remember what a neighbor`s kid did to me 30 yrs ago. went to fetch water from a nearby street. i was toasting a girl then and went together. when we got to a dark corner, i touched her blouse where it bulges. when we got home, this 3 yr old boy, told my uncle his experience for the day and said, uncle touched one girl in her chest. i almost died of shame.

Mr Kelly:

My neighbour's son was spanked by his mum for failing to heed her advice. Looking at his mum, he snared, "I will tell my Honey".

He calls his dad "honey".

This is perhaps because he hears his mum address him as "honey".

@ Poster, thanks for bringing this up.

This one happened When my youngest brotha was 3yrs. One of our cousins which was about the same age then came to spend the weekend with us. One day, they wanted to have breakfast(Plantain and egg) they were both given a fork each, then our lil cousin requested for knife. The response that came from my brother was "DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF?". Surprisingly, i asked why he said such thing, and he replied "THEY USE KNIFE TO KILL THEMSELVES IN MOVIES"

My friends 4yr old son was showing off to his dad his mum's unused sanitary pad.

"Daddy, daddy, come and see my Mummy's PAMPERS!" It's small, Seun's own is big than mummy own!!! (Seun is his little sister).

i remember when i was small , my half sister came to join the family for the very first time and i was like 6years old, she was very hard working plus she liked me so much and was always doing all the chores in the house plus take care of me, so when her mother came calling i said to her right in front of my parents  ' thank you ma for bringing us a very hardworking housemaid '. omo you need see brushing that day

lourash:

i remember when i was small , my half sister came to join the family for the very first time and i was like 6years old, she was very hard working plus she liked me so much and was always doing all the chores in the house plus take care of me, so when her mother came calling i said to her right in front of my parents  ' thank you ma for bringing us a very hardworking housemaid '. omo you need see brushing that day

LOL

Thinking?

I'v gt so many experiences,
There ws a day I ws speakin to my gf in the nite my younger bro abt 5yrs old followed me to the balcony and ws pretendin nt to listen,,,the nxt day wit the whole family present on the dining table he said 'stephen I heard u tellin ur gf last nite tht u'l soon marry her', lol
I denied he said STOP LYIN ITS NT GUD', lol

I used to tk him out wit me whn goin to see girls then i'll ask him which one is fine,,, he'll whisper in my ear the fair one's bum bum is too big the othr one is beta',

A very funny one is when my JAMB result ws witheld and we were talkin abt it he said let them release the 'JAM' so we can use it to eat our bread, ,,,,,

xpensiv:

A very funny one is when my JAMB result ws witheld and we were talkin abt it he said let them release the 'JAM' so we can use it to eat our bread, ,,,,,

xpensiv:

I'v gt so many experiences,
There ws a day I ws speakin to my gf in the nite my younger bro abt 5yrs old followed me to the balcony and ws pretendin nt to listen,,,the nxt day wit the whole family present on the dining table he said 'stephen I heard u tellin your gf last nite tht u'l soon marry her', lol
I denied he said STOP LYIN ITS NT GUD', lol

I used to tk him out wit me whn goin to see girls then i'll ask him which one is fine,,, he'll whisper in my ear the fair one's bum bum is too big the othr one is beta',

A very funny one is when my JAMB result ws witheld and we were talkin abt it he said let them release the 'JAM' so we can use it to eat our bread, ,,,,,

Your lil brother is going to be a comedian in the future

Everyday I get back from work, my 5 year- old son and 3 year-old daughter would always welcome me with ' Mummy welcome, how waz ur week? how was ur day? and how waz ur ENGLISH? what did u buy for me?'


My husband was running late for his exams on saturday and had to storm out of the house, while my kids ran after him and said 'Daddy, buy us ice cream, I had to hush them down, told them to tell him 'All the best' and they shouted ' Daddy buy us ALL THE BEST.

My sister was confiding in her husband in the presence of her lil daughter about her car which she said that her mechanic had destroyed. Few days later when the Mechanic( Uncle Victor) came around, her daughter said to him ' Uncle Victor, You have destroyed my mummy's car, when I grow up You will never repair my car for me'.

zaliya:

Everyday I get back from work, my 5 year- old son and 3 year-old daughter would always welcome me with ' Mummy welcome, how waz your week? how was your day? and how waz your ENGLISH? what did u buy for me?'


My husband was running late for his exams on saturday and had to storm out of the house, while my kids ran after him and said 'Daddy, buy us ice cream, I had to hush them down, told them to tell him 'All the best' and they shouted ' Daddy buy us [b]ALL THE BEST.[/b]

hahaha i don laff tire

zaliya:

My sister was confiding in her husband in the presence of her lil daughter about her car which she said that her mechanic had destroyed. Few days later when the Mechanic( Uncle Victor) came around, her daughter said to him ' Uncle Victor, You have destroyed my mummy's car, when I grow up You will never repair my car for me'.

LOL

Was driving home from church recently, my 5yr old son, sitting at the back by the window saw a plane in the sky, after observing it for a while, he said "daddy, see! the plane is reversing"

they see and say it as they see it, no reservations, we all crank up our ribs, little angels ;d :d ;d

hahahahahahahahahahahah

my son is at that stage where no item in the house is safe from him . he pushes all the buttons on the remote and tv. the other day, i was at my pc, and he came to drag me to the tv. he had accidentally changed the channel from those AVin for games and dvd players. i wonder how he figured that only daddy would be able to resolve the problem

well, this happens with my neighbor's son, i was still pregnant then and he came to our flat and knocked the door, when i stood up and found out it was him, i said:

Anabel: Bolu go and play i need to rest, you will disturb me with your noise
Bolu: If you dont let me in, the baby that will come from that big tommy of yours will be as stubborn as i am.

