Mindfulness:
DarkRebel101,
you are so on point!

As the saying goes, too much familiarity breeds contempt.

Many thanks, buddy.

...

You can see I used the Die Stachelsweine parable because of you. Or did you think it was an innocent coincidence?

^^^

KissChrix:
This post just buttresses the fact that Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Nice job Op

Many, many thanks.

joseph1832:
Not necessarily. The goal is to always be together. Be it physically, spiritually or otherwise.

Communication is key.

Your goal.

Mindfulness:


Your goal.

Then again, opinions have caused more harm than personal feelings.

joseph1832:
Then again, opinions have caused more harm than personal feelings.

Your goal is based on nothing else but a personal feeling of neediness.

Mindfulness:

Your goal is based on nothing else but a personal feeling of neediness.

And yours is based on personal feeling of selfishness, right?

joseph1832:
And yours is based on personal feeling of selfishness, right?

And neediness is what? Altruistic?

Like I told you, not being able to give your partner some space is selfishness at its peak.

Mindfulness:


And neediness is what? Altruistic?

Like I told you, not being able to give your partner some space is selfishness at its peak.

Nope, neediness is sometimes clouded by selfishness, agreed.

Then again, when that partner accuse you of ignoring her just because you gave her the space she crave for is a valid eye opener.

As James Hardley Chase say, You Never Know With Women.

joseph1832:
Nope, neediness is sometimes always clouded by selfishness, agreed.

Then again, when that partner accuse you of ignoring her just because you gave her the space she crave for is a valid eye opener.

As James Hardley Chase say, You Never Know With Women.

Fixed.

Mindfulness:


Fixed.

Kiss me and we're square, then again, always sound absolute, and absolutism isn't nice, pave way for narrow-mindedness.

joseph1832:
Kiss me and we're square, then again, always sound absolute, and absolutism isn't nice, pave way for narrow-mindedness.

I have often been accused of being an adherent of relativism on this forum. Today I am leaning toward absolutism and people are still not happy.
There is no pleasing everyone so I will stick to pleasing myself.

Mindfulness:


I have often been accused of being an adherent of relativism on this forum. Today I am leaning toward absolutism and people are still not happy.
There is no pleasing everyone so I will stick to pleasing myself.

There again the selfish persona surface. And again, it's your world, you're king, you're queen, you should do what makes you happy.

joseph1832:
There again the selfish persona surface. And again, it's your world, you're king, you're queen, you should do what makes you happy.

Just like you when you refuse to give your partner space.

Well-said op. A little distance CAN be a spice in thereabout any human relationship.

However, I agree with the lady that said that it depends on individual. Nearly every "rule" on relationships falls flat on its face if difference in personality is disregarded. You'd need to understand yourself, and work towards understanding your partner.

Some like to have their me-time regularly, and cannot bear the thought of being stuck with someone 24/7. For these, they need lots of space from time to time.

Some others get their energy from being around others as often as possible. In a romantic or marital relationship, these latter ones would feel abandoned when there isn't constant presence or feedback. For these, the few hours spent away from each other each day is enough.

Yeah, I'd like to call that distance 'space'. I think it's more fitting in the long run, as your write-up focuses on premarital relationships. What happens when they are married and now live together? Would married mates have to take weekly trips separate from each other to keep the fire burning?

In the end, whether or not distance makes the heart fonder depends on what you do when you are together. If it's the same boring monotony, even distance can't help that relationship. They would simply drift apart.

Mindfulness:


Just like you when you refuse to give your partner space.

Then again, we're one of a kind, coming from different angles...

Remember the law of magnetism? "Unlike poll attract".

Oahray:
Well-said op. A little distance CAN be a spice in thereabout any human relationship.

However, I agree with the lady that said that it depends on individual. Nearly every "rule" on relationships falls flat on its face if difference in personality is disregarded. You'd need to understand yourself, and work towards understanding your partner.

Some like to have their me-time regularly, and cannot bear the thought of being stuck with someone 24/7. For these, they need lots of space from time to time.

Some others get their energy from being around others as often as possible. In a romantic or marital relationship, these latter ones would feel abandoned when there isn't constant presence or feedback. For these, the few hours spent away from each other each day is enough.

Yeah, I'd like to call that distance 'space'. I think it's more fitting in the long run, as your write-up focuses on premarital relationships. What happens when they are married and now live together? Would married mates have to take weekly trips separate from each other to keep the fire burning?

In the end, whether or not distance makes the heart fonder depends on what you do when you are together. If it's the same boring monotony, even distance can't help that relationship. They would simply drift apart.

When the two have a job and other obligations (children, aging parents, etc.), they will not see each other for more than a few hours every day and sometimes even less.

joseph1832:
Then again, we're one of a kind, coming from different angles...

Remember the law of magnetism? "Unlike poll attract".

We are all of one kind, selfishly made.
But we were raised to think of it as something that must be fought so that people can manipulate us into doing something they want for selfish reasons. It's like saying, I am not selfish for expecting of you what I want but you are selfish if you do not give me what I selfishly want.

Am not sure if you are trying to flirt with me but I am happily taken.

DarkRebel101:


It crashed because distance was not balanced with intimacy and closeness. The two must always work hand in glove.

It takes a great deal of maturity and forbearance to make a long-distance relationship work. I know some people who have done it successfully but I still don't think it's the ideal form of relationship. Long-distance relationships are studded with so many uncertainties and are very much subject to Murphy's Law which states that if there's even a fragment of chance that something can go wrong, then it would eventually go wrong.

Okay i get you.

Mindfulness:


When the two have a job and other obligations (children, aging parents, etc.), they will not see each other for more than a few hours every day and sometimes even less.

then there is no need bringing up the distance issue in premarital relationships. With the exception of live-in lovers, people dating see each other less often than married couples living together.

Mindfulness:


There is a need to bring the topic up because many people have been suffocated by clingy partners.

many... Not everyone. I only objected to the one-size-fit all approach the opening post took.

The suffocation is caused by personality differences. What is too much space for one isn't enough space for the other.

Oahray:
many... Not everyone. I only objected to the one-size-fit all approach the opening post took.

The suffocation is caused by personality differences. What is too much space for one isn't enough space for the other.

True.

You folks are derailing my thread.

DarkRebel101:
You folks are derailing my thread.

Mindfulness:


Thanks.

Oh you're most welcome. Your mind is always an interesting read. It's rich in its own mindfulness.

Oahray:

I think it's more fitting in the long run, as your write-up focuses on premarital relationships. What happens when they are married and now live together? Would married mates have to take weekly trips separate from each other to keep the fire burning?

I appreciate your input. You're right about my zeroing focus on only premarital relationships. This is so because I have first-hand experiences in that regard. I can't say this applies in marriages as well because I have no experience whatsoever in that station.

But I don't think a little distance in marriages is far-fetched. Couples do it all the time, howbeit they take a more subtle and modest approach.

Sometimes they don't even need to create distance as circumstances create the distance for them. Circumstances like work, children, etc.