waywardpikin:
The fact of the matter is OP thinks she's too good for her boyfriend. If you loved him you would have screamed YES without even thinking twice, irrespective of age. You think a young guy who doesn't really love you would propose? Na FineGeh syndrome dey worry you, smallie...

Go ye into the world and distribute your tohtoh. I know that's what's itching you last last.

After she don fvck the community finish and pussi come wide like river Niger she go come go dump am for one innocent man, that's why some marriages don't last now.

@Op thank you for telling him no because you don't deserve him, I hope he cut all His ties with you for disgracing him like that.

Trudiee:


i don't understand some girls too. let's face it. you're dating an awesome guy. he loves you and you love him. you're in a commited relationship. but then as time goes on, you meet new people, exciting, sophisticated people. some might even treat u better than your boyfriend does. but as a loyal girlfriend, you understand that love is not just about that. its about commitment.

so you stick to him. the fact that u chose to stick to him doesn't mean there aren't better guys. everyone has flaws. understand the point first bae

You are not making any sense madam.

truthsayer007:


Exactly, people usually compare everyone to themselves. She kept mentioning see the world lol. That might mean a lot of things (Like a lot of dirty immoral things). But let me just stop here.

After she don see the world finish at 30 she go start 30 days fasting and prayer, from her dp she don they slack already.

kelval:
Dear miss tolulope93 this will be my first sincere comment since i join this forum and its all because you said you are 21.. i bet you dont know all those married folks are just sometimes fed up with marriage.. you really dont want to, as time goes by, you'd be meeting new cool guys, handsome guys and then what would you do? you'd wish you never run into marriage or you'd cheat then? dont dare accept a ring even at age 25 dear... those celebrities you see are not gvn their hand out, it aint as if they are foolish, this is a lifetime stuff so you really need to take your time dear and please dont accept a cuff for now.. please explore first.. and by the way you said you are just 21 and already working? how you take do am? even me self for 23 i never see work do? lol.. just kidding

And one thing u refused to point out is that marriage is not a bed of roses.

Infact life is not a bed or roses.

U fall out of love with ur partner, once in a while, be it in relationships or while still dating, but while dating, once u fall out of love, u just break up, unlike in marriage where u have signed for better for worse, where u just can't chicken out like that because of ur vows, and try ur best to make things work.

Beautiful ones are not yet born, from now till she is 40yrs, she will keep seeing more handsome men, even if she is married to vin diesel, she will still come across to a man more handsome and we'll built morethan him, it takes a self will to caution urself and ur brain.

If she is a graduate and working @ 21, then she must have been well exposed to know what she wants.

It is not a must that she must accept to marry him, but saying that she is too young is not enough reason while still maintaining that she loves him so dearly.

Girls don't understand human anatomy n physiology very well, u attained puberty @ 11 and 21 which is 10yrs after, ur not still ready for marriage, but let me tell u @ 25 ur Breast that used to stand firm without bra is already obeying the law of gravity (sagging) probably u hv resorted to using designers brazier to jerk it up, Remember between puberty 11-35, u hv d highest concentration of oestrogen, oxytocin n progesterone, u re sexy n likely to gv birth to normal babies with no complications and b/w 50~55 menopause sets in.
Yes you want to test all joysticks testable b4 getting married, dat z d perceived living life u re talking of, n u felt marriage or proposal will be a barrier /cage to ur fantasies
go ahead n live u life but remember dat ur fine face n hips might hv changed @ d end of the fun years, n b4 u realise those guys that find u appealing @ 21 re no longer interested anymore, u might hv been replaced by new girls emerging from the society n u will be relegated to the background,
But why is it that among the educated/enlightened/exposed women, u re likely 2 see them in their late 20s n 30s not getting married or just single mother, dz baffles me, upon their knowledge n exposure?

shuggah:

one day u and miss tolulope will wish u took your cake when it came by, everyone doesn't have d same destiny, omotola married at age 18 and she is enjoying marriage and same as okonjo-iweala, both maximized their potentials. and to the advicer u re wicked sha.

my dear brother.. the boy proposing is just 24.. where were you at 24? what do you know about family at that age? hun? this is a matter of lifetime between these two kids.. they are both through with school probably they were enroll at early age and they are both living fine because they are probably from a well to do family if not. at 24 bro you are still on that road searching for 30k jobs here and there. make i no lie you, they still need 1 & half year more at the least.

fetrillion:

see d foolish advice oooo from d pit of hell
my dear,some ladies here Will like to pull u down n discourage you simply bcs dey don't have d opportunity u have...You av a responsible guy dat wants to build a future with you ...both of you are financially capable,d love is intact.. pls dear,just pray about it n if you av d conviction he's d one.. then u are gud to go ooo

