The harsh comments men r giving here are too painful really. I think I'm just going to unfollow. I don't think a first time should be traumatic tho. If a person has had sex before marriage now some guys would see the woman as a slut. Well, men are hard to understand.

andromida:


A man who courted a woman for 3 years should have learnt of her and understood her. Is marriage all about rights? If she is being unfriendly is raping her the solution, punishing her because she married him? Yes she needs to go where she can get her mind together, look into where she is going wrong while he the husband figures out how to be a husband in the true sense of the word. A man who should protect his wife is the one raping her what nonsense. There is no justification for his actions.

A man rapes his wife and she is told to beg him for what? for marrying him? her offence being she can't handle being raped. Where is the pride there when it should be the man apologising for losing his senses. Just a week of marriage she has been raped countless times. She is not his property, he did not create her he has no right to treat her anyhow he likes.

Sincerely if this story is true, I find it difficult to believe he raped her. If Sex was all he he was after , he would have found a way to get in her pants before now.
@OP Just try my advice for two weeks and tell us the difference.

chukist:
What is happening in this furom on this particular post? How can reasonable woman denied her husband sex repeatedly? For christ sake is a SIN. To be honest how many us here can even date a girl without sex? Come to talk about marriage, in other words u are askin the man to go and play away match. Woman, if u knw u are nt ready for marriage? Quit!

Simple! But some irrational folks who find pleasure in hiding away truth would be saying thrash here. If she's not ready for marriage (which is very obvious) neither ready to learn and amend her ways, quit marriage. That's the highest advice i can give. Enough of this yarnings. I don dey vex sef.

blesie:
So i narrated how little i can of my ordeal since i got married to this man here last week - https://www.nairaland.com/2030889/he-punishing-me-honey-moon

While i got alot of advises from our dear Nairalanders, i had resolve before not to tell the pastor or my parent but to talk to him as many advised, i couldn't look him in the eye actually, i tried to do that many times since that Friday but I couldnt, so i said ok, after sunday service i will build up courage to confront him and voice out my opinion to him.

So on sunday, it was going to be our first sunday after wedding, i had arrange our wears, his and my own, i woke up early to make breakfast for him and prepare him for church, before he woke up i was already in the kitchen so i ask him to take his bath and lets go early.

He took breakfast (i don't take breakfast so i didnt eat), we were all fully dressed and ready to set out, i packed our bible and writing note into the car and the gift we wanted to give our pastor too inside the car.

it was almost time and i said, so shall we, he said not yet and i said what is remaining, he said you're remaining, you havent given me nothing this morning, i said but you just took breakfast, he said nope, i haven't had you. This is like 10minutes for church to start oo.

He came closer and i said please dont let us waste time lets go. He changed. Don't let us do what? did you just say waste time? he dragged me down the couch and started what i will call rape again, at the process he had rough handled everything i wore, roughen my hair, i started crying, he walk down the wardrobe pick up something and ask me to wear it, i told him i'm not going to church again, he started begging that i can't do that but i keep refusing.

He shouted i should let us go, and i refused. He came back and raped me again till i agree i will go. So i dressed up and just ran into my own car, took off.

He thought i was going to church, he also entered the car and make his way to church. When he got to church he called me. I didn't answer the phone. i came home and was lying on the bed thinking of what next to do. i was actually thinking of running away without a word so he can come look for me forever.

So he got to church and the pastor and wife ask him about me, he said i must be inside. The pastor sensed something. did you say she must be inside? Did you two not come together bla bla bla. After serious enquiries he opened up that we had an issue in the morning.

I was lying down and i heard the door bell, i thought he was the one, i did not open it. The bell rang a thousand times i ignored it. The pastor wife called but i didn't answer, so because my car was parked inside they knew i was around. Finally i opened and here my pastor and wife have left the congregation standing there with him.

So they came in and ask me what happened, i told them i wanted a divorce, that my husband was killing me. They ask me what happened, if he was beating me or denying me of sex of not providing etc. I told them he raped me everything over everything and that my greatest surprise was to know he is doing all of these because i couldn't let him have sex with me while we were dating.

They then turned to him and ask him what happened. I never knew some people can talk so well that will make a bad case look good. Anyway he's a barrister.

He said: "Pastor i don't know why this happen but i knew i never ask God to give me a virgin as a wife. My brother married a virgin and till today he cannot enjoy sex so he has resulted to having sex outside wedlock but i have promised myself that i wont do that. Whether she likes it or not, she must satisfy me.

