Q

BabaOneChance:

You're taking this issue too personal. Just assume this is a topic for debate, and the scenario never happened in reality

Those ones think, only they know how to be insulting, i'm just trying to let them know, they can be served.

I couldn't imagine having guest over for dinner and expecting them to clean up afterwards, be them male or female, if they offer that's a different story.
It is so uncultured and improper to insist/expect a guest to clean dishes as an invited dinner guest, male or female.
Now as far as this story goes, the younger brother should have cleaned up after his guess, but if it were me I would have washed the dishes in appreciation because he cooked for me not because it's my duty as a woman, that's bullcrap.
-------------------------------------

SORRY!! I misunderstood the op, I thought the younger brother had the guest over, but since it was the elder brother it was only his responsibility to clean up after his guest but, considering the older brother left without cleaning his mess the younger brother should have did it,
IN NOWAY WAS IT THE FIANCE/GUEST RESPONSIBILITY.

First of all d younger brother is stupid nd rude wat is he teaching his girl friend? Marry me nd me nd my family will b ur salve..... hisssssssss do nd leave d house get urs nd even let her leave her underwars 4 u to wash

Moana:
whenever you washed a plate used by your mother (who is a woman) was it ever an insult?

she is not living in that house and its not her kitchen. How many men have died from washing a plate used by a woman?


so from one unwashed plate you can fortell the entire upbringing of a person?

My mother; she gave birth to me and responsible for pretty much what I am today, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing ANYTHING for her

This fiance is more of a 3rd roommate in that house, passed the night there, cooks there, have a million rounds of sex there and may even have a key to the apartment, why on earth will such person still be referred to as a visitor?? Mind you logically visitors ain't even meant to see the inner rooms of an apartment.

And yes, it definitely shows she lacks manners or maybe her brain is just running out of her nose

RedBenson:


Lol. I think you should rather restep your way to the school you attended since you've so failed to understand the meaning of English words now. A lady that exhibited this same character of yours 20yrs ago is still single today. Dont quote me again pls. I dont deal with type.

learn the meaning of the word 'visitor' today and be thankful for it, mumu.

pek:
That's when you know lady that is a wife material. Reminds me of my own experience. Was interested in a lady then. She came to my place one day. Went to the kitchen to serve herself. Left the kitchen in a bad state without washing the dishes. The relationship ended before it started.

let me get this straight you wanted a visitor who is not even your gf to clean up your kitchen. But you shout " the devil is a liar" when a girl who isnt you gf asks you to buy her something

emperorchedda:
Do well to shut that borehole of a mouth because you are exposing your level of ignorance.

Filthy mor-on

Asswipe, do you even know the meaning of the word 'ignorance'? You can only end up with a woman with no self worth, no intelligent woman can marry your kind.

You are a disgrace to the male genital you posses.

Adaeze003:


A million likes for this post. Nigerian parent forget to train their male children.

Back then, it was sensible that the boys went to farm with papa while girls did the chores and cooking but when education came, some people didn't know what to do with their male kids but still ensured that the girls were trained while going to school as well.

That's why some of these brats place themselves on a pedestal and think a girl is meant to serve them.

Na brat go marry u one day o. Unless ur a lesbian

Jesus christ. Yet again am not surprised, most girls on nairaland are obviously below 30. Visitor my ass. Am sure I know what part of the country that girl comes from. Lack of proper home bringing. If she put the plates in the kitchen wouldn't her chicken brain have told her to wash the plate? So the younger bro is now a house help abi? She must be a very very dirty woman. The fact you are a finance means you must take charge of maintaining the home. May God not allow reasonable men marry nairaland girls that think like this. What a disrespectful. Generation. God have mercy.

doninno:
First of all d younger brother is stupid nd rude wat is he teaching his girl friend? Marry me nd me nd my family will b ur salve..... hisssssssss do nd leave d house get urs nd even let her leave her underwars 4 u to wash

So what you are saying is, he should be teaching her to marry him and be his slave right, some of you men should stop acting like lazy helpless babies, even the physically challenged take pride in doing for themselves.

emperorchedda:
your kind are the type that encourage and gives me hope that I can still marry a Nigerian girl.

