AVRecruit:


OP nemesis will surely catch up with you. ur a fornicator. just used the woman.

to the guy i quoted all this one na yarns.

if a man wants a young woman he should be encouraged to get what he wants. wanting a young woman isnt a bad thing. looks may be fleeting but isnt life on earth fleeting? Why should i marry a girl of 32 years after she been around? wat was she doing all those years. in the olden days girls that were 21 were already old. modern day girls better wisen up and leave female empowerment and feminism to where it belongs!

Please go back and read again.

I never said he should or should not marry an older or a younger woman.

I never said wanting a younger woman is a bad thing either.

Nothing in that write up says the girl has been around, so how you arrived at this is only forever going to be know exclusively to you.

What was she doing all those years? A host of things comes to mind; Getting educated, Focusing on building a career and a life, self improvement, Living her life the best she can whilst waiting on true love to happen, e.t.c.

Nobody talked about female empowerment or feminism here except you.



I may be Mad, but you sure as hell have 'a Beautiful Mind'. #GoFigure.

[quote author=Cutehector post=39924924]Its not normal cold feet. U should be very much worried...


U said it
I love her out of pity.


Neva eva marry out of pity...

Instead, take her picture and while lookin at her, take a pen and paper and write out good reasons why u wr attracted to her in d first place.. What makes her so special. Look at the good sides and list dem out... While doin dis, ask for an alone time from her to think. One week should be enough.. No communication...




Wen d week is ova, thank me later.
I concur! You have said it all

richyuch:
Hey... With ur write up... I tink the issue here isn't loving her outta pitty or she going thru the maturity stage... Everyone would pass thru that stage eventually... Making the I do decision shouldn't be based on the 'fine face syndrome' rather the character and attitude of the babe... We have sooo many fine faced girls with demonized characters... This decision isn't for only you... Its also for ur unborn children ...if u say u guyz have been thru the craziest issues together and she took all u r shits and still remained... Brother.. Nothing else can push her out...Coz not all girls in our society today can take shits from their dudes..they'll rather Bleep ya bestie to make a point..what if u get the fine faced queen and get married to her and then some tin terrible happens that makes her face bad or better still would u divorce her wen she gets to her 60?... Again brought.. It ain't about the face buh the characters of that woman...see our social media today.. What most girls have to offer and showcase is their butts and faces... Nothing else.. And even the butts.. Like 1000 dudes Don visit am and still counting.. Please be smart and get an elders consult before u make a terrible mistake... No go use wife as girlfriend oh

powerful post!

fammo:
Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need your help.

I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going through with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.

Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

if you mention certain cpncerns about her and still afraid to confront her about your doubts then there is a problem

Who is pitying who? The lady suppose to pity the man bcs he didnt not know what he wants, atleast the lady knows what she wants and have gone for it. If u think u r pitying d lady by deciding to marry her, ur very wrong. I think u shld look beyond that and see that marrying her, is doing what is the right thing to do. The problm we men have is the ego to alwas absolve ourselves frm our wrongs and responsibilities, even when we cheat we must have reasons to absolve ourselves and still push the whole blames to women, failing to keep d vow we make in the beginning. We shld all know that we are not doing women favour by marrying them, that is how God has made it frm the begining which without living on earth would have been miserable. So, my brother, as long as u look beyond or take away that pity notion and take her as ur wife, the better for u, bcs u might have the same notion towards another lady, bcs thats jst d product of mind. Marriage is a union of two imperfect being, who came together to accept their imperfection.

What religion did she practice before she met you?

You are already confused in life you don't no what to do you better seat properly and think what to do the woman you took to their parent you pronounce are want to marry your daughter sir you started having filling about her that mix you are claim the ladder

[size=13pt]Im a guy, and you fall my hand. personally i think its too late to start talking all these things when she has been only a good woman.

No woman is perfect, you will never find one. shii, im sure you are not all that yourself or else you would be a super model yourself for C.K by now. If she has been only good to you, stay with her and determine to make the marriage work. Read the book of proverbs for wise words on marriage, ud be fine.[/size]

MadCow1:


Please go back and read again.

I never said he should or should not marry an older or a younger woman.

I never said wanting a younger woman is a bad thing either.

Nothing in that write up says the girl has been around, so how you arrived at this is only forever going to be know exclusively to you.

What was she doing all those years? A host of things comes to mind; Getting educated, Focusing on building a career and a life, self improvement, Living her life the best she can whilst waiting on true love to happen, e.t.c.

Nobody talked about female empowerment or feminism here except you.



