bukatyne:
Feminism is not about changing surnames and unhappy wives etc.

Bukatyne so you are still parading yourself around as a feminist when you didn't even know that feminism has a timeline which categorizes/separates its ideologies into waves?

What wave of feminism do you support/belong to? Is it also post-feminism like your uninformed friend?

VickyyB:

True...they dnt know what feminists is....
Feminism means fighting for equal right. They need their dictionary.

I believe you're the same girl I once engaged whom I asked this question:

Why take Chimamanda Adichie as your role model and not the woman that birthed you, the one you call mommy?

It's a simple question, one which you skirted around the last time and didn't answer clearly.

crackhaus:

I believe you're the same girl I once engaged whom I asked this question:

Why take Chimamanda Adichie as your role model and not the woman that birthed you, the one you call mommy?

It's a simple question, one which you skirted around the last time and didn't answer clearly.

They are both my role models.

They possess different attributes that i admire.

Is there any place that it's written I must have only a role model?

VickyyB:

They are both my role models.

They possess different attributes that i admire.

Is there any place that it's written I must have only a role model?

Chimamanda is a feminist who believes that boys and girls should play with the same toys, sit down the same way, and just basically be raised/treated the same way in all ramifications - she believes the girl child suffers discrimination, but she just recently got married and hasn't even raised her own daughter(s) in accordance with what she preaches, meaning that her upbringing must have been really frustrating for her as that's the only experience she can draw from to come to her conclusions about the girl child.

Now you were raised by a woman who has the experience in years to show for it, you were raised and have never been made to feel less than you are...right?

Which of these two women would you rather have as a role model based on family values and experience in marriage?

crackhaus:

Slow down and don't confuse yourself.

Chimamanda is a feminist who believes that boys and girls should play with the same toys, sit down the same way, and just should be raised/treated the same way in all ramifications - she believes the girl child suffers discrimination, she just recently got married and hasn't even raised her own daughter(s) in accordance with what she preaches, meaning that her upbringing must have been really frustrating for her as that's the only experience she can draw from to come to her conclusions about the girl child.

Now you were raised by a woman who has the experience in years to show for it, you were raised and never been made to feel less than you are...right?

Which of these two women would you rather have as a role model based on family values and experience in marriage?

She came from a well to do family....I don't understand what you mean by her upbringing must be really frustrating.
Btw, has she given birth? You don't know, maybe she doesn't want to publicise it...

I can open my leg if I want. You shouldn't draw a bad conclusion from what she mean.

Her statement means that a girl must sit anyhow she wishes- any guy that tries nonsense with her should be hit with anything she could lay hand on.

My mother is role model in some aspects.
Chimamanda is also a role model in most feminism and literature aspect.

VickyyB:

Trust me, be grateful that you were born in Nigeria. Go to some countries and see how women are treated, you will regret seeing men.

Africans can be classified as the originator of feminism because their women has never been oppressed even in the ancient times. They were warriors!

I just saw this on the previous page, na wah oo..

So Nigeria is already treating women fairly, but you're fighting for those in other countries when you haven't empowered that woman you pass by on the road who backs her child for hours under the sun while selling almost rotten fruits just to make ends meet?

Interesting

crackhaus:

Bukatyne so you are still parading yourself around as a feminist when you didn't even know that feminism has a timeline which categorizes/separates it's ideologies into waves?

What wave of feminism do you support/belong to? Is it also post-feminism like your uninformed friend?

Go and sleep

Do not have time for clueless back and forth

VickyyB:

This is where you are getting it all wrong.
Feminism isn't about fighting for yourself as an individual but all women in general.
A good man is always pro-feminist and they have regards for women.
Fear all anti-feminists because they are deadly.
You don't want to tell me that Chimamanda or Beyonce who are feminists get beaten by their husband.
Btw, they don't need to be a feminists inorder to be on the same rank with men because they are already there.
None of these Nairaland toothless bulldogs of men can equal them.
Feminists are fighting for women rights not to each on her own.
Trust me, be grateful that you were born in Nigeria. Go to some countries and see how women are treated, you will regret seeing men.

Africans can be classified as the originator of feminism because their women has never been oppressed even in the ancient times. They were warriors!

I'm not against women fighting for dia right my Dear but we Naija women carry ds feminism thing on our head like some girl carry dandruff on their head.

crackhaus:

I just saw this on the previous page, na wah oo..

