This your big big english sef ...Yoruba will say 'oruko ta ba fe so omo eni, inu eni lo n gbe' meaning 'the name a father will give to his child is a secret only him will know'...in my opinion, you should have agreed to her father's term and rule your home later as the head of your family. If ur father in law interferes, u ll put him in his place as u are in your own place. Catholics are against divorce so dey ll be left wt no option

Some folks can't seem to make their intentions known from the onset, why?

Before you enter a relationship, these things should have been discussed.

What's the point of dating 4-5 years, and then no marriage because of he is from a different church?

If you are a lady and you can't change church after marriage, then you should tell that to every man that wants to date you. No dey waste people's time. If you can't marry him, why date him?

There is someone for everyone.... OP made the best decision.

My family is a Catholic family. My parents is a devouted Catholic,but my sister married to an Anglican. You can't force a man to accept your church because of marriage. That is to me a conversion under duress. That again makes a man subordinate to his wife . But if allow ur daughter to marry the man, it could bring change to the man due to the attitude of the wife. Like my sister who goes to Anglican devoutly but still prays the Catholic rosary which her husband has subscribed to also pray. A Christian woman can marry a pagan and still convert him to Christianity without force, rather by her attitude. I was the one who talked to my parents and our parish before they could understand. Everything tired on good behavior not church.

Catholics are too close-minded even to their fellow Christians they don't understand the meaning of unity and communal leaving .They are like the Jews in the bible they think faith is based on church and religion.

Who is a big boy, this question may seem somehow to many , or some may say it in the eye of the beholder, but below are some of the response I receive when this question was poured on a social media. Some are funny, some are real while the rest is description of other people’s characters.
• Mine is a guy that girls request for his contact but he always say no! A guy that girls are eager to see him talking to them but he don’t.
• Big boy. Doesn't toast girl two times. Once ask and she refuse that end it all.
• Big boy na person wey gather bar naw
• Its all about benjamin......... Bro
• To me big boy is not always aboutt cash (although,cash dey pat of am ooo)...a big boy knws wat s ryt...is mature,...dresses nice n sweet (not in dos big jeans n face caps ooo) ....n will always get attentn wereva he goes....
• A big boy is a fat guy that calls himself a big boy only to make himself feel better
• Big boy is continue reading

Its the same way that Protestants/Pentecostal families issue out there own order! I have 1st hand experience and info about this stuff,so Op chin up and go look for a wife. You've opened up this thread for peeps who don't have "wisdom" to start insulting and bashing the Catholic church. The rate at which pentecostal churches breed hate and rage for Catholic leaves much to be desired!

Hmmm, you didn't really love her...

If you did, then you would realise that after you too are married and moved away from them, your church will be your business. Simple.

People, especially youths need to stop deceiving themselves with LOVE. It is the last thing to look out for in marriage.


If you marry someone of different faith, confusion and problems will never end in the home, except both parties involved do not take their religion seriously (e.g. a so called Christian that belongs to NO denomination, and seldom attend any service).


It is good to love people, but when it comes to MARRIAGE, there are certain criteria to look out for. Personally, I can't marry a woman that attends Eckankar, 7th day Adventist, Olumba-Olumba, White garment Church, just to name a few. It is as simple as ABC.

For the kids shouting here that religion does not matter, I'll excuse your IGNORANCE as some of you are still comfortable with your girlfriends/boyfriends.

RELIGION/DOCTRINE is one of the most crucial factor I WILL CONSIDER. Home training is not enough; what is it you've been accumulating from your Pastor/Priest since Child hood? I have to know and be sure we're on the same page.

Hmmmmmm, this story reminded me something. OP jst move on... Her dad aint gonna change his mind... It's a lost case

Willdidi:


And you sound like what? A super hero I guess, op when it comes to people's faith some joke with it others hold on strong to it, is good both parties made their stands known and such issues not coming up after the wedding that is when it becomes a bigger problem, since no compromise could be reached is Best both parties move ahead. Guess it was never to be.

Straight up!

Op Ur problem is over gentleman syndrome.
And also you and her father are the same. Both of you are too attached to ur church. You and her father didnt shift ground. You are guilty of exactly d same tin her father is guilty of.

