freepop:
So, I've been in a serious relationship with her for almost two years and now we're considering marriage at least in the next two years.

I've disclosed some of investments, interests and plans to her. But she's been pestering to know my account balance, always asking for how much I have or even an estimate.

I'm really getting pistes with her endless requests.

NB: She's an Igbo lady less than 25, I'm a Yoruba guy less than 30. She's the only child. Her mum feels Yoruba dudes are uncaring and poor, she's been on the verge of cutting off the whole relationship and I think this one only way she wants to finally size me up and decide on the next line of man to pick up.

What do you think and advice?

funmisticqueen:
her mum is right, yoruba guys are uncaring and poor, and they tend to depend on women a lot, take it from a yoruba girl

freepop:
You're right! Let me just leave you to your myopic and unfounded sweeping generalisation.

funmisticqueen:
her mum is right, yoruba guys are uncaring and poor, and they tend to depend on women a lot, take it from a yoruba girl

luminouz:

Well I don't depend on women for a living...
U sure ur a Yoruba girl Coz u just abused ur own DAD

funmisticqueen:
please allow me to rephrase, yoruba men born later than the year 1990, besides my dad didnt have a typical yoruba upbringing, so he is exempted

luminouz:

Well I don't depend on women for a living...
U sure ur a Yoruba girl Coz u just abused ur own DAD

funmisticqueen:
please allow me to rephrase, yoruba men born later than the year 1990, besides my dad didnt have a typical yoruba upbringing, so he is exempted

Rorachy:
I've dated someone and he showed me his saving account.

So I think you should show her the one with smaller money to gain her trust.

funmisticqueen:
her mum is right, yoruba guys are uncaring and poor, and they tend to depend on women a lot, take it from a yoruba girl

funmisticqueen:
please allow me to rephrase, yoruba men born later than the year 1990, besides my dad didnt have a typical yoruba upbringing, so he is exempted

freepop:
Yeah! I once did though passively. She saw it and smiled and we both got on with the business at hand. Showing her the account details isn't my problem but for her to use it as a final benchmark for whether the relationship stands or falls is my worry. She I cannot go and borrow money and put in the account just to impress her.

She's just a money freak, building her future on fantasies and I want this and that mentality.

funmisticqueen:
her mum is right, yoruba guys are uncaring and poor, and they tend to depend on women a lot, take it from a yoruba girl

Rorachy:
The fact that you are afonja and she is Igbo is making her to do that, she wants to know of you have enough money to convince her mum to marry you.

freepop:
Gbam! That's the point.

I've observed it, told her and she confirmed it.

She even said left to her she's cool with what she's seen thus far, however, her mum feels otherwise, hence, she wants to dig deeper saying, she wouldn't want me to come disgrace myself and also mock her parents when the time comes.

For me such thought from her parents (mum) could be hard to get off her own mind actually. She's the only child, the bond with her mum is premium. I bet it'll mean I'll have to do so much to please her mum, not even daughter or myself or our relationship. It's quite a dicey affair for a young blood like me.

My other worry is that the family isn't even well to do with (schooling an only child is a bit of a burden for them), yet the mama is giving specifications of a choice man for her.

I've told her that in the long run she'llbe the one to live her life and take responsibilities for what she makes out of it all.

As with the regular Igbo culture, I presume they'll get her an old old man with loads of money to marry. That way she and her mama can have all the money they want, whilst sacrificing the girl's happiness.

Rorachy:
I'm always right .

freepop:
Bro, leave her to her world. Don't even what she's saying�. How can you generalise that all Yoruba men are uncaring and dishonest?

If you call this objectivity, then it's a blind one. And obviously, this isn't a case of tribal allegiance.

Oh! It's the Nigerian version of feminism, right? SMH

luminouz:

I still stand on my word......

freepop:
Bro, leave her to her world. Don't even what she's saying�. How can you generalise that all Yoruba men are uncaring and dishonest?

If you call this objectivity, then it's a blind one. And obviously, this isn't a case of tribal allegiance.

Oh! It's the Nigerian version of feminism, right? SMH

Integrator1:

Your family inclusive ba? Dad, brothers and relative I guess? If not, you wouldn't have generalise.
This usually comes from ladies whose lives is dependent on Boyfriends.

funmisticqueen:
i am not the only one out there who has such a mentality, i am just blunt enough to say it out. instead of comforting yourselves with empty words, the whole lot of you should change the impression you give to nigerian ladies in general whether it be a yoruba demon or a gigolo with ‘H’ factor. Goodday.

sunshineG:
don't you think you are being ridiculous driving a whole tribe into your issue

Sis there is no crime marrying from another tribe if you don't like men from your own tribe

Your claims are ill informed and misguided. You claim your father is an exemption to prove your dad is caring. What about your cousins, uncle and siblings( if you have male brothers) are they exemptions too.

So you think I can't be an exemption or those yoruba you haven't interacted can't be all exceptions.

I honestly felt you were more open minded than this

funmisticqueen:
this is notvabout being openminded but abou what experience has taught me, all my male xousins older than me are abroad and not yoruba, the ones that r yoruba are little children and also abroad, most of my aunties did not marry yoruba men, the one that did are either divorced or the breadwinners, growing up, all the men who sat at home while their wives went to hussle for daily bread were yoruba, in uni, girls who dated yoruba man were more likely to be pampered and cared for less, than those dating other tribes, i have many more examples, i nearly turned into a sugar mummy from dating yoruba men becos money is not an issue, i am comfortable, so i have turned a new leaf, i wont bring a yoruba man home to my parents and they have no issues.
i am still waiting for that yoruba man who is the execption to the rule

funmisticqueen:
her mum is right, yoruba guys are uncaring and poor, and they tend to depend on women a lot, take it from a yoruba girl

FemiEddy:

U really don't know what you are saying, cos all ur post on this thread ain't cool, Yoruba this, Yoruba that, please go and marry Fulani Na, leave us alone, if u were my lady, u wouldn't even have time to post all dat things u posted. Don't worry, the right Yoruba guy will come ur way, but he won't with this ur mentality

funmisticqueen:
plenty of fish in the sea, from other tribes of course, no yoruba man is MAN ENOUGH to change my menrality yet

sunshineG:

My sis its your life and you make your decisions, so marry who ever you like
I am just away you generalized

I also have to elder sisters that are married to yoruba men and are quite happy, I think it about the circle you find yourself

I will advice you change your circle and move with men who dont see relationship as poverty elevation scheme. Change your thinking and manner of approach to the opposite sex to have attract better prospects. After all you are who you attract. Changing tribe may not bring better prospects


Then again it is your choice. Just know those type of men you are talking about are all over the world

FemiEddy:
Please are you single at the moment? Just asking

funmisticqueen:
yes, in a relationship