I appreciate everyone's comment.it somehow made me lighter.
Kiss angel-i sent u mail, i will send you the lady's number and mine when you replied with your private mail.tanx

chidichris:

Oga Poster,
no body break ur heart rather u are out to break nairaland girls's heart. u have stylishly painted a picture of a heart broken gentleman that you are not.why
this is a new way of luring girls to urself.

if u are heartbroken like u said, u will not have time to write a lovely poem like u did and u will not have the opportunity to include ur email address so that girls will write u out of sympathy.

the time u wasted thinking out this new method of getting at the girls could have been used in thinking out better and positive things.

if i may ask u, why buying ring for a girl u do not know much about? a u a movie star? maybe the non existing girl saw u as one of those big mumus arround hence she went for real men.

the natural thing of life is that people go for the best.

oga, if u are a football player, will u give up the opportunity of playing with chelsea for sharks of port harcourt?
u are just like a local team and the girl went for her val so all u have to do is to continue from where u stopped after val.
[u got it all wrong my guy im not a regular poster here if not for what happen. not soliciting for charity, however people response reduced the effect of the burden on me.]

well she returned my ring to me yesterday as promised.she also called yesterday evening to find out where i was, ofcourse i told her im still inthe office.i dont know why im still picking her calls! maybe be she has gone for good, maybe she will come back, but now i guess i got to concentrate on my job and add more value to myself.

Im overwhelm by evrybodies intelligent contributions, i didnt expect less either we are blessed in nigeria with highly cerebral people.My emotion is on trial, and the event of the next couple of days or weeks or months will determine what will shape my future love life(if i will have one again).

well she returned my ring to me yesterday as promised.she also called yesterday evening to find out where i was, ofcourse i told her im still inthe office.i dont know why im still picking her calls! maybe be she has gone for good, maybe she will come back, but now i guess i got to concentrate on my job and add more value to myself.

Im overwhelm by evrybodies intelligent contributions, i didnt expect less either we are blessed in nigeria with highly cerebral people.My emotion is on trial, and the event of the next couple of days or weeks or months will determine what will shape my future love life(if i will have one again).

Sunnyjean,

If she intends to come back, do you want to take her back?

Your breakup was bound to happen wether now or later. you have different thoughts about things and you'r trying to make her who she doesnt want to be. I think its better this way. Forget it ever happened and find your own mate

@ poster,i feel like crying while reading this thread,this same incident happened to me but its not on the VAL day,i cant still get over it cos i love this gurl more than any person,yet she is not giving me the attention i deserve.I spoke with some of my friends on this issue and they asked me to forget about her,that she is not my girl,how terrible this is,infact till this moment i am still thinking of her but i decided not to call her again afterall she hasn't called me since then.Ladies can be so dangerous and heartless but i thank God for the fact that whatever goes around comes around.So my guy just chill and carry on with your life,forget about her and make more friends,you will surely get yours.

Dear Taiwo,
When you reach out for what you cannot handle, you end up with more problems on your hands. That’s exactly what my predicament is all about. I never bargained for the whole mess I am currently witnessing. In fact, it was never on my agenda, not to talk of any other unexpected troubles.

I got engaged to Mike when I was in my late teens. Then, Mike had got admission to one of the universities in the southern part of Nigeria. The day I met Mike will remain evergreen in my memory because it was one of the happiest days of my life.

By my late teens, I had been longing for a responsible companion, I could not really understand what was responsible for this, perhaps it was because I am the only child of my parents. Actually, my mother had a hand in it; she was pestering me and telling me to do whatever I needed to do on time and give her a grandchild.

So the day I met Mike was really a happy day in my life.
I was preparing for my senior secondary school examinations then. As a result of this, I had to hang around in school for extra-murals. On this particular day, during the course of my waiting, I decided to seek comfort for my hungry stomach in a restaurant very close to my school.

