cococandy:

@bold blasphemy. How dare you?
Even if she's been employed from the day one of the marriage and they've been married for 15 yrs, built houses together and acquired property together. She should be thrown out.

Asking for anything else is unfair. That's how the west favors women against men. Giving them 50 percent of 'the man's' wealth.

I have learnt to read past some lies in this section. That is one of them. Those of us who live in the west know it's not true and quite frankly even those who say it know it is a lie.

byvan03:


Oohhooooo!!!!The law is definitely wise!

Yes baby! We were not clueless after all!

cococandy:

@bold blasphemy. How dare you?
Even if she's been employed from the day one of the marriage and they've been married for 15 yrs, built houses together and acquired property together. She should be thrown out.

Asking for anything else is unfair. That's how the west favors women against men. [size=40pt]Giving them 50 percent of 'the man's' wealth.[/size]

What do you expect when women who are in their life contributes nothing?.
In some cases, they write it out of bitterness & angst to win an argument - you know this section is all 'bout, "I must win the argument to sound logical" while my opponent withdraws.

...or simply, experience is the best teacher.
Don't dare say they are lying!
It must be all about EXPERIENCE.

babygirlfl:


You have done a great job. In this section, women have been scared by people telling them that women in Nigeria don't get anything after divorce. I am glad it's not the case and I think more women should be made aware of this.

Most of us don't support anybody who wants to reap where they did not sow. What we want is that women who have worked and built with their husband be well settled.

Also, most people would not support divorce for silly reasons. However, most people think a serial cheat and a wife beater is a flimsy reason to divorce.

The funny thing is, as near as 2012, when i left practice, our court system is overwhelmed by plenty divorce matters. People are no longer staying in abusive marriages. who wan die young? But there is a lot of nonsense cases. I remember one case where the husband and wife got into a heated argument because the husband wanted to give their two year old daughter viju milk at 9 p.m. It turned into a physical fight and then the next day, the wife's brother went to the man's church to embarrass him. So they were filing for divorce.

I can never forget that day. As she was narrating, i was just looking at her. In my mind, i wanted to slap her with my pen. I was like 'Choi. Aisha!!!! see your life! Five year of School. One year in Law school. Two Years for Masters. And you are here discussing viju milk". The un serious couple settled during the family conference

Kimoni:


Good news if this is really happening in Nigeria.

I think this was Edwife and byvan03 stance in that "other woman's" thread. Like byvan argued, I also agree they (man and mistress) should be jointly culpable.

It makes a lot of sense if this information is reliable. I can't understand letting the mistress waltz away unscathed.

daretodiffer:

The consequences is different because you made it so. I hope you live long enough to rewrite the consequences with us

how did i make it so?
don't make it so.....blame nature! if an SS2 female student gets impregnated by her classmate. who do you think would suffer the graver consequence.

Men like women are illogical and sentimental. They want to keep the status quo and are not willing to explore and analyse the grievances of women to reach a logical conclusion.

the status quo kept families together.
the marriages weren't exactly perfect but it worked. most children lived with both parents and it worked to the benefit of the society at large.

fast forward to now....
women like you want more, they want more exploration & analyses & it's straining the relationship between the male & the female. divorce rate went higher & the society is nothing to write home about!

For that reason, the law continues to systematically put them at a disadvantage

which disadvantage?
women still tend to get the perks.

What is good for the geese is also good for the gander especially in situations where it encourages and institutionalises behaviours that demeans, hurts and disrespects a particular gender and further worsen the situation by telling them to just suck it up.

where? how?
what is encouraging behaviours that demeans & disrespects a particular gender. reading the above comment, you almost had me fooled that women don't cheat at all on their husbands. it's a misdemeanour typically known to males & yet paternity fraud in this part of the world is about 50% for firstborns.

daretodiffer - you should change your moniker to daretoclown.

Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.

Lmao! Some of these advice...what on earth does a woman go through before she marries? Abi something different is happening in that una Nigeria I don't know of? You guys should gist me.

Stillfire:


Lmao! Some of these advice... what on earth does a woman go through before she marries? Abi something different is happening in that una Nigeria I don't know of? You guys should gist me.

[img]http://4.bp..com/-l_19DoU6vPc/US4tiypCIFI/AAAAAAAAflk/VYkylPPBrWA/s400/church+poster+3.jpg[/img]

coogar:


[img]http://4.bp..com/-l_19DoU6vPc/US4tiypCIFI/AAAAAAAAflk/VYkylPPBrWA/s400/church+poster+3.jpg[/img]

Lmao! You are not serious.