I may be Mad, but you sure as hell have 'a Beautiful Mind'. #GoFigure.

sorry boss im on a mobile device. only the 4th sentence of that post applies to u. the rest were my opinion.

well females being educated pursuing career and being empowered by feminism till 32 keep doing that. its ur life!

If I were close to this op at the moment eh, I would have seperated him from his manhood.
And the worst part of it is that they will still be the ones to accuse her of not getting married not knowing what she has experienced in the hands of men.

Follow ur heart. He who wears shoe knows where it pinches

Seriously are you blind this all this year or you're looking for excuse to settle with young blood.

Break up and ruin her life but remember God dey oooo

fexyrich:
Op you are a very wicked and evil genius to ever think of calling off a marriage with a girl that has wasted her time,energy and even made sacrifices for you..Don't you have a conscience??why didn't you think like this at the onset..Why now that she has gone this far with you.. If she is your sister and someone does that to her how would u feel..Do you know how many men she might have turned down just to be with you..If you dare try and brake that girls heart any curse she lays upon you will surely follow u.What exactly do u want in a woman..Is it these daughters or jezebel that we see every were today that you think are better?? I know a man and several men who are living under serious curses from ladies they wasted time with and later dumped..I know of a lady who cursed her man of many years who dumped her for another girl after he made money. saying that he would never live to marry another woman..MY dear that guy died in an accident while taking his new iyawo to d east to see his parents,The lady survived but d guy died with his sister..Don't ever joke with the fury of a scorned woman..After u don chop all d nutrients from her come waste all her years with you,you now want to dump her at this stage. For a flimsy excuse such as looks instead of even her character.Some men are really heartless!!Go and marry your wife,And love her as God has commanded you..Even the most beautiful girl u know today might become far less attractive after givin birth to kids..Love is what matters.Evryoda thing is superficial.

This person has said it all and this is the most useful so far. fammo, here's your advice, stick with it. Forget all else.

God bless you, fexyrich

The thing with nighaz is they feel they have allot of options. After all, desperate chicks are everywhere abi?

Granted, it is not advisable to get married out of pity but like others are wondering, did you just notice her aging or what?

Oh well, no matter who you want to marry, you'll ALWAYS have cold feet when you're almost there so that's something you must consider.

Ultimately, it's your decision. If you don't want again, you let go... the earth will keep spinning.

Hopefully she'll find someone else.

He is having this feeling cos he close to marrying her...He never said he use to have issue with the aging...so it's a case of cold feet jaree...that's d feeling...u start feeling like it's out of pity that's why u're staying not knowing it's d love in you that is provoking d thoughts trying to justify why u shd not leave...am going through same now bro...but with time away from her I've discovered it's not more less been with her.

Boy, do u knw wot makes every1 2 bhave d way dey do?
Dat is called TEMPERAMENT - eg. Sanguine, phlegmatic, MelSan, ChlMel etc.
Don't marry witout knw these and d correct pair n knw if both of u match.
I also tell ppl dat, Thinkin dat ur guy/gal is an angel is simply a sign of shot-sightednes and failur. Lov is nt blind. It is ppl who r blind. U must knw both hs wikneses and strnght durin kotshp bf u conclud weda u can acomodate doz wikneses.
Test every love with your peace of mind, if peace of mind is absent, God is not in it.
D knwlge of temprmnt is d begnin of sucesful marage.
Gudluk!

Jollyjoy:
wonders!!

You are advising her to marry out of pity to the poor woman uuuh


Listen,no matter how painful letting her go will be it still far better than making her miserable for the life of her....

you are a big fool. I swear

fammo:
Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need your help.

I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going through with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.

Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

I don't think u love her for real..yeah, u get along,sexx is probably very great btw u guys,...for u to say u love someone nd u can still notice how she looks to the extent that it bothers u so much u feel she's old....if a person loves another person truly, what every other person might see as a negative side will probably be a source of joy to u or something u won't even notice at all.....for we men physical attraction comes first before love from the heart...so if the physical attraction which probably starts from the face to other body physique is already a problem...I doubt u can do forever with this lady

Raymonbell:
Seriously are you blind this all this year or you're looking for excuse to settle with young blood.

Break up and ruin her life but remember God dey oooo

i completely agree. this is unacceptable and hope she doesnt swear for you because if she does it most likely will come to pass. u just cant ruin someone's life like that. in as much as u have options as a man its ordered liberty for those seeking divine blessings. otherwise be prepared for nemesis.

