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Funny Things That Children Say - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Nobody: 4:53am On Jan 21, 2010
I guess so!
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Livvvvy(f): 2:02pm On Jan 21, 2010
Very funny thread.

I just got back from school to visit home for the holiday when I heard my little sis who was 4 yrs then call my younger brother "Aunty Philip". It got me laughing. When I corrected her she refused and said Sister, you are plaiting your hair and aunty edward is also plaiting her hair. (My younger brother do plait his hair then.)
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Livvvvy(f): 2:06pm On Jan 21, 2010
Very funny thread.

I just got back from school to visit home for the holiday when I heard my little sis who was 4 yrs then call my younger brother "Aunty Philip". It got me laughing. When I corrected her she refused and said Sister, you are plaiting your hair and aunty philip is also plaiting her hair. (My younger brother do plait his hair then.)
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by atutupoyo(f): 6:27pm On Jan 21, 2010
Just saw this thread and almost died from laughter.
A friend's 2 yr old daughter likes playing with people's bust and stomach, one day while playing with mine I told her to leave mine and play with hers, she replied, Aunty Uike my bosom has lost, I almost died from laughter.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Fhemmmy: 6:28pm On Jan 21, 2010
Livvvvy:

Very funny thread.

I just got back from school to visit home for the holiday when I heard my little sis who was 4 yrs then call my younger brother "Aunty Philip". It got me laughing. When I corrected her she refused and said Sister, you are plaiting your hair and aunty philip is also plaiting her hair. (My younger brother do plait his hair then.)


She is good
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by ccaramel(f): 7:38am On Jan 23, 2010
This thread has gotten me in stifles! Kids really do say the darndest things eh,
Don't have kids but here are some funny things kids have said.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

~~~~~

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"

~~~~~

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

~~~~~

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."


~~~~~

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"


~~~~~

The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"

~~~~~

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"

~~~~~

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.

~~~~~

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?"
Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
"Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And John answered, "Mom."

LOL!
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by v24m(f): 1:04pm On Jan 28, 2010
I remember this one my mum told about one of her teachers son he was just a little over a year and anytime you ask this little boy, o' boy how things, he answers in his tiny voice , we thank God.

Also this same boy when he was 2yrs+, his grandma who had just finished eating fufu without drinking water rushed to help him with his assignment after a while the little boy couldn't take it any longer he shouted, ah ah grandma take it easy, take it easy now cant you see that you are blowing all the FUFU BREEZE in my face. grin grin grin grin.

Till today, i cant stop laffing anytime i remember that kid.

1 Like

Re: Funny Things That Children Say by mohawkchic(f): 4:04am On Feb 02, 2010
~ Oh Lawdy! I cant stop laffing!! "FuFu Breeze"

1 Like

Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Olisa4all(m): 11:03pm On Feb 06, 2010
LMAO,"MacDonalds,may i take ur order?"


"is dat wen mummy came2work4us?" LMAO
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by elowa: 1:00pm On Feb 07, 2010
mine was embarassin. my nephew came over durin the hols, and was saunterin about as usual in the house, when wind blew him to my room where i was lying on the bed with my girlfriend gisting ( fully clothed). Gues because we didnt pay him any attention, or he believed something else, cos he just went out towards the sitting room shouting "grandma, grandma, uncle ____ and aunty ___ are doing daddy and mummy. i was so shocked i had to run after him to smack his bum grin
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by yinx007(f): 3:27pm On Feb 07, 2010
I remembered a particular conversation that occured btw my eldest brother, myself and the last born he was about 5yrs old then the conversation goes thus:
Myself : Bro Tokunbo now that u're studying psychology in the university if you want to go for your second degree what course would that be?

Tokunbo: I would still study psychology but this time around i would specialize in criminology.

