn if he'll be gentle with you. The truth is that his sex drive is way to high. To meet up will take a lot. Give your marriage a second chance. Equiping yourself with knowledge. Read books related to it. Attend marriage seminars. See a pyschologist together if possible. If you still feel unhappy and trapped after, then you can take the secondary step and decision. May God see you through this tough times. Amen! |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Nobody: 10:24am On Dec 09, 2014 |
andromida: Madam, although i am single but that doesnt make me fail in understanding things porperly and spot where the problem(s) may come(s) from. Based on the comments gathered by you two (yourself and OP), i sincerely pray God does not give me your type when i want to get married. It's so pathetic that you're among those supporting this ill-character she's showing to her husband. A man married a woman and all the woman does is to show him rudeness, hostility and unfriendliness. Perhaps, you guys need to go learn more about marriage before going into one cos obviously you lack what it takes to manage marriage. |
Re: Our Pastor Sided Him For "Punishing Me After Marriage" by Sammiejo: 10:30am On Dec 09, 2014 |
blesie: My two pence for you as someone who has had a similar experience. THIS IS THE HONEYMOON PERIOD, YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU IN BED MORE THAN EVER ESPECIALLY AFTER A CELIBATE COURTSHIP. ITS EARLY DAYS, HIS DESIRE WILL WANE A BIT. Your soreness should have reduced by now. BE THE GAME CHANGER. What to do - initiate sex every time you see him, before he asks. when u wake , when he comes form work, before you leave the house at any time , just give it to him any time any where in the house without his asking, you may not enjoy it initially IF THE POSITION IS UNCOMFORTABLE LET HIM KNOW, but gradually he will find what make you tick and you will enjoy it until then make sure u take yourself to a mental state of clam and rest during the act to get the best of the action. I CAN TELL YOU TO TAKE EVERY ROUND WITH BOTH HANDS, because days are coming when he will be too work burdened to give a hoot. BY THE WAY YOUR HUSBAND'S SEX DRIVE IS NOT TOO HIGH. Its because its early days and e de shack the guy especially as you were a virgin and very tight. 2 Likes |
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