bakynes:
She may not be cheating yet in the romantic way but the guy is definitely making advances at her and she is having a second thought on accepting him. So you can say she is cheating emotionally because she is not allowed to even have such feelings for another man besides her husband.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Oyind17:
Screenshot their conversation. She may not be cheating you know

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Vizzim:
For me it better u deal with ur marriage that what important than confronting the guy.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

brasilia:
I can do anything for peace to reign

I sent you a PM, reply my message with your contact.

I will give my own advice in an interpersonal level. ...


I care for you bro

Preferably Whatsapp number or BBM PIN

bobolizim:
This is somehow complicated , I've so many things running through my mind concernin this issue ..

. Questions like , when you were in relationship would she rather tell you to think whatever you want to think in such matter ? Cause seriously issues like this occur sometimes in relationship ...

From all that I can deduce here , it's more like you're not really authoritative over her , are you guys of the same age or she's older than you're ? Though age is not a barrier but it can be issue sometimes ... Is your wife a kind of person that keeps guys as friends?

However, it will depicts how immature you may be calling a guy you don't share any relationship with concerning issue like this , like what if nothing's really wrong between them ?

In all,i think the problem here is your wife , if one should learn anything about relationships with the opposite gender then it's setting boundary , does she even value your marriage ? Hope it's not like you forced yourself on her oo , it's evident to the deaf and glaring to the blind that "there're many males but few husbands" . A good wife would listen and decipher even the unspoken words of her husband,ultimately keeping his man .

By and large , I think the most effective thing is communication , try and talk to her in a mature way and let's her know your view about it as a man , she should understand you ! My cent !

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

MicroBox:
Brother, women are very cunny but not too smart. Before suspicion will ruin your marriage, tell her to let go anything with the so called family friend to avoid unnecessary suspicion because you are becoming not too comfortable with the guy.
A good and reasonable wife will understand and save her marriage.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

brasilia:
I live in the states, you can not throw any person out like that

Your wife, like many other Nigerian wives in the US we have been hearing of wants to fully utilize the advantage she gets from the US defective system to cheat on you and still rub it in your face. Please do not focus on confrontation now, but on gathering of valid evidence cos thats the only thing that can save you when she comes down on you with full force and wants you to lose your mind so she can take advantage of you. Be wise mehn, she is cheating & your marriage is over whether you accept it or not. Focus on actions that will protect you when things fall totally apart.

Charly68:
Wait ooo! Moreover she does not care;I think your wife is dancing around fire,naveity or overconfidence may put her into trouble..I don't support a married woman playing emotional game..it can be suicidal ..You can't tell he might be her ex.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
Let me start by saying that whatever anybody tells you on Social media concerning marriage and you don't think through carefully before taking action will cause you more harm than good.

Every marriage has its own formulae all you need do is find yours!!!!.

Now to the issue, I think you sounded more confrontational when you approached her hence the reason for her reaction. Until u have an undeniable evidence, you don't go confrontational with your spouse when it comes issues in marriage.

Like I said find a formulae on how to resolve issues in your marriage and you will be surprised how many equations will be solved.

#myopinionthough.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

ManTiger:
Brasilia, since when have you been married?
Do you married her officially, like church or registry?
Did you have a long relationship lets say 5 - 7 yrs before you married her officially?

Bro, this could be the beginning if care is not taken.

married but traditional and church, nice wedding, dated for 5years, been married for 6 years

segzie2012:


His not right ooo... Marriage can be funny atimes "TRUST"

Dey have not had anytin together as far as I am concern because you have no evidence "u've got only conversation trails- d guy can be a free talker and your wife might just response because she need someone to " trust your wife 1st...

my advise is you give your wife more time - give her all the attention she needs,chat,call,take her out, do romoe & juliet - she will not see any reason to call the guy for anything. Best of luck guy

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

brasilia:
I live in the states, you can not throw any person out like that

This makes your case even worse. With feminists and women rights on the prowl, decadent morals/value system and the fact that she could be earning as much as you if not more, makes it the more pathetic. Smh.

DukeNija:


This is the best advice. Mr Op please you need to focus on your marriage cos your wife is obviously unhappy and shes probably taking it out on you. Be a better husband to that woman and all the others will disappear.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Jaabioro:
Stay calm and be watchful, have your enough evidence before spin the beans.. What you gave us was just a preamble to the port.. The is more to it.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

brasilia:
I can do anything for peace to reign

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings."