Ever since i met her over 3 years ago, i loved her, even though she told me no sex, i thought she was just been careful so i left her. For 3 years i never touched any woman. Here i was thinking she was practising romance, or sex style she will give me on wedding night because she did not have any virgin trait on her. She was exposed (works in the media), talks fearlessly, gives me headache so i thought oh she is a tough girl.

But on our wedding night, my wife here comes into the room. Before i could finish a call, she rushes to take her bath, cover herself up like she is going for a Mecca trip. She comes here lying with her back facing me. I thought to myself, but this is the same lady that smiles and laughs throughout na. What would have happened? i said ok pls come and bath me. She refused. i had to beg. Then she came standing 50 metres away, throwing water on my body, i got so angry i wanted to beat her up but i calmed down and before i could say jack, she got angry that she is not bathing me anymore. I met her again in the room and she said she tired and want to sleep, i tried to beg her she refused I then say to myself, so after begging her for 3 years to date me, kneel down to propose, beg her parent, beg the church i have to beg again for sex in this house. Not in my life! So i had my way, and i made sure i wasn't hurting her because i realised the first time she was a virgin.

Just to please her that she was a virgin which wasnt much of a big deal to me, i entered a car shop, got her a car, i told her this is for you, she said thanks like i bought her a biscuit and the next morning she left to her office in her own car.

She returned and i wanted to kiss her and she said i was disturbing her that she is tired. I was so angry. Whenever i I'm angry, i just have sex with her to calm myself down so i dont go drinking or even beat her. The only day i can admit to raping her was when she returned from work and i had sex with her. She stayed on the couch crying. I took wine in two glasses, gave her one but she pushed the wine glass away from me.

He continued. "I then said jokingly, 'you see its your time to cry now, im giving you those hot sex so you remember the times you used to punish me, insult me and make me go through hardtime but you've got to change now because I'm your husband, if not you will be crying like this.

Then my wife stood up and said to me, 'God will judge you for your wickedness!'

What!!! So i am wicked for having have sex with my wife? The same woman i paid a huge ransom to her calabar relations to marry her? I got so angry so i raped the hell out of her that day. She almost fainted, though i felt bad afterwards.

So this morning, we were set for church. I wanted to kiss her and just touch her a little because she was looking beautiful. She started that stubbornness again. She pushed me away like trash so i showed her I'm more powerful by having sex with her and she said she wasn't going to church anymore.

I brought something else for her to wear she refused and i remember she does anything i want her to do while having sex with her so i gave her another round and she ran out to the car. I thought she has left for church but no. So, this is what i have been passing through."

My pastor wife was first to comment. She said "What!!! Did you do all that i heard?"

I said, "No ma, he is not saying it the way it is. He raped me."

So they started asking the questions one after the other. ''Did you bath only you on your wedding night?''

My husband jumps in. "Ask her if she ever bath with me together since we were married!"

At that point, i felt like asking him to stop talking. My pastor said, "how old are you again? In case i have forgotten". i said "26, sir".

He said "Why na.. why, did you not read? But you are learned na. Why did you have to do all of these?"

The pastor turns to the wife and said, "mummy, did you not put her through counselling?"

They all started blaming me and apologizing to my husband. My pastor's wife had a one on one with me. They asked me to kneel to beg him.

They ask me to dress up lets go to church, it was suppose to be our thanksgiving sunday. I told them, "i wont be able to go as my eyes was already red". In my mind I'd rather sit and start thinking of how i can satisfy this man.

As advised, i bath with him last night, as expected he had sex with me in the bathroom, i felt like fainting but i kept quiet this time. I bear it like its a price i have to pay.

We had sex 3 times before the night was over. Now he is happy.

HONESTLY IF I KNEW THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE. THEY DID NOT PURSUE ME OUT

OP, just one question for you, did you tell your husband while you were dating that you are a virgin? Because i married a virgin as well, and we prepared for it together, read about the disvirgin process and etc.

stagger:
People don't seem to understand there is a difference between having sex, making love and fuc..king. Whatever the case, a husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.

How can a man forcefully have sex with his wife? Sex is to be enjoyed by both parties. It is not a tool to gratify a man's lust. Even when a woman is not in the mood, there is a way a real husband can work the wife into the mood. It is not a spontaneous thing. You have to start the job hours before then.