I sat in a corner because I was shy and I didn’t want unnecessary attention. I ordered for a plate of rice (which was my favourite food) and a bottle of soft drink. I started to eat. I was so engrossed in my meal that I did not notice a gentle man who came in and sat in front of me.

I was startled when I heard a male voice that said, 'hello angel.' I looked up to see who the intruder was; I saw an extremely handsome man, and I was compelled by his looks to stare at him for a very long time before I remembered that I must be very conscious of the way I look at people, especially when meeting them for the first time.

I nodded my head in response to his greetings after several minutes of admiration. I felt ridiculous and embarrassed but I still summoned enough courage to look at him.
I cleared my throat at last to say something: “Good afternoon sir,” I said. It was apparent that Mike was much more older than me. "How are you baby,” he said this with a broad smile. "Fine thanks, I replied.”

I said this as if I wasn’t even interested in him.

You know ladies for what we are. We must pretend as if we are not interested in getting acquitted with our admirer so that he won’t take advantage or think one is too cheap. Although I was still a teenager, I already looked so grown up.

After some minutes of small talks, I developed a special interest in Mike and within those few minutes, I discovered that Mike was very intelligent, brilliant social, honest and amiable. He was also very fluent in English. During the course of our talk, I learnt he had just been admitted into the higher institution and he was studying Chemical Engineering. I also got to know that he was from Ondo State.

That was how we started our friendship. Initially, he made me to realise that he just wanted friendship, but gradually, he started whispering another message entirely.

Since it was my prayer and aspiration to get a responsible man like Mike, I never raised any objection to his proposal. One thing that really thrilled me about Mike was that he never made an attempt to have sex with me, perhaps it was because he knew I was a virgin.

Moreover, immediately I finished my secondary school education, I got admitted to University of Port-Harcourt where I studied Banking and Finance. Mike would come to my school almost every two weeks and stay over for the weekend.

We could hardly stay apart for a month.

During my third year at the university, Mike went for service. He was posted to Jos, so it was very difficult for him to visit me during this period.

But our past activities were my consolation.

Two years after, I also went for my National Youth Service programme. In the course of my service, we were earnestly preparing for our wedding. Before I finished my service, Mike had got job in an oil company in Lagos. This added immensely to our happiness, it also accelerated our wedding preparation.

To cut a long story short, I got married to Mike three years after my NYSC. My joy knew no bounds when I discovered that I was pregnant three months after our wedding. I informed Mike about the new development. He was so happy that he declared a work-free day for the celebration of my pregnancy.

I delivered a bouncing set of twins (two boys). Mike was jumping as if the twins would determine how he would spend his life beyond eternity. The two boys were the replica of their father. I mean real carbon copies. My parents and his own parents were very happy about this and it also brought about a kind of unity that had been lacking between them.

Two years after, Mike travelled to the U S which had always been his dream and aspiration. He stayed in the US for six years which really brought about my present predicament.

Before Mike left for the United States, he had helped me to secure a job in one of the prominent banks in Lagos; we were residing in Lagos, so it wasn’t difficult for me to take care of my twins. I didn’t have any financial stress. Mike went to study with the assistance of his company.

But tragedy struck when my bank manager started showing interest in me. Initially I refused to be used. I told him point-blank that I was a married woman with a set of twins. How could I be so stupid to date another married man when my own husband was loving? I told him in a respectful way that I was afraid that in the course of the relationship, I might ruin my marriage.

George would not let me rest. He would tell me he loved me and that he was ready to take care of me, irrespective of my status. When it was obvious that George would not leave me alone, I thought of giving him a trial. It was a trial that led into temptation and a temptation that actually led to my destruction.

We started this illicit affair four years after Mike’s departure. Although George was a caring lover, Mike possessed all the qualities I wanted in a man. All along our relationship, I had been very careful and conscious of my misdeed but I was a fool to think that I could play safe.

Unfortunately, I discovered that I was three months pregnant. I nearly killed myself but I thought of what would become of my twins if I decided to kill myself.