This is lovely!

emperorchedda:
your kind are the type that encourage and gives me hope that I can still marry a Nigerian girl.

This is lovely!

emperorchedda:
your kind are the type that encourage and gives me hope that I can still marry a Nigerian girl.

This is lovely!

#smiles# Thanks

freecocoa:
learn the meaning of the word 'visitor' today and be thankful for it, mumu.

Idiotically idiot! The day you marry with this character of yours is the day i will know all men have gone mad.

cold:

If he says never mind,he'll do it. It's different. If he doesn't,one should have the decency to clean up after herself. This is a no brainer really. It's akin to a girl sleeping over at her partner's,gets up in the morning and leaves without straightening the sheets. Or maybe it's just me.

and straightening d sheet means what,a good fiancée bah

freecocoa:
Help me ask them o. Plate kwa? Nigerian women are really in trouble.

seriously

BabaOneChance:

Na brat go marry u one day o. Unless ur a lesbian

Nah... that's why there's "some" there. I've met hard working guys that cook, clean and go about their business as well. I have them as friends so it's not a fairytale...

emperorchedda:
My mother; she gave birth to me and responsible for pretty much what I am today, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing ANYTHING for her

but you just said its an insult if its a woman's plate now you mother is excluded from women again? a person with common sense knows that it take less energy and time to wash one plate than argue over it until you are being threatened to move out.

This fiance is more of a 3rd roommate in that house, passed the night there, cooks there, have a million rounds of sex there and may even have a key to the apartment, why on earth will such person still be referred to as a visitor?? Mind you logically visitors ain't even meant to see the inner rooms of an apartment.

so if you go to your aunt's house that you have been visiting for the past 20yrs, you will not be her visitor today? Okay tell me who died after that one plate was washed? And how sure are you that she has never cleaned their messy apartment up before, even when she didnt contribute to the clutter?

And yes, it definitely shows she lacks manners or maybe her brain is just running out of her nose

so if you refuse to buy a girl a gift today, she can correctly assume that you can never be a provider if she marries you right?

Adaeze003:


A million likes for this post. Nigerian parent forget to train their male children.

Back then, it was sensible that the boys went to farm with papa while girls did the chores and cooking but when education came, some people didn't know what to do with their male kids but still ensured that the girls were trained while going to school as well.

That's why some of these brats place themselves on a pedestal and think a girl is meant to serve them.

What do u expect? In a nigerian home, the boys are taught to take a chill while the girls clean up after them...
Very poor home training..
When I have kids both my son and daughter would learn to cook, clean and be homely it only makes them better people.
Every day of a nigerian daughters life she's constantly being taught on how to please men. The sons are never taught on how to please women.

freecocoa:
I'm trying to understand your angle o, are you saying, as a lady, it's paramount to do the dishes after eating when visiting a boyfriend? Does he get to do the dishes after eating at my place?

They both slept on the bed, anyone can do it.

Exactly, or they can make it together.

Gaidenk:

If u wanna belittle him do it in your own fathers house,the west has totally destroyed everything we hold culture. A woman in our culture marries the family,if you like it,find a bitch nigg* who you can control

lol

freecocoa:
I'm trying to understand your angle o, are you saying, as a lady, it's paramount to do the dishes after eating when visiting a boyfriend? Does he get to do the dishes after eating at my place?

They both slept on the bed, anyone can do it.

abi o

RedBenson:


Idiotically idiot! The day you marry with this character of yours is the day i will know all men have gone mad.

If only you know.

*in ygritte's voice* you know nothing Redbenson.

suzzy16:
and straightening d sheet means what,a good fiancée bah

It's a reflection of oneself. I honestly can't stand untidy people (i'll refrain from using dirty). But like i said,maybe it's just me. Others might see it differently.

