ayomifull:

My 5 yr old boy was reporting my friend's daughter

He: mummy Sade kissed Sean in school today

Me: Yeah its only a greeting you know like when i kiss you

He: No mummy is not the kiss that you want to be friends its the kiss that you want to be boyfriend and girlfried

that boys is learning fast.

Fhemmmy:

that boys is learning fast.

The thing scare me no be small

ayomifull:

The thing scare me no be small

A friend was told me at the office that her son came back home one day and has the following convo.

Son: Mom, how do u know u like a girl.
Mother: you will know how u feel.
Son: will ur dikc tickles if you like the girl?
Mom: Pick the fone and call your Dad, cos i dont have a dikc.

The woman is a single mother and i think she cld have explained better.

Fhemmmy:

A friend was told me at the office that her son came back home one day and has the following convo.

Son: Mom, how do u know u like a girl.
Mother: you will know how u feel.
Son: will your dikc tickles if you like the girl?
Mom: Pick the fone and call your Dad, cos i dont have a dikc.

The woman is a single mother and i think she cld have explained better.

Now that's horrible

My son: Mummy buy me nintendo

Me: I dont have money tell yr dad to buy it 4 u

My son: Mummy go and buy money now

My 2nd son: No, mummy go and collect money from that wall (atm) like daddy

ayomifull:

My son: Mummy buy me nintendo

Me: I dont have money tell yr dad to buy it 4 u

My son: Mummy go and buy money now

My 2nd son: No, mummy go and collect money from that wall (atm) like daddy

hahahahahaha.
that isa cute one.
i wish that is how easy it is to get money from the wall, i am sure the wall will not even exist anymore, cos i will even take the whole wall to my house.

Fhemmmy:

hahahahahaha.
that isa cute one.
i wish that is how easy it is to get money from the wall, i am sure the wall will not even exist anymore, cos i will even take the whole wall to my house.

lol

My friend's 5 yr old girl when her mum gave birth

Dad: K mummy has given birth to a baby boys

Girl: Oh good! the doctor cut her tummy with knife and bring baby for her?

Dad: No she had the baby

Girl: Yes but the baby was in her tummy so how did the baby come out then?

Dad didnt know how to explain to a 5 yr old

ayomifull:

lol

My friend's 5 yr old girl when her mum gave birth

Dad: K mummy has given birth to a baby boys

Girl: Oh good! the doctor cut her tummy with knife and bring baby for her?

Dad: No she had the baby

Girl: Yes but the baby was in her tummy so how did the baby come out then?

Dad didnt know how to explain to a 5 yr old

We men dont know how to explain much

I have been trying to teach her the value of money and how you can't have everything you want. So sometimes in the store, when she wants a toy I say, "Elizabeth, you can't have that because it costs two (or three) moneys, and mummy only has one".

Well, one day we go to the mall and I enter this really expensive store. After looking at two price tags, I decide that I have no business being in there and start to hustle Elizabeth out the door. At this point, she turns around and says to me, in a very loud voice so everyone in the store can hear, "Mummy, are we leaving because you don't have enough money to buy the things?" Embarassing!!!

haaaaaaaaaaaaa.

shut up daddy

o fo eti e.

My dad came back home one day very tied trying 2 get rest without any disturb he says to u the children

"Anybody ask of me, am not home" while wallking into his room 2 rest.
Some minutes later a friend of my dad came checking, approaching the least child he says
"Little boy how r u 2day, where is your dad"

Our last kid of 4years replies; "He is inside but said i should tell u he is not at home"

ha ha ha ha ha ha.

My sis went to visit her friend sometime ago and bought biscuits for her friends son. When she gave them to the little boy,she was a bit surprised at how greedily he tore at the wrappings and starting grubbing. so,she asked him, bobo,why're you eating like that? and he says
'i have to start eating them before aunty comes.she begs too much!'
he was talking bout his mum's sis!

WHAT A CLASSIC.

My sister’s husband was trying to compliment his little daughter who just had her hair done and he said to her ‘Nene you her is looking sweet’. His son who is just 3 asked in surprise ‘is it a Rice’? (as far as he was concerned, its only food that could be sweet)

What made his question so funny was the complete innocence and surprise he expressed. It was so hilarious!! After his dad gently explaind what he meant to him. He actually saw the humour in his question and turned it to a joke.

Immidiately my sister (his mother) came home, he rushed to her and said 'Mummy, Nene's hair is looking Rice'

Definitely the funniest one.

this thread makes me laugh 

my little cousin is three i can go on and on with the things she says daily.
here is one incident
She was watching cartoons one day and i was on the PC.

she was unusually very quiet, i now turned to check on her and saw her feeding the tv
my liver cut, i ran to the plug and switched it off.
i now told her baby, dont do that it may shock you and it kills.
she had this look on her face, then thought for a moment then said, but why cant i feed jerry when tom took his juice

mukina2:


this thread makes me laugh

my little cousin is three i can go on and on with the things she says daily.
here is one incident
She was watching cartoons one day and i was on the PC.

she was unusually very quiet, i now turned to check on her and saw her feeding the tv
my liver cut, i ran to the plug and switched it off.
i now told her baby, dont do that it may shock you and it kills.
she had this look on her face, then thought for a moment then said, but why cant i feed jerry when tom took his juice

cant stop laughing

My Uncle's Son talks a lot of things. He is 3 years. He said something nasty recently:


The boy: Daddy, do HEARTS have LEGS?
My Uncle: (A little confused) No, Why? Hearts stay inside our bodies, but legs are outside.
The boy: But last night, you told mummy "SweetHEART, open your LEGS"

ALL OF UNA CRAZE PEEPS ABEGII MAKE UNA NO KILL ME WITH LAFF JARE.. I DON FALL OUT BED 4 TIMES ALREADY READING UNA POSTS

, funny enough my kid has not started talking.