However if i were u, i wont even argue with d father. I will go ahead with d introduction and marriage. In d first two years of d marriage play along. After that you can run ur home d way u chose. His father will have no say. By that time what her father think is not very important.

flyca:
OP, I'm going to share two stories briefly with you.
1. June-July 2013, a suitor approached me - he was directed by some of my relatives. But my mum said NO!, same reasons: he is Catholic, I am Anglican. My dad was indifferent. He was an OK guy and all but personally I wasn't feeling him enough to push. So everything went.
But here is one thing the guy told me I really respect. He said we can go to any church to wed. Not that he has anything against my church but that it would break him as a man.
My point is changing church for a woman "would break you as a man". I mean, who is going to run the home, you or her dad?

2. My cousin changed his church to Catholic church for his girl. I don't have a problem with church, but I personally think its a girl that should accept the guys people, customs, religion etc

Hear ye! Hear ye!! Got some sound mind in this mutha.

femi4:
The last time I checked, Church started from the book of act. It didn't suddenly happened

go and read about martin luter(not the activist one o) they are about 3 of them bearing dat name, the denomination of churches today was done by him, he was the one that cause revolution dat happen in roman-catholic

I was actually expecting someone to advise you to deny your faith too for hers. In as much as I respect marriages; I also hold religion to a high esteem when it comes to relationship. You are not ready to denounce your belief likewise her. It now a two-way thing.

Opetech:

This really got me.

Buh that is the truth my brother, all this crazy rules attached to marriage that don't even guarantee the success of the thing are crazy. The gal's father obviously does not know how hard it is for men to decide to settle down and marry women nowadays. He should continue chasing men away with crazy rules....

IamLEGEND1:


pls God had nothing to do with your extreme myopia and close mindedness......... just look at the nónsense you wrote up there and you want to say God made that happen?

"Giving up my faith"...... WTF!!!??

So the girl you were dating wasn't a true Christian like you abi?
since she is not Catholic.

if that is what your church teaches you, then you're just a brainwashed ídiot.

Oga the Catholic Church does not teach that you marry only Catholics.
Marry any Christian or someone who is willing to be converted to Christianity.
But the truth is a few Catholics never want to go outside the Catholic Church for reasons best known to them.
My elder brother, a catholic, married a Protestant and they are both Catholics today.
The girl I'm liking is a Protestant and she will end up a catholic.
We have a lot of Protestants out there who for no reason won't want to be Catholics like the OP (reasons best known to them).
The truth is I WAS BORN CATHOLIC, BRED CATHOLIC AND I WILL DIE A CATHOLIC . NO OFFENCE.

marshalcarter:
Didn't read....but I'll get married to an hausa woman....I so love hausa...I'll take her to imo state nd I'll luve her and kiss her and cherish her and cuddle her and...fvck.......the hell outta her


Inaso raa nwanyi hausa

I fill in the Gap.

Mr, u are d man. True luv is just around d corner. Believe

mabelly:


Can you hear yourself? You said you dont see yourself giving up your faith for anything or anyone yet you are talking about coming to an agreement. B*ullshit!!! There is no coming to an agreement from your end because your mind is made up.

More so this is marriage we are talking about here. A lifetime commitment that deals with emotions and the human psyche not some boardroom contractual meeting. You get it wrong, you're literarily fuuccked! Look around you, you'd understand better.

Marry from your church, it's wiser and better for you instead of daring people to know what they will say and you turn to heap blame on them or try to draw unnecessary sentiments from the crowd. marry from ur church, that's my candid advice bro. My neighbour is an ardent catholic and is abt loosing her job because she is not a 'MEMBER' of Living faith and is teaching in their school. They told her yesterday that she should either join them or be dismissed from her work. Do u get the point?

darknez:
You are hurting and for that I empathize with you. My story is strikingly similar to yours. I am based in Lagos, she in PH; I am Catholic, she is technically not a Catholic. Our Introduction was fixed for the 27th of August, 2015 but this was never to be, as today we aren't togethert, and like you, I was crushed by this realisation.

However, a notable difference between you and I is that I have since gone past my hurt and I do not particularly hold anyone or group, be it individuals, Church or family, responsible for our not being together today. I simply took it as God's will. If indeed God had willed that she be my wife, we would still be together today.

The truth is, if you are looking to get married and bring up your children as Protestants, I would advise that you do not waste your time with Catholic ladies who cherish their faith, for it is something that they are prepared to give their life for, let alone give it up so cheaply for the sake of marriage.

I am a Catholic and I do not see myself given up my faith for anyone. It is too precious a gift. Your story is quite sad and from the standpoint of one who has that experience, though in reverse, I understand your hurt perfectly. When I was hurting, I felt physical pains in my heart, for which the scars are still there even though I have gone past it.