Stillfire:


Lmao! You are not serious.

Why not? Is the ministry for securing husband's for desperate women not a goldmine. Look at any Chris Ojigbani drama show and notice the most ardent customers.

coogar:


these women aren't smiling.....
if ridiculous divorce payouts start in nigeria, the wives themselves would be the ones setting up their husbands with younger women. as long as they can get evidence of infidelity, maga must pay.

As in..

Stillfire:

Lmao! You are not serious.

close to 60% of the single babes in nigeria attend these church programmes on a weekly basis. my dear, the struggle is real.

pickabeau1:

As in..

the struggle is real.

AyeeIdris:


Marriage is not boyfriend or girlfriend things where you vex and send a " I am breaking up with you"message. Bad behavior cannot be excused but you cannot just divorce over things that can be worked out. The husband is cheating. Reprehensible. Has she spoken to him? No. Courts don't grant divorces anyhow. They will always order a family conference. Do you know how many cases I have had that the couple reconciled at the family conference, wasting My Time, MY brain and NOT COMPLETING MY fees. Matters that they can solve if they just applied a little tolerance and worked through their problem instead of running to divorce.

Choi. It used to pain me back then. I was happy they reconciled but complete my darn fee

I like you and your position already. Are you a new poster or a born again Old poster

AyeeIdris:

I can never forget that day. As she was narrating, i was just looking at her. In my mind, i wanted to slap her with my pen. I was like 'Choi. Aisha!!!! see your life! Five year of School. One year in Law school. Two Years for Masters. And you are here discussing viju milk". The un serious couple settled during the family conference

Is this the famous Aishatu Ella?

raumdeuter:


I like you and your position already. Are you a new poster or a born again Old poster

she's a newly born again old poster.

coogar:


she's a newly born again old poster.

coogar and pickabeau can you identify all these new names and tie them to their old monicker

E.g who is Kimoni, Stillfire abi na stillwater

raumdeuter:


coogar and pickabeau can you identify all these new names and tie them to their old monicker

E.g who is Kimoni, Stillfire abi na stillwater

You have called the right people for moi actually

raumdeuter:


I like you and your position already. Are you a new poster or a born again Old poster

I am more of a "read and laugh but won't comment lest one small boy/girl starts cussing me' old poster. been there since 2008. I don't like being insulted and i don't want to trade insults, so i usually find it best to lay low before...but I have more time so i have to decided to be a more active member.....until person abuse me

raumdeuter:


coogar and pickabeau can you identify all these new names and tie them to their old monicker

E.g who is Kimoni, Stillfire abi na stillwater

easy....
£10 per each name revealed.

of course, the first request shall be free of charge.

stillfire = stillwater
skimoni = osisi

raumdeuter:


Is this the famous Aishatu Ella?

No idea who that is

coogar:


easy....
£10 per each name revealed.

of course, the first request shall be free of charge.

stillfire = stillwater
skimoni = osisi

Laugh wan kee me ooooo

coogar:


how did i make it so?
don't make it so.....blame nature! if an SS2 female student gets impregnated by her classmate. who do you think would suffer the graver consequence.




the status quo kept families together.
the marriages weren't exactly perfect but it worked. most children lived with both parents and it worked to the benefit of the society at large.

fast forward to now....
women like you want more, they want more exploration & analyses & it's straining the relationship between the male & the female. divorce rate went higher & the society is nothing to write home about!




which disadvantage?
women still tend to get the perks.




where? how?
what is encouraging behaviours that demeans & disrespects a particular gender. reading the above comment, you almost had me fooled that women don't cheat at all on their husbands. it's a misdemeanour typically known to males & yet paternity fraud in this part of the world is about 50% for firstborns.

daretodiffer - you should change your moniker to daretoclown.

You are being sentimental


Bwahahaha, that is what they will have us believe so that men can continue to act with total disregard while their partners have to suck it up. I have seen two cases of teenage pregnancies and with appropriate help and support, they grew up to be better than their mates. The society is not in a postion to castigate them, rather it should be blamed for ruining their lives. Give them the necessary help and support that week prevent unplanned pregnancy and also help then through one.







