SmartMugu:


Thanks for your informative response.
1. I have been working around whatever worst case scenario she can come up with. I have funds stashed in Canada and Nigeria. Worst case scenario, I'm bouncing from the US to Canada. I've been there more than 30 time. Let them come and collect child-support and alimony there, I'll have a lawyer waiting to inform them of the laws in Canada.

2. Me and siblings were here, but they returned to Nigeria afterwards. Each have what they're doing. One ended up being a politician and the others own their own businesses in Nigeria. But they all come over to the US whenever they want.

3. I own a house in Nigeria already, I just don't live there for now. It's a 4 family flats, I have tenants there, and own the entire top floor. Since I'm not in Nigeria, my lil Sister stays there. Worst case scenario I'll just bounce back to Nigeria.

4. I work for a global consulting firm here, I already know from September this year, I'll be on projects in 3 countries in Europe and some in UAE. Let them come and take my money then, my direct deposits go to my Canadian bank accounts, I can withdraw it anywhere in the world.

5. I'm in the process of setting up accounts in Seychelles (A tax haven). That's beyond the US jurisdiction, they can't touch my funds.

Just watch, I'm playing mind games with the American system now. It's seriously flawed and only slow people will wait to be held at random over this. I married her in good faith, she switched on me and I'm supposed to deal with their consequences? Nah, that's never happening with me, I have good lawyers.

Daboomb:


Al'right Sir.
Forgive my wrong assumptions.
just trying to look out for a 'brother'

Daboomb:


There is a theory about "who we really are, in real life (our personality) , and the username we choose to be called, (when we are sure we are anonymous).
Some say it has a great connection with our personality in life! Is this true?


Strange, that he used the userhandle "Smart" and "Mugu" together!



A Smart person is always a Smart person, while a "Mugu" is always a "Mugu"
you wont be smart and be a Mug u at the same time...naaah!

Maybe it is just PROVIDENCE!


I beg, l am out of this thread.
Let it not look like we are taking Panadol for another person's headache when the owner of the head is not even feeling it kwa.

FortuneTeller:


Please take your ignorance elsewhere. Where did he say he married a white woman? What do you know about African American women? You've probably never stepped foot outside of Nigeria. Did you know a Nigerian woman killed her African American husband 4 days after she married him in hopes of getting an insurance policy? She didn't know the American system would catch her. Please go play in a bush and leave the chat to civilized adults.

You are playing 'mind games' with @SmartMugu, but that is no longer my business.

Reading your post, l hear you confess to being a crazy, insecure and cunningly wicked woman who runs her husband out of his house!
Why in hell will l want to engage an unstable lunatic like yourself?

Harrisee:


Chai
Savage
Mother of all bombs

Harrisee:


My dear, you're really blessed, 'cos God knows I can't put up with a woman like you. Your husband is really trying for you. I can't bring a crazy woman to my house (no offense meant). Just imagine the advice you're giving to the man, and all that. If he's going back to the woman, it should be because she wants him and she should grow up and apologize and make some promises otherwise he should mind his lane. She left him, packed his properties, cheated on him... Really, the reason we have less men in this world is because of evil women. So the man should tolerate and the woman shouldn't? If she can't humble herself and apologize, then she's not worth it. As for the kids, man stop getting emotional, one day those kids will grow up and will keep you in old people's home. And you can always find a better woman worth bearing your kids. Men should access the kind of vessels that carry their kids. You need peace not suicide. Yes, if she can't vocalize her repentance, its suicide. Move on. Kids will come around if they like. Don't kill yourself for them 'cos they probably forget you. Pay the alimony until she's fully repentant and committed to you, keeping her family off. Life's short! Make it count

PS: Even the bible says you should confess your sins out to obtain forgiveness

SmartMugu:

I appreciate you bro.

SmartMugu:


Thanks for your informative response.
1. I have been working around whatever worst case scenario she can come up with. I have funds stashed in Canada and Nigeria. Worst case scenario, I'm bouncing from the US to Canada. I've been there more than 30 times. Let them come and collect child-support and alimony there, I'll have a lawyer waiting to inform them of the laws in Canada.

