donbenedict:
Wen I get married, I will read this..



Tallesty1

Tallesty1:
This is lengthy already so I will skip every other thing and go straight to the points.

1. Emotional Immaturity. Emotionally immature people are the hardest to deal with. They can be extremely challenging, because they lack the ability to see life clearly and accurately, and to deal with it. They lack the ability to handle anger, disappointment, guilt, resentment, fear, jealousy, disappointment, grief, insecurity, and a myriad of other feelings appropriately.

2. Sex Before Marriage. Research using brain scans now shows powerful chemicals are released during sex that should create a powerful, everlasting bond.

"During sex with a men, women's brain secretes oxytocin that causes them to bond emotionally to that man. This chemical is so overwhelming in a woman's brain that just a 20-second hug can cause a female to become bonded to a male.

Both sexes get addictive doses of the pleasure-chemical dopamine that works out well for couples out to create lifelong marriages and stable families but the bonding, which acts like adhesive tape is weakened when people tear away power by breaking off with a sexual partner and moving on from one to another to another.

This destroys the ability to bond with one's spouse permanently because the brain actually gets molded to not accept that deep emotional level that's so important for marriage.

3. Feminism. These movement have successfully convinced some ladies that our mothers, grandmothers and great-grands were like slaves in their marriage. It has also convinced them that males are animals and women-beaters so any time there is a little misunderstanding in a marriage, the negative instinct that these teaching installed in the ladies will alert them that the animal is about to attack and whatever defense mechanism they have developed will be applied in full force. This is why many little misunderstandings ends in a fight.

4. Wrong Foundation. Anything build on a wrong foundation will not last. Most marriages fail not because the people involved are not willing to make it work but because it was built on a wrong foundation. Example of these foundations is "My Pastor or Prophet Said". Sometimes people marry because of a pastor's vision, prophecy or their own dream instead of because of love.
Secondly women do meet their their pastors prophet or whoever they have as a spiritual father for special prayers, jazz or concoctions that will help them get a guy. Likewise guys, they meet these thieves also for jazz or concoction. Such marriage dies once the jazz wears off

5. Putting Our Wants first Before Our Needs. We lack seriously here, We do not take time to know what our partner really needs. Ofcourse every body wants to live in large house, ride nice car, go on vacations etc but first; humans needs to be loved, cared for, appreciated, respected, listened to, etc. When you are busy chasing after the wants, your partner is likely to fall for whoever satisfies his or her need.

6. Copying Others and Listening To Their Advice. A marriage is doomed to fail once we start listening to the advice of outsiders or copying them. When you listen to foolish advices on your relationship from a friend whose sole objective maybe to destroy your marriage or from a man hater or woman hater, you will cease to love your partner.
You will start tearing him/her down with you words. Respect in the marriage will jump the fence, seeking his/her opinion on an issue becomes unncesarry because his/her judgment cannot be trusted by you.

7. Not Setting Priorities Right, Not Researching Background and Wrong Mindset. People no longer make working with their spouse to get a good family their priority.
Secondly some don't research their family backgrounds to know about his/her family. They act based on love for the guy or girl. A family's background such as honesty, integrity, modesty and other good morals should be considered before tying the knot.
Finally there are some who see marriage as a rest zone. A never ending party where their partner will also do things that will please them. They are always looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.

I Know Of Other Things Like, Lies, Cheating, Beating, drunkeness, lack of trust, Marrying just to be married or seen as a married person etc but those things are expected when you are running fast in a wrong lane.

DROPs PEN.

Ceeesaw:


And also the double standards thing annoys me the most about modern day feminism. If a man slaps a women everybody will condemn him some other men will even rush in her defence. But when a woman slaps a man he is expected to take it like a man. That just shows that we have accepted that women are weaker and need protection. The same woman tomorrow will be chanting equality.

Ceeesaw:
I agree with your write up entirely, except for one. Feminism advocates for equal rights of men and women. Its a movement to stop the oppression of women, domestic violence and marginalisation of women. Feminism does not preach that all men are beasts or evil..

Unfortunately a lot of women have done despicable things to their husbands and marriages under d guise of feminism. They have so misunderstood the original teaching of that movement. A woman will not cook food and keep at home before running off to work and then claim she is pursuing her dreams. Some women will insult and humiliate their husband in public in the name of being equal to him.

