brasilia:
she already she doesn't give a damn on whatever I feel

brasilia:
I have

brasilia:
i cant help but keep reading your comment you captured it all,

GANDALF1:


You think she doesnt give a damn about what anybody says right? Drop a well typed divorce agreement on her without prior warning, by 12am and beg her to sign it. Your statement will be invalidated

Bros, take hold of your home. You are the man and nothing can change that.

I prefer to use the "pistol on the table" approach. I have the gun, you know i have the gun, you can see the gun is on the table loaded and ready to fire, but i will never shoot you except you force me to.

Cheers

brasilia:
i cant help but keep reading your comment you captured it all,

chachanga:


It's obvious you are not in control of your end of your marital relationship
the anger is an act, a smokescreen
dont wait for her to destroy your life

secondly, don't you or her have family members?

Hahaha, you quoted the wrong person, l am not the Op but also a contributor to the subject of discussion

majorbravo:


Have you thought of the fact that Op may have married her to get a green card? In such a marriage who do you think is most likely to wear the pants? He may be living in her house. There is even a tendency she has threatened to throw him out for daring to speak back when she talks, or perhaps even send him back to the jungles of Africa if he wouldn't live by her own terms. In such case, even the Lion would become a mere cat.

Psoul:


Please i expect you to respect my wife and never mention her here until i bring up her issues. There is no rule here that says that u must quote me. U can get out of my post without insulting me.

Psoul:


Please i expect you to respect my wife and never mention her here until i bring up her issues. There is no rule here that says that u must quote me. U can get out of my post without insulting me.

brasilia:
brilliant ! you Nigerians are brilliant, I miss home, every suggestion has a grain of ingenuity. I am really humbled that you all find the time to read and respond to me.

segzie2012:


Bro...sorry didnt mean it that way...cheers

segzie2012:
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by brasilia: 9:10am
GANDALF1:


You think she doesnt give a damn about what anybody says right? Drop a well typed divorce agreement on her without prior warning, by 12am and beg her to sign it. Your statement will be invalidated

Bros, take hold of your home. You are the man and nothing can change that.

I prefer to use the "pistol on the table" approach. I have the gun, you know i have the gun, you can see the gun is on the table loaded and ready to fire, but i will never shoot you except you force me to.

Cheers
brilliant ! you Nigerians are brilliant, I miss home, every suggestion has a grain of ingenuity. I am really humbled that you all find the time to read and respond to me.



@brasilia: I hope your wife his a Nigerian who has family lineage who do not encourage broken homes (who can talk some sense into her head) orelse... it might not werk!

brasilia:
that is d only weakness in this plan. She does not have a sound family . background. She is not in contact with her father's family, its literally just her her mother and her step siblings who are all leaving respectfully family lives

AngelicBeing:
Hahaha, you quoted the wrong person, l am not the Op but also a contributor to the subject of discussion

summerflame:
One or two hard slap to reset her brain to default won't be a bad idea or what do u think?

ehis05:


lol her reaction to that one slap can lead to several slaps and punches sef

proffemi:


"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings."

I don't want to comment on the issue of your wife and her friend, but scanning through this thread, it is obvious (IMO) that you need to look inwards first. You sound weak-willed, and basically invite your woman to ride rough-shod over you. I'd be less concerned about confronting your wife's friend (childish idea, that...) and address the issue at the source: RESPECT. Love feeds on respect. You wife does not seem to respect you, and I'm going to blame you for that. You need to work on earning her respect. Any other thing you do (surveillance, confrontation...whatever) will either hasten the demise of your marriage, or push your BP up a few points. As you yourself observed, she's apparently past caring at this stage.

Good luck dude.

Biafrarep:
This just confirmed my fears all along bro. Your wife has lost all respect for you and this makes it the more dangerous because she can even decide to cheat on you without minding the consequence. At this moment she sees you as a wussbag who she can trample on. She has lost attraction in you and is probably considering life without you. She maybe trying to push you to the wall so you can send her packing and she will be guilt free for not being the one that dumped you. You have to act fast(though its a bit late already). Dont give her the excuse she needs by beating her, rather be tactful, pretend like you dont care about her attitude, but once you have a strong evidence, then you confront not just her but your inlaws as well. It sucks to be you right now.

Berbierklaus:

Have you cheated on your wife before sir

HARDDON:



Yea, maybe he has cheated aforetimes. Maybe he aint satisfying her in bed, maybe he aint providing for d fam, maybe he doesnt have her time , maybe she was forced into d marriage, maybe she married him cos of money but still stuck on old heat( she neva really luvd him) , maybe the marriage lost its spark! Maybe she started taking counsel from randy single/married female friends


These n many more cud lead to this

hedonistic:


Oh boy I pity you small.

You're not in control, and once a husband loses control, then it is inevitable that the wife IS cheating or SHALL cheat at some point.

The day my woman opens her smelly mouth to form angry and retort that I should do whatever I like when I express my reservations about her conduct, then I would end the marriage. She kuku know say I be drastic man and my brain dey touch.

Men need to wake up. Too much softy softy puts you in a mess. Then again, if you began on that note with her from the beginning, then it is difficult to change the dynamic now.

People like us know better. You must use the Abacha or Idi Amin Iron hand - firm and uncompromising - on certain key issues when it comes to naija women, otherwise dem go ride you like fool. Of course you can be soft on many other issues, but for this kind loyalty/fidelity matter, there is no room for negotiation or 'understanding'. She either does things my way, or I conclude that she is cheating or will cheat, and I would treat her accordingly.

siloXIX:



haha.... passed through this same situation. your wife no longer loves you bro.

but lemme ask, is she a mother to your child yet?

xynerise:


Like seriously?

So if he is cheating he should tell you 'Yes sir,I am fvcking your wife'? guy, wish you know what i am going tru emotionally

AngelicBeing:
She is not telling you the whole truth, why cant she tell the guy to stop sending her such messages because it is doing much harm to her matrimony, abegi , except she is lying and enjoying the flirty messages, you and l dont know what they discuss with each other on phone when you are not there, marriage is sacred l think and should be held so, flirting with another man or woman once married breaks the sanctity of the institution, it seems your wife is the husband in your house while you are the wife, l may be wrong, but you have to do all you can to keep your home or else another guy in the name of family friend/ church member might be feasting on your wife

brasilia:

what is the updates, has she opened up to you

AngelicBeing:
what is the updates, has she opened up to you

brasilia:
person wet dey still quarrel . She is still angry, we do not talk to each other, we cook differently, everybody is doing there own. I have to see that guy although people adviced against it, Na oyinbo the guy marry,

Really, like l said to you in my previous post, dont bother talking nor asking the guy anything, you have been given tons of advises by different people on this thread, sieve through it and take the once that are practicable to your situation

AngelicBeing:
Really, like l said to you in my previous post, dont bother talking nor asking the guy anything, you have been given tons of advises by different people on this thread, sieve through it and take the once that are practicable to your situation

Saintsquare:
op might be pulling our legs tho