No, she is using me....................

Ucheosefoh:
Tell her to leave your house cus you can't be taking care of an ingrate then sort yourself out

What makes her an ingrate How old all of una be sef?

fayose4real:
i knw what i see in her that made me invest dat much in her, nt dat i dont knw what am doing, she is grade A wife material and she is very committed to the relationship, & very, very, & very decent a girl

My dear, in all you've said so far about your relationship, especially regarding your woman, this area is what really tickled my fancy. If she is really a confirmed wife material I think you need to sit her down and both of you should agree on a solution. She can be doing something like business to support her education, while you are also working and then enroll on part time to further your studies.
My dear, most of these ladies outside now are not wife materials. If you find one, abeg hold on to her. Girlfriend na im plenty pass now.





in other to further your education.
But have it

First and foremost, let me thank u for ur good deed. As far as I am concern she hasn't done anything so bad. A reasonable girl that love her man will behave d way she did. Don't forget she is 26 and u guys have been together long enough to be called husband and wife. Her reaction ur bsc pursuit is a result of fear that another girl will snatch u away from her. Pls be responsible and if u truly love her go and pay her bride price or at least do her introduction. She is tired of sex sex sex mind u she is 26 years of age.

Remember she is a girl and no time waits for them, just talk to her calmly and make her realize all what you are doing is for her and make her understand it that she is the one you are getting married to so she can be rest assured. if you can just do your introduction with her would be interesting, at least she would know you've taking a step before church wedding.

Dunno why someone will bring relationship palava for NL where majority of peeps here are kids and know nothing abt commitment den dey start abusing and calling your partner some disgusting names

Yeah, I hate ladies.....but on this one








The girl isn't totally wrong! Age isn't on her side oh....






Marry her and go back to school!

you both are unofficially married, I think she wants a divorce.

Stop thinking with ur Dick....thats the work of the brain. Chase ur dream bro. If she cant wait, you will find someone beta.

Always have an open door policy. Lobatan!

fayose4real:
Morning guys, there is this lady we have being dating over 4 yrs now, she is ok by me as we match each other perfectly, our relationship has being wonerfull, we live together through out our school days & even up till now, so i am the one providing food & taking care of her and truly i wasn't complaining as i do it with lot of joy because her mother died when she was ten years of age & her father is not financially buoyant, so because of the love i have for her i willingly and happily took up her responsibilities, due to the fact that i have my personal business which is bringing me money when i was in school, though she was the one paying her school fees her self then because she is not a lazy type that depends wholly on another.

her father could send some & she would add the rest from the petty she use to save. We both finished our ND programme in 2013 with upper credit in SLT, so we decided to cross to university through D.E, but unfortunately we were not offered admission to university, so i quickly returned to road construction as i am an excavator operator before gaining admission to ND. That was the 1st time we were separated by work since we started our relationship, my working place then was far so i used to send her money for her feeding every month. I knew for sure construction work is not reliable, & she will be starting her HND early 2015 so i decided to set up a viewing center business for her to be able to take care of her self and her HND school fees so that if the worst happened in my working place we will still be on a safer side & be secured.

I spent all my savings on setting up the business (over 270k) but couldn't complete it so i had to borrow (100k) from her to complete it. The reason for choosing that kind of business was to give her enough time to study as well as maintain the business at the same time, as matches are being played on weekends & any match that falls on midweek will be 7.45pm or 8.45pm, so i know it wont affect her studies. But unfortunately the business didn't excel due to the area, & fortunately for me again i got employed to the Nigeria Immigration then so i had to leave the construction work, & due to this fact we decided she try another DE because she loves medical line (nursing), & since i thought i was an immigration officer by then i agreed to sponsor her through it, 3 months of training no salary & i had spent all i had on that business which is not moving a bit, by that time i dont have anything like money again, to add more to my trouble we were suspended after 3 months of training till further directive, & dont forget that she is still on her HND, so i sold the viewing center at the rate of 150k & returned the 100k i borrowed from her 4 the business.

