MizTyna:
Lol! This is one of the realest threads on nairaland. I'm not saying I have ABFs oh

You no get ABF kwanu? Those guys wey u don friendzone remember say dem get mothers too oo.

sorry op,I prefer dem all in one, three is a crowd

E get times wey be say u go buy carton of indomie keep for house. Out of 40 u no go chop reach 5. Some girls are always perpetually and eternally hungry.

lifestyle1:

You get your own babe ?

b4 nko?

Some few privilege girls get ABF foreign affairs/ international rolling dollars :p and I feel our Igbo 'importer, exporter' brothers suppose get their own special ABF titles

obiorathesubtle:
If she has an itchy vagina, she go get P.A to the girlfriend on 69, cowstyle, missionary, and doggy affairs..

See you

Dirty mind

freebreezeyz:
OP ur post is truly unique and accurate!! weldone!!! Some peeps while reading am sure would have already placed themselves where they belong!
You were really funny tho!@''Use all their energy gotten from free food to ride their main guys to heaven''! hehehehe!

Hmmmmmm

He has really nailed it on you

nubian999:
I'm missing number 1 and number 5 then I have a full house



And they're like the two most important men on there

so you got 9 covered?

Bekwarra:

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.

Hahahahaha.kpele, d truth b say anytin u do 4 a girl shld b counted as charity and dnt do pass ur power cos they av a certain mentality.

MizTyna:
Lol! This is one of the realest threads on nairaland. I'm not saying I have ABFs oh

shut up and repent
By the way I like your TT

Nice write up. Buh, i thing any guy who has graduated to the 'Kpanshing level' isnt an ABF anymore! What else does he/do we want?

chai na logistic be my specialty. especially wen the babe don declare say she don already get boy friend.

Bekwarra:

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.

Lolz.

E get one gf I get like that. We dey smooch and enjoy ourselves 2geda. She tell me say e get some guys wey dey toast am but she no gree.
When I offend her, there's one particular guy, Deji (not real name) she reports to. That guy will tell her I don't deserve her. After some time, I relocated. A year later she told me she was engaged. And guess who ? Deji of course

I will type my own Assistant Boyfriend story for you guys during lunch break at work.

Update: There was this babe who was a mutual friend to a girl I was shagging, all of a sudden she started calling me "bestie" and I played along. I purposely accepted the "Assistant Boyfriend" role with open arms I know she was dating a guy in a nearby state by I never asked her and she never told me a thing about it. Basically we just talked a lot about general stuff and laugh a lot and also went out to eat sometimes and the movies even in the company of other friends, I never made it seem like I wanted more from her though but I knew what I was targeting.

I just wanted her to become addicted to my company and all I could offer. I didn't offer finances though. She was staying with a friend and when she wanted to move to her place I became like her daddy or something because she would even call her intending landlord and tell him that her friend would negotiate with him and give the phone to me. The landlord was even asking is I was her father or brother That's how I negotiated well and we made a deal and she moved in.

You know the rest already After she moved in it became one hell of a jolly ride, I barely could stay in my house because all I would be hearing is... "Bestie pls I wanna see you now", "Bestie this house is so boring without you, my walls miss you", etc. The funniest thing is that her real guy was the one who was calling me later on, he said that he got my number from her, that she said I'm her bestie and he is contact me so I should help him fix their relationship issues, I was just grinning inside me, the dude was contacting the man who was the architect of his relationship problems for help

Few Tips on Assistant Boyfriendnism:
-When you notice a girl has a main guy and you wanna use the "Assistant Boyfriend" route to get to her NEVER ask her if she is dating someone or ask her to tell you about her guy. As a sharp dude, never ask any girl in general if she is single or not, just work your magic on her like a boss.

-Even if she brings up talk about her main guy, just act comical about it and change the line of discussion with sarcasm or intelligent jibes. Wave such talk off with making her feel that she is better than being worried over such. You gotta be smart and witty to pull this off excellently always though, experience makes it easy to do this on any girl as girls differ.

-Try and be fun in her eyes, always be unpredictable to her, always make her edgy. Women love guys who are a challenge to them. Whatever route of the "Assistant Boyfriend" options you wanna use to get what you want please try and make your impact seem like without your help in that area she can survive. Make her addicted to what ever you are offering.

-Lastly, don't be cold or platonic with her, along the line be more daring in how you hold or hug her, how you sound authoritative when acting with her, in other words try to have this unofficial couple attachment with her. Kissing a lady who such a bond exists already between you both is easier than with a lady which sees you as a platonic friendly dude whom she knows.

Every woman has a price, every woman! You just gotta know how to play your cards right and be good at what you do.

The best thing about getting a girl through the Assistant Boyfriend option is that when you get her, you became a real boss, you can easily walk away or mess with her head as there are no real defined boundaries and the affair is kind of unofficial, not like the official one which you wooed her from the start. So "Assistant Boyfriendnism" has lots of advantages if you pull it off well.