The only reasonable part i see in this post is just the prayer part. have witnessed a 40yr old well to do man crying profusely in scoan (synagogue church off all nation) as he was narrating his marriage ordeal and when asked how old the wife in question was, she said 21 and the whole congregation couldn't help but laugh aloud. all he complained about was this 21 year old wife do not know a thing about her own responsibility and when prophet tb joshua asked this very gal she didnt know wat else to do as a wife. not to talk of 24 and 21 ooo.. miss tolulope95 please a home should be a home. think..

kelval:
my dear brother.. the boy proposing is just 24.. where were you at 24? what do you know about family at that age? hun? this is a matter of lifetime between these two kids.. they are both through with school probably they were enroll at early age and they are both living fine because they are probably from a well to do family if not. at 24 bro you are still on that road searching for 30k jobs here and there. make i no lie you, they still need 1 & half year more at the least.

got married at 23, nb: I was nt forced into it and I married a 21year old then..... eight years later and 2kids, I trained my kids with my first strength and u would think my son is my youngest sibling,let me be a bit personal, after two kids nw, we've gone for family planning and we have all d sex we want if thts ur problem,we have enough time to hang out.. as for me, I'd say beta early than never.. going into marriage when. u re tired of flexing is worse than going into marriage early.

herbie27:
You sound like a confuse fellow...(no offence).

You're a graduate @21 with a job.
Dated the guy for over a year before he proposed and you still think is too soon.

Wait until you're 30 and proposal isn't coming forth.

on point winsh

RadicallyBlunt:
OP COMPARE THESE 2 LIVES BELOW

YOUR LIFE AT PRESENT;

You're just 21

You're a graduate at 21

You have a well paid job

You have a man who definitely has a well paid job too and ready for marriage

You probably would be a grand mother by 45 and b4 retirement ur last child is married

THE LIFE OF ABOUT 80% NAIJA GIRLS AT PRESENT

They're 30

They've graduated and still searching for job. Infact planning to learn tailoring after years of post nysc unemployment as certificate isn't yielding any good income

They have dated minimum of 5 guys who promised marriage and failed but knack their kpekus katakata..many rods have paddled d canoe

Some saw serious guys who are ready for marriage but snurbed them with yanga just like you're doing now.

The present guy they luckily found is either a garri marketer or doing casual labour at a factory at age 35. But will package like banker or unilever snr staff

Some are even educated than their guys but still try to manage him since there's no other guy and can't afford to lose him

Now op judge by urself, which of these 2 lives would you choose now and in the next world?

nice analysis.



Truly you're radically blunt and mentally balanced

xtervaganza:
on point winsh

Thanks!, wi.zard.

Jangbajantis:

Yes, he wants to cage you so you can't enjoy your youth to the fullest. You still have a lot of years ahead of you, so why the rush?
Or you want to be a mother at this age while your mates are still wearing mini skirts, bikinis, clubbing till daybreak and fucking different men?

What a selfish guy!


Kindly tell him to give you more time, say till you're 30 to 35, before the marriage proposal.
You must enjoy yourself o!

Sarcasm.

Tolulope95:


Yes.. he is quite comfortable from a well to do family background.. I think he is only trying to cage me with the proposal or something

If you were asked you would say you're in a serious relationship whereas you really are not. Now that its time to prove how serious the relationship is, u couldn't prove it. Dats why boys who use and dump girls shd not be blamed always. Some of you actually deserve to be used and dumped bcus that's really what you want..you don't wanna marry.

So if u don't marry him now, definitely u won't marry d next man after him. You'll just be eating their money and fuccking them till you get satisfied and reach the age you think you're ready.

Well I pray that God will overgrant ur heart desire..you will meet at least a dozen of men, who would use you, dump you, use you, dump you, use you, dump you and widen ur kpekus. But out of love I pray for you not to contact STD that can cause delayed motherhood for you in future.

OP
Truth is, you are not mentally prepared for marriage. It has nothing to do with your age or the fact that you've got a good job and all that because life isn't a timetable . Your bf should have prepared you for it though by giving you hints, asking albeit jokingly what you'd feel if he asked you to marry him and all that before doing the whole proposal thingy.

As for those saying you need more time to explore life before getting married so you don't cheat, well they are entitled to their own opinion. But I know for sure that even if one were to be happily married with kids today and you were asked to choose a new life partner from a line up of thirty guys, before you count from the first guy to the 15th you'd see someone you could spend the rest of your life with and still be happy. So the exploring option seems lame to me.