The 5yr Old : Bro Tokunbo that means if you study criminology u would become a criminal, I and my elder brother couldn't help laughing cuz it was so funny. shocked grin
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by DeepSoul(f): 11:20pm On Feb 07, 2010
Fufu Breeze shocked grin LWKMD

"Aunty Begs Too Much" takes the cake!

It's been amazing going thru this thread, my evening has been made!

Fufu Breeze, lol!
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by TedBundy1(m): 11:33pm On Feb 07, 2010
I was in the car with my sister, her friend (whom I'd really love to f**k even though she's married) and her son (i.e. my sister's friend's son)
We passed a Police Station:
Son: (pointing out of the window) See! That's where they took my Dad the other time.
His Mum: Shut up! They didn't take your Dad there!
Son: They did! They did!!

Hahaha - looks like the boy's Dad has been up to no good.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by throttler(f): 11:35am On Feb 08, 2010
FUFU BREEZE!
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin the best post ever.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by maximized(m): 1:45am On Feb 09, 2010
We had a house warming party last Xmas, during the feasting phase, my Mum asked my 4 years old nephew that came back from the States with her Dad (my elder brother) to pray for us before the meal and she was like:

Dear God, thank you for this food and please send clothes to all those poor girls in Daddy’s computer. Amen!

We couldn’t stop laughing for days and my bro was so embarrassed.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by v24m(f): 4:55pm On Feb 10, 2010
My little 6 yr old nephew went to meet his mum the other day with so much fury saying that he wanted to divorce 'onyeka' thts the chic tht lived down his street that he was no longer interested in marrying her anymore,  My aunty was shocked at the words that he used and was asking him what he knew about divorce and that finally what did onyeka do to him that he wanted to leave her. This silly boy looked at his mum in the eye and told her that when he married 'onyeka that he didnt know that she had a bow leg' tht now that he knows he cant marry her again. Can u Imagine.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by blakdove: 4:49pm On Feb 11, 2010
my friend prepared meat for a visiting friend.wen the 2 kids asked for a piece each,she promised them that if aunty eats and remains then they can have it-that was the mistake she made. These kids went and sat at one corner of the sitting room watching aunty eat. The moment she poped the last piece into her mouth,they shouted with tears "mummy she has finished it".
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by mirabell: 4:21pm On May 26, 2010
My younger sister wore a  short NIKA at home one day which made her waist & bum all set, my 2+ nephew  suddenly ran up to her and ask "Aunty did u buy your Bum Bum? buy for me too" come and see laugh grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Fhemmmy: 7:47pm On May 26, 2010
I poo
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by blank(f): 11:13pm On May 31, 2010
I went with my little cousin, she was about 5yrs, to the salon.
She is the last child and has like 4 elder ones.
The hair stylist had a little baby about 15months old.
My coz started playing with the baby.

When we were done with our hair, My coz turned to me, "Please can we take baby home?"
I was like, "Babies r a big responsibility and the baby is not yours so u cant take baby home".
She started crying and went and looked for the babies shoes, wore the baby the shoes and insisted that she must take baby home.
It turned to serious fight, she refused to leave the baby alone.
I had to lie to her that we have to go home and clear a room for the baby.
See the way she ran into d car, "Driver drive fast before baby will run away".

I deposited her with her mum and left the mum to decipher what she was saying and quietly went home. grin grin

1 Like

Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Phate07(m): 6:35am On Jun 01, 2010
Nice n funny stories.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by mohawkchic(f): 2:45am On Jun 09, 2010
~Damien Marley & Nas song was on the music channel. . . i asked me son "Do you know who Damien's dad was?

~"Erh. . head cocked to the side" No Mummy"

"His name was Bob Marley ". . "Oh! I like Bob Marley". . here's me thinking "Oh Really?. . . . What Bob Marley Song do you like?"