Fastforward to why am writting this epistle, when there is no sign from immigration that they will call us back, i decided to have a plan B if eventually they refuse to, so i told her that i will have to return to school for my BSc, hearing this from me this lady was so furious, she was so annoyed, she started saying all sort of things that she is 26 yrs of age now that how can i expect her to wait for another 4yrs before getting married, that God forbid bad thing in her life, that she can never wait that long for any man. I was so confused that i didnt even know what to say, i was now thinking that is this how life is, is this girl using me for her benefit or what, the same girl that wanted to abandon HND for 5 yrs nursing programme at university when i got employed, same girl is now claiming she cant wait for me if eventually i go back to school.

The 2nd day i got a call from the previous construction company that i should resume immediately so i rushed there to resume since i dont have any source of income at the moment. We later discussed the issue & she apologized for saying harsh things, & she is acting normal from the day of our discussion, but to my greatest surprise when i returned home on month ending break, this girl is now refusing my sexual advances towards her. Pls i need ur advice, what is happening to me?. Pls don't mind my grammatical error & my lengthy write up.

Bros! Welcome to the Ode club, we once pass through this Ode level.

But you know say you self no try! Why you go dey spend money like father Christmas and you dey vex because she no give you sex ABI?

Shall! By now you go start to dey use your sense now.

OP it's wrong to sponsor a girl you aren't married to with an expectation for marriage in return .

I would never do that. Its catastrophic!

Anyway I think she is right in her demand. Take her to the alter or nothing!

fayose4real:
i knw what i see in her that made me invest dat much in her, nt dat i dont knw what am doing, she is grade A wife material and she is very committed to the relationship, & very, very, & very decent a girl

I understand her,its hard for her to wait 4yrs till She is 30 when she is not sure you would end up marrying her at d end,why not go for ur HND which is 2yrs,or break up and let her go if she can't wait for You!

this guy na real mumu
E clear say u cast

Op,in my own opinion I don't think there is anything wrong in what she said/did. Why don't you make it official and make her yours.she is just scared of losing you and don't forget WOMEN HAVE THEIR TIME.

Putting in your entire life savings and borrowing to set up a business for a lady who is not your wife! Bros, you are not getting younger stocking your bank account should be your top priority. Next time you make sure you have up to #2million secretly in your account before spending #200K on a lady you're yet to marry.

So is it the sex that kept you together? Will giving you more sex makes you feel she is okay or still waiting for to marry you.

When did sex become ,A̶̲̥̅ criterion for marriage? Would Ɣ☺ΰ‎​‎ not think she must repented during the time of your absence?

Hey brother, repent and marry her decently, God bless you.

fayose4real:
yeah very decent i say, is true she may be living with me bt atleast she chose to sticks to one man truout up till now unlike some ladies which receive it from any angle witout being identified with 1 man, guy she is decently decent

Aint nothing decent bout a girl living with a guy.

Nice One Dear That's Lovely ..... One Nigeria Great Nation From Vivian Gist

If u could do all those fins for her y didnt u marry den ? Women r wiser nw o.

Shegebanti007:
Remember she is a girl and no time waits for them, just talk to her calmly and make her realize all what you are doing is for her and make her understand it that she is the one you are getting married to so she can be rest assured. if you can just do your introduction with her would be interesting, at least she would know you've taking a step before church wedding.

guy first of all look at the economic situation! you marry her now were you self dey struggle to survive. we have to look at our future kids and how to take good care of them. WOMEN at that age only think of marriage marriage and marriage with out thinking of the future and how you will bring up your child in this world.

...

fayose4real:
thanks 4 d avice, but why ar human beings like that? what baffles me most was dat if she eventually gained admission 2 d university as planned & i didnt av problem with my job, i would av waited for her and even sponsored her tru it, so why is she now standing against mine, by next yr now she will be HND graduate while i remain ND graduate, she is one step above me

receive sense in Jesus name. Guy, wake up b4 it bcoms too late. Can't believ u jst made dat statement

dropped it like it was hot. hard stuff to say but probably accurate

misspicy:
OP dump that lady now before its too late....since her life dream is to be married and you are not ready to marry yet,your visions are different so let her go asap

my opinion


lalasticlala

Bros So Far , You Have Tried and done so well. you deserve commendation, and Dont let boys on Nairaland make you feel like a loser because of your kind gesture so far.