2. Me and siblings were here, but they returned to Nigeria afterwards. Each have what they're doing. One ended up being a politician and the others own their own businesses in Nigeria. But they all come over to the US whenever they want.

3. I own a house in Nigeria already, I just don't live there for now. It's a 4 family flats, I have tenants there, and own the entire top floor. Since I'm not in Nigeria, my lil Sister stays there. Worst case scenario I'll just bounce back to Nigeria.

4. I work for a global consulting firm here, I already know from September this year, I'll be on projects in 3 countries in Europe and some in UAE. Let them come and take my money then, my direct deposits go to my Canadian bank accounts, I can withdraw it anywhere in the world.

5. I'm in the process of setting up accounts in Seychelles (A tax haven). That's beyond the US jurisdiction, they can't touch my funds.

Just watch, I'm playing mind games with the American system now. It's seriously flawed and only slow people will wait to be held at ransom over this. I married her in good faith, she switched on me and I'm supposed to deal with their legal consequences? There are ways around this type of stuff, thats what im about to do. Im an IT guy, all i need to make money is just a laptop and internet. I don't even go to any office, I work from home. She'll end up on the losing end if she brings all that around me. I can do whatever I do from wherever I want in the world as long as I have access to a computer. Sure she's not thinking in that line. Nah, that's never happening with me plus I have good lawyers in case anything turns out escalated.

Harrisee:


My dear, you're really blessed, 'cos God knows I can't put up with a woman like you. Your husband is really trying for you. I can't bring a crazy woman to my house (no offense meant). Just imagine the advice you're giving to the man, and all that. If he's going back to the woman, it should be because she wants him and she should grow up and apologize and make some promises otherwise he should mind his lane. She left him, packed his properties, cheated on him... Really, the reason we have less men in this world is because of evil women. So the man should tolerate and the woman shouldn't? If she can't humble herself and apologize, then she's not worth it. As for the kids, man stop getting emotional, one day those kids will grow up and will keep you in old people's home. And you can always find a better woman worth bearing your kids. Men should access the kind of vessels that carry their kids. You need peace not suicide. Yes, if she can't vocalize her repentance, its suicide. Move on. Kids will come around if they like. Don't kill yourself for them 'cos they probably forget you. Pay the alimony until she's fully repentant and committed to you, keeping her family off. Life's short! Make it count

PS: Even the bible says you should confess your sins out to obtain forgiveness

FortuneTeller:


First of all, the person and I are both in the US. He has no house, just as my husband has no house. We both own the house, unlike in Nigeria where women have to be fearful of being "thrown out of their husband's house". It's obvious the man loves his wife, so I gave him advice based on my situation. That is why God gave me my husband and God gave him his wife. Stop being a homewrecker and tend to your own affairs in Nigeria.

Harrisee:



My dear, I don't think you really understand what a home is. It is not just a house. After all what's a house to compare with his life and happiness.
Besides here in Nigeria, some men leave their houses for their wives just so that they can escape being killed by their evil attitude. Afterall , your kids will occupy the house with her. Dear, its not just about house, or even money. Its about peace. Everyman deserves that after a stressful day of hustle. I blame him shaa, 'cos she might have shown him the signs during courtship, but he ignored it.

Daboomb:


If you notice, l respond to any post on this issue, serially, top one first.
So, l just saw the above now...(and even other ones posted after it).

First, please stop using the word "brawl" in this context! A brawl is a FIGHT. Period.
Maybe you had a "heated argument" with the guy (though, that you went as far as drawing your weapon, makes it more than just a brawl! What would you have done if he did not pipe down? Your guess is as good as mine).

Any married woman that sleeps around or with another man apart from her husband is a hoe. Straight and simple.
Any married man that sleeps around or sleeps with another woman apart from his wife is a "male hoe".
Let is dispense the necessities and call a spade, a spade!

(but l actually was not referring to your wife, in my post, as the hoe). I guess you are getting overly defensive now
Read the post again.

