taiiremide:


You're absolutely right about the depression, she's always bitter. I hate seeing her in depress mood, I'll advice her to be calm. I open cake shop for her in Osogbo, gave her 50k to buy somethings first that with time I'll give her enough money to stock the shop because we've spent a lot of money moving to oshogbo but she always complaining that people use to mock her because her shop is empty. With all the bills on my neck, I'll still have to think how am going to stock my wife shop, what do I do? I don't even have anyone to raise me 5k, I bear my burden alone, no support from anybody. She lack patient bro.

Please I will advice you to register with some Nairaland guys that do take all sort of drink like alomo,ogidi ganga and Agbara in other to act like a father not like a mechanics robot..this will help you in take critical step in ur life.ogogoro naa sure when man need action...i assumed you never married before but you stay with someone that ready to get a baby for you to balance ur promise bro move on..start looking for wife now abeg..

sisisioge:


Abi o...see wetin dey happen nau.

I dey even reason say na you be the wife ni

My brother, u are a man and u have to stand by every decision u have taken in life..your wife is one of those decision. u met her, u wooed her and you convinced her to marry u, all by yourself.

in every decision u are taking in life, ur family should be number one. my advice for u is to go and look for ur wife and children anywhere they might be. That is the only thing u have got as a man.

if your wife is with her mother, go there and ask for ur wife authoritatively "Iyawo Mida, Iyawo mi ati awon omo mi ni mo wa ko" tell her parent like that. if u paid for a dowery and did a proper wedding, they will allow I to see ur wife.

Call ur wife, sit her down, tell her how much u missed her and the kids. re-woo her again. Do everything in your capacity to take your wife and kids home.

Be a man and stop been emotional. They are the only family u got. Your mother will leave u one day..even her mother too.

People around u will only pity and mock u.

Good luck

Don't call her again ...and don't pick her calls...let her stay there don't worry as long as she stays there ...she il soon have quarrel with her family ...they are going to tell her the story of her life...and why she can't stay in her husband house...that day she go use her leg come house by her self ...just chill

sukkot:
exactly, and truth be told, and this is no disrespect to any woman reading this but almost all women are created to be LED. there are a miniscule amount who are created to LEAD but for the most part 99.99999 percent of women are created to be LED. now if you have someone who is created to be LED trying to make decisions for you ? it ends up in confusion. this why this week she wants to move to osogbo, and then 2 weeks later she does not like osogbo and wants to move back to lagos lol. this the type of confusion you will have in your life if you let a woman lead you. a man has to be strong and firm. and truth be told, secretly, even though they would not openly admit to it, most women love a strong firm man. they think its se-xy. it turns women on to have a strong man in their life. they love it. thats what all women secretly want, a strong firm and intelligent man.

That's it.! That's why we must be a boss in marriage, If a woman asks a man to do this and he do, ask him to do that and he do while the man is bending the right rule just to satisfy her then she will realize he's just a puppy and she will begin to ask strange and funny. Woman are emotional good to a very weak man. Ki Olorun maa' ba temije

Just when one is trying to gather strength and make the move to get into a relationship that could lead to marriage,you log on to NL and read terrible stories that makes you start developing cold feet over the same issue. Damn it!

arthurshelly:
Bro you are too cold....expect more from this ur wife

too cold or too cool? How do u mean cold?

kaboninc:


I dey even reason say na you be the wife ni

I been always guess say you get choco for head...na today I confirm am!

akeensbussy:
My brother, u are a man and u have to stand by every decision u have taken in life..your wife is one of those decision. u met her, u wooed her and you convinced her to marry u, all by yourself.

in every decision u are taking in life, ur family should be number one. my advice for u is to go and look for ur wife and children anywhere they might be. That is the only thing u have got as a man.

if your wife is with her mother, go there and ask for ur wife authoritatively "Iyawo Mida, Iyawo mi ati awon omo mi ni mo wa ko" tell her parent like that. if u paid for a dowery and did a proper wedding, they will allow I to see ur wife.

Call ur wife, sit her down, tell her how much u missed her and the kids. re-woo her again. Do everything in your capacity to take your wife and kids home.

Be a man and stop been emotional. They are the only family u got. Your mother will leave u one day..even her mother too.

People around u will only pity and mock u.