So Nigeria is already treating women fairly, but you're fighting for those in other countries when you haven't empowered that woman you pass by on the road who backs her child for hours under the sun while selling almost rotten fruits just to make ends meet?

Interesting

How should i empower her?
I should tell her to leave her ends meet? Huh
They can attend any women empowerment programme.

Most of those women don't have husband. They usually birth out of wedlock.
So, there case is different.

VickyyB:

She came from a well to do family....I don't understand what you mean by her upbringing must be really frustrating.
Btw, has she given birth? You don't know, maybe she doesn't want to publicise it...

I can open my leg if I want. You shouldn't draw a bad conclusion from what she mean.

Her statement means that a girl must sit anyhow she wishes- any guy that tries nonsense with her should be hit with anything she could lay hand on.

My mother is role model in some aspects.
Chimamanda is also a role model in most feminism and literature aspect.

In your opinion, a well to do family automatically means no problems whatsoever or skeletons in their closet huh? I see how you think.
Anyway I only referenced the fact that if she has a stable and no-fault upbringing, where does she get her experience of girls being discriminated against?

Why is it that pseudo-feminists always have an outstanding upbringing with no discrimination whatsoever, but preach the loudest about the evils of patriarchy and girl-child discrimination?

Have you thought about this before?
Please pause and think about it, it's important!


Your role model is not a mother, you should know everything about her...

Wendy80:

I'm not against women fighting for dia right my Dear but we Naija women carry ds feminism thing on our head like some girl carry dandruff on their head.

I suppose you are a Christian. The way some pastors have turned Christainity to a charade is horrible but it doesn't make Christainity evil. If any woman wants to keep her name its her business. Infact in Islam women don't change their names does that make them feminist?
Last I know each human still had freedom of choice whatever that choice is and however annoying it is to us, as long as their choices doesnt infringe on our rights we respect it live and let them live and breath without smug and judgement

bukatyne:


Go and sleep

Do not have time for clueless back and forth

Madam feminist

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1857453_jonalaffing_jpega708b6fb7b1c54189c91ff44ca462616

aisha2:


Thank you but please I dont appreciate being used to castigate fellow women. They may hold different views or see things differently it doesn't make them wrong or bad. Besides, I share the feminist ideology because if it wasn't for feminism I wouldn't have the right to work, right to vote or the right to even share my views in public. These are the rights great women fought to give me and I owe it to the next generation to teach young women that they have a say in how their lives go.

It is also wrong to infer that other women have unhappy homes because they differ

You came back and changed your post?? Because you gave a one line reply before. ..

Ehhee, back to the issue .... I never used you to castigate anyone, also didn't castigate anyone, just said my opinion. .. Your name was in another paragraph. ....The only thing I like about you is that you're always truthful because many people here paint white black just so the opposite gender feel bad... Don't know what the competition is all about. .... They re shouting no change of name when many of them have already changed.. What do you call that? If you don't wnt to change your name, then it should be some kinda agreement between you and your spouse or religion and not cos you're a feminist or whatever, how does changing your name make you less or retaining your name make you equal to a man??


I don't know if feminists here actually fight for all these you mentioned because all I see are husband and wife issues.. Deceiving gullible ones... I rest my case and I won't mention you again

crackhaus:

In your opinion, a well to do family automatically means no problems whatsoever or skeletons in their closet huh? I see how you think.
Anyway I only referenced the fact that if she has a stable and no-fault upbringing, where does she get her experience of girls being discriminated against?

Why is it that pseudo-feminists always have an outstanding upbringing with no discrimination whatsoever, but preach the loudest about the evils of patriarchy and girl-child discrimination?

Have you thought about this before?
Please pause and think about it, it's important!


Your role model is not a mother, you should know everything about her...

She's learned and ought to know that...
I never grew up in the North but I know how most children are discriminated against...

I'm igbo but i didn't grow up in igboland neither am i fluent in speaking it but i have read lot of history on how igbo girls were discriminated in the ancient time- A mother tells her female child that her place is meant in kitchen...
-She has to respect a man even if she's older than him...
-Her husband has to be her mini-god...

Mind you, Chimamanda grew up in Nsukka and that's an exposure, she spent a short time in UNN(a year of her study) before she proceeded to USA to complete her studies.

MarvellousGod:
You came back and changed your post?? Because you gave a one line reply before. ..