Moana:
but you just said its an insult if its a woman's plate now you mother is excluded from women again? a person with common sense knows that it take less energy and time to wash one plate than argue over it until you are being threatened to move out.

so if you go to your aunt's house that you have been visiting for the past 20yrs, you will not be her visitor today? Okay tell me who died after that one plate was washed? And how sure are you that she has never cleaned their messy apartment up before, even when she didnt contribute to the clutter?

so if you refuse to buy a girl a gift today, she can correctly assume that you can never be a provider if she marries you right?

Honey I cannot be a visitor in my aunt's place I visit on a daily basis.
OP never stated if it's repeated behaviour from the girl in question, but the fact that she's done it once implies she could repeat it if she's isn't appropriately scolded and reminded of her place as a woman

freecocoa:
If only you know.

*in ygritte's voice* you know nothing Redbenson.

All seriousness aside, I love that GOT reference.

Lincoln275:
from my own point of view, its that girl responsibility to wash used plate for her bro-in-law nah. then d husband don chop efo if He is encouraging his fiancee not to wash plates for his brother

WRONG!!

emperorchedda:
Honey I cannot be a visitor in my aunt's place I visit on a daily basis.
OP never stated if it's repeated behaviour from the girl in question, but the fact that she's done it once implies she could repeat it if she's isn't appropriately scolded and reminded of her place as a woman

i didnt see anywhere where the OP said she visits the house daily? Please show me
so because it was a one time incident it means it will be repeated? Are u not being prejudicious? how sure are you that she wasnt the one who prepared the meal they all ate?

Lincoln275:
from my own point of view, its that girl responsibility to wash used plate for her bro-in-law nah. then d husband don chop efo if He is encouraging his fiancee not to wash plates for his brother

lol

Kingsleyinfo:


No disrespect man..

First bolded line.
Living with someone doesn't mean you can't voice your opinion, he isn't a slave just as the young lady in question is also not a slave.

Second bolded line..
Respect is reciprocal, if your visitor doesn't show me some respect, i will naturally vent it on you, that's just how it is.

Washing of plates doesn't show respect to anyone, it's just common African etiquette.

I used to visit a family friend of mine during my service year.
She would instruct the househelp to prepare food and serve me each time I came. I would eat and the househelp would clear the table.

Recently I visited her, and found out the househelp was no more there, but she had another more erderly lady living with her now.

As usual food was ready, this time I quickly walked into the kitchen to get my food before the lady would start serving me again.
I also cleared my plates and washed up after eating. I could have played the visitor card, but heck we have become closer than that, were almost like family.

moral is that, when a lady who by all intent and purpose refuses to do what naturally is expected from someone of her esteemed status as a fiancee... trust me, there is usually more than meets the eye in such scenarios.

If the lady in question was in good terms with the younger brother, he would have happily washed the plates. His actions were definetely a reaction to something much bigger in the background, don't look at the dishes saga alone. Something is a miss already.

Ok, now I think I understand ur point of view, but before I conclude on that, let me just ask this: how would you view this issue if this had been the lady's first time of visiting?

The answer to this questions will determine who wash the plates...


Who cook the food?
Who serve the food?



If the lady was the one who cooked and served herself, then she MUST wash the plate cos she is no longer regarded as a visitor, but...





If one of the guys happened to be the one who cooked and served her, then its wrong to expect her to wash the plates cos she is a visitor.



By the way, what's the big deal in washing common plates? The younger brother for wash am, afterall na em senior bro dey feed am dey accomodate am dey pay for em school fees.

bosun11:
As a lady , if u dating a guy and u ate from his pot in his house and cant wash d plate , u might end up loosing such a guy . "Courtesy demands you wash the plates " being the lady....Its as simple as that

WRONG!!

bushdoc9919:
Younger bro should have washed the plates.

Just saying.

Or how about they all team up and wash the plates together....

Much better.

Simples.

t @they should team up and wash the plates together...best answer

khia:


WRONG!!

WRONG? as in?