He does not have money for marital rites but will have money to take care of the kids she will make? Until ladies will stop seeing this contract called marriage as the ultimate thing in life, men will continue insulting their personality. She is yet to get confused because more confusion is yet to confront her by the time.she is through with making babies and the non existing expected to be husband will claim those kids without marrying her. What rubbish!

Medunah:
Its always the friend, brother or cousin

Gbam

# 1 rule for women never accept conditional love/relationship, the guy should love you for who you are. She should tell the guy to to hell with his money.

LadyAmaka:
He does not have money for marital rites but will have money to take care of the kids she will make? Until ladies will stop seeing this contract called marriage as the ultimate thing in life, men will continue insulting their personality. She is yet to get confused because more confusion is yet to confront her by the time.she is through with making babies and the non existing expected to be husband will claim those kids without marrying her. What rubbish!

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Read the post one more time.

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Angelina996:
That condition is totally out of it joor!
If she truly knw the God she's serving, then let her uphold her faith in God and do the right.
Why will the man say he doesn't have bride price?!
BRIDE PRICE! Does anyone knw the meaning of that?
Like it has been said earlier by some ppu, let them "join" their purse and do a small wedding with their parent's blessing, that's enuff and better than sayin he doesn't have money for bride price...afterwards they can do the kind of wedding they so mch want.
...But bride price FIRST...(It doesn't have to be much/grand!)

Before you talk, you know how much her father dey ask for bride price?

Maybe she come for Igbo family were papa and mama dey use pinkin dey clear poverty.

So no just dey shout say he no get bride price. Na the demand too much.



As for me, not less than 5k I go pay for bride price if I won marry any girl

MzCorleone:
So you ve dated a few huh?



You can send me a PM

yup a few...my email isn't connected...send me an hello or wats up...so I would start up a chat via my email...

Ralphlauren:


yeye boy.

4by4celutemamaswe

wether you like it or not sex before marriage is a sin.rem he is broke so how will he perform as a father??

Once babies not just baby starts coming it will be difficult to save the money for marriage. Besides u don't have to a lavishing wedding cos u owe no one

Dats no excuse..dey shuld put moni togeda nd do introduction first .& den av a court marriage first , go to dia pastor let him bless dia marriage first,dt cn happen in pastors office in d presence of two or more witnesses,at least get some comittment...b4 she gts pregnant..odawise he cn stil wake up one day n leave her(baby mama tins) all dese wont cost much..... & wen dey now av moni he cn complete d traditional rites and av a proper wedding...#shikena

ItsAnderson:

A close female friend of mine confided in me that her fiance wants to pay for her bride price and do other traditional rights. But he wants her to first have babies now because of her age. She is in her late 30s but she says she does not want to have her babes out of wedlock, Dat none of her sisters did dat and its against her doctrine but the man insists he doesn't have money for wedding now so they should first start making kids before marriage so it doesn't get difficult when she gets older.

She is confused as to what to do?
Please any suggestions?

For the fact that the man wants to capitalize on her age to get what he wants, your friend should dumb his a*ss as soon as possible.
If she falls for this trap, the man is not gonna marry her and will dump her later on for a younger woman.

If the man actually loves her, he will work hard to raise money for the wedding. Court marriage is cheap. He has no reason.

When you have children with a man who's not your husband, you guys are just boyfriend girlfriend. And in such a relationship the man's responsibilities are minimal unlike in marriage. He can dump you and the children anything to someone else because you're not his wife.

Tell her to not make this mistake, unless she just wants kids.

ItsAnderson:

A close female friend of mine confided in me that her fiance wants to pay for her bride price and do other traditional rights. But he wants her to first have babies now because of her age. She is in her late 30s but she says she does not want to have her babes out of wedlock, Dat none of her sisters did dat and its against her doctrine but the man insists he doesn't have money for wedding now so they should first start making kids before marriage so it doesn't get difficult when she gets older.

She is confused as to what to do?
Please any suggestions?