I dont think your lady is being bad , rather she is being brutally honest with you, I think She loves you, She also appreciates all you have done, just that she is afraid of being a loser After waiting for you so long, losing in the sense, you might not get married to her years later.

Is Getting married while both of you still go ahead with school an option? If Yes, consider that, withholding childbearing till When both of you are ready to handle that challenge.

If She is worth all you have done so far, Do your best to to Protect this relationship.I dont think she is using you Rather you should be happy you have a lady that is brutally honest with you and told you as it is, Average lady today may not say anything , she will quietly dump you for the highest bidder

If Getting married now is not an option, Then You have to reassure her that she dont need to be afraid and you are hers( something like a promise, though this is riskier, And MAke sure you keep every of your word, cos if after waiting for you and you dump her, most especially for a younger girl, the course that this girl will place on you will surely follow you to your 20th generation) And Let it be that whatever you people are doing , you people are planning your future together.There are couples who have dated for years and have planed their lives together , you two can do it .

If the two Above options are not implementable for you people , then it is better you two sit down and dissolve this relationship peacefully and maturely

My guy u f**k up sha....

Reason 1: You spent all that for a bi*ch

Reason 2: You borrowed that sum of money from her to open up a business that will fetch u guyz sustainable income, and after all that bad bends along the road you decides to dispose the business at a very low value and even GAVE HER BACK THE 100K. This defines F**k up.

Reason 3: She said she wont wait for you to to finsh your studies before marriage and you are complaining. Baba is she not the de*il our parents warned us about? just asking

Now its time for my advice.

1: Baba run for your life
2: Pray to God to forgive your f**k up
3: Your Bsc go carry only your name.
4: Find another girl. them plenty outside my guy. just get out and get one in.

Any investment on a woman is like playing Baba Ijebu Lotto, you may win, you may loose!



I understand exactly how you feel because i've been a victim.



My verdict: Zero your mind on her and move on, hard to do but you need to gather your balls together. Before you leave her, give her one last solid sex and ejaculate massively, if she get pregnant you are ssaved if not, there are 2 things involved!

willyboss:
The eleventh commandment: Thou shall not sponsor a girl/woman you aren't married to through school.

nawa for u guys oh,i started school then my bf then now Husband sponsored me d second yr,d third yr we go married.dat commandment is true oh cos my hubby's frnd once sponsored a girl frm yr 1 to final yr,even got her a job when it was time,the aunt said Ebere cannot marry outside their tribe na so 8yrs of suffering went down d drain.sm women can be so wicked.

Op, first of all, u guys have been thru a lot so I expect that u guys will pull through all things being equal.
Ur girlfriend has insecurity issue coupled with the fear of unknown.
Her thinking is, she can be married yet still go to nursing school but as for u, u will be working and supporting the family. Although this line of thinking looks selfish but that's the idea of the poor girl. Remember, she doesn't have well to do folks, so try and understand her fears and worries no matter how selfish it looks. U can't label her selfish, remember she paid half of her tuition in school herself and she lent u 100k when setting up that viewing centre. This is a good sign, she will cooperate with u in life.
Trust me, there millions of ladies out there who will not contribute their kobo even to a family business.
Secondly, when there's an unsettled business with the female folks, withdrawing sex is the first axe they draw for battle, u should get used to this, as u will experience it often in marriage times without number.
3. As a man that u are, try and allay her fears, u guys can still be married with UNDERSTANDING. Since u have been living like married couples anyway. No need for elaborate wedding, just do the legal and traditional.
4. It is important that u guys discuss the future very well, as to how ur finances will be run. I wish u the very best. Don't give up on ur babe.

willyboss:
The eleventh commandment: Thou shall not sponsor a girl/woman you aren't married to through school.

said by who?. I think that the most important thing there is love, its obvious that the girl loves the guy but she is afraid that the guy will leave her, she may be feeling that the guy might only use and dump her. but don't marry her bcox she wants you to, but bcox you love her and want to marry her. good luck

The TRUTH remains dat nthin sed here wud be of any help to op. Js one peck from d babe, op will even forget he cr8ed a thread

[b][/b]end time relationship. Op before you continue are you a husband material. Men my advice is stop the sympathetic relationship and get focus to become a man before u look for a wife unless u are searching for a side chic