Good luck

Did you heat what he said nii?he said my mother warn me no to go to her parent house to ask for my baby.
He shoult seat which wife down?you want her to give him another slap?abeg free this bross jor
Its see this bro do take cold water more than hot water and ogogoro

ItsQuinn:
if they end up sorting out their issues, good for them ....and what does the society have to do with their marital life or benefit from their marital life?

seems u are emotionally unstable.

akeensbussy:
My brother, u are a man and u have to stand by every decision u have taken in life..your wife is one of those decision. u met her, u wooed her and you convinced her to marry u, all by yourself.

in every decision u are taking in life, ur family should be number one. my advice for u is to go and look for ur wife and children anywhere they might be. That is the only thing u have got as a man.

if your wife is with her mother, go there and ask for ur wife authoritatively "Iyawo Mida, Iyawo mi ati awon omo mi ni mo wa ko" tell her parent like that. if u paid for a dowery and did a proper wedding, they will allow I to see ur wife.

Call ur wife, sit her down, tell her how much u missed her and the kids. re-woo her again. Do everything in your capacity to take your wife and kids home.

Be a man and stop been emotional. They are the only family u got. Your mother will leave u one day..even her mother too.

People around u will only pity and mock u.

Good luck

I should re-woo someone that doesn't want me anymore. I can't force her to come back. Never

taiiremide:
My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.

We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.

She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.

4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.

I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

please go and see her mother forget about what your family is saying ; only you knows what your kids means to you. other family members are chilling right now with their kids

.

jclassiq:
too cold or too cool? How do u mean cold?

Cool is understatement...Cold is the right statement

taiiremide:
My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.

We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.

She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.

4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.

I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

ur matter dey God hand. U Berra go luk for anoda wife. From what u wrote I can see DAT ds ur wife is interested in u bcoz of money. U need serious prayer getting anoda wife. Once beaten twice shy. Make sure u collect ur child from her co d way she go treat them, na d intro u see when she still dey wit u.

ted1741:
Those advising you to move on and the kids will come back obviously do not have kids. Your kids need you just as much as you need them. The kids need the nurturing from both parents. Fathers raise kids differently from mothers because we come from two different perspectives in life. Your kids need that balance and benefit of upbringing from those two perspectives. More importantly, the way she left implicitly means that she is habouring animosities towards you based on her own imaginary and utopian world devoid of your circumstances and reality. She is dislusioned that you are not delivering the "good" life for her. Perhaps she married you under those expectations or based on promises you made or she perceived. It doesn't now, if you do not intervene now, she is likely to poison the kids' minds towards you by saying uncharitable things in both subtle and verbal ways. If you do not intervene in a timely fashion, don't surprise the hostile attitude towards you from the kids, believe me, it will happen and happen very fast. Consequently, the kids will perceive you as a run a way father and may not forgive you so easily. Once the bond is elastically over stretched, the disconnect may never be reversed when they are matured. Put differently, if you are absent in their lives, they will resent you and you have from now before they turn 14, a teenage age when most of our lives' attributes are formed and shaped. Human beings begin to internalize events in their lives as early as three years. They will remember how their mother suffered and sacrificed to raise them and wonder what kind of dad you are and no amount of explanation from you can disabuse them of that ingrained memory. I strongly suggest you meet with her mother and diligently make effort even to a fault and speak with her. She is your wife, she may not be rational in this regard but as a man, she needs your effort to bring her back to reality because she is going through a phase. I suggest you ignore friends who may laugh and call you unprintable names because they are not in your shoes and don't understand why you the dogged effort to bring her back. A philosopher once said that, "in every relationship, one person must play the fools part" for it to succeed. Every family has issues and until they confine in you, you may never know what they are going through. My father once said that, "until you sleep with someone on the same bed, you will never know how their mouth smell", literally. Go and get your family. That is what a good husband/father does. It may take a lot of persuasion to get her to come on board either out of pride or irrationality, but persist for the sake of the children. Confine on someone she respects and listens to if all efforts fail and let the person speak with her. It is imperative you raise your kids or you will be sorry in no distant time. Goodluck.

another option for op, but where I faulT this advise is the some people don't just understand through talks(hence it is not reasonable and and it height of stupidity to be reasonable to unreasonable people), so in other words what is that possibility that if he labour and get back the woman and kids, the woman won't play a higher stunt than this one?. Even if he is negotiating for the kids and the wife he needs to do that from a strong position

Sorry abt ur plight big bros but u got married to a very immature woman. And to matters worse u over-indulged her to the point where she started believing u owed her for marrying u. Just go to court like someone said so u can have ur kids back. Sorry abt everything.