I also notice that you are making loads of "excuses" for your wife's actions.
That is also typical but it is a "nice thing" to do. So 'Macho'!
I think at this stage, from what you wrote, l will place my bet on you taking her back.
I will also place my bet that if you will be honest with yourself in the future (you dont need to confess), you will regret that action, when the time comes.

Men are different.
Some are made of steel, others of bronze and others of wood. Some school of thought even say some are made of tissue paper!

I read you are planning a cruise with her also.
The vibe l get in all these is that you are desperate to 'make up', which is good in one sense but could also be bad in so many others.

That being the case, one must never cry more than the bereaved.
Whatever l have written before now, is meant for those "whose die are cast"... as in 'no going back'!
So, please IGNORE them, they have become irrelevant

I wish you goodluck, going forward.

SmartMugu:

I appreciate your comment. Thanks.
I've always been a truthful person all my life, I don't lie. I say things how they are and brace up for the consequences of my actions. I'm not a perfect person, like some of us reading this aren't either, but I don't hide anything from my spouse. I was a male-hoe when I met my wife. I had several women around me and she was just one of them. She even met some of them before.

As soon as me and her got serious, I left that life. I stopped talking to all the girls I was messing with and we started planning towards a family. She got pregnant with my son 7 years ago, so I became a family man. I never slept with any woman except her. We flew to Las Vegas for a small wedding and had our little home.

At some point, my job took me to Cleveland, Ohio. Her and our son were here in Atlanta, but we talked everyday after I'm done with work. My job then paid for my hotels in Ohio. All I did was just work, go back to my hotel room, talk to my family on the phone and went to sleep afterwards. I swear, that was my life back then, I never did anything else.

All of a sudden, she started accusing me about sleeping with other women in Ohio. I wasn't messing with anyone, but she kept saying that. She even called me one time after work and asked who was the lady's voice she just heard. That was the TV, it was some random person on TV I don't know. I turned of the TV and she ended up telling me I told the girl to keep quiet because of her. Within me, I knew she was wrong. I had never slept with anyone in Ohio back then, but she constantly accused me of sleeping with every girl in Ohio.

Next day, before I knew it she drove all the way from Atlanta to Cleveland Ohio where I live without telling me. I just came back from work and saw her and my son at the hotel reception. She just wanted to know if I was messing around or not.

When she returned to Atlanta, she still kept accessing me of cheating on her, which I never did through when me and her got serious.

At a point, I was like f.k it, I could as well start doing what she constantly accused me for. I didn't it, she accused me of doing it, I could as well do it and watch her accuse me of doing it. That's when I resumed messing with random women beyond her.

FortuneTeller:


Don't let these devils run you away from your wife and kids. They don't have half of the things you have and are trying to give you advice. You know your situation better than anyone else, but don't be a fool and lose your family over some people who likely haven't worked in years and live in a self contained room. Many of them are teens and in their 20's. They have never lived the life you have and likely never will. It's good that you have protected yourself, but also think of your children. Your wife wants to come home. Please let her come and stop this foolishness. You never know. I could be in the house with your wife right now, eating Oreos, trying to appeal on her behalf.

FortuneTeller:


I'm frowning at you. But seriously your wife and I are too much alike. Remember we can't help acting crazy. It's just the way we are.

SmartMugu:


Thanks bro for the advice. My wife is actually a great person regardless of our cultural differences. She just suddenly changed. I'm sure we can fix that, I can't imagine starting all over with a random woman I know nothing about. I just need her to get back to her senses. She forgave me for my past actions, I'll forgive her for whatever she did too. But the problem now is she's impossible to talk to. 80% of our phone conversations end up in an argument. I don't like arguments, she knows that about me but that's exactly what happens now.

I'm praying over it though, the wife I married is different from the wife I have now. I guess that's probably my destiny on marriage. Life goes on anyways.

