Tallesty1:
You need to read this.





cc: repogirl

Tallesty1:
Listen.

I won't take down No2.


Maggi alone does not make a soup sweet but it contributes to the good taste the food will have when it's ready.

Same thing with salt and pepper but remove the three at once and you have a pot of crap instead soup.

People who had their first sex on their wedding night have greater chance of enjoying successful marriage compared to other bleepers.

repogirl:
sonofananimal is a renowned spewer of rubbish and baseless accusations against women. So I won't bother with him.

See the rubbish he just finished spewing sef and you are mentioning me? That especially women cheat?

Lol, the guys reasoning makes me burst into laughter.... He is a joke and doesn't even know it.

fe32:


Thanks again to you. Drawing up list to marriage is at most not very useful. Every marriage with their peculiar situation. I have seen people who have committed the number 2 sin but are having a very wonderful married life and those who never did living in total misery.

honesty, sincerity , tenderness , trust and as many people have said..respect are the basic needs....

loving like living is; taking chances, you never fully know what you getting into until you do. No matter how sanctimonious it seems. I should stress however that to point 2 and still going ahead to find these qualities i listed above in marriage will breed a more trustworthy relationship .

repogirl:
you need to read this.

Cc. Tallesty1

sonofananimal:
you just want me to go into a baseless argument with you

But this time I won't try it because know you have lost most of your senses.

So have a nice day!

Tallesty1:
You are not getting my points at all

Tallesty1:
Feminism has never been for equality bro.

It is about improving the lives and statuses of women by degrading the lives and statuses of men. The feminist concept of “equality” only serves to provide a framework for feminism, and to brainwash other unfortunate people, especially men, to support it.

Every woman I have met who called herself a feminist was also a sexist. All of them.

Ever tried to mention men's inequalities to a feminist? She will call you a sexist misogynist pig for. Feminism just supports and fights for superiority of women to men nothing else.

Have you ever wondered why, in divorce cases, the mother gets custody and the father pays child support? Ever wondered why, when a girl sees a guy naked, he is arrested for indecent exposure, but when a guy sees a girl naked, he is arrested for being a peeping tom Equality My Foot.

How can feminism claim equality when thesame feminism under the guise of promoting equality, has succeeded in bringing bias back into the legal system by arguing that women are, in fact, not equal to men and should not be treated as such under the law.

Double standard everywhere.

Sha, whether they in or out for equality doesn't really matter to me but the fact that some people under the cover of feminism destroy home is a good reason to add it in my write up.


Thanks for contributing

repogirl:
I get you, you are saying premarital sex is part of the things that can destroy a marriage and I am saying it is not.

There are many many more factors that are more likely to scatter a marriage than having previous partners and because a couple first had sex on their wedding night does not mean they will have a wonderful marriage.

Anyway, I will rest my case and agree to disagree with you on the matter but abeg don't quote sonofananimal for me as if he makes any sense.

Tallesty1:
.




The lucky ones become house boys.

Bibol:


My sister, I had to quote your long post just to type this;

YOU GET BRAIN!

Tallesty1:




This is where you get it wrong.

Motorcycle accident do nor kill people like car accident, in fact there are many other things that kill more people but does that mean that people do die from Motorcycle accident?



http://waitingtillmarriage.org/study-couples-who-waited-have-happier-more-stable-marriages/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1341126/Want-secret-happy-marriage-Dont-sex-wedding.html


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/8226959/Couples-who-dont-have-sex-before-marriage-are-happier-study-claims.html



The links you asked for.

raayah:
I think we have condused American feminism with Nigerian (much needed) feminism.

I cannot believe that people are blaming feminist for rape occurrences. Maybe we should blame all Muslims for 9/11 attacks or all Christains should be blamed for Holocaust or All Africans as scammers but I digress.

With a snap of finger, your husband can decide to push you dependant woman and kids outt. You are entitled to zilch in this country.. No alimony no child support. All these men on nairaland will be the same to tell you why are you depending on your husband. Try being a widow in Nigeria.
I remember a story a young woman put on nairaland, she was in a dilemma, she earned 100k + health benefits for family monthly, husband earned 40k. She had run out of time for maternity leave. Her husband would never quit his job and if she quit her job, she would not afford rent or health insurance if said baby became sick. She hadn't found a nanny and she was in despair. The sensible thing would have been for her husband to quit his job , but NOT IN NIGERIA, you know men and their egos. We just consoled her in family section and gave little bits of advice. This is why most women in Nigeria have to work! Why are there married women with kids hawking pure water, why didn't they just sit in their husband's house? An insult to career women is an insult to all women who are suffering and saving to raise their kids.