As a rule, I make sure I give my wife at least 2 orgasms before mine, then give her one more. I had to learn this. You can't just pounce on your wife and pound away expecting her to switch herself on and off like a light. Women are not like us. All it takes to get hard is for a man to look at a woman with good specs. Women are not wired that way. A man must learn to use words and pre-intimacy to turn a woman on before mounting her. It is not done by force.

.
Well said that what a loving husband does not be so selfish and insensitive. It looks like he only care about himself.

RedBenson:


Madam, although i am single but that doesnt make me fail in understanding things porperly and spot where the problem(s) may come(s) from. Based on the comments gathered by you two (yourself and OP), i sincerely pray God does not give me your type when i want to get married. It's so pathetic that you're among those supporting this ill-character she's showing to her husband. A man married a woman and all the woman does is to show him rudeness, hostility and unfriendliness. Perhaps, you guys need to go learn more about marriage before going into one cos obviously you lack what it takes to manage marriage.

I fail to understand how this has turned to be about "my type" and my marriage management skills not to get sidetracked though can you clarify how this woman has been rude and of ill character, hostile and unfriendly? maybe i can't see what you can see i am open to being wrong so share what you saw in her post that made you conclude she is hostile, rude, unfriendly and of ill character towards her husband.

Let me follow your thread of thought a man courted a woman for three years and some how, someway marries this woman who is of ill character. I can't wrap my mind around what he was courting for three years that he could not see they are not a match if this be the case. According to you her perhaps childishness and naivety about her husband's needs makes her a woman of ill character that deserves to be raped and she should understand why she must be raped on an almost daily basis as against the husband being patient and teaching his darling wife what he wants and how he wants it.

Sammiejo:

Sincerely if this story is true, I find it difficult to believe he raped her. If Sex was all he he was after , he would have found a way to get in her pants before now.
@OP Just try my advice for two weeks and tell us the difference.

If its true you are not the one in the story if she said she was raped then she was raped. What does she have to gain by painting her husband a wicked man? Nothing.

Dear Blesie.
This is my experience. Hope it will make you relax

I met my man @ age 22, got engaged @ 23 & married him @ 24. While he was asking me out, we agreed on a no-sex before marriage relationship & he agreed. Few months before we got married, he always says it to my hearing that I should never deny him sex while we are married. Infact, some days before the wedding, he will complain to me how he had a no-stop erection all through the night. The trad. was Friday. On Wednesday, I almost called the wedding a quit because I was scared of the topic, sex, sex, sex... On a second thought, if I tell my people, the wedding will no longer hold, only one question will they ask me , why? To tell them its because of sex will be so silly & naive. I graduated from University @ 20. By then, I have masters degree already. I blanked my mind to stop thinking about the whole matter & focus on the wedding plans

...The wedding night
We spent the night at his parent's place. After the usual traditional welcoming of the new bride, I was asked to go into my room, and prepare for my husband to join me. I was in the room siting on the bed with my wedding dress. The word "Prepare for your husband'' get ringing in my ears. So these people know, I M GOING TO HAVE SEX. Whao! Immediately, he came into the room, he unclad & ask me to do same. I even gave excuses that I needed to pack our bags for the honeymoon set for the next day. He asked me to put all on hold. The whole process was going too fast for me. I thought he was going to hold on for me till we get to our hotel room the next day. We were at his parent's. Everybody will know what was going on
He dragged me to the bath, insisting we take our bath together. I cant explain what happened in the bath. I felt bad. I felt strange. I felt I am doing something sacrilege. The whole process was new & not funny!
After we left for the room, he pounced on me asking me to raise my legs. This was strange. The idea of sex I have seen in movies is just a man lying on a woman. I really didn't know for a fact that it involves leg raising. It was hell. The whole process was fast, painful & ....
Again, the thought came that I return back to my father's house, dey no chase me. The question is, what will I tell them
The first 7 days was hell. All he wants is sex, sex, non-stop. I used to be very outspoken before we got married, but after I got introduced to sex, I became very gentle & moody. Unfortunately, my man didn't notice me as long as he is having sex. Infact, I used to have my way, but I couldn't anymore because he didn't even give me a chance to tell him no