Thence, I urge you, in the strongest terms possible, to move on. Moving on is never easy but it brings in its wake, a healing we cannot fathom. Crying over spilt milk is never worth it. Pick yourself up and find love again. This time, get someone you are compatible with in totality, to include a compatibility of faith.

Even though am a catholic, but catholic cannot decide who gives me happiness for the rest of my life. We Christians are sometimes too religious for our own good. In the bible, there is nothing like denominations, it's all fraud brought to us by the west. We worship the same God. For a girl not to accept a God fearing man because of denominations is total blindness & stupidity. My guy should move on. The girl don't deserve you.

Touching story..

I just don't understand the father. so he won't allow her to marry anyone except from catholic? hummm

gamaliel121:
Am soo sorry bro..its really painful man.
If I was you, I'll do the marriage the catholic way and get the love of my life first.( Afterall it's the same God we serve). Then when I take her home, I can do whatever I want and they have to follow.
All this dogmas and traditions and shiiit..
My friends elder bro wanted to marry this girl, he's being with her for 3 years and there were soo into each other, but when the time came, her parents refused. You know why? Because the elder sister had not married so she has to wait for the elder sister to marry first. Lol

That's marriage by deception.

What is so special about being a catholic sef? There is only one way to God and it is through Jesus Christ his son!

The bible never said only Catholics will make it into heaven so whoever is carrying catholic on the head as if it is an automatic passport to heaven is deluding himself!

Jesus is the only way, truth and life! Not the church you attend or the Pope, Priest, Pastor, Bishop, Evangelist or Reverend that you think is the epitome to holiness. They are all men and can fall.

kle4d:

Oga the Catholic Church does not teach that you marry only Catholics.
Marry any Christian or someone who is willing to be converted to Christianity.
But the truth is a few Catholics never want to go outside the Catholic Church for reasons best known to them.
My elder brother, a catholic, married a Protestant and they are both Catholics today.
The girl I'm liking is a Protestant and she will end up a catholic.
We have a lot of Protestants out there who for no reason won't want to be Catholics like the OP (reasons best known to them).
The truth is I WAS BORN CATHOLIC, BRED CATHOLIC AND I WILL DIE A CATHOLIC . NO OFFENCE.

Wdnt you want to die with Christ rather than die a Catholic?? Just saying...

fammo:
My brother, if the man is not ready to accept to your own terms please move on, love and marriage is not a do or die affair. It will be a failure on your part for your family to be ran based on the dictates of another man, what is d guarantee that principle imposition will only be limited to the church your wife and children will attend? Your fiancee too is not helping matters, when she is truely ready to marry you she will take her stand and face her parent......gals plenty out dia, marry the one dat does not come with terms and conditions.....wish you the best in life

bro is not as easy as u think,especially when u intend spending the rest of our life with the one you love.

Drfinn:
Precisely, on 31st March, 2013 I asked my now ex to marry me. Not in some fancy restaurant, shopping mall or some heaven on earth theatrical setting. It was via a phone call. Surprisingly, we had never met in person! What madness!! Did she accept??

Love they say is like a butterfly, it perches wherever it wants. It's like a lion, it devours whoever that comes his way. How we fall in love at times is mysterious. We seldom have control in matters of the heart. This is how I felt the day I saw her picture carrying a child. Her little nephew. I love kids to a fault. In that split moment I told her how I wished it was our son she was carrying. That remark set aglow our hearts.

Initially, she doubted my sincerity. She had been hurt not once, twice but severally. Worse still she has a medical condition. A condition she erroneously thought will forever rob her of love. Hence her skepticism. Furthermore, my reputation with 'the ladies' on some social network we had met some years earlier was daunting. I had to prove my sincerity. I had to win her love.

As am typing this, my alarm just beeped! Its October 24th- the day I had slated for our introduction. Alas! It was never to be. Our love could not survive the divide. The 'hypocrisy' of the church has prevailed. I cannot believe am still hurting this bad. Maybe I was in a hurry to have ended it all. This is my story. Our story.

After the initial 'gragra' women exhibit we settled into a beautiful but distant relationship. She was based in Lagos, I in Port Harcourt. Days became weeks, and weeks months before our first physical encounter. I did first visit as a gent. We had wild fun!! Then came the moment of truth; a visit to her kit and kin to intimate them of my intention. Her brother-in law gave me his word. The only snag which was to destroy all we labored to build -the church! she is catholic, am protestant. She is Igbo am Ijaw.