I love Mike, I love him so dearly and I never intended to cheat on him but it was the devil. All along, he had been sending gifts and money from the US and he made sure he writes every two weeks.

When I discovered that I was pregnant, I did not even bother to tell George. I went straight to see a gynaecologist in order to get rid of the pregnancy. But the doctor said I should not try any abortion because it could cost me my life.

I thought the doctor wasn’t experienced and I went to another doctor. He also told me the same thing. Taiwo, I can no longer sleep, eat and I am seriously downcast.

Mike still sends gifts and he always ask after his boys. I still love him so dearly. Please what can I do before I run mad? I need a honest piece of advice.

Taiwo, honestly, I cannot stand my in-laws

Rita, Lagos

Hmm, Sweet Story there Niyidrums, Actually i was wondering what could have lured you to George in the first place but i later discovered that we are human and are bound to make mistakes,but nevertheless,you are still yourself.It now depends if your husband will still come home for you or he might be running after other girls in USA,just making sure he does not loose his set of twins in regards to his sending money and other stuffs,but i bet it its a great mistake.Why not get dialogue with George and know what his opinion will be.Moreover he might have a better plan for the whole incident.I wish you success though.

guy to be frank wif u, u shld av seen it comin, eg change in attitude and all dat, she cant jst do dat overnite, since u claim u guys av been fond of each other, means prolly u were not carefull enuff to study her and to know where she was derailing, take heart and be more carefull in ur next relationship, u are gonna find a betta gal and ur babe dat jilted u wld come beggin

@ POSTER
I had a similar experience when i was in school for my first degree.
A girl locked up my heart in her in passionate love, every body in the faculty
knew and she was respected among my friends and colleagues but friend never knew
that she wa using to cool off on campus.
I WAS SURPRISE WHEN A BIG SHIT CAME BLANKETING MY FACE ONE DAY
SHE TOLD ME THAT ''WHAT WILL I SAY IF THE MAN THAT WANT TO MARRY HER COME TO
THE CAMPUS AND ASK ABOUT HER FROM ME'' AND THAT WE ARE NOT COMPACTIBLE
I COULDN'T STAND SHOCK BUT YOU KNOW TIME HEAL THE PAIN AND TODAY I AM VERY VERY HAPPY
I HAVE COME TO REALIZED THAT SHE DIDN'T WORTH THE PAIN AFTERALL I AM BETTER OFF NOW.

MY ADVICE TO YOU KEEP CALM, SHE WILL COME CRAWLING AND BEGGING YOU TO ACCEPT HER BACK
BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT GET A BETTER TREATMENT THAN WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN HER FROM THE OTHER GUY.

sunny i feel your pain . i dont see why u cried for such a person.my dear she's too cheap for the price of a tear drop.move on bro,life's all about ups and downs.and never give up.u will alwayz get a better girl .and this time plz take it slow

Just get over it!

Mrs. Mrs. Rita Mike George! Hmmm! Interesting.
Carry on my dear, after all sex is sweet and sweeter witout condom. Don't worry, u'll have another twins.
Poor Mike! Come back and see ur wife.

Such is life

Man make sure u get your money back, either in cash or cash
then beat the sh-t out the guy and leave that is wht i did.

she is a slot and a rotten anus and a hore

You are such a disgrace to manhood; you acted as if you don’t know what to do as a man.

Is quite a pity that such is happening to you on a Val day? Well I think you should dust up Ur back and get on with life. Haven’t you heard that ladies are like cloth in the market the highest bidder goes home with them.

First you made a mistake by letting her know you loved her so much and you cant deal with out her, then she saw it as an opportunity to wound you front and back. Well crying is a natural phenomenon you can’t do without it. So my man crying will not solve the problem but look for a way to make her feel what you felt in respect to what she did to you. You did not define yourself in the first place.

But bros come to think of it you chop am well well b4 the incidence happened.

