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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages (12673 Views)
Men That Do House Chores For Their Wives (Photos) / "I Am Too Beautiful To Do House Chores" - Nigerian Woman. See Reactions / Is It Right To Share House Chores Between Husband And Wife? Bamisepeters' Blog (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by BABE3: 2:59pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
We're at a crossroad. Do we stick to the old ways (husband-provider, wife-chores) or the new way (no/same roles) ? The male gender wants the perks of the old ways (no chores), the female gender love the perks of the new way (half chore and financial independence). The "husband-provider, wife-chores" model works in a household where only the man works full time. But in most households today, both man and wife work full time, so it's only fair they share the chores. Plus, what hell is the big deal in cleaning up after yourself (man and woman) and cooking ? I hear white men and AAs complain about this too, not only Africans. They complain that women don't do chores anymore. I smh. If everyone just cleans up after themselves we wouldn't have this problem. It's that simple. Pigs! 3 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by bukatyne(f): 3:09pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: @bold: Who are This is sometimes as a result of the belief that women are inferior to men and chores (the dirty work) is the woman's purview. Even a husband who stays @ home would still expect a working wife to tend to the chores. Some wives also think chores is beneath their husbands Some don't think dirty/inferior and are just stuck to gender roles. Funnily, men were chosen as Deacons in the Bible to serve widows food Truly if people clean up after themselves, the chores would drastically reduce. 1 Like |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by BABE3: 3:26pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
bukatyne: who are the pigs? Men who think they shouldn't do chores coz they have a pènis. abi o. Clean up after yourself (man, wife and kids). - whoever wakes up last lays the bed. -when you brush your teeth, wipe the sink. When you shave or comb your hair, wipe the sink clean. -when you poop, flush and check the toilet bowl for any poop marks. If you find a poop mark, wipe it off. -when you take a shower, rinse tiles/walls afterwards. Remove your hair strands from drainage thing before stepping out. -if you see dirt on the floor pick it. -if something isn't in its place, fix it. -wash your clothes regularly so it doesn't pile up. -wash your dishes as you drop them in the sink; no pilling up. -whoever cooks, should wash the pots and utensils as they're cooking. -if you see a dusty surface, grab a napkin to clean it. ......this way, there are no actual "chores", coz everyone uses their commonsense and no one waits on anyone to do what's right. I get time sha. 11 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by bukatyne(f): 3:32pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: Lols @ First sentence... This should be Babe3's guide to having a choreless house What's up, you are scarce in that Chilli's thread |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Mystiqme: 3:37pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: This is the truth. OP, I did dishes with my mom, I'll do it with my wife (an example). The only time a problem will arise is if someone is not pulling their weight in the home, and I do not intend to be that person. 5 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by coogaluta(f): 3:40pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: I wish this was possible with men and kids |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by bukatyne(f): 3:44pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
coogaluta: What makes it impossible? |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by BABE3: 3:44pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
bukatyne: Lol. I dey. I just read the thread as a guest nowadays. Don't want to bore people with my bland foods. |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by bukatyne(f): 3:47pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: You know that's is sooo not true [size=2pt]You want me to sike you abi[/size] Nice combo you usually make Can't keep up with the continental dishes so I just modify my local dishes. That thread is really an inspiration |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by damiso(f): 3:48pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: I agree with you on this.. this was how my house used to be before I had kids( not kids my son because my daughter inherited my OCD from birth. as a baby if milks spills on her onesie she will cry so you can change it the girl will not play with another toy until she has put away the last set ) This way is even the best cos it does not pile up and turn into big work. My son sef I give him one year. Now sef I am coming down hard on him, no tidying up of his lego and train tracks no treats. I have been known to go back and lay my bed after I reached downstairs cos that unlaid bed is an 'extra' chore I have to tackle when I get home I sort my clothes into trousers,shirts,skirts,blouses,jumpers,jeans , native even iro and buba separate from dresses and by lace or ankara (I have issues I know )This because I am too lazy to start looking for them when I need to wear them. If they are in order it saves having to expend energy looking a top among jeans or Ankara among lace. cleaning up as you go actually saves time and energy in the long run. Its a bit harder with toddlers though but they get used to if its enforced. Dirty houses gives me nightmares I have met some dirty women though Father Lord in heaven 2 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by coogaluta(f): 3:50pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
bukatyne: You wanna train a grown man who hasn't done all those things in his life to suddenly start? Good luck! Even kids, who are supoosedly 'trainable' will just take you for a witch if you try all those things she mentioned with them. Ideally, that's how things are supposed to be but in the real world 2 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by bukatyne(f): 3:53pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
coogaluta: The kids take you for a witch for a little while; they will appreciate you in the long run and you will enjoy them @Men: If the issues of chores is very important to you, marry a man who cleans up after himself or is willing to learn (before the marriage of course). Also ensure you train your sons wella so their wives will thank you 2 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