Do you not know that pregnancy and raising children can sometimes be mor expensive than marriage?What if the lady has to go thru CS which can cost as much as 300k -500k,what then will he do??Be wise

Tell her not to fear at all!
My aunt married as a 39 year old virgin. And she is still happily married. Let him go and hug power plant if he can't accept her opinions.
Come to think of it, she's about to marry a domineering, selfish and stubborn individual! Let her reconsider it.
Hey, i also know a woman that gave birth at fifty. After 25 years of marriage. Does her husband have seven heads?

rokiatu:
So that's the price she have to pay before marrying him? What sort of dumb azz condition is this my people?


Let her stick to her belief. He either go with it or leave it. Unless offcourse she's desperate for marriage.

I don't think you read d topic well. Do you know / understand what it means for someone to be in her late 30s?

MzCorleone:
He made it an-agree-or-leave situation which shouldn't be so. Inasmuch as the lady is 30,she can still give birth,complications start when she is 35 and above. How sure are we that the man ll even still marry her? If he's looking for a baby mama,he should just say so and stop pretending he cares for the lady in question.





What then is the essence of marriage if such propositions are accepted?

This is a hidden statement..

The guy does not want a barren wife and probably afraid the lady is likely to have used up her womb.

She's close to 40 and the guy no want one chance .
.but how do women wait that long?

MzCorleone:
That's the problem,he knows she's desperate and he's playing on her emotion.

Aren't guys the most wicked beings ever sometimes? A woman who must have passed through different traumas, had so many heartbreaks and disappointments, but one guy will just come from nowhere to play with her emotions , he sees the age and the pain, but he won't even pity her for those reasons alone

And let me guess, the dumb girl will entertain the thought of life in poverty.

Teempakguy:
Tell her not to fear at all!
My aunt married as a 39 year old virgin. And she is still happily married. Let him go and hug power plant if he can't accept her opinions.
Come to think of it, she's about to marry a domineering, selfish and stubborn individual! Let her reconsider it.
Hey, i also know a woman that gave birth at fifty. After 25 years of marriage. Does her husband have seven heads?

I love your post.

Teempakguy:
Tell her not to fear at all!
My aunt married as a 39 year old virgin. And she is still happily married. Let him go and hug power plant if he can't accept her opinions.
Come to think of it, she's about to marry a domineering, selfish and stubborn individual! Let her reconsider it.
Hey, i also know a woman that gave birth at fifty. After 25 years of marriage. Does her husband have seven heads?

I love your post.

Medunah:
Its always the friend, brother or cousin

Don't mind them.. They are coward guys inside d hood

rokiatu:
So that's the price she have to pay before marrying him? What sort of dumb azz condition is this my people?


Let her stick to her belief. He either go with it or leave it. Unless offcourse she's desperate for marriage.

did U read and comprehend the issue? She's approaching menopause and he really wants to marry her but is broke right now... He's scared that by the time he has the money, she might not be able to bear any kids EVER again.... The guy might genuinely want to be the one but condition is making him bend...


P.S... Dont Ban me for speaking my mind o because all these mods, una sabi....... Hmmmmm make I just lock up....

@Post

The lady should forget the loser in question. Nigerians marry for all the wrong reasons that is why the divorce rate keeps climbing. Should people marry all because of kids? Can kids not be gotten biologically without signing the dotted line? The man can smell the lady's desperation hence the condition. A broke man who cannot afford a wedding but wants to raise a child. Is he not aware that children are expensive? The lady in question should just adopt a child or two and call it a day. Does she think that being a glorified house help, I mean wife to some Nigerian-bred misogynist husband is better than being single and free?

LadyAmaka:
He does not have money for marital rites but will have money to take care of the kids she will make? Until ladies will stop seeing this contract called marriage as the ultimate thing in life, men will continue insulting their personality. She is yet to get confused because more confusion is yet to confront her by the time.she is through with making babies and the non existing expected to be husband will claim those kids without marrying her. What rubbish!

GBAM!! I pity ladies who are too stupid to fall for such demands. The man is indirectly saying that he wants her as his baby mama and also she will be the one solely financially responsible over the kids they will breed. This lady better run for her life fast!!!