Ghost447:
Majority of married couples seems not to be happy at all and this is making me to develop cold feet towards marriage. I sincerely hope and pray that I find a God-sent wife otherwise...

I will be very happy if you respond to the question below

How did you reach your conclusion? Will be glad to hear a sound argument

arthurshelly:


Did you heat what he said nii?he said my mother warn me no to go to her parent house to ask for my baby.
He shoult seat which wife down?you want her to give him another slap?abeg free this bross jor
Its see this bro do take cold water more than hot water and ogogoro

ki ni omode ti e mo, his mother warned him..that too childish...his mother did not warn him when he was going there to woo her or seeking for her hand in marriage.

initially, his mother don't have to know that his wife had left home, not untill he has done everything in his capacity to bring her back. if all means fails, that is when he should now involve his parent. A real man should know how to take decision by himself. u must know what u want and what u don't

except he his not interested in the union again.

taiiremide:


Thank you so much Gaborone. She took my kids to her parent's house, they're there as I speak, but my mother warned me not to step my foot in their house as they're planning something evil. I know my mother very well, she can never be wrong. I asked my ex wife to bring my kids to eatery atleast to discuss how we're going to take good care of the kids, schooling, shelter, feeding etc. But she and her family insisted I come over to their house if I want to see my kids.

Better go there with the law , u need ur kids and I believe you gonna protect them more ... This are mistakes men do ..... Ladies with no ambition just dere to suck men dry . this set of ladies suffer

Bro I had same issue with my ex. I went through hell. She left and I fought and got my son back. I can tell u never give her breathing space till u get ur sons back.I gave all for the marriage but she thought it was better outside now she is stuck because she was disappointed. She is stuck in her fathers house now.
One more thing bro there is nothing like love in marriage. Take that advise and never show a woman u love here just give her 40% of love even u love her 100%. . . I don't intend marrying again. Am ok with my son and It will be too hard for me to put up with a woman again as wife under the same roof as I see them as thesame. U will never know who they are until u face challenges. Think about her and die and u will see her sleeping with ur best friend. One more thing Nigerian women think marriage is an escape route from poverty so be careful before u say I do.

millyj:
Bros I have someone very close who is going the same issue as you the only difference is they where not married,but where together for some many years and kids where involved too,...the man tried everything he could to get his kids he couldn't ,infact the woman he did n,t even know where she was for months.believe me your kids are not suffering,leave their your wife to her conscience, she will soon understand that it's not easy training kids alone.i understand you are missing them badly and you think you can,t live without them(you can)pickup yourself and when it's time tour kids will come back to your..best of luck

This is the best I have read

Op visit www.amaraofficial com

It either u married from a bad family or you have wronged her family very bady.moreover,I see lots of dis-unity between both families.how can her family just accept her like that,y is your wife against your mum taking your kids2 her place?she is suppose to be her mother in-law and mother.even if the op had done something wrong,I thing her first point of call should be her mother in law's place.I think both families never really liked d union,cus none of 'em is doing anything about it.I guess it's all about pride!n this ur story sound very one sided.

As 4 ur kids,they 'll turn up soon,thank God 4 d recession her brain go soon set.

Moral lesson;you don't just marry the guy or d babe,you really should consider the family.

akeensbussy:
My brother, u are a man and u have to stand by every decision u have taken in life..your wife is one of those decision. u met her, u wooed her and you convinced her to marry u, all by yourself.

in every decision u are taking in life, ur family should be number one. my advice for u is to go and look for ur wife and children anywhere they might be. That is the only thing u have got as a man.

if your wife is with her mother, go there and ask for ur wife authoritatively "Iyawo Mida, Iyawo mi ati awon omo mi ni mo wa ko" tell her parent like that. if u paid for a dowery and did a proper wedding, they will allow I to see ur wife.

Call ur wife, sit her down, tell her how much u missed her and the kids. re-woo her again. Do everything in your capacity to take your wife and kids home.

Be a man and stop been emotional. They are the only family u got. Your mother will leave u one day..even her mother too.