funlord: |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 3:56pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
MarvellousGod:She got the bashing of her life on last thread. She has probably changed her stand. 2 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by BABE3: 3:56pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
coogaluta: With kids? If the man and his wife.are pulling their weights like mystiqme said, it shouldn't be a problem. Plus.as the kids grow older, they'd be forced to follow the footsteps of mummy and daddy. Kids are excellent followers. They're happier with "do as I do" than "do as I say". With men? You allow what you allow. If you allow your husband get away with "no chores", all because you're trying to protect his "manhood" , that's your cup of tea Let him keep basking in his filth. You both work 9-5, and she's supposed to do all the chores? How? when I say "you", I don't mean you. 4 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by BABE3: 4:08pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
bukatyne: 60% of my food are bland. No Maggi, no salt. I just eat for nutrients most of the time. It pays off though. I'm becoming a vegetarian. I've successfully done away with meat and fish. I can't let go of milk and eggs just yet. By december, I should be a complete vegan. My mother thinks I need deliverance. |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Stillfire: 4:15pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
All these can be avoided when we begin to train boys differently. Let's not feign ignorance here, cooking, cleaning etc are reserved for girls during their developmental stage. And the boys carry hefty stuff, wash cars etc. Most mothers consider it taboo for their sons to get into the kitchen. I was at a Nigerian party recently and a man wanted to dish food himself on a buffet style setting o, one of the women said 'nooo, don't dish it, I'll do it for you, men are not supposed to dish food themselves.' When we instigate these ideals into these men, how then do we expect something different when these boys become husbands? It's only in Naija parties I see that buffet still requires wife to go and hustle for food for the husband to eat. Rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by bukatyne(f): 4:19pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
BABE3: @ this rate, so do I But they are mostly fruits and vegs though i.e. they don't need the spices. |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 4:32pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
I misssclassy: Over sabi...turn ur self to slave nah, because of culture and man...u better open ur eyes and knw wat u re doing....no be another thread a lady was crying abt doing all the chores and the husband is pressing fone and u re here saying culture... 7 Likes |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 4:34pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
ronald4lif: Make sense |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Kimoni: 4:34pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
FrancisTony: Na you sabi. Why don't you say this on threads where she is advocating feminism?? OP, which type of woman is being beaten mercilessly like this in the U.S and still doesn't know she should call the cops Abi na United States of Ajegunle ni? Back to the matter - what do people discuss during courtship these days and what are those things they watch out for in their partners? Na only the length and strength of blokos una dey measure these days? Na so so housework mata everywhere this month 1 Like |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by edwife(f): 4:39pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
freecocoa: Freecocoa now you see what i mean? ****back to my confused and laughing state**** 1 Like |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:That's because I haven't seen a thread she contradicted herself. Even a non-feminist or someone oblivious of feminism, won't type that.... By the way, i'm not a feminist but a supporter of what's right devoid of hypocrisy. |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Kimoni: 5:01pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
FrancisTony: Now I am confused. didn't you just say she has a multi personality disorder??
The same bug has bitten you |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 5:15pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:You asked why I didn't quote her on a thread she was advocating for feminism - as of that time, I haven't seen her contradict herself. I'm less aware of that moniker. The same bug has bitten youCan a male be a feminist? According to its wikipedia definition, YES. But, I don't like the name as it sounds feminine instead of gender balanced; femini -sm. I'm a humanitarian... |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Kimoni: 5:17pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
FrancisTony: Oh ok, I get you now
Hahahhahahahhahahaha Now that is funny! There is only one humanitarian I know though - my mentor, Dr Tai Solarin - dude live and died for humanity. I'd like to see you become the next great one |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 5:26pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:Still working on my way of becoming one. You'll be shocked if I tell you my age - let me keep it to myself before some people will use against me when I type. |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Kimoni: 5:34pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
FrancisTony: Now my curiosity is awakened What is your age? Whisper it to my ears |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 5:36pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:If a girl of my age gets married, she'll still be considered as an underage. Go figure. Ciao! |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by freecocoa(f): 5:39pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
edwife:I've always known what you mean my sister, it's very obvious. There's actually a handful of women on here who know what feminism is really about and it's just sad seeing the movement being used as it is on here. I know you almost don't like feminists btw. |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Kimoni: 5:41pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
FrancisTony: You are indeed wise for your age. I'll sit back then while you become the next great one |
Re: Gender And Chores- Issues In Relationships And Marriages by Nobody: 5:44pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
Kimoni: |
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