Having said that, it might take the grace of God for your bf to swallow this and propose again to you. He might feel insecure for a long time to come even if you walked up to him and accepted his proposal right now. He'd always feel you accepted him as an afterthought or maybe you had someone else and it didn't work for you guys..so you're taking him as option B. You have a lotta work to do bae. If he accepts you back without holding this over your head, then I'd say he's a matured, ready for marriage and a keeper. Don't let all these NL gals snatch him from you to avoid stories that touch.

The call is yours to make. I wish you well.

PS: Virtue has failed me. If there are typos in my comment abeg just get the message. It's 2am and my brain is on recess.

Allwility:
OP
Truth is, you are not mentally prepared for marriage. It has nothing to do with your age or the fact that you've got a good job and all that because life isn't a timetable . Your bf should have prepared you for it though by giving you hints, asking albeit jokingly what you'd feel if he asked you to marry him and all that before doing the whole proposal thingy.

As for those saying you need more time to explore life before getting married so you don't cheat, well they are entitled to their own opinion. But I know for sure that even if one were to be happily married with kids today and you were asked to choose a new life partner from a line up of thirty guys, before you count from the first guy to the 15th you'd see someone you could spend the rest of your life with and still be happy. So the exploring option seems lame to me.

Having said that, it might take the grace of God for your bf to swallow this and propose again to you. He might feel insecure for a long time to come even if you walked up to him and accepted his proposal right now. He'd always feel you accepted him as an afterthought or maybe you had someone else and it didn't work for you guys..so you're taking him as option B. You have a lotta work to do bae. If he accepts you back without holding this over your head, then I'd say he's a matured, ready for marriage and a keeper. Don't let all these NL gals snatch him from you to avoid stories that touch.

The call is yours to make. I wish you well.

PS: Virtue has failed me. If there are typos in my comment abeg just get the message. It's 2am and my brain is on recess.

Lol.. Thanks for the advice dear

braine:
Keep doing shakara. You don graduate, get job at 21, you com dey wonder if youre not too young for marriage. Just continue.

See you in Shiloh 2030.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/2985248_shiloh_jpeg31badd46d6c26f83c691be9b9e1329ac

Allwility:
OP
Truth is, you are not mentally prepared for marriage. It has nothing to do with your age or the fact that you've got a good job and all that because life isn't a timetable . Your bf should have prepared you for it though by giving you hints, asking albeit jokingly what you'd feel if he asked you to marry him and all that before doing the whole proposal thingy.

As for those saying you need more time to explore life before getting married so you don't cheat, well they are entitled to their own opinion. But I know for sure that even if one were to be happily married with kids today and you were asked to choose a new life partner from a line up of thirty guys, before you count from the first guy to the 15th you'd see someone you could spend the rest of your life with and still be happy. So the exploring option seems lame to me.

Having said that, it might take the grace of God for your bf to swallow this and propose again to you. He might feel insecure for a long time to come even if you walked up to him and accepted his proposal right now. He'd always feel you accepted him as an afterthought or maybe you had someone else and it didn't work for you guys..so you're taking him as option B. You have a lotta work to do bae. If he accepts you back without holding this over your head, then I'd say he's a matured, ready for marriage and a keeper. Don't let all these NL gals snatch him from you to avoid stories that touch.

The call is yours to make. I wish you well.

PS: Virtue has failed me. If there are typos in my comment abeg just get the message. It's 2am and my brain is on recess.

Best advice so far

herbie27:
You sound like a confuse fellow...(no offence).

You're a graduate @21 with a job.
Dated the guy for over a year before he proposed and you still think is too soon.

Wait until you're 30 and proposal isn't coming forth.

spot on

Your road 2 Shiloh just strt.....

You have everything at your disposal to get married already but u shouldn't rush into it if u feel u are not really ready for it but if u truely love him and he does to, u shld have agreed, perhaps he only proposes and no wedding yet perhaps to keep him and make him be assured of ur love... You might have chased him away already, trust me, and he might be weighing his options too cos he could be thinking u have something secrete somewhere and he wouldn't hesitate to do so aswell..... That's why talks about marriage and child bearing are very necessary b4 relationships gets to the "propose stage" becos he can respect ur view and understand u better then than when he proposes and u said no,, there is nothing that hurts better, he had thought hard and long. About you b4 making that move...

Tolulope95:


Yes.. he is quite comfortable from a well to do family background.. I think he is only trying to cage me with the proposal or something

Cage you say? Dear are you sure about this guy? Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with him? Do you have doubts about him? Because you thinking he wants to cage you with a proposal is something to be concerned about.