raumdeuter:


coogar and pickabeau can you identify all these new names and tie them to their old monicker

E.g who is Kimoni, Stillfire abi na stillwater

Stillwater/Stillfire - all the same

do not divorce him yet : your son is still young( secure yourself financially have a side boyfriend so that you won't have emotional pain it will be very difficult for you to change your husband's cheating ways the only way he may change is if he experience something bad while cheating why will he change he knows if he cheats you will still not leave him after all you are his wife i do not see him changing any time soon

nevanevaland:

Tx for d response.

1. None that am aware of
2. We argue about none.
Money: he's a very generous and caring husband, I give him dat. He's not interested in my money
Sex: we av a wild sex life, always hot
Personal interest: we understand n compromise wen necessary
3. I have no plan of remarrying, am OK with my son

He passed two out of 3 naaa sister, you seem like a good woman and your husband is just distracted, why not confront the man. If he doesnt change, you can proceed. ofcourse except you are totally tired of the marriage (as most married people are)..... We guys could be immature choosing the copper over the gold, but on his behalf i apologise. At least talk to the guy first and dont let your anger get the best of you (mistakes women make) cos if it does, you will only give him a reason to be defensive and can even hold you at your angry words.

@OP

I hope you don't have a false sense of belief that your husband will accord you all these analyses if you cheat eventhough you forgave him when he cheated. You and your ghana must go would be thrown out sharply.

bukatyne:
@TV01: To have 'passion' for less divorces is not enough; men and women need to be trained on how to make their marriages work.

Although you prefaced this with my moniker, I take it you are not addressing me specifically? If you are, I couldn't be more puzzled. I don't think anyone on this section is clearer,or enunciates more fully, their mission statement, or whom their main target audience is

bukatyne:
The emphasis on men because women have been trained for so long unfortunately, a tree cannot make a forest.

As above - if it's is me you are addressing directly, I can only guess there is something amiss.

bukatyne:
Men believing it is OK to cheat or throw bullshyte because they paid bride price or did 3 wedding ceremonies or are superior to women is unfortunately NOT an attitude that will help build strong marriages.

You would teach your grandmother to suck eggs - like seriously?

bukatyne:
As a norm, people do not marry to divorce in future. They marry to build a life together irrespective of whether old age/pregnancy/young age/loneliness/companionship/money/whatever reason.

Are you, like, having a conversation in your head with me, that I know nothing about? Not that I would know,mind or care, but repeating that in public is plain odd

bukatyne:
Teaching people epecially women to stay in shitty marriages so stem the divorce/seperation rate is futile.

Ok, who's logged in as Bukatyne and posting sket - and in a way that suggests there are some pathologies that need addressing

This one was incorrectly addressed - please return to sender !


TV

Kimoni:


Good news if this is really happening in Nigeria.

I think this was Edwife and byvan03 stance in that "other woman's" thread. Like byvan argued, I also agree they (man and mistress) should be jointly culpable.

Yes 0! I hear so much of no-fault divorce, I actually didn't realise, that not every nation had signed up to it. Only the "progressive", feminist led ones .

I was waiting for you all to deal with mindfulness - who claimed the woman "had a right". I'd honestly like her to tell us what that right is, and explain the underlying principle.

I'd also like her to explain how that "right" overrides a legal, cultural (societal), traditional (historical), moral and for many spiritual recognition of the agreement, contract, vows and covenant(sacrament) the couple made.

The positions such people take are often not even worthy of ridicule. High expectations....


TV

daretodiffer:
I won't use the word ‘many' however I do agree that some divorced are frivolous

We could argue that forever, and back and forth between most and many - first having agreed on what constituted frivolous, but here you go;

AyeeIdris:
But there is a lot of nonsense cases.

TV

[quote author=bukatyne post=39654978]

The emphasis on men because women have been trained for so long unfortunately, a tree cannot make a forest.

You repeatedly show your ignorance on the matter of family and marriage. Women have been trained for so long therefore, emphasis should be on men. Did it occur to you to ask if this so-called 'training' these women receive is sufficient or even effective? Would you, as a woman, say you know your role as a wife and mother and act accordingly? Because going by your posts in this forum, the loooong training you received is hardly enough, even bordering on defective.

Men believing it is OK to cheat or throw bullshyte because they paid bride price or did 3 wedding ceremonies or are superior to women is unfortunately NOT an attitude that will help build strong marriages.

Is it the feminist equality that you espouse or your blatant bible-twisting that you assume will by strong marriages? You're such a fine one to talk. In any case, that comment was made in jest, release yourself quick

Teaching people epecially women to stay in shitty marriages so stem the divorce/seperation rate is futile.