In fact after this i was dead scared, cos after explaining to his mum, she began to tell me other ones that got me shocked.

it all reminds me of Bill Cosby's show "kids say the darndest things"

My kid were going through my wedding pictures. They looked and searched through to see if they appeared (of course they weren't born then). With rage and sobs, they screamed ' Naughty Mummy, You left us at home and went to do wedding with daddy, you didn't take us along, we will not play with you again'.


Last Christmas, my five year old son went outside the house to watch his uncle Sam throw 'BANGER' (knock-outs). I shouted at him asking 'what is your uncle doing?' He screamed back at me from outside 'Uncle Sam is BANGING'.

zaliya:

My kid were going through my wedding pictures. They looked and searched through to see if they appeared (of course they weren't born then). With rage and sobs, they screamed ' Naughty Mummy, You left us at home and went to do wedding with daddy, you didn't take us along, we will not play with you again'.


Last Christmas, my five year old son went outside the house to watch his uncle Sam throw 'BANGER' (knock-outs). I shouted at him asking 'what is your uncle doing?' He screamed back at me from outside 'Uncle Sam is BANGING'.

Oh my God

Remember this nursery rhyme:

My father had a little dog, its name was bingo B-I-N-G-O,

My kids interpretation:

My father WAS a little dog, HIS name was Bingo B-I-N-G-O.

They scream and sing it with all innocence.

Many years bak, oneday my younger bro ws in the restroom & and ws makin so mch noise while tryn to let 'it' out he ws lik hmmm, hmmmmmm, hyyyyyy,,,,,lol then my mum shouted MOSES whts the problem he's like i'm 'CONSTIPATED',,,,lol wen he finally comes out my mum asks ' do u knw the meanin of constipated?' he says yes its wen you are in the toilet tryn to poo, and you are doin hmmmm, hmmmmmmmmm, hyyyyy, hmmmma, because 'it' doesnt wnt to come out,,,   lol

I and my nephew of almost six years was watching one home video, then in one of the scene, the actress ran into the toilet and vomited the first time, then she came out again, then ran back. My nephew said," Ehn, the next thing now is that she is pregnant, i was so surprised, i asked him how he knew. He said that everybody that is pregnant always runs to go and vomit.

I couldn't help laughing at what he said.

Hmmm! Kids and kreativity. I was doing community service back in the University, trying to teach a 5years old hausa-boy basic English Language. The topic was gender u know? Man.Woman, he.She and all that stuff. As such i had to demonstrate by the following examples
me. Abdul (the boy) abdul=he . Your Papa= he. me =he , Your mummy=she. your sister =she.
Okay now finish these,
Me. This woman
abdul. She
me. that boy he
blah blah blah.
Me. (pointing at a very little girl) that girl
abdul. (Really confused, after a moment with a broad smile ), PIKIN? yes uncle the girl na small pikin now haba,

this topic reminds me of what my younger sister said when we were very much younger.

one afternoon, while performing ablution, the inquisitive girl asked me wht i was doing i replied that "i was performing Ablution" a few seconds after, my mum called out to me and my younger sister simply replied that "sista sheri is performing Abortion"

2. one day, we were on holidays at that period, so there was a full house. we were all in d girls's room gisting and catching up on events that happened in our different schools (we were boarders) and my aunt updating us on things that happened at home, meanwhile my aunt was preparing lunch, so she had a pot of water on the stove, of course the youngest was my younger sister, and she was asked to go and check if the water was boiling.

aunty mi: Ope, lo wo boya omi tin o (Ope go and check if the water is boling)
(ofcourse, Ope obediently got up and went to the kitchen only for her to stay for another 5 mins in the kitchen.)

my aunt called out to her,

aunti mi: Ope, she omi o ti o ni? (Ope is the water not boiling yet?)

Ope: (replies with her tiny voice) miimo, on ko she jamulujamulu( i dnt knw, but it is jamulujamulu{whatever dat means})

mohawkchic:

~"Mummy. . why do people grow beard under their armpits?" ~

buahahaha

reminds me of the day my five year old cousin, asked my aunt why her bottom had a cut and her brothers had none
she screamed so hard ,like something terrible had happened

Well the other day we were all in the sitting room and Bisi Olatilo Show was on the TV.this time around it was a wedding Event.My 3 yr old daughter was watching.The next day she suddenly turned to me and asked "Mum when am i doing my own wedding"I replied her that when she grows old like an aunty.She said Mummy I want to do my own wedding now. do it for me now.

Whenever I beat her for doing something wrong.She will say.Mummy are you a teacher?
If I shout at her.She will say.Mummy talk small small it is not good to shout.
And when she wants to eat.She will say Jesus wash your hand and come and eat.Satan stay away.How funny

My 3 yr old daughter was standing at the balcony and suddenly our neighbor was just coming in from a journey.The next thing my daughter did was to run towards him,jumped at him and said "It is a lie"