The guy seems happy but I was sad. then I choose to be happy. I decided to embrace my husband's high sex drive. Even though, the first three month was hell for me, I was newly married but always sad. He didn't notice my mood until 3 months after. One day, he asked me? I just started crying. He knows that for me to cry, it must really be painful. We talked through it & he promised to always seek my consent before sex, although it is not a ground for me to say 'No'. He emphasized. He actually kept to his promise. The day he wants hot sex, he will send me messages, talk to me severally on phone joking about how lucky I am to have a man with high sex drive because it is the prayer of most married women. He tells me of how his female friends complain about their husband's inability to satisfy them sexually thereby seeking recourse with another man. Above all, he tells me he will rather sleep with me than any other woman & that the day he stops wanting me, I should suspect he has another partner. I don't think I want that

We have been married 8 years & we have a son together but still dear, the sex drive has not reduced. I am used to it

So my dear, you are not the only one in this. You cant prove that a man you are married to raped you. Nobody will believe you. Once you know his habits, give it to him before he forces it on you. I m sure after a while, the guy will pipe low a bit after he's had enough of what he missed in 3 years. I can assure you he will adjust when you cooperate. Give it a little time.

Pele oh!

Sammiejo:


My two pence for you as someone who has had a similar experience. THIS IS THE HONEYMOON PERIOD, YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS YOU IN BED MORE THAN EVER ESPECIALLY AFTER A CELIBATE COURTSHIP. ITS EARLY DAYS, HIS DESIRE WILL WANE A BIT. Your soreness should have reduced by now. BE THE GAME CHANGER. What to do - initiate sex every time you see him, before he asks. when u wake , when he comes form work, before you leave the house at any time , just give it to him any time any where in the house without his asking, you may not enjoy it initially IF THE POSITION IS UNCOMFORTABLE LET HIM KNOW, but gradually he will find what make you tick and you will enjoy it until then make sure u take yourself to a mental state of clam and rest during the act to get the best of the action.
I CAN TELL YOU TO TAKE EVERY ROUND WITH BOTH HANDS, because days are coming when he will be too work burdened to give a hoot.
BY THE WAY YOUR HUSBAND'S SEX DRIVE IS NOT TOO HIGH. Its because its early days and e de shack the guy especially as you were a virgin and very tight.

You speak from a man's point of view without bothering to understand her.

Nairaland ehhhhhh!

I am not usually harsh but I will be because this your story is too annoying to me.

You should not withhold sex from him, what is your problem exactly? He is not desirable to u or what? Are you frigid? As a virgin, aren't you curious what it feels like? You should be happy to be doing it with the love of your life you are married to and not fighting him.

I agree that he is wrong in forcing you but this is a man who has been waiting to ravish you for three years! You expect him to keep bottling his konji when he now has the konjugal rights over your body?

Girl, you better open up and give him free access, relax your body and lie limp if you like but don't fight or resist, he is your husband o.

you think it is easy to hold back konji? Abi you want to be a virgin till death?

This is why me am skeptical abt this abstaining thing especially when u know u will get married to the person.

Give yourself a chance to enjoy the sex so that the raping will stop. I hope it will, that is if it isn't that he is enjoying forcing you sef. Nawa

as for your pastor and wife, they are jobless to leave church on Sunday, simple.

pweetixandy:
how do I answer this question now ooo *thinking*

Just answer yes or no

Or if you are on the way.

P.S. If you have a steady boyfriend, its a yes automatically

Ma'am, I know how you feel. It is not a easy job to convince a virgin about sex. I lost my first girl because of this(she's always wanting to be my first) the current one understood me well because she is also a virgin. Eventhough I am 26 years and 2 months old, sex still remain a sacriledge to me. So ma'am I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Just try to adjust to him.

andromida:


How is it that he is still frustrated when he has been raping her since the wedding night? The man is ill.

Maybe you need to read the OP's story again. As much as i condemn the husband's approach, the lady is equally at fault acting like a damn wood from her wedding night till date. It's understandable if it was her first that night; the man could've been patient with her. But afterwards, she no try at all. I can assure you that every other man would've been so frustrated sex ally they'll either seek satisfaction outside or in very very very rare cases act out like her hubby (not a good choice at all).

andromida:


You speak from a man's point of view without bothering to understand her.