What makes it futile? What is the purpose of a marriage, the big picture? Do you even know? And why especially women? Men don't stay in shitty marriages, because, of course, most women are saints? Babe, I repeat, you dont know shiit. Just because you don't hear men wailing like bushbabies doesn't mean they aren't going through hard times in their homes and marriages. They just conduct themselves as men and discreetly work on whatever challenges they may have.

And no, Bukatyne, divorce doesn't help build strong marriages.

i read somewhere that you are dayo aboki...wow, i like the change mehn.

raumdeuter:


Kimoni cant be Osisi. Unless she don born again

What of Jennykadry Ileobatojo greatgod etc

Stillfire:
@OP

I hope you don't have a false sense of belief that your husband will accord you all these analyses if you cheat eventhough you forgave him when he cheated. You and your ghana must go would be thrown out sharply.

Well I do not think a husband is mandated to forgive his cheating wife because she forgave him when he cheated.

It is her decision to forgive; it is his not to.

[quote author=Timbuktou post=39659432][/quote]

I was going to respond to your bullshit but I read the last line. and decided against it.

If that is your summary of my post then it is pointless

bukatyne:


I was going to respond to your bullshit but I read the last line. and decided against it.

If that is your summary of my post then it is pointless

Oh, shut up. You have nothing worthy to say. Let me ask you then. What purpose, exactly, is your constant quick prescription of divorce meant to serve? Happiness? Liberation? Correction? Peace?
And how would you reconcile your divorce-happy counsel on this forum with the establishment of strong families/marriages; assuming you find that more worthy than your pseudo-equalizing mission, of course.

Bear in mind you're at liberty to post another halfassed cop-out. No be today.

No point TV01, no point taking her on as our values on marriage are pararell lines that would never meet. Again, why engage someone who is quick to go off on your family during a sane debate? To what end?

Biko, let me try and keep this short fuse of mine under tight lock and key.

Bukatyne,

Do me a favour and don't respond to the indirect attention-seeking jab to incite E-fight and later be claiming pseudo-innocuous/saintly.

Thanks.

Kimoni:
No point TV01, no point taking her on as our values on marriage are pararell lines that would never meet. Again, why engage someone who is quick to go off on your family during a sane debate? To what end?

Biko, let me try and keep this short fuse of mine under tight lock and key.

I disagree. Tedious as it may be, marriage is a societal artefact - it belongs to us all. So we are in a sense duty bound to treasure it for the benefits it accords.

One way of doing this is to defend it from attack. Her values are hers, marriage is ours. If her values are inimical to marriage, she is free to reject it, not infect or pervert it for everyone.

There is also a duty of care for those who may be listening, some may will swallow her not so subtle lies wholesale without much thought. It's poison.

Saying proclamations of love gives one the right to act as they please to satisfy that feeling is plain wrong in the context of marriage, and blasphemous when she tries to tie it to the biblical prescription for love.

She is almost certainly championing this path because it's one she has trodden - trying to normalise - even moralise - it is a lame attempt at self-justification. Pretty typical for transgressors of her type.


TV

FrancisTony:
Bukatyne,

Do me a favour and don't respond to the indirect attention-seeking jab to incite E-fight and later be claiming pseudo-innocuous/saintly.

Thanks.

LOLs!

Thank you Francis

cococandy:

You take some hypocrite asses around here serious?

I try not to

TV01:

Although you prefaced this with my moniker, I take it you are not addressing me specifically? If you are, I couldn't be more puzzled. I don't think anyone on this section is clearer,or enunciates more fully, their mission statement, or whom their main target audience is


As above - if it's is me you are addressing directly, I can only guess there is something amiss.


You would teach your grandmother to suck eggs - like seriously?


Are you, like, having a conversation in your head with me, that I know nothing about? Not that I would know,mind or care, but repeating that in public is plain odd


Ok, who's logged in as Bukatyne and posting sket - and in a way that suggests there are some pathologies that need addressing

This one was incorrectly addressed - please return to sender !


TV

That post was addressed to you.

Stillfire:
@OP
I hope you don't have a false sense of belief that your husband will accord you all these analyses if you cheat eventhough you forgave him when he cheated. You and your ghana must go would be thrown out sharply.

she would be very stupïd to hold on to such a belief!

Stillfire:

With the way the poster I quoted said it I thought the women go through Biafran war to marry, so it is ordinary praying and fasting?
Anyway I dunno the type of relationship that is going on there, the relationship I am familiar with is man meets woman, woman like man, they marry...No struggle abeg

i wish it was that simple!
man meets woman.......man already has about 5 side-chics. new woman likes the man in spite of the warning signs. woman marries man.....man impregnates one of his side-chics. a scandal ensues!

if you don't believe me, ask toke makinwa.

armyofone:
i read somewhere that you are dayo aboki...wow, i like the change mehn.