@skillworks , I want to believe that is a fabrication.

@topic
My 3 year old nephew came to holiday wt us a couple of months ago. He now entered grandma's room one night when there was no light and found grandma changing, at d point wia her cloth covered her face. he just screamed and ran bak to sitting room, claiming he saw ojuju. Grandma came out to tell her she was d one he saw, but to no avail. The boy refused to enter dat room in 4 days and insisting there was ojuju in grandma's room. All efforts by everyone to convince him proved    abortive. I even told him ojuju is just imaginary but he refused to listen to everyone

my daughter asked me this question sometimes ago

"Daddy, Does Jesus polute (fart) too?"

I almost laughed my head off.

she had this look on her face, then thought for a moment then said, but why cant i feed jerry when tom took his juice

HA HA HA HA HA HAHAA HA HA

Children could be very funny, My experience is this:

I was sitting with a friend when my little sister ran out of the house, so i over heard her saying to her immediate senior sister, I escapeded!  I escapeded!! she kept repeating it. On hearing it, i was kind of shocked because i thought she said I escape death. For a five year old to say that,

But she was happy and laughing, so i called her and asked  what happen. She now narrated everything that happened saying brother sesan (my younger brother who is kind of tough on them) wanted to beat her but she escapeded. I was then i laughed my ass off. It's still funny to me till this day. It must be the period when they were being taught the -ed(past tense in school)

chidren are fun being with!!! I love them

"O man"

Remember this from Readers Digest way back,
A Lady was heavy at home with only her three year old kid and her water broke. She was able to call the family doctor who made it in time enough  to deliver her safely. Just after the cord was cut and the baby washed, while the newborn was still crying, the 3 year old walked over to the kneeling doctor who was still toweling the baby. He looked concerned as to why the newborn was crying so hard so he asked.
The kind doctor tried explaining that the baby had just come out of mummy's tummy.
He took one quick glance at his mother who was still lying on the floor perspiring and exhausted and looked back again with a scowl at the loudly crying baby.
After being thoughtful for a while a frown formed on his brow.
Then he said ", is good for him, why did he crawl inside there in the first place !"

skillworks:

My Uncle's Son talks a lot of things. He is 3 years. He said something nasty recently:


The boy: Daddy, do HEARTS have LEGS?
My Uncle: (A little confused) No, Why? Hearts stay inside our bodies, but legs are outside.
The boy: But last night, you told mummy "SweetHEART, open your LEGS"

na wah

salihu_ali:

Then he said ", is good for him, why did he crawl inside there in the first place !"

una no go kill peson here oo.

i love bones,chicken,beef,fish
at home when my kids are done with their meat i just collect the remaining and enjoy my bones
so on this particular occasion we were eating out at this classy restaurant and i was minding my manners
these kids just passed on their plates to me and in very loud voices were shoutin
mummy chew my bones,chew my bones
see how people nearby were glancing curios looks at me

i love bones,chicken,beef,fish
at home when my kids are done with their meat i just collect the remaining and enjoy my bones
so on this particular occasion we were eating out at this classy restaurant and i was minding my manners
these kids just passed on their plates to me and in very loud voices were shoutin
mummy chew my bones,chew my bones
see how people nearby were glancing curios looks at me

And what did u do?


My son while looking at our wedding pictures started asking everyone why he was not in the pix. Can you imagine? how can you be in the wedding pix of your parents when you were not born out of wedlock. That's kids 4 u.

"Uncle, why is ur teeth big? Oh my God! What an embarrassment!

ayomifull:

My 5 yr old boy was reporting my friend's daughter

He: mummy Sade kissed Sean in school today

Me: Yeah its only a greeting you know like when i kiss you

He: No mummy is not the kiss that you want to be friends its the kiss that you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend

I cld not believe my ears.

:oSweet Pete! Did u say he was 5 or 15?

when ma lil cuz wants 2 sleep, he cumz close 2 any1 closest n literally comez as close as entering in2 yo body lol.
afta comin dat close, he finds his way through wateva u wearin 2 yo arm pit n starts suckin his mouth
wen u ask him:

U : wat r u doin?
Him: am puttin ur arm pit

dat used 2 crack me up man!

I recall an embarassing incident when an aunt visited with her 6 month old baby. My step brother was barely a year and not quite weaned on beast milk yet. Both women were busy breastfeeding the kids at one time when it was suddenly discovered that Alice was having trouble controlling Sammy (my step brother). The struggle went on in silence untill in a frustrated gesture, Alice sat the kid down on the couch with an unceremonious  thud.
Everyone was aghast at the treatment meted out to (the now wailing) Sammy. When asked why she took such drastic measures on a poor sweet and innocent child, she ignored all of us, It was then we noticed Sammy gesticulating with little fingers toward the apparently heavier & well rounded boobs of my aunt.

When the nickel dropped, some coughed in embarassment, while others did their best to control their laughter. Alice' busts were small but no-one expected a one year old to make such a comparison!

Yeah, kids are so funny

my 3yrs old angel also asked me if i could buy her a boy

that there is no boy in the house, it's just her and her sister

i almost fell of my seat and just told her to make her request known to daddy, maybe we can work something out