GodFrearing:


No I don't know his tribal name....is it different than his name?

GodFrearing:

Sorry so long, but had to make sure I gave all the information lol

jmaxjohn:

Chai. Y i call u sef
Mawnin dear

Michellla:
Some questions you could ask yourself in this area include: Have you ever seen where he lives, especially after dating for an extended time? Does he avoid talking about how he spends his personal time? Do certain facts he reveals about his life seem to be contradictory?
these are some questions you should ask yourself

misspicy:

lol,that's the truth now

and can you see that Xpac01 trying to turn this into a tribal thing,read his last comment...
when will Nigerians stop been foolish?


good morning

GodFrearing:


He showed me his house already and said he wanted me to come visit him and his door is always open. No he doesn't really avoid talking about his personal time. He texts me all day throughout the day. We have video called a couple of times. Generally I have not found anything really to contradict him other than those pictures from 2011 or so. I asked him if I can come by whenever I want without having to call. He said yes his door is always open for me. And he said when he starts his course and gets a job he will give me a key to his place. I am not terribly concerned about him seeing other people here it is more of back home if he really has a wife and kids......

misspicy:

lol,that's the truth now

and can you see that Xpac01 trying to turn this into a tribal thing,read his last comment...
when will Nigerians stop been foolish?


good morning

GodFrearing:


He showed me his house already and said he wanted me to come visit him and his door is always open. No he doesn't really avoid talking about his personal time. He texts me all day throughout the day. We have video called a couple of times. Generally I have not found anything really to contradict him other than those pictures from 2011 or so. I asked him if I can come by whenever I want without having to call. He said yes his door is always open for me. And he said when he starts his course and gets a job he will give me a key to his place. I am not terribly concerned about him seeing other people here it is more of back home if he really has a wife and kids......

jmaxjohn:


Lol....most Nigerians won't .
Uve said enough, i rili don't wanna start talking on d matter either

xpac01:

What's up bae, it's too early get roughned ok? I don't even see how this trend got to be any of your minute business.
Moreover, did you by anyway peek into my thought to know what am about to advise the sis
PS: only a ma.d person calls a sane person foo.lish.
Have a pleasant day :[

Creamish:
Only time will reveal his true intentions. For now, take it slow.

I'm curious.. what was his explanation with respect to his "wife and kids"?

Hunnydropps:
@GodFrearing...be careful, girl.



Ya know, tho .....I was thinking the same thing.

Personally, seeing FB posts about a 'wife' is a BIG red flag. I don't think people would post something about a wife if one didn't currently or at least "previously" exist.
Seeing that I don't even know if I'd take it slow. I'd prob turn and not gamble on that one.
But I too am curious to know his explanation. Is he divorced, widower, a 'baby daddy'...

GodFrearing:
I am a Canadian who just recently got into a relationship with an Nigerian man. We met on a dating website. He lives only 3 hours from me right now.

I was wondering if how he is acting is typical and he cares or he is planning on using me because he thinks I am desperate? He says he really really really really likes me....he has told me already that he wants to take me to Nigeria to meet his family and wants to go places with his friends.

I have a very complicated home life right now which he isn't too thrilled about but understands. I have a special needs child who's father still stays and helps out with him a few days a week.

But the first day we saw each other we went for coffee and during his talking he said 'his sister is a doctor who is planning on coming to Canada next year and if we are still together you can meet her'. He wanted to see more of me, so we met up for a movie that same night. When we were leaving the theatre we ran into a group of his Nigerian friends and they talked for a few seconds as we were walking out and he put his arm around me and sped up almost to get away from them. He wanted to see me again before I left home, so we went for lunch the next day. Then I had to do some shopping. So we went out shopping together to get my stuff. Throughout our 2 days spent together at coffee he paid even took the cups back to the counter when we were done, helped put in my shoe I was trying on when I was having trouble, wouldn't let me lift the heavy things into or out of the cart, paid for our outings without me asking or saying anything. He said he was raised to treat women right and take care of them. He held my hand and hugged me often. He has been nothing but sweet. He is in Canada on a student visa though, and starts his program in a few months. I told him he had better not use me to get citizenship and he told me how he was planning on applying when he was finished school. He seems to come from a well off family, his dad is a dr his mom is a principle. I told him I don't want sex for awhile because I have been used before. And he said he was fine with that but kept talking about and mentioning sex, but now after I got mad at him about some stuff on facebook he said he did think of sex with me next time I was down but now no sex until I am ready.

But he just added me to facebook and I saw some pictures which bothered me. They were comments saying he has a beautiful wife and his daughter and his twins. There were no pictures of him with his wife and kids together just a picture of one or the other seperately. so I got mad and confronted him. He was calm about it and explained everything....and he deleted the pictures. But not sure if he is just saying that or if he really does have a wife and kids back home. When we were talking when we were out shopping we passed a couple that had twins, and he was like aww look twins and really seemed to like the kids we came upon.

Please some advice or suggestions or ideas. He is the first Nigerian I have dated and I understand culture and ways of life are different. Just wanting some insight if this is 'normal' or I should be concerned.

Thank you!!
God Bless!!

GodFrearing:


He said he was never married and never had kids.... he said the picture he posted was of his girlfriend and saying he misses her and then people were saying he has a beautiful wife and he says thank you. He never said he has a wife on facebook. He just posted he missed her. And that it was just his girlfriend.

jmaxjohn:
Then the twins!
Did he say they were his girlfriend's cousins?