Ehhee, back to the issue .... I never used you to castigate anyone, also didn't castigate anyone, just said my opinion. .. Your name was in another paragraph. ....The only thing I like about you is that you're always truthful because many people here paint white black just so the opposite gender feel bad... Don't know what the competition is all about. .... They re shouting no change of name when many of them have already changed.. What do you call that? If you don't wnt to change your name, then it should be some kinda agreement between you and your spouse or religion and not cos you're a feminist or whatever, how does changing your name make you less or retaining your name make you equal to a man??


I don't know if feminists here actually fight for all these you mentioned because all I see are husband and wife issues.. Deceiving gullible ones... I rest my case and I won't mention you again

I think you are trying so hard to impress men.

No feminist discouraged anybody here.

OP is a man and he asked a question, everybody answered what's in his or her mind. So, what are u saying again?.

MarvellousGod:
You came back and changed your post?? Because you gave a one line reply before. ..
Ehhee, back to the issue .... I never used you to castigate anyone, also didn't castigate anyone, just said my opinion. .. Your name was in another paragraph. ....The only thing I like about you is that you're always truthful because many people here paint white black just so the opposite gender feel bad... Don't know what the competition is all about. .... They re shouting no change of name when many of them have already changed.. What do you call that? If you don't wnt to change your name, then it should be some kinda agreement between you and your spouse and not cos you're a feminist or whatever, how does changing your name make you less or retaining your name make you equal to a man??
I don't know if feminists here actually fight for all these you mentioned because all I see are husband and wife issues.. Deceiving gullible ones... I rest my case and I won't mention you again

loo

I didn't change my post, I take exception to that rude remark, I woke up saw mention gave an immediate response went to do other things before I settled and read thoroughly through.
Its a choice a personal one and shouldn't give anyone headache fever or ebola. The reason for keeping it is also personal not one a woman has to constantly defend.

I don't do back and forth and you are actually the one who seems to be fighting and attacking those who disageee with you. One minute when you assume I am a puppet you like me next minute you are making rude remarks anyway enjoy yourself, have said my own on this issue.

Leave people to their decision and choices, if a woman keeps her name or not is not a national emergency, it wont cure cancer, it wont cure ebola or Hiv.

If only we spent more time funding and researching cures for these diseases than time spent worrying about people's choices.
Read up feminism free advice dont condemn something you don't even understand save for what people say. Feminist fought for the right for women to be able to talk in public, to be able to vote and to be able to go to work. If not for them we would be cooked up bare foot and pregnant, children rated above us

VickyyB:

How should i empower her?
I should tell her to leave her ends meet? Huh
They can attend any women empowerment programme.

Most of those women don't have husband. They usually birth out of wedlock.
So, there case is different.

You don't know how to empower less privileged women eh?

Well I can't tell a true feminist how to empower the women whose well-being she obviously cares about...

VickyyB:

I think you are trying so hard to impress men.

No feminist discouraged anybody here.

OP is a man and he asked a question, everybody answered what's in his or her mind. So, what are u saying again?.

To impress who? This is what I hate about this family section, if you're unbiased in your post then you're supporting the opposite sex and they strt attacking you as if we're here for some kinda competition..
I'm just saying my mind but as you have all said To each his own.....

Nonso23:
I heard that in french and spanish there are masculine and feminine articles preceeding adjectives (which are modified either as masculine and feminine too)

Are we not going to change those too? Say no to linguistic gender discrimination!

#justforthelaughs

That's for French and Spaniards.

If someone can explain the meaning of feminism to me, I will even know what to say
Ive asked severally on different threads but no one has given me a straight answer
I hear the word all the time but in a lot of different context
so I am asking again . . . . What exactly is feminism in the way we know it in our culture.
I also dont understand comparing beyonce with the average Nigerian woman
For a start even a non feminist American will look strange to the most uptight African man who has not left his viallage. . . .. So I dont really get the comparism.


What I do know is this . . .
men and women are different . . . Physically and It has also been proved mentally too. Note I didnt say better than each other. . . different but not better.
We all have different roles to play.
Thats how nature made it
ive been to zoos and safari parks and I see how animals who are not educated or have access to the internet do it.


@topic, if you have a man who doesnt mind, and you want to keep your maiden name .. then fine
But if your man does mind and you still want to keep your maiden name, then be ready for a lot of fights that may well have been avoided.

Nonso23:


Don't take that piece seriously.

Btw, speakers of both languages total nearly a billion people. That's like almost 1/7 of earth's population. It's a lot of people.

Do you mean you would feel discriminated against if a guy spoke to you in spanish or french with the appropriate articles before the gendered adjectives

I can't say!