Bekwarra:
6. ABF Defence and Strategy
These ones are the defenders of the universe both online and offline. Whenever she posts a picture or write up on facebook or instagram. They are there to give her multiple likes and give her sweet comments. If anybody tries to give a negative comment on her, they go berserk launching missiles, grenades and nuclear weapons. On campus they are always there following her about as security guards. If the lady is the saucy type that can yab a dead man back to life, it is the ABF Defence and Strategy she runs to after finnaly getting her cup full and abusing those stronger than her father. You will hear her running and shouting at the same time "mrcork oooo I don abuse some mad guys o abeg come threaten them with your range rover"

7. ABF Logistics
He's the on in charge of logistics. He follows her to the bank to deposit or withdraw, she wants to collect a new atm card, he'll escort her, her line has been blocked and wants a retrieval, he's there with her. She wants a new apartment, he'll be the one to go and scout, find the agent and caretaker, get painters and electricians to fix the apartment. He's the one to help her copy assignment, he will go online, finish the assignment, type it, print it and spiral bind. He'll do 80% of her final project. Get the "engineer" to repair the faulty gen, go to dstv office to help her pay for subscription, take her gas cylinder out for refilling, help her get a carpenter to repair the kitchen cabinet, take her laptop for repairs. Baba is everywhere at every time.

8. ABF Miscellaneous
Baba is in charge of recharge cards, data subscription, subscription for dstv, lawma fees, money for fuel, buying of a new charger and earpiece after the old one got burnt, buying of new bulbs and wall sockets, refilling the gas cylinder, new cartons of noodles and provisions. Baba is not as financially buoyant as ABF Finance so he can't be burdened with the major expenses so the minor ones go to him because he's either a civil servant or his daily earnings come from baba Ijebu or bet9ja. Once her dstv sub expires, she picks up the phone and call "HungerBad dear please my dstv subscription just finished and I must watch Saloni and Married Again tonight, baby please help me out" or "Vizkiz! sweetie my gas has finished o and I was planning to cook for you this weekend o. How are we going to do it now? And the thing is just 3800"

9. ABF kpanshing
Baba has nothing to offer other than his long and rigid tool and also his strength and virility in bed. Baba gives her multiple orgazms due to the rough and hard way he handles her in bed. Baba blows her out and knocks her off every time they tango in bed. The match always looks like a Chelsea vs Atletico Madrid match. She always leaves for home satisfied. Although they might not be emotionally attached but she doesn't joke with baba as nobody does it better than him.

10. ABF General Secretariat.
Baba is the jack of all trades and master of all. He multi-tasks all the above roles together with to much expertise. The ultimate utility player whose versatility is second to none. He's the closest thing to the main guy and might end up becoming one.

Do you think this list is complete or I should have added or remove some? Kindly show your opinions in your comments.

Nice one Bro, but why u com omit ABF Transport?

That's how I met one girl..truly she told she has a boyfriend and I said no problem.can you imagine this girl asked me for money to pay her house rent and when I asked her about her boyfriend she told me her boyfriend is not her husband and that so I can't render help to a stranger.. Mean while this babe d deny me kitty cat saying is only the boyfriend that she can have sex with....I just called her and gave her #500 and text her that next time when she's in need that she should endeavor to ask her boyfriend and not me...she sent me back some message babbling whether I can't help a stranger...I told her but u are not a stranger na... Till now this babe never call...I don bone am sef.

Most of these babes have really nothing to bring to the table..

Am just priming my mind now on how to deal with emmm

nubian999:
I'm missing number 1 and number 5 then I have a full house



And they're like the two most important men on there

It's clap for yourself

Eco2580:

Nice one Bro, but why u com omit ABF Transport?

hian, na im be Logistics na....general transportation

may God save us from karashikas dem

me wey i enter bike go buy pure water nko.

Chai, I've been fooling myself since all dis while, believing dat I'm d main guy but in reality, I be ABF 7,8 and 9.







Anyway, Buhari must surely pay 4 dis!!!!!!

5,7 and 8 are the same

latbas:
me wey i enter bike go buy pure water nko.

God go judge thos gal sooooooooo. imaginin u take okada run go buy pure water for babe. If na ur mama send u u no go gree o!

lol, pls i wanna see a counter thread about AGF soon.