I don't see why this new model shouldn't work but of course, you wouldn't want it to work, would you?







Women get the perks in court and sincerely I hate it. In reality, It hasn't change anything so far, men still want to eat their cake and have it. If we can change that, the court might loosen its victim approach to gender issues (some western countries like Germany have began to favour a more equitable approach).


What happens when a woman cheats? She leaves immediately. She and kids get tagged for life. If the man were the perpetrator, the wife would be told to suck it up. It is part of marriage. They don't want to know how she feels, she must look the other way. And the average man still believes that it is normal for men to cheat therefore he just couldn't be bothered about being careful.





Have you ever gone thorough a rape thread on Nairaland?
Aren't you aware of the ceaseless slut-shaming on Nairaland?
Are you aware that most men still find a way to justify physical assault against women?

Whether you like it or not, these few examples are still huge concerns for women.





So you know, I am not denying the fact that there are injustices against men however are ever ready to see it as part of being a man (in fact I will be writing on redefining domestic abuse). Basically, you are responsible for being in this position. And my insistence on treating others fairly does not mean that I disagree that men are naturally superior to women but the superiority does not mean that we have to be treated like rubbish.






I am going to ignore that statistic again.

coogar:


easy....
£10 per each name revealed.

of course, the first request shall be free of charge.

stillfire = stillwater
skimoni = osisi

Kimoni cant be Osisi. Unless she don born again

What of Jennykadry Ileobatojo greatgod etc

babygirlfl:


You have done a great job. In this section, women have been scared by people telling them that women in Nigeria don't get anything after divorce. I am glad it's not the case and I think more women should be made aware of this.

Most of us don't support anybody who wants to reap where they did not sow. What we want is that women who have worked and built with their husband be well settled.

Also, most people would not support divorce for silly reasons. However, most people think a serial cheat and a wife beater is a flimsy reason to divorce.

It is a flimsy excuse for the wife

If it was the husband , this thread would have ended with divorce her.

AyeeIdris:


The funny thing is, as near as 2012, when i left practice, our court system is overwhelmed by plenty divorce matters. People are no longer staying in abusive marriages. who wan die young? But there is a lot of nonsense cases. I remember one case where the husband and wife got into a heated argument because the husband wanted to give their two year old daughter viju milk at 9 p.m. It turned into a physical fight and then the next day, the wife's brother went to the man's church to embarrass him. So they were filing for divorce.

I can never forget that day. As she was narrating, i was just looking at her. In my mind, i wanted to slap her with my pen. I was like 'Choi. Aisha!!!! see your life! Five year of School. One year in Law school. Two Years for Masters. And you are here discussing viju milk". The un serious couple settled during the family conference

Don't you think the court should in addition to throwing such cases out start issuing a fine to couples who bring ridiculous cases?

And I think women should start trusting their husbands with child care more

bukatyne:


It is a flimsy excuse for the wife

If it was the husband , this thread would have ended with divorce her.

Na so we see am.

daretodiffer:

You are being sentimental

how so?

Bwahahaha, that is what they will have us believe so that men can continue to act with total disregard while their partners have to suck it up. I have seen two cases of teenage pregnancies and with appropriate help and support, they grew up to be better than their mates.

you didn't quite answer my question. the question is, who carries the graver consequence. for the male, nothing happens. he's not going to carry the child or hushed into the labour room to push & he's not going to lose a year to take care of the child. is the society to blame for this simple illustration?

The society is not in a postion to castigate them, rather it should be blamed for ruining their lives. Give them the necessary help and support that week prevent unplanned pregnancy and also help then through one.

we ain't talking about the castigation.....we are talking about the consequences. even in developed countries where teenage pregnancy is prevalent, the females still bear the brunt of indiscriminate sēx. it's all tied to nature!

I don't see why this new model shouldn't work but of course, you wouldn't want it to work, would you?

why fix what's not broken?

Women get the perks in court and sincerely I hate it. In reality, It hasn't change anything so far, men still want to eat their cake and have it. If we can change that, the court might loosen its victim approach to gender issues (some western countries like Germany have began to favour a more equitable approach).

now you are talking.....

What happens when a woman cheats? She leaves immediately. She and kids get tagged for life.

men made this standard for themselves. women should follow suit and make infidelity an unforgivable misdemeanour!