I'm eager to hear her own point of view, cos I still don't understand how a wife will still remain so frigid long after her wedding day. But hey, do tell the house.

ocelot2006:


Maybe you need to read the OP's story again. As much as i condemn the husband's approach, the lady is equally at fault acting like a damn wood from her wedding night till date. It's understandable if it was her first that night; the man could've been patient with her. But afterwards, she no try at all. I can assure you that every other man would've been so frustrated sex ally they'll either seek satisfaction outside or in very very very rare cases act out like her hubby (not a good choice at all).

I don't share the believe every other man will seek satisfaction outside just because his wife is learning the ropes of how to please him its still under a week. Not all men are wild animals.

rapmike:

Just answer yes or no

Or if you are on the way.

P.S. If you have a steady boyfriend, its a yes automatically

yes

pweetixandy:
yes

Ok. Nice meeting you anyway.

andromida:


You speak from a man's point of view without bothering to understand her.

I understand her position very well. Not all men act this way when their wives are virgins or a little bit resistant to sex, but in this case I assume she is looking for a workable soultion to move her marriage forward. What should she do? Report to every body to talk to the husband. Who is in the marriage, the people or her?
Except she is saying she married him for just goodies he provided prior marriage or to fulfil expectation. Sex is a vital part of marriage and must be enjoyed(MHO). As first timer, she might not be inclined to be free and hence resistance, and my way to deal with it is to settle her mind that this is her husband for life, SHE MUST HAVE SEX WITH HIM even when not in mood sometimes. it will not be imediately smooth, especially if there some other issues with the OP, but gradually na she go dey follow hubby about

Just to share , when I just got married, it so bad. I lock up keep key, if it was possiblea towns people meeting would have been called to beg me, infact I would say I was highly frigid fortunately my spouse was EXTREMELY patient albeit there were quarrels. Religous background and early indoctrination from parents and church of the evil of sex were the main inhibitors. Even after reading plenty kamar sutra and the rest, nothing really changed, until I made up my mind one day that I MUST DO THIS. Considering the progress I have made over the years, I have only one self question, why did it take me so long to do what I finally did.

So I believe I understand part if not all of OP's issue. OP forget all those he forced me things, he need my permission, na my body, i must agree, Sincerely e no go help you.
If after about 6months -1 year of FREELY having sex and he still forces you, then there MIGHT be a problem.

let me tell u dear.i registered as a nairalander 2day jst to hlp u save ur marriage because ii hv been following ur post resently.pls dont allow any third party to come into ur marriage in d name of settling u and ur husband because dats wot kills marriage nowadays.lemme start from d weddin eve to explain things to bath ur husband which u claimed u love is it a bath thing?i understand how d man felt because if u were to b in her shoes,u would hv done worst.d man confirmed it dat u re a virgin and as a mark of respect,he bought u a car to show dat u were a real virtuous woman.all d man needs is care and love wish i know u can do dat without any problem.u complain abt sex because u re new in d game but remember u guys jst wedded,dis is d man's time and also ur own time to enjoy sex because there will surely b a time wen ur husband will b tired of dis sex.all u need to do is pls jst pretend dat u dont hate sex and try to make it interesting 4 him.am sure dis guy loves u dr

ireneidiva:

You will advise your sister to remain in this kind of marriage Because men have finished or what He even admitted to raping her for godsake. I think something is wrong with you rather.

soo u sincerely tink dt filing for a divorce is best in dis case becus there are plenty men in the world??...My dear, u dnt run marriage like u run a relationship and my advise is dt they shud both sit down and find ways to resolve there diferences..evn if d man is a sex maniac and d woman is a Virgin she shud knw that knowledge has covered al of dt and dtz y u av d internet @ ur disposal to get information abt how to improve ur sex life and enjoy ur marriage.....Learn, acquaint urself wif it and sumday,he'l be d one begging u 2give him a brk becus naturally women are sexually stronger and active than d Male counterpart.....

aitop:
My brother you'll be surprised to ear what happens in marriages. just of recent a friend of my shared his sister experience and her husband with me, the man had to beat his wife just because the wife wasn't in the mood to have sex with him. These are the people you'll see and pray for such union for yourself. many issues in marriages, I've heard a lot concerning op experience, it exist. A lady friend of mine told me she doesnt really enjoy having sex that she always feels beaten by her boyfriend when they are having sex, nothing special about it, I was shocked and I asked her to repeat herself but she repeated as if she will adjust to like it later. I just pray I will not come across this type of woman, haven abstained from sex for years and later ended up abstaining again. I'm not going to take it easy my brother. The lady should try and seek for ways to improve herself on sex issues.

