bukatyne:


Ok then

thank you


happy boxing day

Enjoy the holidays

You are one of Nairalands best especially in the family section to be a feminist.

okotv:
thank you


happy boxing day

Enjoy the holidays

You are one of Nairalands best especially in the family section to be a feminist.

Thanks a lot

Enjoy the holidays too

Reading comments *picks my glasses*

No it is not compulsory.

zizman:
is it compulsory? where did this tradition originate from? if the world is calling for gender equality why must
this be so? doesn't this make a lady look like a "property" of her man? what are your thoughts ?

If you really want genuine answers, I suggest you rephrase your question thus:

How many of you married women on Nairaland (family section) took on the surname of your husband after marriage?

I assure you that all of them have adopted their husband's name, including the ones who've been coming at us with phony answers so far.
They will also defend their choice in adopting their husband's surname as opposed to defending the opinion that it does not matter whose name a married woman chooses to take on.

FrancisTony:

What thread exactly?
It's more like accusing someone of being gay because he's pro gay.
I replied the girl because her post reeks inferiority complex and she used to insult Nigerian/African women.....

I cant remember them now. But its more than one.
I have no issue with you replying her. You sounded feminine that's all. And how did she insult Nigeria/African women? Just curious.

Seriously.....What I believe by being equal doesn't imply sexual organs.
Woman A has big brèast while Woman B has small one- It doesn't mean one is inferior to other. Same as in men.
Using organs to argue doesn't fit in.
Equal right means Men and Women should be seen as the same in the soceity. Thoughts about them shouldn't differ.

Lol.
You took my statement literally.
Anyway...

Yes thoughts about male and females should differ immensely. They both have different roles to play in the society. Trying to see them as "the same" in a bid to be politically correct is to try and create a social utopia. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE.

Ermm, the girl post struck me when she used Beyonce fame, popularity and whatever to insult other women that share different views from her.
How does surname really matter in human being? I don't think it really does, except if the woman is a celebrity i.e her name and surname would be needed.
You might not even be aware that your wife is answering another name.
I'm still in my teen years.

Oh. I see.

There's no where I argued they should bear their mothers name.
It's weird to answer their mothers name.
My stance is that a woman shouldn't be forced to change her fathers name except if she's willing to do so.

And most people assume she is willing to do so when she meets a man she loves. She loves him so much that she is willing to trade her father's name for his own and leave her father's house to his house, and stop depending on her father but depend on him instead. That's why she changes her name to his own.

Lmao! I didn't remove it now. It has been long I did that.
More like some Male Nairalanders were playing with their genders and I also did so.
I finally removed it when Seun banned Tosyne2much for changing from male to female.

I didn't mean you removed it just now. It was a while ago, yes. But why the deception in the first place? You even put a female pic then if i remember correctly.

Royver:

I cant remember them now. But its more than one.
I have no issue with you replying her. You sounded feminine that's all. And how did she insult Nigeria/African women? Just curious..

All these gender equality talks!

The westerners who introduced the subject, take on their husbands name. Do you have more money, success and fame than Beyonce? Who proudly calls herself Mrs carter on her tours?

The females in under developed countries who don't fully grasp the subject, are causing problems for themselves.

Property of a man, what is wrong in being his property? So long as that property is not being misused or abused, kini big deal?

At first emboldened, that's an insult.

At second emboldened, even though she's right, her post is misleading because many notable white women in a developed country didn't change their surname.

FrancisTony:

At first emboldened, that's an insult.

At second emboldened, even though she's right, her post is misleading because many notable white women in a developed country didn't change their surname.

Well, to be honest, No they don't have more money or fame or success than Beyonce. And yet she answers Mrs Carter. I guess people are looking at it from a "Pride" angle.

At second emboldened,

her post is misleading because many notable white women in a developed country didn't change their surname.

I dont see how this relates to her post.


Personally, If a guy agrees to marry a girl that chooses to retain her name in marriage, then its the guy's decision and there is no problem. I doubt many men will agree to that though. And this includes the "civilized" white men in the west.
63.3 percent of Men’s Health followers said they would be upset if their wives kept their maiden names.
96.3 percent of Men’s Health followers said they wouldn’t take a woman’s last name if she asked them to.

Statistics aside, I wouldn't do it either.

crackhaus:

If you really want genuine answers, I suggest you rephrase your question thus:

How many of you married women on Nairaland (family section) took on the surname of your husband after marriage?

90% if not all took on their husband's name.... I pity females that listen to these feminists here.. Most of them forming feminists kiss their husband's a$s at home..... Again, If they married lovely men, had wonderful marriages, they wouldn't even be talking about gender equality and stuffs. Most people talking about gender equality are those suffering in their marriages hence the call for gender equality in order to relief their burden. ...

Family section is becoming so boring with these gender fights, most people are biased...

I only come here to read objective posts from the likes of aisha2, Chaircover, etc....

yeahh, I'm female. ..