I have a friend whos in the repair and maintenance category, there's this gal he helps to all sort of stuff, from painting to repairing of doors, cementing holes, fixing mosquitoe nets nawa o

and when the girl comes to pass the night at his house, they both sing love songs all night, noting more. The guy go come out for morning they vex. Lol

Bekwarra:
6. ABF Defence and Strategy
These ones are the defenders of the universe both online and offline. Whenever she posts a picture or write up on facebook or instagram. They are there to give her multiple likes and give her sweet comments. If anybody tries to give a negative comment on her, they go berserk launching missiles, grenades and nuclear weapons. On campus they are always there following her about as security guards. If the lady is the saucy type that can yab a dead man back to life, it is the ABF Defence and Strategy she runs to after finnaly getting her cup full and abusing those stronger than her father. You will hear her running and shouting at the same time "mrcork oooo I don abuse some mad guys o abeg come threaten them with your range rover"

7. ABF Logistics
He's the on in charge of logistics. He follows her to the bank to deposit or withdraw, she wants to collect a new atm card, he'll escort her, her line has been blocked and wants a retrieval, he's there with her. She wants a new apartment, he'll be the one to go and scout, find the agent and caretaker, get painters and electricians to fix the apartment. He's the one to help her copy assignment, he will go online, finish the assignment, type it, print it and spiral bind. He'll do 80% of her final project. Get the "engineer" to repair the faulty gen, go to dstv office to help her pay for subscription, take her gas cylinder out for refilling, help her get a carpenter to repair the kitchen cabinet, take her laptop for repairs. Baba is everywhere at every time.

8. ABF Miscellaneous
Baba is in charge of recharge cards, data subscription, subscription for dstv, lawma fees, money for fuel, buying of a new charger and earpiece after the old one got burnt, buying of new bulbs and wall sockets, refilling the gas cylinder, new cartons of noodles and provisions. Baba is not as financially buoyant as ABF Finance so he can't be burdened with the major expenses so the minor ones go to him because he's either a civil servant or his daily earnings come from baba Ijebu or bet9ja. Once her dstv sub expires, she picks up the phone and call "HungerBad dear please my dstv subscription just finished and I must watch Saloni and Married Again tonight, baby please help me out" or "Vizkiz! sweetie my gas has finished o and I was planning to cook for you this weekend o. How are we going to do it now? And the thing is just 3800"

9. ABF kpanshing
Baba has nothing to offer other than his long and rigid tool and also his strength and virility in bed. Baba gives her multiple orgazms due to the rough and hard way he handles her in bed. Baba blows her out and knocks her off every time they tango in bed. The match always looks like a Chelsea vs Atletico Madrid match. She always leaves for home satisfied. Although they might not be emotionally attached but she doesn't joke with baba as nobody does it better than him.

10. ABF General Secretariat.
Baba is the jack of all trades and master of all. He multi-tasks all the above roles together with to much expertise. The ultimate utility player whose versatility is second to none. He's the closest thing to the main guy and might end up becoming one.

Do you think this list is complete or I should have added or remove some? Kindly show your opinions in your comments.

Guys don really suffferrrrr. If you want a girl, be plain about it and ask her out.If she agrees ok.If she doesnt ,ok too. Atleast you know where u stand. Any favor u are giving out should be frm ur hrt and shld be what you can afford.
No go troway ur pepper wit hope hope say one day she go agree o. You will only succeed in being categorized into one of those cadres.

Come to think of it, you cld have ur steady girl frnd n still fall under other categories with other babes (just make sure u are doing it from a pure hrt for a female frnd without strings or ulterior motive).That way you wont feel used cos u consciously chose to do it.

Guys learn to be bold and say ur mind to any lady u desire.dnt just think they understand n wld bend to ur moves. Na after dem chop ur salary n house rent ur eyes go clearrrr.

No #2 all the way

My own case sometimes i think i am supernaturally stupid or worse
I remember writing exams of 6 courses out of 9 for one girl during my university days ..Cynthia was her name, all i got was a peck and small smooching for the calculation courses

Aby na when i go write statistics exam for another babe and was caught: i was almost rusticated i had to flee through the bush..that one didnt even bother to talk to me again

University was hell for me, Kongy holo me so tey i started walking like Robo-cop, na one villager pity my ministry just give me one hand

Even now wey i don get job na so so bill dem dey match me ' please give me 5k to buy medicine ..i come dey wonder which medicine na 5k na HIV drugs?...one dey match me bill according to weather forecast 10k during dry season, 5k during raining season now wey harmattan don dey come i wonder wetin she go match me

But i don give up on babes cus no be my luck, make i focus on my carrier if i see marry thank God if i no see kwanu i no go kill myself

Bekwarra:

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.

lol.... Dat girl wickedness no be 4 here.
Na only God go save us.

luorquay:


ABF General Secretariat.......errrrm I guess you fall into that category from your comment!!!

which am sure your are our GCFR; rubbish talk from rotten brain

All men are ABFs . Even the main guy is an 'ABF' to another side chick in one capacity or the other. If you are a man reading this, there is 90% chances that you are a.....?? ABF

I was once ABF finance to one calabar girl wetin dis girl take my eyes see eh,na only God knw so tey i get admission but i no fit enter school
But dis my current girl na me be MBF and i'm proud about it