. . . . . . . .He got up ready to sing. . for a fraction of a sec i thought "Hmm!! I'd be sorry for doubting him!!". . then he broke my train of thought with #Red Red Wine#

~Bless him! I had a good
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by chika98: 6:22am On Jun 09, 2010
lol@ red red wine. Of course he knew grin
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by stephnina0(f): 7:37pm On Jun 13, 2010
very funny thread indeed

this happened when my baby brother was 4yrs old, i took him along with me to visit a friend, when we got to my friends house she asked my brother if he wanted juice and biscuit the boy looked up at her and said

"if my sister wants me to want, then i want but if she doesn't want me to want then i don't want"

it was so funny i had to allow him want. smiley

1 Like

Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Princessty(f): 5:12pm On Jul 13, 2010
D Ojuju One Is Funny

Jejush IS Cute Yet Funny At D Sametime

blak dove:

my friend prepared meat for a visiting friend.wen the 2 kids asked for a piece each,she promised them that if aunty eats and remains then they can have it-that was the mistake she made. These kids went and sat at one corner of the sitting room watching aunty eat. The moment she poped the last piece into her mouth,they shouted with tears "mummy she has finished it".


Did she really finish it

v24m:

I remember this one my mum told about one of her teachers son he was just a little over a year and anytime you ask this little boy, o' boy how things, he answers in his tiny voice , we thank God.

Also this same boy when he was 2yrs+, his grandma who had just finished eating fufu without drinking water rushed to help him with his assignment after a while the little boy couldn't take it any longer he shouted, ah ah grandma take it easy, take it easy now cant you see that you are blowing all the FUFU BREEZE in my face. grin grin grin grin.

Till today, i cant stop laffing anytime i remember that kid.
Fufu Breeze Lol I Am Laughing so much i am choking
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by lovelynk(f): 2:58am On Aug 23, 2010
My four year old niece onec asked me to buy something for her.I asked her waht she wanted she said a car.
i told her i will get it when i have money.Next she said aunty,wen u buy the car i will use it to jam people!!!
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by minniepoe(f): 3:39pm On Aug 23, 2010
here is what ensued btw my 5 year old son and myself

i was in the bathroom applying my makeup when my 5year old son walked in and asked
son: mum, why are you polishing your face
me: what do u mean by me polishing my face
son: mum cant u see u re polishing ur face, thats exactly what daddy uses to polish our sch shoes,
me: this is not polish but foudnation powder,
son: but mum this is nothing but polish


another senario: i was cleaning up his younger sister's butt when he walked in to the room and screamed alound
and i asked him why did u ve to scream then he said dadey does not have a private so how does she do her pee and before i cld give an answer hr said oh now i see she pees through her anus, then he further went on by saying mum, u vent done a good cleaning to her butt, and i asked what do u mean i am done, then he said but she is sore all over cant u do something to make the sore heal up,
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by mutter(f): 6:11pm On Aug 23, 2010
I was bosom feeding my baby and my friends daughter sat watching unknown to me the milk was dripping out from the other side.
The 4 year old looked at me quite shocked. Aunty your bosom is melting.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by ayomifull(f): 7:37pm On Aug 25, 2010
While in US on holiday recently my boys (both aged 7) said to me ' mummy why didnt you come to America before you born us so that you can born us here?'
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by lao(f): 9:42pm On Aug 25, 2010
This happen to my cousin's child when he was still a child. I can't remember his age then. It was bathe time and you know the typical nigerian will strip the kid Unclad and leave him to play for a while before bathing him. Next thing we noticed was that the kid was crying and trying to shaking off his joystick. We were wondering what was wrong with him and next thing he told his mum in his babyish langauge that his thing was following him around. It was so funny. The mum explained to grandma that he is always clothed in UK and he did not know he had a joystick.
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by RocksQueen: 12:17pm On Apr 02, 2012
zaliya: Mummy they said we should bring our Pastorfonogram (Passport photograph)

LMAO hahahahahahaahahahaha!
Re: Funny Things That Children Say by Bolarge(m): 2:00am On Oct 19, 2012
grin grin grin

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