People around u will only pity and mock u.

Good luck

If she disagree ko . what next . cos all I see is a woman that is dere for the money . abi did u not read that

Dem dey take am go collect visa ni?

peculiar32:
thanks for noticing me.

Win a new itel phones www.itel-mobile.com/bargainng/?a=game&shareId=113561285776148&code=AQBV2r4DtUJrFBLCUeYIVKdYa6W87M7UGWphp49uIAWJYltlmi2ZhgdmFbm4Ytj-7-Wmo87vzZ5ijPRy_TVocmUY05Bg9OG6uSKiAO3NNr-ROjMfvwFdZEDRTcmRvcReQQamoFxzwDs_D2uMNVO96tZy3yk42XfyFX35Gzxe7y7_7r5NEfsMWRt-RCj6ZsFiNza8CH0M76KL6AhSwFQfit7zkc32nzDKrP7CTK45bN6i7edeDGWQKu60LqRPo_QWSiUlQ3a5R-tnXgvbtPZKD-r3lFFUy7u1qwwciRXtZx1t23pLwbGWpJ1_nD5-73KdzQ9ztPqhnhiJt_a2L8GpXdaf&state=eff955db9a146ffb3aa4b235a2e21acb#_=_

taiiremide:


I should re-woo someone that doesn't want me anymore. I can't force her to come back. Never

U can do it my brother, u must understand that women are too emotional...for the sake of your children..

They need both of u to stay focus.

wiloy2k8:



Better go there with the law , u need ur kids and I believe you gonna protect them more ... This are mistakes men do ..... Ladies with no ambition just dere to suck men dry . this set of ladies suffer

The story is one sided however the OP sounds like human beater,anyway just forget about the kids and look for a better job and i am sure she will come back to you

akeensbussy:


ki ni omode ti e mo, his mother warned him..that too childish...his mother did not warn him when he was going there to woo her or seeking for her hand in marriage.

initially, his mother don't have to know that his wife had left home, not untill he has done everything in his capacity to bring her back. if all means fails, that is when he should now involve his parent. A real man should know how to take decision by himself. u must know what u want and what u don't

except he his not interested in the union again.

Omode temi moo biwo she ma drink bobo alone....bros egbemu die..lol.
All this ur comment good for father not person wey only sabi how to pregnant woman and pretend to be father or husband

wiloy2k8:



If she disagree ko . what next . cos all I see is a woman that is dere for the money . abi did u not read that

How do u know that, were u there? is it not what he put up here that u know. Have u listen to the other side of the story..

"eni ba gbo ejo enikan dajo, agba osika ni"

taiiremide:


You're absolutely right about the depression, she's always bitter. I hate seeing her in depress mood, I'll advice her to be calm. I open cake shop for her in Osogbo, gave her 50k to buy somethings first that with time I'll give her enough money to stock the shop because we've spent a lot of money moving to oshogbo but she always complaining that people use to mock her because her shop is empty. With all the bills on my neck, I'll still have to think how am going to stock my wife shop, what do I do? I don't even have anyone to raise me 5k, I bear my burden alone, no support from anybody. She lack patient bro.

Please don't give up on ur marriage or ur family. I still believe u need to talk to her & stop taking ur family's advice. U will be very surprised at the issues she brings up as d reason for leaving. U guys need to talk through ur problems one after d other. U need to be vulnerable & just say what ur feeling. Encourage her to say everything on her mind too & find a way forward emotionally.

In terms of ur finances, discuss ways she can increase her income, and yours as well. She seems to just ask (eg. Shop money) & both of u expect u to drop money. Talk thru business ideas TOGETHER. Ways u both can raise funds TOGETHER. Things she can trade or do from home - without a shop. Set goals for urselves. Go through all these things together like partners. Let her be actively involved in thinking this through. Stop trying to play d role of mr hero ultimate warrior provider dt must provide shop & provide money for business. Ur both in this situation & u need to figure how to get out together. If not for urselves, then for ur kids. She will see this too.

But all these really needs to come from a place of love & hopefulness. She's wrong for leaving, but u don't need to get defensive & upset. Just find a way forward. I believe u guys can even come out stronger on d other side.

OP, if am in ur shoes, then God will book me in his book of Murderers cous I will get those kids back even if it's buying ticket to hell..

U re just too soft or under the influence of Native love..