True to his word, her brother-in law accompanied me to see her parents in her hometown- some community in Imo State. I was well received. Such a loving home. I made my intentions known with all seriousness. It's no child's play explaining while you consider a man's daughter worth more than other women to him. Thankfully, the son in-law gave me all the necessary support. However, convincing a retired teacher, a respected and unrepentant staunch catholic requires more than fancy words. I left that home with mixed feelings. Her father had plainly told me what mixed marriage entails. My wife and children will become 'properties of the catholic church'. It was non-negotiable.

I sought the advice of family members, and my pastor. All were of the opinion that her father's stance undermines my role as the head of our future family. Personally, I saw it as an 'indirect rule'. I enlisted one or two of her siblings, her mum inclusive to get her father to shift grounds. The old man wouldn't bulge. At my fiancee's suggestion I paid her uncle a scheduled visit. A Priest in some parish at Owerri. His stance was same as his elder brother's; convert to Catholicism or accept the terms of mixed marriage.

I was devastated. More so by my fiancee's shifting positions. Today she's all by my side, tomorrow she wants me to please her father. I saw it more as a character weakness than a woman drawn between love and the hands that fed her. Perhaps, it was a miscalculation on my part. She had her flaws. Mine was so glaring. But i found in her the woman of my dreams.

In the midst of this storm I had boldly gone ahead to fix today, October 24th my introduction day. I had called my Pastor to inform him, and a couple of family members. This decision was informed after my now ex had told me her siblings and other family members had prevailed on her father to soft pedal on his stance. He unbelievably agreed. So i thought. Until I made one more call!

The old man true to his principled nature remained unchanged. It was a blow too devastating to bear. I saw a relationship of over two years with countless sacrifices on both sides evaporate on the grounds of dogma. It hurts so bad to have met that special one only to realize you can not be with them for eternity. Should I have converted for love? That would have betrayed love itself. Love is without condition(s). Should I have settled for mixed marriage? Its unbearable! It's my responsible to provide both spiritual and physical nourishment for my future family.

So, it was only appropriate I let love go. If she finds her way back to me. I had be most fortunate not lucky. Fortune befriends the bold. A life of service to all humanity now beckons . It's a call I must answer. Who knows love maybe around the corner. Love knows no religious boundaries. Let's spread the glad tidings of ecumenism.

thanks presently I am facing such problem which is religion and the worst of all my father is playing radical about it.

Think! There is no religion in the life hereafter. When your spirit detaches itself from its earthly body at death, and you find yourself in the life beyond, you will not asked if you lived your life as a Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Hindu or whatever religious creed you practice. You will be asked if you have lived in accordance and in obedience to the Will and Laws of the Almighty in His Creation.

The decision by a man and a woman who have taken the decision to cling to each other as man and wife should not be subject to earthly religious practices to which they cling to. If both parties cannot free themselves of their differences in their earthly doctrines and focus on their love....which is the sole requirement that draws them together...then they are indeed NOT in love and are not meant for each other until they open up their inner spirit and come to the recognition that it must be the love they have for each other that should triumph over the obstacles faced in their environment either by parents, churches or their own misconception on what ought to be the binding force that should genuinely draw a man and woman together who have taken the decision to become man and wife.

It is this writer's hope that the OP and his proposed choice of woman he wants to make his wife can come to this recognition and not burden themselves due to their earthly religious beliefs. The decision lies on the man to decide and to cling to a woman that would in the first instance, love him for who he is, irrespective of his religious affiliation. If she refuses to act in this regard, then let her go and with earnest prayer, you will be guided to the woman who also has been spirituality open to receive you.

In the end, the purpose is for the man and his wife to help each other spirituality rise upwards to paradise.

Please be guided.

missyadorable:
This op sounds like a weakling.Gosh!

Hello kid, u don't have to comment all the time, u can just read comments and learn.

Wait oooo I tot we ladies dnt hv a particular religion till we gt married so y d big fuss....anyways d man neva ready to allow the daughter marry ad d grl isn't worth it abeg dis hapnd 2 my frnd ad gues wat my frnd did #she go carry belle# for d guy ad d dad had no choice buh to rush d wedding as a last resort after mch beggin frm d parents,so she took dat as a last resort ad dey r happily married...al dis staunch catholic parents can b annoyin esp those wey b knights 4 d church

0coded80:
go and read about martin luter(not the activist one o) they are about 3 of them bearing dat name, the denomination of churches today was done by him, he was the one that cause revolution dat happen in roman-catholic

So, all the churches mentioned in the Bible never existed?
You must be a joke