THIS IS CALLED METHOD ONE, DISCHARGING METHOD

Your case was a very pathetic one,all i will tell u is to take heart.
Shit happens when u are in a relationship, but one thing i will
emphasise here is that u have dated a stranger,u dont know her much,
cos if u truly know her as u had mentioned, u wud have known she is
keeping another guy,and that guy she was with on val's day is the real
man in her life.U know wati mean,sorry if that hurts,but that doesn't mean
u shudn't give another lady a chance, let ur heart be opened. Be on d watch
out and be wise. Don't sleep with ur 2 eyes closed. Ur own woman will come,
and don't sleep when she is near U, The one u claimed to love, loves someone
else, But, i tell u it's not d end of d world, don't think, just put it at d back of
ur mind and 4get abt it,

niyidrums:

Dear Taiwo,
When you reach out for what you cannot handle, you end up with more problems on your hands. That’s exactly what my predicament is all about. I never bargained for the whole mess I am currently witnessing. In fact, it was never on my agenda, not to talk of any other unexpected troubles.

I got engaged to Mike when I was in my late teens. Then, Mike had got admission to one of the universities in the southern part of Nigeria. The day I met Mike will remain evergreen in my memory because it was one of the happiest days of my life.

By my late teens, I had been longing for a responsible companion, I could not really understand what was responsible for this, perhaps it was because I am the only child of my parents. Actually, my mother had a hand in it; she was pestering me and telling me to do whatever I needed to do on time and give her a grandchild.

So the day I met Mike was really a happy day in my life.
I was preparing for my senior secondary school examinations then. As a result of this, I had to hang around in school for extra-murals. On this particular day, during the course of my waiting, I decided to seek comfort for my hungry stomach in a restaurant very close to my school.

I sat in a corner because I was shy and I didn’t want unnecessary attention. I ordered for a plate of rice (which was my favourite food) and a bottle of soft drink. I started to eat. I was so engrossed in my meal that I did not notice a gentle man who came in and sat in front of me.

I was startled when I heard a male voice that said, 'hello angel.' I looked up to see who the intruder was; I saw an extremely handsome man, and I was compelled by his looks to stare at him for a very long time before I remembered that I must be very conscious of the way I look at people, especially when meeting them for the first time.

I nodded my head in response to his greetings after several minutes of admiration. I felt ridiculous and embarrassed but I still summoned enough courage to look at him.
I cleared my throat at last to say something: “Good afternoon sir,” I said. It was apparent that Mike was much more older than me. "How are you baby,” he said this with a broad smile. "Fine thanks, I replied.”

I said this as if I wasn’t even interested in him.

You know ladies for what we are. We must pretend as if we are not interested in getting acquitted with our admirer so that he won’t take advantage or think one is too cheap. Although I was still a teenager, I already looked so grown up.

After some minutes of small talks, I developed a special interest in Mike and within those few minutes, I discovered that Mike was very intelligent, brilliant social, honest and amiable. He was also very fluent in English. During the course of our talk, I learnt he had just been admitted into the higher institution and he was studying Chemical Engineering. I also got to know that he was from Ondo State.

That was how we started our friendship. Initially, he made me to realise that he just wanted friendship, but gradually, he started whispering another message entirely.

Since it was my prayer and aspiration to get a responsible man like Mike, I never raised any objection to his proposal. One thing that really thrilled me about Mike was that he never made an attempt to have sex with me, perhaps it was because he knew I was a virgin.

Moreover, immediately I finished my secondary school education, I got admitted to University of Port-Harcourt where I studied Banking and Finance. Mike would come to my school almost every two weeks and stay over for the weekend.

We could hardly stay apart for a month.

During my third year at the university, Mike went for service. He was posted to Jos, so it was very difficult for him to visit me during this period.

But our past activities were my consolation.

Two years after, I also went for my National Youth Service programme. In the course of my service, we were earnestly preparing for our wedding. Before I finished my service, Mike had got job in an oil company in Lagos. This added immensely to our happiness, it also accelerated our wedding preparation.