GodFrearing:


He said he was never married and never had kids.... he said the picture he posted was of his girlfriend and saying he misses her and then people were saying he has a beautiful wife and he says thank you. He never said he has a wife on facebook. He just posted he missed her. And that it was just his girlfriend.

Hunnydropps:


Oh, I see. This is a tricky one bc it's common to be referred to as wife by others even if your just a girlfriend.

You will need to compare his words to his actions. Watch for unnecessary pressures from his side. Do background research like you would dating another man. Trust your instincts. Don't take anything you see or hear at face value if it seems fishy to you in one way or the other. Most of all...pray for discernment for all matters in your relationship.

I wish you the best. Happy New Year

jmaxjohn:
Ur comments can make a lion toothless Mawnin

Michellla:
When relationships start
fast and intense, beware. It is important to get to know the person as much as possible before
you allow your emotions to take control.
Once you are emotionally involved, it is easy to
overlook telltale signs. For example that picture you saw that he dismissed.
is he only coming to visit or calling you at
certain times? Does it appear that he has excuses to account for blocks of time that he is
“missing in action”? Does he bring you around
his family or friends? Do you know anyone else
that knows him? Do you know where he works
or what he actually does for a living? Is he
always coming to your house versus you going to his? While these questions may sound as if
you are playing detective, it is best to play
“Columbo” on the front end rather than be the
victim on the back end.
these are some questions you should integrate into your conversations and observe his behavior.
dont just fall head over heels.

xpac01:

What's up bae, it's too early get roughned ok? I don't even see how this trend got to be any of your minute business.
Moreover, did you by anyway peek into my thought to know what am about to advise the sis
PS: only a ma.d person calls a sane person foo.lish.
Have a pleasant day :[

misspicy:

lmao,did I touch a rough spot?

now tell the world why you are so kin on knowing is native name

story said Nigerian man,you are after his native name before you can advice..
seen any connection? we all ain't fools on here

now move along,AF seen and dealt with multitudes of your kinds,not new

xpac01:

Aint got ya time, its first day at work.

Good luck in your dealing with multitudes wish you more this year.

Gracias de mien!

GodFrearing:


Thank you!! I greatly appreciate your advice!!

jmaxjohn:
Don't say trust ur instincts. She's not Nigerian and needs insight into the Nigerian mind, dats why she's here

jmaxjohn:
Oh pls don't start It's too early

misspicy:

lol

just run along with your tail between inbetween your leg legs,we got zero tolerance with tribal bigots on here
have a fruitful day if you wish

GodFrearing:
I am a Canadian who just recently got into a relationship with an Nigerian man. We met on a dating website. He lives only 3 hours from me right now.

I was wondering if how he is acting is typical and he cares or he is planning on using me because he thinks I am desperate? He says he really really really really likes me....he has told me already that he wants to take me to Nigeria to meet his family and wants to go places with his friends.

I have a very complicated home life right now which he isn't too thrilled about but understands. I have a special needs child who's father still stays and helps out with him a few days a week.

But the first day we saw each other we went for coffee and during his talking he said 'his sister is a doctor who is planning on coming to Canada next year and if we are still together you can meet her'. He wanted to see more of me, so we met up for a movie that same night. When we were leaving the theatre we ran into a group of his Nigerian friends and they talked for a few seconds as we were walking out and he put his arm around me and sped up almost to get away from them. He wanted to see me again before I left home, so we went for lunch the next day. Then I had to do some shopping. So we went out shopping together to get my stuff. Throughout our 2 days spent together at coffee he paid even took the cups back to the counter when we were done, helped put in my shoe I was trying on when I was having trouble, wouldn't let me lift the heavy things into or out of the cart, paid for our outings without me asking or saying anything. He said he was raised to treat women right and take care of them. He held my hand and hugged me often. He has been nothing but sweet. He is in Canada on a student visa though, and starts his program in a few months. I told him he had better not use me to get citizenship and he told me how he was planning on applying when he was finished school. He seems to come from a well off family, his dad is a dr his mom is a principle. I told him I don't want sex for awhile because I have been used before. And he said he was fine with that but kept talking about and mentioning sex, but now after I got mad at him about some stuff on facebook he said he did think of sex with me next time I was down but now no sex until I am ready.

But he just added me to facebook and I saw some pictures which bothered me. They were comments saying he has a beautiful wife and his daughter and his twins. There were no pictures of him with his wife and kids together just a picture of one or the other seperately. so I got mad and confronted him. He was calm about it and explained everything....and he deleted the pictures. But not sure if he is just saying that or if he really does have a wife and kids back home. When we were talking when we were out shopping we passed a couple that had twins, and he was like aww look twins and really seemed to like the kids we came upon.

Please some advice or suggestions or ideas. He is the first Nigerian I have dated and I understand culture and ways of life are different. Just wanting some insight if this is 'normal' or I should be concerned.

Thank you!!
God Bless!!

misspicy:

I don't want to be a mood spoiler or type long words

in fact I don't want to dissect and analyse the story its so obvious he is playing her

so amma just advice her to move on if she will listen and not remain blinded by fake love and fake care

you know say this oyinbo girls dey mumu wella

Lordprez:

@bolded

haba that's uncalled for