I don't want to comment on the issue of your wife and her friend, but scanning through this thread, it is obvious (IMO) that you need to look inwards first. You sound weak-willed, and basically invite your woman to ride rough-shod over you. I'd be less concerned about confronting your wife's friend (childish idea, that...) and address the issue at the source: RESPECT. Love feeds on respect. You wife does not seem to respect you, and I'm going to blame you for that. You need to work on earning her respect. Any other thing you do (surveillance, confrontation...whatever) will either hasten the demise of your marriage, or push your BP up a few points. As you yourself observed, she's apparently past caring at this stage.

Good luck dude.

Ayanfeoluwaoba:
Let me start by saying that whatever anybody tells you on Social media concerning marriage and you don't think through carefully before taking action will cause you more harm than good.

Every marriage has its own formulae all you need do is find yours!!!!.

Now to the issue, I think you sounded more confrontational when you approached her hence the reason for her reaction. Until u have an undeniable evidence, you don't go confrontational with your spouse when it comes issues in marriage.

Like I said find a formulae on how to resolve issues in your marriage and you will be surprised how many equations will be solved.

#myopinionthough.

I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Now that she is not willing to listen, SHOULD I CALL HER MOTHER AND LET HER KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON ?

You are a very weak man. In as much as I am the man in the marriage, I have every right to be respected and regarded. Cowards like u ain't grown up enough courage before jumping in with a Jezebel in marriage ..

Hate responding to weakling like u though

brasilia:
I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Bros u need concrete evidence.

She sounds like a "can not say no" Lady. U need to help her out.

ehis05:
U asked her about it and she became angry...imagine dis kyn rubbish reaction. She might not be cheating but the way she reacts to issues concerning this guy is not the best at all... and from what u wrote, its like you are a lil bit soft on her than expected. Not saying u should hit her, but the way she shouts and her response doesn't show she respects u a lot as a husband...

One or two hard slap to reset her brain to default won't be a bad idea or what do u think?

cheezy4real:



So if her husband wasn't there, she would have sent hers or replied with emotional chats

It's a flirty message. It's like when a man playfully tease a female friend about missing him already while the friend would reply thus "I have my man/boyfriend here with me, so why should I miss/need you"

However, the husband must quickly nip it in the bud to avoid story that touches.

brasilia:
Thanks very much, the guy is not a family friend per say, because I do not know him, he is friend/church member with my wife. I only hear of him. Sadly when I asked my wife about the messages, she was very angry, she said she was not in control of wat ever the guy was sending, and moreover, she doesn't care. So the only option I have is to look for the guy and speak with him, but I don't know how this will look.

My brother you just have to tread with caution, when it comes to women issue you just can't say


just like someone here rightly said you've just got to confront her and insist she cut every communication with this so call guy.....

brasilia:
I thank all of you for your kind contributions, some have said that I should wait to have concrete evidence. Well about a year ago, she was on phone with somebody and all of sudden she was asking the guy dont you know I am married, I asked what was the problem, she refused to answer me, we quarreled and I let go, because I never knew what they were saying. The only I thing I gather was that the person was her church member, so that was how I banned her from ever attending that same church again. It was only of recent that I discovered that it was this same guy that I am talking about now.

Just discuss the matter with her and remind her she's a married woman. All those flirting attitude doesn't suit her as a married woman and that she wouldn't like the same thing if she were in your shoe. Unknown to her, she's probably leading on the man who may have an ulterior motive in the first place.

brasilia:
Brilliant, but the thing is this, when I confronted my wife, she said she can not control what the guy was typing, and sending, then I asked her why did she not caution the guy, instead all she said to the guy was that 'my husband is here ' . My brother wen I told her that she got really angry, that I should do wstever I like, after all she was not the one that started it.

you have to be careful ...its either your wife has started to cheat on you already or is about to...my advise do a small CIA work on her and d guy ...track and spy on d guy witout dem knowing..... buh if u can lay ur hands on d guys phone ...I'm sure u wil confirm a lot of ur suspicions ...I jus can't stand a cheating wife...