MarvellousGod:
90% if not all took on their husband's name.... I pity females that listen to these feminists here.. Most of them forming feminists kiss their husband's a$s at home..... Again, If they married lovely men, had wonderful marriages, they wouldn't even be talking about gender equality and stuffs. Most people talking about gender equality are those suffering in their marriages hence the call for gender equality in order to relief their burden. ...

Family section is becoming so boring with these gender fights, most people are biased...

I only come here to read objective posts from the likes of aisha2, Chaircover, etc....

yeahh, I'm female. ..

I am an advocate of whatever works for anyone
I use both names. Didn't do a change of name. Works for us

VickyyB:

Same way they should leave us for guys that know what we want and doesn't care about any name we answer.

I doubt if there are Nigerian guys that are interested in struggling to marry women who are ready to wrestle over adopting their husbands name. Am all for women being treated as humans but this name issue makes no single sense to me, it's not worth the fight.

byvan:




I doubt if there are Nigerian guys that are interested in struggling to marry women who are ready to wrestle over adopting their husbands name. Am all for women being treated as humans but this name issue makes no single sense to me, it's not worth the fight.

Ok...Many Nigerian female celebrities hyphenated their surname and some didn't change at all. What do you have to say?
Only poor wretched and frustrated guys kill over what doesn't mean anything.
Not all guys r misogynist.

VickyyB:

Ok...Many Nigerian female celebrities hyphenated their name. What you say?

Only poor wretched and frustrated guys kill over what doesn't mean anything.

Not all guys r misogynist.

Am talking of the average Naija lady that chose to let this name thing ruin something good that she has going. We have more average people than celebrities, so my focus is on regular people.

MarvellousGod:
90% if not all took on their husband's name.... I pity females that listen to these feminists here.. Most of them forming feminists kiss their husband's a$s at home..... Again, If they married lovely men, had wonderful marriages, they wouldn't even be talking about gender equality and stuffs. Most people talking about gender equality are those suffering in their marriages hence the call for gender equality in order to relief their burden. ...

Family section is becoming so boring with these gender fights, most people are biased...

I only come here to read objective posts from the likes of aisha2, Chaircover, etc....

yeahh, I'm female. ..

@Bold,

Interesting

byvan:




Am talking of the average Naija lady that chose to let this name thing ruin something good that she has going. We have more average people than celebrities, so my focus is on regular people.

I have a married female cousin who didn't do change of name or whatever.

She bears our surname anywhere e.g banks etc. Not as if she's a feminist. Her husband doesn't care.

She only hyphenated her facebook surname.

I have 2 close friends who are sisters and are always like 'I will never change my name for any man, for what na'. One of them got married and truly refused to change her name and she's always having issues with her husband cos of name. A year after the other sister got married to a billionaire from dia town. Omo she dumped her father's name like it's Hot cos her husband's name(won't mention) is a door opener anywhere, anyday. I reminded her of her statement yrs back and she was like who no like better thing

VickyyB:

I have a married female cousin who didn't do change of name or whatever.

She bears our surname anywhere e.g banks etc. Not as if she's a feminist. Her husband doesn't care.

She only hyphenated her facebook surname.

Seriously, i don't see any big deal in this name thing, i simply changed my name after wedding and hyphenated on FB. I don't see it as something one should fight over, i adhere to traditions that doesn't obstruct my life in any way and adopting my husband's is no biggie. I will look at a woman fighting this with a raised brow, if a husband doesn't care about whichever the wife prefers, that's Ok but fighting about names is out of it.

Wendy80:
I have 2 close friends who are sisters and are always like 'I will never change my name for any man, for what na'. One of them got married and truly refused to change her name and she's always having issues with her husband cos of name. A year after the other sister got married to a billionaire from dia town. Omo she dumped her father's name like it's Hot cos her husband's name(won't mention) is a door opener anywhere, anyday. I reminded her of her statement yrs back and she was like who no like better thing

Some ladies just don't know where to fight.

MarvellousGod:
90% if not all took on their husband's name.... I pity females that listen to these feminists here.. Most of them forming feminists kiss their husband's a$s at home..... Again, If they married lovely men, had wonderful marriages, they wouldn't even be talking about gender equality and stuffs. Most people talking about gender equality are those suffering in their marriages hence the call for gender equality in order to relief their burden. ...

Family section is becoming so boring with these gender fights, most people are biased...

I only come here to read objective posts from the likes of aisha2, Chaircover, etc....

yeahh, I'm female. ..

I agree to the bolded. Most of d big madams in my office who are hardcore feminist are not happy in dia marriage. U hear thns like 'I can't take dat from my husband' or My husband can't try that with me. Its still them that will come to work with black eye and tell us they fell down. The day one husband came to the office to warn his wife to stop calling his girlfriend on phone eye clear the newly married listening to them...no be small gobe

byvan:




Some ladies just don't know where to fight.

Don't mind them. By the time d matter got to her Dad and he asked her if his wife her mother is still bearing her maiden name? She just de shine eyes.

byvan:

Seriously, i don't see any big deal in this name thing, i simply changed my name after wedding and hyphenated on FB. I don't see it as something one should fight over, i adhere to traditions that doesn't obstruct my life in any way and adopting my husband's is no biggie. I will look at a woman fighting this with a raised brow, if a husband doesn't care about whichever the wife prefers, that's Ok but fighting about names is out of it.