Well, you made point.

Religious people live as if they literally have another life after death. Myopically sad. The only thing you benefit from being a virgin is not being exposed to sexual diseases like HIV or unplanned pregnancy.

Sundays that you should lie in with your man and get the best of him,you are bothering going to church to shower a human being like you with your hard earned money,only because he can reasure you that you are saved or that you won't be sacked from work..

pweetixandy:
lol..awon oponu nairaland ti ni president..in d person of cjeriia. U are now d chairman

Took 1 look @ ur profile & culd not but marvel @ how d devil managed 2 pour so much filth in you. Well... I'll just pretend u don't exist

cjeriia:
Took 1 look @ ur profile & culd not but marvel @ how d devil managed 2 pour so much filth in you. Well... I'll just pretend u don't exist

next time..dnt go about nairaland dissing people u don't know.u could have just ignored my post and moved on,but no,u just had to say somethn nasty. I'll pretend u dnt exist as well. Rme

andromida:


I don't share the believe every other man will seek satisfaction outside just because his wife is learning the ropes of how to please him its still under a week. Not all men are wild animals.

You're right, not all men are animals. But EVERY man's patience has a limit.

paulobaze:
let me tell u dear.i registered as a nairalander 2day jst to hlp u save ur marriage because ii hv been following ur post resently.pls dont allow any third party to come into ur marriage in d name of settling u and ur husband because dats wot kills marriage nowadays.lemme start from d weddin eve to explain things to bath ur husband which u claimed u love is it a bath thing?i understand how d man felt because if u were to b in her shoes,u would hv done worst.d man confirmed it dat u re a virgin and as a mark of respect,he bought u a car to show dat u were a real virtuous woman.all d man needs is care and love wish i know u can do dat without any problem.u complain abt sex because u re new in d game but remember u guys jst wedded,dis is d man's time and also ur own time to enjoy sex because there will surely b a time wen ur husband will b tired of dis sex.all u need to do is pls jst pretend dat u dont hate sex and try to make it interesting 4 him.am sure dis guy loves u dr

Please don't tell her to pretend oh. It is way worse. She should have a Lil heart to heart talk with her hubby about her fears about sex (I still believe the man will be reasonable and listen to her). She must also be willing to loosen up and stop acting like some frigid wood. As for the man, I advise he be a bit more patient and show her the ropes gently. Better still, he allows her take a bit more control in bed. It will relax her mind, allay her fears a bit, and both sides get to have the best night of their lives.

I haven't read all the comments, when the first episode of this saga was posted, some people accused d poster of telling lies, but I believed d story, now reading this second part, it sees so untrue.
First of all, which pastor and his wife will be do jobless as to visit her immediately after service? Most pastors are usually busy for hours after service.
Secondly, how can someone face his "pastor" and say he was hoping his wife was practicing sex styles before the wedding?

andromida:
I honestly find it hard to believe this story. If its true i am sorry you are going through all this your husband seems insane to me from your story.

I am curious though have you never enjoyed the s3x with him?

Why is he communicating with you in such a violent way and why do you have to tolerate this nonsense? when the pastors wife told you to kneel and beg him you should have said NO. You can't just be crying and tolerating some extreme s3x just to please him look for a solution abeg since he is also a skilled manipulator and you've lost your voice you may need to go back home.

You don't have to pay any price you didn't commit any crime you only got married.

Are u sure u are saying the right thing?

The bible even say a woman should satisfy her husband. Am not saying its right for the man to rape her but I think the lady cause this to happen.


If its sex, food and character that is causing there problem. I think the wife should start knowing what she is doing rather than blaming the husband and saying she need a divorce.

I hate woman who let there emotion control there thinking. Divorce my foot.

folawiyoma:











Are u sure u are saying the right thing?

The bible even say a woman should satisfy her husband. Am not saying its right for the man to rape her but I think the lady cause this to happen.


If its sex, food and character that is causing there problem. I think the wife should start knowing what she is doing rather than blaming the husband and saying she need a divorce.

I hate woman who let there emotion control there thinking. Divorce my foot.

Every man who wants a happy wife should understand that women are emotional beings she cannot satisfy any husband if her emotions are off. She may become the agreeable wife that gives him sex any time he asks but she will not be happy. From what i am reading here i can see many men only care about submission not the full joy and happiness that comes with living.