If the man were the perpetrator, the wife would be told to suck it up. It is part of marriage. They don't want to know how she feels, she must look the other way. And the average man still believes that it is normal for men to cheat therefore he just couldn't be bothered about being careful.

we are africans!
there's a long tradition that allows a man to take more than a wife. nigerian marriages are also backed by islamic laws which actually makes polygamy very legal. we are not breaking the law.

Have you ever gone thorough a rape thread on Nairaland?

i despise rape threads!

Aren't you aware of the ceaseless slut-shaming on Nairaland?

women slut-shame more than men! the men learnt from the women.

Are you aware that most men still find a way to justify physical assault against women?

not exactly!
men only justify retaliation. if a man suddenly starts beating a woman on the street, men would descend on him & beat him up. however, in cases where women draw the first blood, it becomes a bit more complicated.

Whether you like it or not, these few examples are still huge concerns for women.

i can give you a shopping list of huge concerns for men but i cannot moan. i wasn't trained to moan, whinge or complain.

my emotions have been taken out of me by the same society that turns the other eye when you cry.

So you know, I am not denying the fact that there are injustices against men however are ever ready to see it as part of being a man (in fact I will be writing on redefining domestic abuse). Basically, you are responsible for being in this position.

just like i was telling you earlier....
men don't whinge. we have chosen this path, there's no need to complain about whatnot. my fate has been sealed - everything that happens to me is part of being a man.

And my insistence on treating others fairly does not mean that I disagree that men are naturally superior to women but the superiority does not mean that we have to be treated like rubbish.

now, this is what i like to hear.

I am going to ignore that statistic again.

hehe!

AyeeIdris:


The funny thing is, as near as 2012, when i left practice, our court system is overwhelmed by plenty divorce matters. People are no longer staying in abusive marriages. who wan die young? But there is a lot of nonsense cases. I remember one case where the husband and wife got into a heated argument because the husband wanted to give their two year old daughter viju milk at 9 p.m. It turned into a physical fight and then the next day, the wife's brother went to the man's church to embarrass him. So they were filing for divorce.

I can never forget that day. As she was narrating, i was just looking at her. In my mind, i wanted to slap her with my pen. I was like 'Choi. Aisha!!!! see your life! Five year of School. One year in Law school. Two Years for Masters. And you are here discussing viju milk". The un serious couple settled during the family conference

I am glad women are beginning to get out of abusive marriages. Now the example you gave is what we call flimsy.

Timbuktou:


Why not? Is the ministry for securing husband's for desperate women not a goldmine. Look at any Chris Ojigbani drama show and notice the most ardent customers.

coogar:

close to 60% of the single babes in nigeria attend these church programmes on a weekly basis. my dear, the struggle is real.
the struggle is real.

With the way the poster I quoted said it I thought the women go through Biafran war to marry, so it is ordinary praying and fasting?
Anyway I dunno the type of relationship that is going on there, the relationship I am familiar with is man meets woman, woman like man, they marry...No struggle abeg

AyeeIdris:


The funny thing is, as near as 2012, when i left practice, our court system is overwhelmed by plenty divorce matters. People are no longer staying in abusive marriages. who wan die young? But there is a lot of nonsense cases. I remember one case where the husband and wife got into a heated argument because the husband wanted to give their two year old daughter viju milk at 9 p.m. It turned into a physical fight and then the next day, the wife's brother went to the man's church to embarrass him. So they were filing for divorce.

I can never forget that day. As she was narrating, i was just looking at her. In my mind, i wanted to slap her with my pen. I was like 'Choi. Aisha!!!! see your life! Five year of School. One year in Law school. Two Years for Masters. And you are here discussing viju milk". The un serious couple settled during the family conference

bukatyne:


It is a flimsy excuse for the wife

If it was the husband , this thread would have ended with divorce her.

You take some hypocrite asses around here serious?

@TV01:

To have 'passion' for less divorces is not enough; men and women need to be trained on how to make their marriages work.

The emphasis on men because women have been trained for so long unfortunately, a tree cannot make a forest.

Men believing it is OK to cheat or throw bullshyte because they paid bride price or did 3 wedding ceremonies or are superior to women is unfortunately NOT an attitude that will help build strong marriages.

As a norm, people do not marry to divorce in future. They marry to build a life together irrespective of whether old age/pregnancy/young age/loneliness/companionship/money/whatever reason.

Teaching people epecially women to stay in shitty marriages so stem the divorce/seperation rate is futile.