To cut a long story short, I got married to Mike three years after my NYSC. My joy knew no bounds when I discovered that I was pregnant three months after our wedding. I informed Mike about the new development. He was so happy that he declared a work-free day for the celebration of my pregnancy.

I delivered a bouncing set of twins (two boys). Mike was jumping as if the twins would determine how he would spend his life beyond eternity. The two boys were the replica of their father. I mean real carbon copies. My parents and his own parents were very happy about this and it also brought about a kind of unity that had been lacking between them.

Two years after, Mike travelled to the U S which had always been his dream and aspiration. He stayed in the US for six years which really brought about my present predicament.

Before Mike left for the United States, he had helped me to secure a job in one of the prominent banks in Lagos; we were residing in Lagos, so it wasn’t difficult for me to take care of my twins. I didn’t have any financial stress. Mike went to study with the assistance of his company.

But tragedy struck when my bank manager started showing interest in me. Initially I refused to be used. I told him point-blank that I was a married woman with a set of twins. How could I be so stupid to date another married man when my own husband was loving? I told him in a respectful way that I was afraid that in the course of the relationship, I might ruin my marriage.

George would not let me rest. He would tell me he loved me and that he was ready to take care of me, irrespective of my status. When it was obvious that George would not leave me alone, I thought of giving him a trial. It was a trial that led into temptation and a temptation that actually led to my destruction.

We started this illicit affair four years after Mike’s departure. Although George was a caring lover, Mike possessed all the qualities I wanted in a man. All along our relationship, I had been very careful and conscious of my misdeed but I was a fool to think that I could play safe.

Unfortunately, I discovered that I was three months pregnant. I nearly killed myself but I thought of what would become of my twins if I decided to kill myself.

I love Mike, I love him so dearly and I never intended to cheat on him but it was the devil. All along, he had been sending gifts and money from the US and he made sure he writes every two weeks.

When I discovered that I was pregnant, I did not even bother to tell George. I went straight to see a gynaecologist in order to get rid of the pregnancy. But the doctor said I should not try any abortion because it could cost me my life.

I thought the doctor wasn’t experienced and I went to another doctor. He also told me the same thing. Taiwo, I can no longer sleep, eat and I am seriously downcast.

Mike still sends gifts and he always ask after his boys. I still love him so dearly. Please what can I do before I run mad? I need a honest piece of advice.

Taiwo, honestly, I cannot stand my in-laws

Rita, Lagos

I WILL SUGGEST U OPEN UP ANOTHER THREAD,TO GET THE REQUIRED ADVICE.

BAD MISTAKE
dont sit around hoping she's gonna comback.
Like no man would love like u do, she will not find a better man than u n all dat crap. My bros u will just be deluding urself cos if she was fed up n not confused like somebody tried to advice u beta know rite now that SHE AINT COMING BACK!
But if she does comeback it will be a bonus cos by then u woulf either b over her or u can reevalute ur feelings 4 her n guage if she's worth a second chance.

But on a second thot mayb u r d one who drove into anoda man arms, every body is busy feeling sorry 4 u _{i am 2} dey didnt c d part where u tried to make her b submissive n all dat n u pple hv been hving arguments over it. what was ur definition of been "submissive" it could be dat d diff is dat wat u call submissive might mean a slave without a voice to her which finally made her hv a rethink. but dat does not justify wat she did anyway she could hv told u rather let u find out.

som times destiny has very funny ways of playin its course
any way may she wasn't meant 4 u
or wud u hav rather u caught her wit anoda guy
afta uve been married
mov on wit ur lyf shes not worth da heart break
instead she should b sad cos she jst lost
may b da bst part of her lyf.

Great nollywood script, all U need now is the right cast. Talk to Zeb Ejiro, sure he'll pounce on ur story.

Dumped on val's day, how does that affect the price of "Dawa"??

guy forget her, even she come back, she will still repeat herself, she was keeping u to pass time until she get what she want, something like this make u no the king of person u are following, u should be thanking God nt ur wedding day.

