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Na Man You Be - Literature (6) - Nairaland

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A Tribute To Buchi Emecheta; N'odu Na Ndokwa. / Ufodu Ihe Ndi Igbo Ji Esi Nri Na Ulo Ha (traditional Cooking Utensils) / No Be Me, Na Baba God (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Na Man You Be by EmpresFIDEL(f): 2:55pm On Jul 22, 2017
hahahahahaha
Re: Na Man You Be by eROCK247(m): 4:47pm On Jul 22, 2017
Funny as usual. I couldn't expect less. I just hope Ola's mom survives
Re: Na Man You Be by flow1759: 10:26pm On Jul 22, 2017
"Nkem i no know wetin i go do for this council wey my mama get ooh!" Nkem and Fu-fu sat outside gesting.

"Cancer! Not council"

"Either council or cancer, that one no change anything, my mama go soon die!"

"No worry, your mama no go die, she will live to declare the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, say amen......" Nkem turned prophet.

"Amen......." Fu-fu responded, "wait ooh! When last you go see your brother Enadi for prison?"

"When last i go? E don tay ooh! Since the past 6 months na only two times i don go see am"

"Even sef i here say them go soon release all of them" Nkem informed.

"Eheeen! Who tell you?" Fu-fu smelled.

"Na for our salon na! I hear Dornu mama dey tell my madam say her husband don agree to go release them"

"Eheeen! Oluwa ese oooh!"





"Oya suck me dry!" Mrs. Damiana Daniels told Nas.

"Me? Suck you dry" Nas instantly recalled the last time such statement was made but by Flo.

"Help me use this foam soak this my wound so that e go go quick" Flo was wounded on his left ankle that day at the shop.

Soak sounded like suck.


"Okay! But........... "

"But wetin!" Flo cuts abruptly, "ju souck it!"

Soon Nas was smelling Flo's open sore already. Wait for it, he was about to lick the mango sorry orange

"So na me you want make i lick your wound abi?" he had licked.




"Ade see wound all round your body?" Nnamdi told Ade as they sat together yet lonely.

" No worry i know what to do!"

1 Like

Re: Na Man You Be by Uthman51(m): 11:29pm On Jul 22, 2017
Therock5555:
Mr flow weldone sah

when u dey drop ur own?
Re: Na Man You Be by swiz123(m): 7:45am On Jul 23, 2017
Flow... Beta caption that house "house of sodom"
Re: Na Man You Be by Therock5555(m): 4:30pm On Jul 23, 2017
Uthman51:

when u dey drop ur own?
next year grin grin
Re: Na Man You Be by experimentist: 7:25am On Jul 24, 2017
Flow1759, flowey, Udeme. How e dey go?
Re: Na Man You Be by Chimaritoponcho: 1:41pm On Jul 25, 2017
Plow walahi talahi manna ip you no kwom ufdate dis story i go bex por you mannagrin
Re: Na Man You Be by queenitee(f): 12:06am On Jul 27, 2017
Lol, I missed this story
Re: Na Man You Be by cyber5(m): 2:19pm On Jul 27, 2017
lmao



suck:soak
Re: Na Man You Be by EmpresFIDEL(f): 6:06pm On Jul 27, 2017
oga flow were are you.. it's been 5days
Re: Na Man You Be by Chimaritoponcho: 11:49am On Jul 28, 2017
An other abandoned story .flow you no dey try o,why start a story you know you' won't finish after holding someone spellbound .mtcheew
Re: Na Man You Be by daremiarchs(m): 6:17pm On Aug 22, 2017
Finally, I don catch up cool
Baba flow,wey update na? ABI you don catch COUNCIL? shocked
Re: Na Man You Be by Rodriguez12(m): 11:38pm On Aug 22, 2017
Started from the bottom now we r here......
Baba flow jus de flow Mk I de follow
Re: Na Man You Be by pnet22: 8:53am On Aug 24, 2017
When flow1759 write, you go know, well done broda
Re: Na Man You Be by Momoh7(m): 3:17pm On Sep 04, 2017
I don come
Re: Na Man You Be by moseph(f): 8:04pm On Sep 04, 2017
Flowa where art thou?
Re: Na Man You Be by Kingstone32(m): 9:02pm On Oct 02, 2017
Continue o
Re: Na Man You Be by ologuntheo(m): 6:04pm On Oct 03, 2017
where dis flow self dey?where dis flow self dey?where dis flow self dey?
Re: Na Man You Be by drippin007(m): 1:09am On Oct 11, 2017
Flow!Flowee!!Flowest!!!