So the problem is misunderstood Feminism.

Ceeesaw:

I know all u have said. That's why am trying to point out the original aim of that movement. Over the years a lot people have misunderstood it and adulterated it to suit their wickedness. They are no more seeking for equality they are seeking for superiority.

Thats why someone will now say there are different types of feminism. I believe in feminism if its helping out a woman that is being battered or raped. Or helping to educate parents to send their female child to school.

On the issue of equality. Equal rights,yes, men and women should have that.. but the two sexes are different in their abilities and strenghts. If only both men and women will accept their different roles on earth and stop trying to drag who is superior to the other..

And also the double standards thing annoys me the most about modern day feminism. If a man slaps a women everybody will condemn him some other men will even rush in her defence. But when a woman slaps a man he is expected to take it like a man. That just shows that we have accepted that women are weaker and need protection. The same woman tomorrow will be chanting equality.

Friday18:
Is not about list or anything, every marriage has there manual to follow. What is applied to A may not be the same as B. Either list or no least,it's all about individual involved in it.

Ceeesaw:
I agree with your write up entirely, except for one. Feminism advocates for equal rights of men and women. Its a movement to stop the oppression of women, domestic violence and marginalisation of women. Feminism does not preach that all men are beasts or evil..

Unfortunately a lot of women have done despicable things to their husbands and marriages under d guise of feminism. They have so misunderstood the original teaching of that movement. A woman will not cook food and keep at home before running off to work and then claim she is pursuing her dreams. Some women will insult and humiliate their husband in public in the name of being equal to him.

So the problem is misunderstood Feminism.

Tallesty1:
Feminism has never been for equality bro.

It is about improving the lives and statuses of women by degrading the lives and statuses of men. The feminist concept of “equality” only serves to provide a framework for feminism, and to brainwash other unfortunate people, especially men, to support it.

Every woman I have met who called herself a feminist was also a sexist. All of them.

Ever tried to mention men's inequalities to a feminist? She will call you a sexist misogynist pig for. Feminism just supports and fights for superiority of women to men nothing else.

Have you ever wondered why, in divorce cases, the mother gets custody and the father pays child support? Ever wondered why, when a girl sees a guy naked, he is arrested for indecent exposure, but when a guy sees a girl naked, he is arrested for being a peeping tom Equality My Foot.

How can feminism claim equality when thesame feminism under the guise of promoting equality, has succeeded in bringing bias back into the legal system by arguing that women are, in fact, not equal to men and should not be treated as such under the law.

Double standard everywhere.

Sha, whether they in or out for equality doesn't really matter to me but the fact that some people under the cover of feminism destroy home is a good reason to add it in my write up.


Thanks for contributing

repogirl:
thankyou! You get too much sense. Tallesty1, take note!

ademipeju:
Voting process NOW ON


https://www.nairaland.com/2705483/nairaland-moderator-year-2015-voting

repogirl:
Tallesty1 abeg cancel that number two because it is baseless. Alot of people are not fortunate enough to marry their first lovers but doesn't mean their marriages have problems because they had other partners before marriage.

Also, that one marries one's first love is not a guarantee that they will be in love and attached for the rest of their lives to that one person.

Also where is the link to the research you are talking about, lemme read it for myself.

sonofananimal:
number 2 is the basic REASON!!

That's why you will see them (especially WOMEN) CHEATING from one place to another.

Why won't marriage look like paper nowadays!

Marry today, tomorrow you find out that, that son is not yours, next tomorrow you divorce. Infact! Marriage is nothing nowadays When you can go and have sex outside or anywhere! So what is the value of marriage

Don't get me wrong! I'm not a fan of sex before marriage

Richy4:
Technology has destroyed marriages more than what you listed
how many times has a man found what he shouldn't have seen on the wife's phone.
or how many time has a woman seen the worst on her man's phone.

FB is another thing that is setting marriages ablaze. All this means of communication has made it easy to cheat.

In the olden days, not that there was no cheating but it was not common. Some times if the news get to either of the spouse, he/ she will say it was a" hear say".
But this days, you just Google secret agent and send him or her loose on the man or the woman.....

Friday18:
Is not about list or anything, every marriage has there manual to follow. What is applied to A may not be the same as B. Either list or no least,it's all about individual involved in it.