How many of you have ever heard of men fighting for their marriage? None! Its only women fighting because they know that they are nothing without a man. How can you as an adult exist for someone else?

What about reproductive rights? Women have zilch in Nigeria. Try studying in a Nigerian university, you can be there for extra years just because you refuse to suck a man's dicck?

What about rape? A young 12 year old was continuously raped by a 70-something grandpa the other day. Nairaland said the girl was at fault because she collected money from the man. Some even said she seduced him. LOL.!!Even women were supporting.

What of domestic violence against women . One thread,a young courageous man stood in front of his abusive father who was hitting his mom and nairaland consensus was that the son should have done nothing because perhaps the woman Was NAGGING.
Now imagine if it was reversed, a woman slapped the man. In short, neighbours will gather and beat her down.

What about infidelity and infertility. Try being infertile in Nigeria, you will be laced with insults and called all kinds of names.

What about responsibility: An average 12 year old girl in Nigeria is cooking, fetching water. sweeping and washing everyone's clothes by hand giving her little time to study because you better train her for a man instead. The average 12 year old boy is washing cars at most. these man-banies then grow up and demand that women spoon-feed them daily because they have been trained that way. Your average married man cannot cook a pot of soup.


Can we stop people from being evil? NO!! But feminism seeks to educate people especially women that we have choices, we are not objects and we need to be treated fairly by men and the society

neocortex:


It is quite absurd that you expect feminist to be fighting for mens equality
when it is clear to everyone why feminism arose in the first place.

No one need to be "brainwashed" before they know what is evil or good.
The neighbour who had to rush a fainted wife(as a result of spousal beating)
to the hospital don't need to be "brainwashed" before he/she knows the
how much suffering the woman is subjected to.
The children don't need to be "brainwashed" before they know the suffering
their mother went through in the hands of the "Mike Tyson" father.

Even some families still engage in gender bias in sponsoring their children's education.
So , no one was deceived into supporting feminism as you made it sound.

What I do know is that opposing an idea is the most ineffective means
of quelling its influence. It will be more appropriate if you start up a
counter movement such as "Masculinism" to seek equality for men
rather than denouncing feminism because you will only succeed in
making it more ideal to those who haven't already subscribed to it
while the hardcore ones will adopt more extreme positions.

If we take a cursory look at the achievements recorded through
feminism such as universal sufferage and education, we will see
that feminism isn't evil as it is being portrayed regardless of what
"militant feminists" say or believe.

chibwike:
Nice one tallesty..that number two..waht are you gon say about prostitutes...the other points are cool..am learning..btw do you have a source..or twaz just from your head.

Ceeesaw:
I agree with your write up entirely, except for one. Feminism advocates for equal rights of men and women. Its a movement to stop the oppression of women, domestic violence and marginalisation of women. Feminism does not preach that all men are beasts or evil..

Unfortunately a lot of women have done despicable things to their husbands and marriages under d guise of feminism. They have so misunderstood the original teaching of that movement. A woman will not cook food and keep at home before running off to work and then claim she is pursuing her dreams. Some women will insult and humiliate their husband in public in the name of being equal to him.

So the problem is misunderstood Feminism.

Tallesty1:
. The lucky ones become house boys.

Ceeesaw:

I know all u have said. That's why am trying to point out the original aim of that movement. Over the years a lot people have misunderstood it and adulterated it to suit their wickedness. They are no more seeking for equality they are seeking for superiority.

Thats why someone will now say there are different types of feminism. I believe in feminism if its helping out a woman that is being battered or raped. Or helping to educate parents to send their female child to school.

On the issue of equality. Equal rights,yes, men and women should have that.. but the two sexes are different in their abilities and strenghts. If only both men and women will accept their different roles on earth and stop trying to drag who is superior to the other..

And also the double standards thing annoys me the most about modern day feminism. If a man slaps a women everybody will condemn him some other men will even rush in her defence. But when a woman slaps a man he is expected to take it like a man. That just shows that we have accepted that women are weaker and need protection. The same woman tomorrow will be chanting equality.

freshvine:


I totally understand your point from the get go but I wonder why the feminine champions are twisting it.

Tallesty1:
This is lengthy already so I will skip every other thing and go straight to the points.

1. Emotional Immaturity. Emotionally immature people are the hardest to deal with. They can be extremely challenging, because they lack the ability to see life clearly and accurately, and to deal with it. They lack the ability to handle anger, disappointment, guilt, resentment, fear, jealousy, disappointment, grief, insecurity, and a myriad of other feelings appropriately.