Yarinya, Yaya kwanabiu?

Ina kake yanzu

READ MY STORY ON HOW I HAVE BABY.
My Name is Moral,i live in California,i have a big testimony to say to the people who have Womb problem, I have been married for four years without any child, nor pregnancy and so i became very sad and lost hope in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant and this really make life so hard for me and this made my husband to turn away from me.My sister in-law told me about DR EZIKE from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry and that everything we soon be okay.He cast a spell and it was a miracle to my greatest surprise three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,and Dr.EZIKE he gave me just water from his temple to drink and he also gave my husband some thing to rub before we made love.just few months later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (boy and girl) we are now a happy family.i will advice you to email him now,ID:drezikespellcasterhome@outlook.com I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via Email:drezikespellcasterhome@outlook.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life.his mobile number on what/apps:+2348167554235.....

bukatyne:
That post was addressed to you.

I often wonder, is it comprehension, deduction, a memory disorder, an "inferior" IQ , or outright psychosis? Along with your ever present "complexes", it's kind of hard to tell really, as you at times present conditions & symptoms singularly or severally.

So, you call me to a thread I have no interest in - I arrived on page 6. I subsequently made clear my position;

TV01:
This thread is not about marriage, it's about divorce. So no, it's not what my vision is about.

which you had already acknowledged;

bukatyne:
I know you brand yourself as someone passionate about marriage; I was wondering if the picture painted on this thread is what your vision is about.

So please kindly explain how you made the unfathomable leap from there to here;

bukatyne:
@TV01:To have 'passion' for less divorces is not enough; men and women need to be trained on how to make their marriages work.

Then this;

bukatyne:
The emphasis on men because women have been trained for so long unfortunately, a tree cannot make a forest.

Who are my main audience on this forum? Do I not regularly - despite the fact that it could be considered somewhat off - drop comments specifically exhorting men? Have I not written a series of pieces advising men?

And this;

bukatyne:
Men believing it is OK to cheat or throw bullshyte because they paid bride price or did 3 wedding ceremonies or are superior to women is unfortunately NOT an attitude that will help build strong marriages.

Where have I ever said, insinuated or supported anything even remotely like what you typed

And this;

bukatyne:
Teaching people epecially women to stay in shitty marriages so stem the divorce/seperation rate is futile.

Where, when or to whom have I ever advised to stay in a "shitty marriage" - and only in order to "stem the divorce rate"
I can only recall one instance of properly responding to a divorce type situation;
https://www.nairaland.com/1284024/broken-dejected-found-out-wife/2#15635959

And all addressed specifically at me You have been willfully mis-ascribing things to me for as long as I've known you on this forum. I am always happy to be called out and open to challenge, but this kind of thing is simply quite pathetic.

I've advised you previously - stop having soliloquies in your own head and mistaking them for real life. Stop looking for imagined enemies to wage your campaigns against. If the issues are really there address them as they arise and direct your rejoinders to whomsoever raises them.

C'mon Bukatyne, I'm sure you are better than mere nuisance value.


TV

Lafiya , a aiki. Kuma your suna funny. Menini rodmeter

raumdeuter:


Yarinya, Yaya kwanabiu?

Ina kake yanzu

queenfav:
I am not married but I served as a mediator in matrimonial cases at a ministry of justice.Madam,take time out to talk to your husband,let him know the game is up.This is not the time for raised voices and tears.Instead of going through a divorce,you can arrange for marriage counselling for both of you.That way you can air your grievances before a neutral person.I have done a lot of divorce cases,and trust me when I say, work it out.The incident is not enough for you to start considering divorce.The marriage is not irretrievably bad yet.Besides,maybe you are not aware of this,95 percent of nigerian men cheat!that's the plain truth.Its just that most are gurus at covering their tracks well.Your husband was just sloppy about it.If you didn't check his phone,would you have known?Again,its a good thing his lifestyle has been exposed,that's why you have to talk it out.He has to be reminded that there's a high risk of veneral diseases and other attendant consequences of cheating.Depending on how you go about this issue,I am sure he should be able to change his ways.I still insist that you work it out.Thankfully,you agreed that he is a great husband in other areas.So just push divorce far from your mind,and salvage your marriage.If all this fails,then your conscience would be clear that you made an effort to fix it,but he wasn't willing to meet you halfway.God will see you through this.

May I digress a lil'bit.
@queenfav, having not been married and you are in an organisation that exposes you to marital problems mediation which most might likely be as a result of infidelity on the man's part, I am just wondering (I have not implied that you do) if it will not cause you to have trust issues with men. How are you dealing with that?

Baba skonskon ni TV01 yi haha easy 0

dinachi:
I think you should divorce him immediately. Divorce him and come and take your well deserved position on nairaland among the frustrated sex starved feminists here! You have no business being married in the first place. Does phone chats equate to cheating? Divorce him and go back to your lesbian ways,sicko!