You only realised she looks older than you a week to your wedding


Seriously? After everything she gave up for you? I have no words for you OP

fammo:
Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need your help.

I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going through with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.

Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

Bro its your life and your solo journey..if you believe she does not turn you on physically by virtue of the age thing or whatever..please take a walk. It is a terrible thing to marry a lady you are not sexually attracted to physically,leave all the talks of good behavior and the GOD fearing thing.

Please let her go and im positive she will find a man who will find her very young,extremely sexy and in-disposable.

If you eventually marry her, you will love her alright but you will always have to fight the urge of not getting a lady out there who looks more alluring to you.

yapapa:
you are a big fool. I swear

the isult isnt neccessary,there are more mature way of passing your point across.

My dear,you are right,we all give advices,but cant advice ourselves. Please DO NOT MARRY OUT OF PITY! If your heart tells you can't do it,if you feels nothing for her,if you cant see the good in her superceeding the bad,if u cant see a bright future with a woman that will give you beautiful kids and bring them up well,if you cant see a soulmate ,if u can spend a full day without her and not give a tought about her,then i will ask you to quit. but if 80% of these is yes,then you better brace up and make a life with her.
It is very normal for a guy to have that misbelieve before he says "am ready". One of my brothers,after his introduction which no one forced him to do,came and told my mum he's not sure about it. i feel the reason y most guys have that doubt at that stage is becus they think there is a perfect woman that will make a perfect home out there. the fact is no,there isnt any perfect woman as there is no perfect man. If you have love & pity,you guys can work out but if just pity,forget it. as for the aging,it might be due to stress,you can make her look younger u know. One secret in marriage is,make your partner what you want him or her to be,and you will alwyas feel satisfied. Mind you,if u leave her to go find another,you will still post a problem here seeking advice. Not a curse but becus almost all good girls have all gone bad....

fammo:
Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need your help.

I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going through with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.

Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

Am a married man with more than 10years experience, so take my advise serious; u will be a very wicked man to discontinue the relationship @ dis point in time, whoever advise u to call it quit now knows nothing about marriage because all d excuses u av given is abt her physical attributes and not d essential part of marriage which is her character. So leaving her now only means one thing: YOU ARE NOT MATURED ENOUGH FOR MARRIAGE! So stop looking for advises that will suit ur inordinate desire and stick to d lovely diamond U av been very fortunate to have. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT SACRIFICES AND SHE HAS MADE THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE FOR YOU. Please go ahead and make that woman happy, remain blessed as you do the needful.

kramfonos:

You dated her even when you knew "she looks older".
She's made sacrifices for you and even changing her religion whilst fighting off the rebellious tag by her family.
She, according to you, has been faithful to you.
What else do you need, dude? Yeah, NEED and not WANT.
How sure are you that the other supposed YOUNGER-LOOKING girls aren't being masked by the thick coat of EMULSION PAINT they smear on their faces?

I think your priorities are misplaced.

I support this idea 100%.

fammo:
Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need your help.

I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going through with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.

Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

My brother, God is watching you ooo

Since October 2006 you have been on nairaland, only one topic and 206 posts!!!

Your mates who registered with you have got 175 topics and 23674 posts !!!

Seun should fine you for being an unrepentant observer on this forum!!!

Damnn

Boy, do u knw wot makes every1 2 bhave d way dey do?
Dat is called TEMPERAMENT - eg. Sanguine, phlegmatic, MelSan, ChlMel etc.
Don't marry witout knw these and d correct pair n knw if both of u match.
I also tell ppl dat, Thinkin dat ur guy/gal is an angel is simply a sign of shot-sightednes and failur. Lov is nt blind. It is ppl who r blind. U must knw both hs wikneses and strnght durin kotshp bf u conclud weda u can acomodate doz wikneses.
Test every love with your peace of mind, if peace of mind is absent, God is not in it.
D knwlge of temprmnt is d begnin of sucesful marage.
Gudluk!

JumpingChicken:


After fvcking her in and out, up and down you are begining to look for a stupid excuse abi? I see why its best to treat guys ur type like shit, becos that's the only way you hold your ladies in high regards. Now you will start getting advice here that " you should not marry out of pity" from people who know nothing about ur relationship.




You are a fool.

Best Advice Ever. U make sense bro

Jollyjoy:
the isult isnt neccessary,there are more mature way of passing your point across.

oya wayre ni? who be your papa mate?

I think your just developing cold feet, I mean why didn't you notice she looks older from the onset, why now after the introduction

I don't wana read ur thread just break d engagemennt if u have doubt else...dat doubt is goina turn to divorce