Bros, Weeping may endure all nights, joy cometh in the morning. She will still come back. I have a case study of such, when she came back i refused till today, Be a Man

@SunnyJean,
You are not the first person to experience a heart break.People will always ask you to move on.It is not always easy to move on. When you move on, there is every tendency that you will break innocent, vulnerable hearts without knowing. No girl can fill in the vacuum your ex created. It will take time before you can get a replacement.

Just remove your mind from her for now. Look for something that interests you much. Attend social and religious functions. Meet new people. Ask God to give you the heart to forget about her. When a woman makes up her mind to follow another man, even the person she respects a lot cannot change her decision.

Let me tell you my own story.
I fell in love with this girl last 2 years. The lady is a Beauty Queen(Miss Uni and 1st Runner up in State contest). I so much love this Chic that no other lady matters to me. She is very beautiful. I use to be awake to watch over her in situations where i did not remember to spray insecticide in my room.

I wanted to marry her but she refused on terms that her parents hates my tribe. You can read the handwritting on the wall now.

I later caught her with another Guy. Men!!!! It was devastating.

We broke up later. I cried all night. I was really hurt. I actually wanted her back even though she messed up. I use to send credit to her but she will use it to call her suitors.

I had to move on. I am really catching my fun now. I thank God for everything. A man of God said,"Broken engagement is better than a Broken marriage". I am very happy now.

I will advise you to stop calling her. Avoid her. Stop thinking about her.

A wise man said,"If you have a bird, free it, if it comes back to you, then know that  it is yours".

i wish you the best. Just seek the face of God. Pray and ask him for direction. A good wife is from the Lord. Don't listen to your friends. they might laugh at you but He that laughs last laughs best.

Cheers!

U-best

Are u the one I know from head bridge?

Na wah oooo, so boys dey suffer heart break too,, i thought it was only girls . Any way, o boy just move on with your life, though it is not easy, but time will heal it. I suffered from one recently, but i believe i have moved on (have i?)

God will give you your own Girl, just pray.

Mrs Mike, your story is very pathetic, you are really in a mess, pray that your husband understands, but what will happen to Mr. George's baby. Na wah ooooooo, things dey happen for obodo Nija.

U MADE A BIG MISTAKE INITIALLY: TRUSTING A WOMAN,NEVER TRUST A WOMAN,BE IT OLD OR YOUNG,BE IT UR SISTER,MOTHER,GALFRIEND,

SOLUTION TO UR PROBLEM: DO NOT TRUST A WOMAN;THEY ARE NATURALLY NAIVE,INCOMPETENT AND HEARTLESS, TAKE MY WORD FOR IT MY BROTHER AND IT IS BECOS U TRUSTED HER COMPLETELY THAT IS WHY U DIDNT HAVE AN ALTERNATIVE ARRANGEMENT IN CASE SHE MESSED U UP,WHICH SHE EVENTUALLY DID!!!!

WOMEN ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED; DO NOT TRUST ANYWOMAN, ALWAYS HAVE A MEASURE OF DISTRUST OF THE GAL WHENEVER U ARE IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP!!!ITS SAFER THAT WAY IN CASE OF SITUATIONS LIKE THIS,

, AND ALWAYS HAVE A BACK UP PLAN IN CASE SHE DECIDES TO BAIL OUT

Its time to re-assess what is and what could have been. Anyways you should know that you cannot make a lady to be submissive when she is not.

From what you said, even after you confronting her she wasn't remorseful she must be really a hot head. Love is pain as the saying goes, if you don't ever want to be hurt, don't fall in love. This everyone knows is near impossible wether we like it or not we feel love for someone one day.

Now you'll think, "where do I start from now?". Time heals all wounds just try and keep it together, you shall surely find the right lady soon!

Cheers!!!

that is how life is, she probabl wasnt the one for you

yeap!!!!!!!!!

bros go church go give testimony about how God delivered you from making a terrible mistake;
imagine what would have happened if you had married her before you found out