AngelicBeing:
She is not telling you the whole truth, why cant she tell the guy to stop sending her such messages because it is doing much harm to her matrimony, abegi , except she is lying and enjoying the flirty messages, you and l dont know what they discuss with each other on phone when you are not there, marriage is sacred l think and should be held so, flirting with another man or woman once married breaks the sanctity of the institution, it seems your wife is the husband in your house while you are the wife, l may be wrong, but you have to do all you can to keep your home or else another guy in the name of family friend/ church member might be feasting on your wife

I totally agree with you *AngelicBeing * he's not in control of his home at all, why should he talk and his wife flare up over such trivial questions,he should seriously man up and take charge of his home

HARDDON:




Wow! Wify having the temerity to shout down husby? N husby put his tails inbtw his legs like a drenched dog, go to one corner of the room n lick his bruised ego injuries? O heavens!

THE MAN, EVEN THOUGH CARRIES D PHYSICAL BALLS, IS THE WOMAN IN D FAMILY!

She deprive u of her body doesnt she? U r losing it aint u? Even feel like u r not man enuf sometimes dont u?

If u didnt know, she uses her anger to manipulate u! Control u. N u cant just see tru it.

If that is her old phone, why dont u get hold of her new phone n see America wonders? Sure u have d heart for that?
If u do, all d answers u seek r right in there.
Since she is a daring woman who knows u cant touch her phone.......



But it didnt start today.

Bros u have said it all

sexy74:

You said a good reasonable wife abi, if she is not good and reasonable, what happens?
Na from clap e dey turn to dance.
OP tell her straight to the face that any day you see or she mention that guy she goes back to her parents.
Kosi aye fun Iran.

Best advice so far!!!


Who the hell is she to shout u down? She can't be in ur house and be flirting with another man, yet offers no explanation to you but have the guts to tell u to do anything.

What the Fk!!!

And I can't believe people are even asking u to call the man. To discuss what exactly? Hey man did u fuk my wife?

Well if I was the man and u call me I will tell u to fuk off or I will ask u to pay me not to fuk ur wife.

Be the man and take charge. Be ready to let go if she can't give u ur right as a husband... STOP LICKING HER ASS, THE SMELL WILL EVENTUALLY KILL U AND SHE WILL BE FREE TO FUK ALL THE MEN SHE WANTS TO EVEN BEFIRE U ARE BURIED ANF FORGOTTEN.

Bro...you're wife is flirting and she doesn't care about your own thoughts and feelings...she's angry ke?angry about what?
Thats a no no...
Don't waste your time trying to fix a broken lady.. It's inevitable let her self destruct...
The both of you have trust issues..

Never go through a lady's phone next time If u don't have the balls to take charge of the situation if not u go get heart attack...

brasilia:
Brilliant, but the thing is this, when I confronted my wife, she said she can not control what the guy was typing, and sending, then I asked her why did she not caution the guy, instead all she said to the guy was that 'my husband is here ' . My brother wen I told her that she got really angry, that I should do wstever I like, after all she was not the one that started it.

Op can you throw more light on this bolded statement? Before I give my advice. But what I can say for now is that its pointless calling the guy up because he already knows your wife is married (from her statement on the phone asking him if he doesn't understand she is married). Telling him would only make them be more cautious about hiding their affair if indeed they are seeing each other. I would tell you what to do only if you answer the above question sincerely.

frank317:


Best advice so far!!!


Who the hell is she to shout u down? She can't be in ur house and be flirting with another man, yet offers no explanation to you but have the guts to tell u to do anything.

What the Fk!!!

And I can't believe people are even asking u to call the man. To discuss what exactly? Hey man did u fuk my wife?

Well if I was the man and u call me I will tell u to fuk off or I will ask u to pay me not to fuk ur wife.

Be the man and take charge. Be ready to let go if she can't give u ur right as a husband... STOP LICKING HER ASS, THE SMELL WILL EVENTUALLY KILL U AND SHE WILL BE FREE TO FUK ALL THE MEN SHE WANTS TO EVEN BEFIRE U ARE BURIED ANF FORGOTTEN.

He needs proof to act though. Guessing is not enough

Apparently, she is getting fed up with their relationship thus the talking off and all

Am not saying she is cheating or not... But for her replying you with "anger" when you ask about the guy. That means there is something fishy about both of them (She and the guy).

brasilia:
Thanks for your thoughts on the matter, you might be right,

Not might, he is right. It is obvious your wife is already cheating on u, u just don't wanna believe this probably because u love her...u seem like a weak man from your post.... man up & tell her to cut every connection she have with the guy... & warn the guy to stay off your wife. If she starts giving u attitude because of this...i believe u know what to do...