It is important for a man to be able to catch his wife's emotions.Submission is easy if a woman is happy and can see that her welfare is priority in her man's life when she can't see that she starts fighting for herself because she feels alone and threatened hence the power struggle. I truly cannot see why this man married her he talks of love but all i see is a selfish man whose sexual needs MUST be met even if the wife is harmed in the process.

And the Bible said a man should love his wife as Christ loved the church we all know how much Christ loved the church- he died for the church.

The wife is to blame? What i am reading on this thread is alarming clear lack of accountability on the men's part which is a reflection of our society unfortunately it is these same men that are driving the society driving it to pieces and blaming the women anyway history is always on repeat button so we shall see.

andromida:


Every man who wants a happy wife should understand that women are emotional beings she cannot satisfy any husband if her emotions are off. She may become the agreeable wife that gives him sex any time he asks but she will not be happy. From what i am reading here i can see many men only care about submission not the full joy and happiness that comes with living.

It is important for a man to be able to catch his wife's emotions.Submission is easy if a woman is happy and can see that her welfare is priority in her man's life when she can't see that she starts fighting for herself because she feels alone and threatened hence the power struggle. I truly cannot see why this man married her he talks of love but all i see is a selfish man whose sexual needs MUST be met even if the wife is harmed in the process.

And the Bible said a man should love his wife as Christ loved the church we all know how much Christ loved the church- he died for the church.

The wife is to blame? What i am reading on this thread is alarming clear lack of accountability on the men's part which is a reflection of our society unfortunately it is these same men that are driving the society driving it to pieces and blaming the women anyway history is always on repeat button so we shall see.

Even thou I agree with you on the basic of the bible you just quote.


But do you remember the same bible said " the woman must be submissive to her husband' when I say submissive I mean everything including her money lols.

If I was ask to judge both of them.

The husband.
I will give the husband 15 lashes (offense - for not loving and adoring his wife the way he should)


The wife.

She need either a sexomilkymilky deliverance or baptism so that she can satisfy the soldier in her husband. (Offense- proud and not ready to learn new things even if it means to make her husband happy).


My advise to both of them is " if you want a smile give a smile first"


Pastor sexomilkymilky.

undercat:
@blesie

In all honesty, both of you are wrong.

Your hubby is dead wrong for forcing you to have sex. It does not matter that you are his wife; there is no rule that says a married couple must have sex. Sex is the norm, but technically its not a must.

On your own part, you should have discussed your stance on sex with your husband beforehand. I know nobody usually has such a discussion, but where you don't have any desire for sex with a man, you should let him know before you get married to him. I was stunned to read that on your wedding night you just bathed and proceeded to sleep. Who does that?!

That is still no excuse for him to rape you. He should really, utterly apologize for it.

If this marriage is to work, you have to be more forthcoming sexualli, since it appears that every time you guys have had sex, you did not really consent to it. Under our laws, divorce is actually permitted on grounds of denial of sex. Another ground for divorce is the abuse you have received.

In any discussion you guys have on what the way forward is, be ready to negotiate away some of your frigidity.

I'm just being curious here...are you attracted to him sexually? Didn't you guys ever make out before the wedding?

" there is no rule that says a married couple must have sex. Sex is the norm, but technically its not a must.

On your own part, you should have discussed your stance on sex with your husband beforehand. I know nobody usually has such a discussion, but where you don't have any desire for sex with a man, you should let him know before you get married to him."




Are u serious? Did you even know why God said multiply.

Why married when you know you don't want to have sex abi na confu den dey do there ni

Na wa o.

Sophyrocks:


Jeeeeeeezzzzzzz at the bolded!!! commanding your wife to come and bath you is a romantic move? are you this unromantic to say so? OMG. No wonder you people are supporting the man here. Gadammit!!!! You all are sooooooooo unromantic!!! GOSH!!

This is what a romantic man will do;

Whisper into her ears sweet nothings, start kissing her, carry her up to the bathroom like a real man should, start undressing her slowly, prepare the shower or bath tub, make a foamy leather and start massaging her body slowly from neck to toe then whisper into her ears to do the same and it goes on and on and on. i dnt need to go into details. they could even start there and then continue in the bedroom. You better pay me for these tips.

Gosh. No wonder!!

i pray you get a husband that would do all this after a tired day just to have sex