True.. To each on their own.
It doesn't mean some wretched guys should come on this thread and starting abusing ladies that didn't change their name.
This topic isn't a shouldn't be a subject of discussion.
It should be how it pleases who- to each on her own. It's something that matters between husband and wife.

FrancisTony:

1) I'm a male.

2) Chimamanda is a role model to both single and married.
...just so you don't know, Chimamanda is married to Dr. Ivara Isege.

Can you please elucidate on how Chimamanda is a role model to single and married people, including me.

VickyyB:

True.. To each on their own.
It doesn't mean some wretched guys should come on this thread and starting abusing ladies that didn't change their name.
This topic isn't a shouldn't be a subject of discussion.
It should be how it pleases who- to each on her own. It's something that matters between husband and wife.

My dear abuse for NL nah normal thing, if they bash me on days I need some excitement, i indulge them and entertain others . Some of these abusive dudes can only speak here,in real life dey be lucozade.

byvan:




My dear abuse for NL nah normal thing, if they bash me on days I need some excitement, i indulge them and entertain others . Some of these abusive dudes can only speak here,in real life dey be lucozade.

Lool.

Wendy80:

Don't mind them. By the time d matter got to her Dad and he asked her if his wife her mother is still bearing her maiden name? She just de shine eyes.

Stuffs like this is why feminism this and that keeps popping up, i don't concern myself with these ideologies, all I know is that am not created to be underneath anyone 's boot, so I won't accept ill treatment just for being a woman. I think some ladies are stretching this feminism thing a bit too far.

byvan:




Stuffs like this is why feminism this and that keeps popping up, i don't concern myself with these ideologies, all I know is that am not created to be underneath anyone 's boot, so I won't accept ill treatment just for being a woman. I think some ladies are stretching this feminism thing a bit too far.

I keep telling pple if U marry a good Man, u won't need all ds feminist ideologies

Wendy80:

I keep telling pple if U marry a good Man, u won't need all ds feminist ideologies

Thank you!!! It will never even occur to you, i started hearing this name adoption issue thing on NL. It really seemed that most women have resolved to fighting useless battles.

Wendy80:

I keep telling pple if U marry a good Man, u won't need all ds feminist ideologies

This is where you are getting it all wrong.
Feminism isn't about fighting for yourself as an individual but all women in general.
A good man is always pro-feminist and they have regards for women.
Fear all anti-feminists because they are deadly.
You don't want to tell me that Chimamanda or Beyonce who are feminists get beaten by their husband.
Btw, they don't need to be a feminists inorder to be on the same rank with men because they are already there.
None of these Nairaland toothless bulldogs of men can equal them.
Feminists are fighting for women rights not to each on her own.
Trust me, be grateful that you were born in Nigeria. Go to some countries and see how women are treated, you will regret seeing men.

Africans can be classified as the originator of feminism because their women has never been oppressed even in the ancient times. They were warriors!

Feminism is not about changing surnames and unhappy wives etc.

bukatyne:
Feminism is not about changing surnames and unhappy wives etc.

True...they dnt know what feminists is....
Feminism means fighting for equal right. They need their dictionary.

MarvellousGod:
90% if not all took on their husband's name.... I pity females that listen to these feminists here.. Most of them forming feminists kiss their husband's a$s at home..... Again, If they married lovely men, had wonderful marriages, they wouldn't even be talking about gender equality and stuffs. Most people talking about gender equality are those suffering in their marriages hence the call for gender equality in order to relief their burden. ...

Family section is becoming so boring with these gender fights, most people are biased...

yeahh, I'm female. ..

Lol...yea I know you're female

Lovely comment BTW - it's things like these I keep saying, but trust the guilty or those allergic to unfiltered criticism to see me as the enemy...not that i mind though because I see no reason why anyone should come on NL to kiss anonymous azz or impress anyone to be liked - all of that should be left for real life

Keep your transparency intact MarvellousGod, it comes in handy on this board with too many divergent and misleading opinions which is enough to drown very impressionable folks.

MarvellousGod:
90% if not all took on their husband's name.... I pity females that listen to these feminists here.. Most of them forming feminists kiss their husband's a$s at home..... Again, If they married lovely men, had wonderful marriages, they wouldn't even be talking about gender equality and stuffs. Most people talking about gender equality are those suffering in their marriages hence the call for gender equality in order to relief their burden. ...
Family section is becoming so boring with these gender fights, most people are biased...
I only come here to read objective posts from the likes of aisha2, Chaircover, etc....
yeahh, I'm female. ..

Thank you but please I dont appreciate being used to castigate fellow women. They may hold different views or see things differently it doesn't make them wrong or bad. Besides, I share the feminist ideology because if it wasn't for feminism I wouldn't have the right to work, right to vote or the right to even share my views in public. These are the rights great women fought to give me and I owe it to the next generation to teach young women that they have a say in how their lives go.

It is also wrong to infer that other women have unhappy homes because they differ