I don't understand this. How can someone have the money to take care of a child (I suppose it is so for him to ask her to get pregnant) but doesn't have money for marriage ceremony (which one can always plan to suit his pocket)

Even if it is court wedding n bride price please do to avoid stories that touch

Erm wait o, he says he doesnt av money for wedding, so is raising kids going to be for free? scam of life, d guy simply wana av sex with her and bounce.

honeric01:


This is a hidden statement..

The guy does not want a barren wife and probably afraid the lady is likely to have used up her womb.

She's close to 40 and the guy no want one chance .
.but how do women wait that long?

Must he marry her? If he's scared of marrying a barren woman,he should look for some other 'fruitful' woman. Besides they can always adopt if he truly cares for her,he shouldn't use child bearing as a yard stick.

MzCorleone:
He made it an-agree-or-leave situation which shouldn't be so. Inasmuch as the lady is 30,she can still give birth,complications start when she is 35 and above. How sure are we that the man ll even still marry her? If he's looking for a baby mama,he should just say so and stop pretending he cares for the lady in question.





What then is the essence of marriage if such propositions are accepted?

I didnt want to quote your first post but seeing this other one, I knew I was born to quote this very one from you....

Did u even read the entire post word for word? Just incase, let me do small flash back for you...."SHE IS IN HER LATE 30's".... By the time the money comes, she might already be in well into menopause... Also, from the way the stuff is narrated, the guy seems to be pleading with her and not forcing or asking her to leave.... I can actually see him on his knees begging cos he wants to have his family with her and her alone.

Teempakguy:
Tell her not to fear at all!
My aunt married as a 39 year old virgin. And she is still happily married. Let him go and hug power plant if he can't accept her opinions.
Come to think of it, she's about to marry a domineering, selfish and stubborn individual! Let her reconsider it.
Hey, i also know a woman that gave birth at fifty. After 25 years of marriage. Does her husband have seven heads?

Thank you jare!! That useless man wants her to live a poverty stricken life where she will be the one fending for the kids. How can a man claim not to have money for a wedding yet he wants kids? Is he o.k at all? He must be really s.tupid.

tchidi:
Every nairalander has a friend that wants to ask a question..... this una 'friends' no de open account and ask by themselves ni?

I just tire.... Nobody dey ever gree to get d wahala....

INDUSTRIALFAN:
I didnt want to quote your first post but seeing this other one, I knew I was born to quote this very one from you....

Did u even read the entire post word for word? Just incase, let me do small flash back for you...."SHE IS IN HER LATE 30's".... By the time the money comes, she might already be in well into menopause... Also, from the way the stuff is narrated, the guy seems to be pleading with her and not forcing or asking her to leave.... I can actually see him on his knees begging cos he wants to have his family with her and her alone.

Thanks for the clarification.
Even if he's on his knees begging her to take in for him and she does,which money ll he use to take care of mother and child and also himself?? Godforbids she has any life threatening complication,without the finance how ll he cope? Methinks this is just a ploy on his side to use her.



If truly he loves her they can always adopt or go for a sorrugate.
Or they can always hope on God to see them through,but i ve to tell you its not going to be easy.

Mariojane:


what was she doing till now?

She was doing bend down select with serious people

This lady better forget this dude and wait for a more serious man who will be ready to marry her. Women in their 40s still give birth till thy kingdom come. Please, she should never settle for mediocrity from any man just because of her age. NEVER!! God's blessings come upon those who d the right thing. Let her give way for a more serious man biko. The conditions given by this man has shown he isnt serious. What kind of request is this? You are not ready to marrry yet you want kids? He is taking advantage of the fact that she is in her late 30s and wants her to train the kids they will have herself. Its a big red flag!! She should run for her life ooooooo. All these scammers in form of men that are tooooo lazy to do the right thing! Tufiakwa!! After giving birth, the man will create some other excuse as to why they cant get married. Before you know it, he marries the next lady he meets within 2 weeks. He marries another lady while she is stuck as a single mother. I have seen these things happen. She better let him go. Marriage isnt by force. These are reasons why our forefathers were better than men of nowadays. Once they see a woman they like, they do the needful sharp sharp. Not all these corner corner lazy man tactics men do these days.