where you waka go all this while na?
[b][/b]Hope say no reach your side
Re: Na Man You Be by Kirgyakos(m): 3:23pm On Oct 23, 2017
Where flow go nah!
Abeg kom kill us wit laf.
Re: Na Man You Be by itsandi(m): 4:00pm On Oct 23, 2017
Interesting story... Enjoy cool stories on Tushstories via

www.tushstories.com

#Click!
Re: Na Man You Be by flow1759: 8:40pm On Nov 05, 2017
Kirgyakos:
Where flow go nah!
Abeg kom kill us wit laf.


Sorry my dear fans. I have been busy.
Re: Na Man You Be by Alexgeneration(m): 9:10pm On Nov 05, 2017
flow1759:



Sorry my dear fans. I have been busy.
Guy nawa oooo, U just disappear like that, wetin happen na?
Re: Na Man You Be by flow1759: 11:13pm On Nov 05, 2017
"Na man we all be" Ola reminded as all friends sat to drink palm wine at Umoh's.

"You! Man? Na woman you be jor!" Nnamdi corrected.

"Umoh abeg arrange me 404!" Ola ordered.

"You sabi order now abi? Shey na becuase them don release us for that prison nahim make u get mouth to order abi!" Ade pointed out.


30 minutes on.

"Hmmmmm! Who messs?" Nnamdi perceived.

"Nas! Na you!" Ogbonta was sure, he could tell the differences between a fart by Nas and that by Nnamdi. His nostrils was the litmus test.

Another 30 minutes of rotten egg smell.



"Flo why you no dey talk na?" Ola noticed.

"Why you just dey quiet?" Ogbonta asked.

"Guy i no well! I get headache!"

"Which kin headache?" Nnamdi was medical.

"Na HIV headache!" Flo answered.

"HI................ Kini?" yelled Ola.

"HIV, e be like say i don get HIV oooh!" Flo announced.

"HIV! How? Who give you?" Nnamdi's mouth was ajar.

"I no know where i catch am oh!" Flo was sweating, "i no know weda na those girls for my uncle place abi na that Fu-fu girl give me"

"Fufu girl? Which fufu girl?" Ola asked.

"Fu-fu you sister na!" Flo answered, "she been tell me say she don carry HIV"

"You say what? My sister?" Ola yelled.

"Yes na! I slept with her without raincoat last week, and when she fell sick this week, she told me it was HIV"

"How did you know it is HIV" Nnamdi was not smiling at all.

"Because she told me so" At cases as this, It was preferred one spoke English; it less the stress.

"Yeeeeh! I don die oooh!" Nnandi announced, "that mean say me sef don catch am ooh"

"You! You slept with my sister?" Ola clinged his fist.

"I didn't slept with your sister oh! It is she that slept with me" what difference does it make.

While Ola was still swallowing that news telling himself not to fight Nnamdi and Flo, suddenly Ade rasied his right hands up sobbing.

"Wetin happen Ade? Why you dey cry?" Ogbonta queried.

"I dey cry because.......... Because me i waya Fu-fu yesterday night"

"So you sef don catch the disease?" Ogbonta was shocked.

Soon Ogbonta too was sobbing.

"You, why you dey cry?" Ola questioned.

"I no dey cry ooh! I dey smile" Ogbonta faked smile.

"Why tears com dey comot for you eye?" Ola queried.

"Na tears of joy!" Ogbonta said.

"Tears of joy abi?" Ola fired, "you sef don waya my sister abi?"

"No ooh! I just dey cry because if Ade don catch HIV, me sef don catch am through the inject......"

"Inject wetin?" Ola needed to know.

"Injection wey we dey take put Coco for our body" He and Ade has been sharing the same C'ocaine stringe since they returned from jail.



Silence fell for a while until Ola broke the silence and said, "so Funke my sister give all of una HIV abi?"

"Yes ooh, as she dey sick since three days now, infact she call me 30 minutes ago say she dey hospital wey she wan do HIV test" Flo said, "i know say the test go dey positive"

"Na your papa go dey HIV positive!" Ola thought of cutting himself with Funke's blade while cutting his toes four days ago.