FortuneTeller:


I get like that as well. I really think it's insecurity. Well I don't know if it will work on your wife, but don't talk to her every day. Talk to your kids and when she wants to to talk, keep it very short and say you have to go. The minute she starts arguing with you, say goodbye and hang up immediately. She's going to shout and try to keep you from talking to your kids for a few days, but hold tight and wait. The reason I know this works is because whenever my husband is away and he stops calling me, I get chest pain. The next thing you know, I'm calling him and being nice. I don't like him being quiet because I don't know what he is thinking. Is he upset with me? Is he tired of my craziness? Does he have someone else? All kinds of thoughts run through my head. So when he stops talking to me, I calm down and relax my mind. The worse thing you can do when you visit her, is to argue with. I'm telling you all the arguing just winds us up for more arguing. The best thing you can do is sit there quietly while she carries on and wait for her to finish. At that point, tell her you love her, you love your children and you want her to come home. Tell her But if she doesn't want to come home, let you know before you to back to Atlanta. Take her out to eat and right before you leave, drop her a stack of money. When you get back to Atlanta, do not answer your phone for a few days. Trust me. She is going to blow up your phone and text you to come and get her and the kids.

SmartMugu:

Thanks again for the kind words. As per money, I take care of that, I've always done that regardless of if we are together or not. I just did earlier this morning via Google wallet when she called about what the kids need. I believe it's my responsibility as a dad and have no reason to deprive my kids and her of what they need.

On the argument piece of her, God knows 100 angels can't sit me down to listen to an angument. I'll just walk away when things get argumentative. I hate being around arguments like crazy, I just walk away.

My wife hated that piece of me. When she wants to start an argument, I just grab my car keys and leave without saying nothing back. That upsets her, so I never had to hit her whenever she starts that madness. She got smarter and started hiding my car keys from me before she starts an argument, but she forgot I had spare keys for both of my cars. I'd just run to which ever one to avoid her wahala. Just getting away sometimes hurt her more that hitting her, that's what I do, I never hit her before,I just drive off and go anywhere, that hurts her more because she wants to argue and I dont.

Splinz:


Like I did say in that thread, it depends on your relationship "status"- defined or undefined. Why are you in the relationship; for lust, love, friendship/companionship, marriage, etc? Also, what are the agreement/rules?

For instance, we're in love. An naturally as it always tend to lead, we promised to remain true to our love by being faithful to each other. And next on the line as it is common, we're planning marriage. But before I knew it, you woke up one morning and said, "I'm sorry, I can't continue in this relationship anymore", just like that.

What!??

Yes, truth is, you've broken our agreement & trust. In our internal court of justice, you've "used & dumped" me! And no matter the rational behind your decision, I'd naturally feel "used"!

NOTE: This is what I think of this topic. It does not applies to me, just an example.

FortuneTeller:


I'm frowning at you. But seriously your wife and I are too much alike. Remember we can't help acting crazy. It's just the way we are.

Maduawuchukwu:


Has your wife apologised for her past behaviour or shown that she is sorry? Is Alimony threats the way a woman who wants to turn a new life behaves?
How sure are you that her parents won't interfere unnecessarily in ur home again?
These are the questions that should be on determine whether you guys will reunite on not and not all the bull that fortune teller is telling you. Are u reuniting to begin same suffering again? Is that what family life is all about?
Also ignore any advice coming from that fortune teller female. She has justified your wife's parents behaviour, she has justified your wife's troubling insecurities, she even justifies her violent habits. She is clearly not fit to advise you as she does not care for your own probs. Living with a woman with massive insecurities is very dangerous: See what happened to that Ibadan man who was killed by his wife because she was jealous of the man's baby mama. Mind you, the guy was always calm and going back to his wife like you.

Maduawuchukwu:


Has your wife apologised for her past behaviour or shown that she is sorry? Is Alimony threats the way a woman who wants to turn a new life behaves?
How sure are you that her parents won't interfere unnecessarily in ur home again?
These are the questions that should be on determine whether you guys will reunite on not and not all the bull that fortune teller is telling you. Are u reuniting to begin same suffering again? Is that what family life is all about?
Also ignore any advice coming from that fortune teller female. She has justified your wife's parents behaviour, she has justified your wife's troubling insecurities, she even justifies her violent habits. She is clearly not fit to advise you as she does not care for your own probs. Living with a woman with massive insecurities is very dangerous: See what happened to that Ibadan man who was killed by his wife because she was jealous of the man's baby mama. Mind you, the guy was always calm and going back to his wife like you.