How did I miss this post?
I thought you abide so much by biblical principal/standard going by your self-righteous posts.

Why are you not condemning the ADULTEROUS man since bible is so clear on it no sugar-coating?.

FrancisTony:

How did I miss this post?
I thought you abide so much by biblical principal/standard going by your self-righteous posts.

Why are you not condemning the ADULTEROUS man since bible is so clear on it no sugar-coating?.

As usual, you missed the whole pont! it is not about cheating here, it is about getting close to the man she once called husband to know what is happening, not coming to nairaland to whine about divorce but what do you know? This is not a homosexual relationship so you wouldnt know how it works would you?

TV01:

I often wonder, is it comprehension, deduction, a memory disorder, an "inferior" IQ , or outright psychosis? Along with your ever present "complexes", it's kind of hard to tell really, as you at times present conditions & symptoms singularly or severally.

So, you call me to a thread I have no interest in - I arrived on page 6. I subsequently made clear my position;


which you had already acknowledged;


So please kindly explain how you made the unfathomable leap from there to here;


Then this;

Who are my main audience on this forum? Do I not regularly - despite the fact that it could be considered somewhat off - drop comments specifically exhorting men? Have I not written a series of pieces advising men?

And this;

Where have I ever said, insinuated or supported anything even remotely like what you typed

And this;

Where, when or to whom have I ever advised to stay in a "shitty marriage" - and only in order to "stem the divorce rate"
I can only recall one instance of properly responding to a divorce type situation;
https://www.nairaland.com/1284024/broken-dejected-found-out-wife/2#15635959

And all addressed specifically at me You have been willfully mis-ascribing things to me for as long as I've known you on this forum. I am always happy to be called out and open to challenge, but this kind of thing is simply quite pathetic.

I've advised you previously - stop having soliloquies in your own head and mistaking them for real life. Stop looking for imagined enemies to wage your campaigns against. If the issues are really there address them as they arise and direct your rejoinders to whomsoever raises them.

C'mon Bukatyne, I'm sure you are better than mere nuisance value.


TV

What sort of "merciless advice" am I reading from this nairaland print out like this?

Bloody hell gaddemit!!!

dinachi:

As usual, you missed the whole pont! it is not about cheating here, it is about getting close to the man she once called husband to know what is happening, not coming to nairaland to whine about divorce but what do you know? This is not a homosexual relationship so you wouldnt know how it works would you?

Okay!.
I've gotten what I want.
This is how christians read bible -- pic attached!

freecocoa:
Come what is your problem? Why are you disturbing my moniker's peace? Move on already, It's not by force please.

Sweetheart, please remind me again how to download from YouTube. thnx

shoksimba:

Madam, its clear from your response that you indeed have a wonderful and caring husband, that both of you have a perfect marriage in bed and in home generallym. I'm only interested in the PERSONAL INTEREST YOU OFTEN COMPROMISE. If its not a serious thing like hving a child outside your marriage or likes of such that may later bring a threat to your marriage, I would advice you seek family intervention on this matter. Divorce is not advisble yet in this matter, many alternative problems solving are open to you(both) to make use of. Until when all efforts made has failed, tht you may seek divorce.
Before now you were "miss"
Now your are "Mrs"
Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.
Beside, I'm not soliciting nor support your hubby's cheating on you, but men are just too weak before their wives. You caan use your powers to make things right and with the help of God.
Remember: What God has joined together...let NO MAN not even a woman put assunder.
Please I'm sorry you're been cheated. Forgive him, approach him, sort out and iron out things and make your marriage work, make your son happy having you as a wonderful parents.
Stay Blessed

Please my dear kindly hearken to this advise if not for any other thing, just for the sake of your son.
I really feel your pains and will like to remind you of "No cross without a Crown" this might be your trying moment.
Please try to bear and conquer evil with good. In other words, try to forgive, forgo, feel free and fresh for your family again.
They actually need you. When Job was tempted, he stood his ground and finally made God proud. Wouldn't you like to make God proud again?

My dear, God has given you that family to behold and nothing will snatch it away from you (I pray).
Keep saying it, keep doing it, keep testifying and the good Lord shall see you through indeed!
If you have not been voicing it out pls start now to say nice things about your hubby and family even to his hearing.
If you have not been showing it in your actions, pls start now to do things that will give and bring joy/happiness to your family.
If you have not been telling about the goodness of your hubby/marriage/family, pls start testifying about it now to everyone.

Please do not over burden yourself with sadness and depression.
For sorrow may abound in d night, but joy will always come in d morning.
Always remember that we(Nairalanders) love you.
I personally love and care for you and your happiness.
It is well with you, darling.