"Oga Flo pick your phone na. Your phone dey ring" Nas the seemingly HIV free one informed Flo.

"Na Funke dey call" he announced.

"Ehhheeen! Put am for loud speaker make we hear" Nmamdi ordered.

"Hello......."

"Hello Flo love!" Funke giggled, "i dey for hospital now, i don do the test, and the doctor say i no dey HIV positive"



Silence instantly crippled every soul .

"You dey HIV wetin?" Flo could percieve his heart roasting.

"I say the doctor say i no dey HIV positive, i dey negative"

"Negative? You dey HIV negative" Blind Ade had regained sight.

"Aaaaaaaaas! Aaaasshh! Thank God ooooh" They didn't allow Funke to pass the information completely before shouting victory.

"Hello! Hello! Hello! But the doctor say i get belle" Funke continued speaking not minding the shout of joy from the other end, "but no be you get the belle"

WHO GIVE FUNKE BELLE?
Re: Na Man You Be by flow1759: 11:17pm On Nov 05, 2017
THE END

Say no to drugs!
Say no to kidnapping!
Say no to rape!
Have one s'ex patner! Becuase AIDS is real!

And Last but not the least:
Be real to your friends!

Becuase NA MAN YOU BE

1 Like

Re: Na Man You Be by HORLADSTAR(m): 12:42am On Nov 06, 2017
flow1759:
THE END

Say no to drugs!
Say no to kidnapping!
Say no to rape!
Have one s'ex patner! Becuase AIDS is real!

And Last but not the least:
Be real to your friends!

Becuase NA MAN YOU BE

IN EFE VOICE---

Flow flow mr 1759.
I don dey drink that brand since i was just 9.
I remember back then my guardian go tell me KAI.
That i am not yet a big GUY.
But i no dey concur cos guiness na my sure GUY.
Mr flow,I swear this ur story just dey thrill ME.
The tin dey make me high as if i drink henessy NI.
As i dey laugh one day i go fall inside GUTTER.
Sometime back,Na GOD save me i go jam in front TRAILER.
Now tell me who cause am na mr THRILLER.
Mr flow to say the truth i dey feel ur MELODY.
As u dey drop am d tin just flow like KEROSENE.
My high tension nigga,i dey ur back, no FEAR.
Any body wey wan try u, dem go just dey TEAR.

Flow baba shey make i no lie,u try no be small

2 Likes

Re: Na Man You Be by Tgold1(m): 9:00am On Nov 08, 2017
flow1759:
THE END
Say no to drugs! Say no to kidnapping! Say no to rape! Have one s'ex patner! Becuase AIDS is real!
And Last but not the least: Be real to your friends!
Becuase NA MAN YOU BE

Make I no lie oga flow1759 'NA MAN YOU BE'

still you flow, still you follow
Re: Na Man You Be by flow1759: 9:45pm On Nov 09, 2017
HORLADSTAR:


IN EFE VOICE---

Flow flow mr 1759.
I don dey drink that brand since i was just 9.
I remember back then my guardian go tell me KAI.
That i am not yet a big GUY.
But i no dey concur cos guiness na my sure GUY.
Mr flow,I swear this ur story just dey thrill ME.
The tin dey make me high as if i drink henessy NI.
As i dey laugh one day i go fall inside GUTTER.
Sometime back,Na GOD save me i go jam in front TRAILER.
Now tell me who cause am na mr THRILLER.
Mr flow to say the truth i dey feel ur MELODY.
As u dey drop am d tin just flow like KEROSENE.
My high tension nigga,i dey ur back, no FEAR.
Any body wey wan try u, dem go just dey TEAR.

Flow baba shey make i no lie,u try no be small

Na man you be jor
Re: Na Man You Be by Kirgyakos(m): 9:48pm On Jan 13
flow1759:



Sorry my dear fans. I have been busy.
ah! Senior man i postrate 4 u abeg...tuale baba.
Flow killing me slowly{bros flow d give me joy jareh, d make me maga wit laftah, always laughing like a mad man in my shop}.

I cut cap 4 d literary genius.
Keep flowing till thy kingdom kom.
Re: Na Man You Be by drippin007(m): 6:37am On Jan 17
Flow baba Sama me more episode make i use am they hold body small small na
More grease to your elbow

Order ALOMO and POPCORN make i they use am look front na

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