Hello strangers! It's good to finally be a nairalander, the beauty of this forum I think is the ability to get anonymous advice from anonymous people on any topic, no matter how ridiculous!! questions you can't ask your folks in person, you can do here and i'm sure many people have been helped so after years of being a guest, I am now a member and here is my own ridiculous but true and disturbing situation.

I met my girlfriend in year one at our university, what attracted me to her is her beauty and brains which is the major things I like in girls because i'm a nerd myself, but as we have kept on dating I increasingly grow jealous of her success over me, she is the best in class, i'm second...beats me at every test, assignments, exams, etc, we are in 3rd year now and the jealousy is getting worse, but yet I love her so much...i don't understand myself. I love her so much but once she passes me in anything, jealousy and hate flashes into my mind. Pls, what could be the meaning of this? I need help before I murder my girlfriend in final year if she graduates with a higher degree than myself.

Break up with her.

LadyX:
Break up with her.

not an option...love her too much.

Break up and patch up again.

lewis007:
not an option...love her too much.

I know it's hard, but try to see her success as your success too. That will help to reduce the jealous you have towards her. If you convince yourself that she's part of you, it will help.

I understand u bro .once in ur shoes.kindly see it as a beautiful thing...love her d more.........but don't share ur academy secret wif her again.

giv urself a break of 2wks nd c how far u will fare without her...

It's your male ego.

Jealousy is part of human nature, over jealous and the act is what is not good.

You should build your self-esteem and don't be insecure, she's your girlfriend you love her you shouldn't be jealous of her success instead rejoice with her at least you are also intelligent.

Don't take this to your marriage.

Anyway...



Sai Buhari

Sai Osinbajo

Rubbish!!!!
if she graduates and gets a job before you will u hang yourself??
if she becomes richer than u ,will u eat a live wire?
now where's d silly love u re talking about when u can't stand her success. the truth is u are egocentric, get a dullard girlfriend nd ur jealousy ends,she'll always b behind u.

englishmart:
that's your problem

TROLL

Jesus this is serious...You need a therapist

Aaaah shoki!!!

LadyX:


I know it's hard, but try to see her success as your success too. That will help to reduce the jealous you have towards her. If you convince yourself that she's part of you, it will help.

somebody told me the same thing and I tried but it did'nt work. We are currently writing our exams and yesterday we wrote a course on computer and you see score immediately afterwards, I scored 58 out of 70, only to come out to hear she scored 65. I avoided her and went home and have'nt picked her calls since, writing this I feel like a 5 toddler. Not an undergraduate, should I tell her how I feel? Will that work?

Op how can you be jealous of the success of the one you claim to love .....that isn't love

Nna lekwanu ifeanyi oh

Hmmmmm

Igwevalentine:
Jesus this is serious...You need a therapist

Is it that serious?

Dude you should be happy that she is progressing na.
Mtcheeew i think say na better thing you wan talk sef.... oloshi radarada

Dear OP,

U shud be happy for the success of others. If you really love her and when I say love I don't mean "p**is feelings" u'd see her success as yours as well.
If u want to score higher than her, work harder than u are doing right now. Jealousy is a stupid thing.

lewis007:
somebody told me the same thing and I tried but it did'nt work. We are currently writing our exams and yesterday we wrote a course on computer and you see score immediately afterwards, I scored 58 out of 70, only to come out to hear she scored 65. I avoided her and went home and have'nt picked her calls since, writing this I feel like a 5 toddler. Not an undergraduate, should I tell her how I feel? Will that work?

Don't feel like a toddler. We all have weaknesses; no one is perfect. Recognizing and accepting your problem is the first step towards finding a solution

I don't know whether telling her is a good idea because I don't know how she will take it. If it goes well she will help you to overcome this problem.

Bro, dont be surprised if there are some qualities that you have that she also wishes to possess. In a way, you have painted her as if she is perfect but while she may be perfect in her academics there are other areas in which you can beat her. I think it is a good thing that she is spurring you on to do even better in your academics though.


In our second year in school, a friend of mine was dating a girl in another faculty who was the best student in her class. Her GP was almost times two of his and we used to jokingly make fun of him. What my friend did was to apply as a volunteer in the school campus radio station. after a few months he was on air as an OAP. Within a year he was already very very popular on campus and anytime he took a stroll with the girl different people would be hailing him and demanding his attention. At that point it was d girl who would feel inferior despite being a scholar. When she graduated a year before us, because she read a 4 year course, those that came to celebrate and take pictures with her because she was the known girlfriend of a campus 'celebrity' were more than those who came because she was d best in her class.

Even though you have said you are a nerd, life in school is not all about academics only. Instead of being jealous of her success find another thing to do outside academics, channel your emotions into it and make an outstanding success of it. It might be faculty football, politics, competitions or whatever.

hmmmmmmmmm

your jealousy big oooo

my advice: break up!!!

Many thanks to all of you who have responded...your contributions have given me a lot to think about...i love this forum.

charijee:
Op how can you be jealous of the success of the one you claim to love .....that isn't love

he might be in love, but he needs to deal with lack of self confidence and and jealousness...:/

Dimples192:
It's your male ego.

seconded..

Instead of u to be proud of her

Wad plenty guys are looking for