2. Sex Before Marriage. Research using brain scans now shows powerful chemicals are released during sex that should create a powerful, everlasting bond.

"During sex with a men, women's brain secretes oxytocin that causes them to bond emotionally to that man. This chemical is so overwhelming in a woman's brain that just a 20-second hug can cause a female to become bonded to a male.

Both sexes get addictive doses of the pleasure-chemical dopamine that works out well for couples out to create lifelong marriages and stable families but the bonding, which acts like adhesive tape is weakened when people tear away power by breaking off with a sexual partner and moving on from one to another to another.

This destroys the ability to bond with one's spouse permanently because the brain actually gets molded to not accept that deep emotional level that's so important for marriage.

3. Feminism. These movement have successfully convinced some ladies that our mothers, grandmothers and great-grands were like slaves in their marriage. It has also convinced them that males are animals and women-beaters so any time there is a little misunderstanding in a marriage, the negative instinct that these teaching installed in the ladies will alert them that the animal is about to attack and whatever defense mechanism they have developed will be applied in full force. This is why many little misunderstandings ends in a fight.

4. Wrong Foundation. Anything build on a wrong foundation will not last. Most marriages fail not because the people involved are not willing to make it work but because it was built on a wrong foundation. Example of these foundations is "My Pastor or Prophet Said". Sometimes people marry because of a pastor's vision, prophecy or their own dream instead of because of love.
Secondly women do meet their their pastors prophet or whoever they have as a spiritual father for special prayers, jazz or concoctions that will help them get a guy. Likewise guys, they meet these thieves also for jazz or concoction. Such marriage dies once the jazz wears off

5. Putting Our Wants first Before Our Needs. We lack seriously here, We do not take time to know what our partner really needs. Ofcourse every body wants to live in large house, ride nice car, go on vacations etc but first; humans needs to be loved, cared for, appreciated, respected, listened to, etc. When you are busy chasing after the wants, your partner is likely to fall for whoever satisfies his or her need.

6. Copying Others and Listening To Their Advice. A marriage is doomed to fail once we start listening to the advice of outsiders or copying them. When you listen to foolish advices on your relationship from a friend whose sole objective maybe to destroy your marriage or from a man hater or woman hater, you will cease to love your partner.
You will start tearing him/her down with you words. Respect in the marriage will jump the fence, seeking his/her opinion on an issue becomes unncesarry because his/her judgment cannot be trusted by you.

7. Not Setting Priorities Right, Not Researching Background and Wrong Mindset. People no longer make working with their spouse to get a good family their priority.
Secondly some don't research their family backgrounds to know about his/her family. They act based on love for the guy or girl. A family's background such as honesty, integrity, modesty and other good morals should be considered before tying the knot.
Finally there are some who see marriage as a rest zone. A never ending party where their partner will also do things that will please them. They are always looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.

I Know Of Other Things Like, Lies, Cheating, Beating, drunkeness, lack of trust, Marrying just to be married or seen as a married person etc but those things are expected when you are running fast in a wrong lane.

DROPs PEN.

buygala:
In addition

Failure of the couple to properly set their financial standards..... If the wifey is not satisfied with the husband's income, that's the foundation for disaster.... Why give a girl the impression that you are worth some millions, when indeed, You are so wretched that you budgeted the wedding on the basis of monetary handouts you were expecting to receive from people you had invited to it?

Unresolved relationships. ... Nothing puts stress on a marriage than the wifey missing or secretly communicating with her ex or the hubby doing same.... Instead of spending time to make the marriage work, they end up wishing, daydreaming, or even secretly fuccking their exes

Secrets... She hides the fact that her womb has been damaged due to the abortions she had while she was a 'rock-and-roll' spinster..... Na when pikin no gree come and dem go hospital for tests, na him doctor go come tell husby say him wife don use her womb play baba Ijebu.... .... or the husby, throughout his fornicating years, has never gotten any girl pregnant, even by 'mistake'.... and instead of confirming his virility before tying the knot, he keeps silent, hoping for a miracle, and continues the deception until the wifey finds out about his impotence on her own ..... How will that marriage not enter 'one chance?

Ceeesaw:
I agree with your write up entirely, except for one. Feminism advocates for equal rights of men and women. Its a movement to stop the oppression of women, domestic violence and marginalisation of women. Feminism does not preach that all men are beasts or evil..

Unfortunately a lot of women have done despicable things to their husbands and marriages under d guise of feminism. They have so misunderstood the original teaching of that movement. A woman will not cook food and keep at home before running off to work and then claim she is pursuing her dreams. Some women will insult and humiliate their husband in public in the name of being equal to him.

So the problem is misunderstood Feminism.