SmartMugu:


Actually, my wife actually came back and apologized for her actions, I apologized for mine too. She said she didn't want to lose her family, I didn't want to either. She was my best friend, she knows everything about me. We kissed, hugged, and spent the night together with the kids in their room.

What happened afterwards? Next day she woke up, made a few calls and went back to her crazy mode. May be someone she told about us working on getting back together gave her a different advice. How could someone that just came to make up yesterday suddenly want to break up tomorrow? It's like she really doesn't have a mind of her own. People around her direct her and tell her what to do. Her friends and her parents.

But for me, I've been freely making my own decisions for over 25 years now. My mom doesn't interfere in my marriage, neither do my siblings. I don't interfere in their marriages either. So I had a problem with her mom showing up at my house controlling how she wants things done. I have a mom too, but she's not as petty as hers is. My mom rather supports us in prayers, rather her mom wants trouble, but I already know how to handle their type when it gets to it.

Smart people do what they need to do, to get where or what they need to get.

But you just dont/cant figure it out.

Your wife is not crazy as you admit but she is way-smarter than you are!

SmartMugu:


Actually, my wife actually came back and apologized for her actions, I apologized for mine too. She said she didn't want to lose her family, I didn't want to either. She was my best friend, she knows everything about me. We kissed, hugged, and spent the night together with the kids in their room.

What happened afterwards? Next day she woke up, made a few calls and went back to her crazy mode. May be someone she told about us working on getting back together gave her a different advice. How could someone that just came to make up yesterday suddenly want to break up tomorrow? It's like she really doesn't have a mind of her own. People around her direct her and tell her what to do. Her friends and her parents.

But for me, I've been freely making my own decisions for over 25 years now. My mom doesn't interfere in my marriage, neither do my siblings. I don't interfere in their marriages either. So I had a problem with her mom showing up at my house controlling how she wants things done. I have a mom too, but she's not as petty as hers is. My mom rather supports us in prayers, rather her mom wants trouble, but I already know how to handle their type when it gets to it.

FortuneTeller:


He has been married 11 years. Do you think all your days are going to be happy with your wife? Unless you are a dictator and your wife is a slave, you will have ups and downs. He isn't innocent but what I like is that he has a very balanced opinion about his faults as well as hers. It's easy to throw everything away when you don't care about someone, but I see clearly that he and his wife care about each other. Stop shouting nonsense trying to break up someone's home. You should be encouraging him to reconcile his family, instead of falling into the devil's trap of a broken home. You want to spoil the future for his children, but don't think about what will happen in your own home. Running away may cause his children to go down the wrong path and drive his wife into desperation. So please stop advocating wickedness and let this man mend his family.

Maduawuchukwu:


The last thing that should be on your mind is reuniting with your wife. Maintain that distance because if u guys come back you are merely resuming your issues. The same issues that caused her stealing from you are still there and someone is talking of reuniting. This is no fairytale movie where all ends well. This is reality man.

SmartMugu:

I was thinking that's what I need to do, but it's hard. We have two beautiful kids together. They need both of us. It's hard, I swear, but if I have to do it, I'll just do it and move on with life.

SmartMugu:

I was thinking that's what I need to do, but it's hard. We have two beautiful kids together. They need both of us. It's hard, I swear, but if I have to do it, I'll just do it and move on with life.

SmartMugu:

I was thinking that's what I need to do, but it's hard. We have two beautiful kids together. They need both of us. It's hard, I swear, but if I have to do it, I'll just do it and move on with life.

SmartMugu:

I was thinking that's what I need to do, but it's hard. We have two beautiful kids together. They need both of us. It's hard, I swear, but if I have to do it, I'll just do it and move on with life.