Reason- I don't even know the word...

Chaircover hehe ... This UNA question you've been asking since 2011 sef, you'll neverget an answer I swear.

What's going on here?...

Ewuro4:
Chaircover hehe ... This UNA question YOUVE bee asking since 2011 sef, you'll neverget an answer I swear.

What's goig on here?...

My sistaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa welcome back

You are my witness . .
Ive been trying to understand but no one tells me
I just hear the words feminism, gender bashing and a lot of fights on almost all the threads I open but I dont know why

@ aisha2, where did I insult you in my post and who did I attack here? I can't even insult or attack someone I can't see, it's insane and I can't rem doing it.. I was only stating my point like everyone else...

All those you mentioned about feminism are wonderful and i'm equally in support...Feminism posts should be in the politics section because it's a national/international issue.. But all issues relating to feminism I see here are about families hence my comments. .. No matter what, a husband will still have some kinda control over the wife, there can't be two captains in a boat, Not like maltreating the wife or something..... I'm just making my point so that some 'gullible' people who digest all they see here don't go fighting their husbands.. I hope you have understood me now.... peace and happy xmas

VickyyB:

She's learned and ought to know that...
I never grew up in the North but I know how most children are discriminated against...

I'm igbo but i didn't grow up in igboland neither am i fluent in speaking it but i have read lot of history on how igbo girls were discriminated in the ancient time- A mother tells her female child that her place is meant in kitchen...
-She has to respect a man even if she's older than him...
-Her husband has to be her mini-god...

Mind you, Chimamanda grew up in Nsukka and that's an exposure, she spent a short time in UNN(a year of her study) before she proceeded to USA to complete her studies.

This girl though, pay attention to what you type during an argument with me.

Aren't you the one who typed this?

VickyyB:

Africans can be classified as the originator of feminism because their women has never been oppressed even in the ancient times. They were warriors!

Now that aside, what exactly is so wrong and evil in a woman who does any of these?

1. A mother tells her female child that her place is meant in kitchen...

You took this literally, so wrong - You should know this statement implies that a woman should be responsible for cooking her husband's meals, she should do it gracefully & joyfully without grudge.
What is wrong in this?
For God sake, it's her husband...the man she married with the intention of starting a family, so what's the problem?

2. She has to respect a man even if she's older than him...

Now what's wrong with respecting everyone regardless of age, race, or gender?
Is it not common sense to respect everyone as you would like to be respected even by those older than you?
This is wrong?

3. Her husband has to be her mini-god...

Again you taking this literally - it basically means taking her husband and holding him in high regard, respecting him and supporting him during his trying times without looking down on him.
This is a bad thing?


As for Chimamanda Adichie, my point has been made on her - we should stop talking about her already, she's your feminist role model? Fine...
But remember that family is the bedrock of society, not feminism...which is why you should rather look up to those who have weathered the storms and had at least 20years holding their family together.

chaircover:


My sistaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa welcome back

You are my witness . .
Ive been trying to understand but no one tells me
I just hear the words feminism, gender bashing and a lot of fights on almost all the threads I open but I dont know why

LOL somethings will never change on NL family section
How una dey?

Make I commot for here before they knock my dentures off abeg

Wendy80:

I'm not against women fighting for dia right my Dear but we Naija women carry ds feminism thing on our head like some girl carry dandruff on their head.

only on nairaland... I don't know why it's so hard to see one outside nairaland

MarvellousGod:
You came back and changed your post?? Because you gave a one line reply before. ..

Ehhee, back to the issue .... I never used you to castigate anyone, also didn't castigate anyone, just said my opinion. .. Your name was in another paragraph. ....The only thing I like about you is that you're always truthful because many people here paint white black just so the opposite gender feel bad... Don't know what the competition is all about. .... They re shouting no change of name when many of them have already changed.. What do you call that? If you don't wnt to change your name, then it should be some kinda agreement between you and your spouse or religion and not cos you're a feminist or whatever, how does changing your name make you less or retaining your name make you equal to a man??


I don't know if feminists here actually fight for all these you mentioned because all I see are husband and wife issues.. Deceiving gullible ones... I rest my case and I won't mention you again

@bolded , exactly. Too many people making mountains out of molehills. If the man agrees you keep your name then fine. But not as if changing your name makes you less of a woman. Haba.

This thread is very funny... . and people wonder why I do not take NL femnists serious.

Most times they sound like Trolls.