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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. (41954 Views)
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Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Dranoid: 11:56am On Sep 23, 2017 |
Didn't the killer put a cannister of the butane whatever beside those guys? I thought it was meant to knock you out cold? So how could Kevin and wynter and the rita girl still struggle? Even if it wasn't immediate it should have weakened them, then finally why wasn't the killer weakened from the gas? |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Deeejah(f): 2:39pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
Thanks for d update. If the killer keeps getting away wt his crimes while Kevin stays helpless, then ur beautiful story will lose its shine. I tot Kevin would be careful after his encounter with the killer that night, but it seems he is just going about like everything is under control. And how is it possible that despite all d distractions they killer had in the room, Kevin cldnt get to him especially with his karate skills? Kevin falling to a kick in d stomach is an insult to his fighting skill, and he just stayed on d floor till the killer returned for him? What happened to his survival instincts? Your story started well, don't ruin it by giving too much power to the killer. |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Chommieblaq(f): 2:51pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
Dranoid: The killer entered through apartment 11, their kelvin is in apartment 12. It's the couple in apartment 11, that he killed with the gas stuff. The storyline is greatly flawed tho |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by peddyman(m): 4:02pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
dis story is becoming sometin else.. D story making out as if kelvin knows about the killer or perhaps he has some connection with d killer... |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by itsandi(m): 4:31pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by bakeuhappy: 6:24pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
@peddyman,@chiommeeblaq,@Deeejah,@Dranoid,@PoliticalThuG,@Hantonia,@MichaelBlake40, @Lordshola,@MrRichie,@queenitee@ironprocs,@Honeydawealth,@donkelz,@xaviercasmir EPISODE 23 Kevin was awakend by the heavy sounds of footsteps around him. He opened his eyes and saw uniformed men all around him. ' what is this? ' he asked himself. Then the gory memory of how Wynter had died came flushing back . One of the uniformed man, came to his side and he recognised the man as Inspector Daniel . ' are you alright,? The inspector asked as he knelt down beside Kevin whom was still lying on the ground his hands tied.He freed the corded rope from kevin's hand and helped him up. Kevin's senses was reeling. His mind was groggy and he seemed to be in a delusional state. He looked at the inspector eyes and said " he killed Wynter. The idiot killed her and her friend too. " Inspector Daniel grimaced " Kevin, have seen their body and I must say it's a terrible for someone to die in such a way " There was uproar in the apartment now, as the forensic s boy began to mill in and out of the room, looking for blood samples and finger prints. The inspector's men ; Smith and Rogue were also in the room watching inspector Daniel intently. Inspector Daniel turned his face to them " Smith, Rogue. Please I want you to to go outside and stay there. any thing unusual, please let me know" The men nodded and dispersed. Kevin looked at the inspector " but why, inspector. I don't remember ever hurting anybody even my business partners. I just don't get it. Why is this man after my life. " " do you want my opinion ? " inspector Daniel asked levelling his eyes with Kevin. " yes " Kevin said, thinking : " what does he want to say this time ' . " I think you are one selfish guy" inspector Daniel said gravely. " what ? . Kevin asked the groginess in eyes have gone now, to be replaced with a angry look. " you heard me right Mr kelvin. You are the cause of the death of all this women" inspector Daniel said. Kevin was livid now. " inspector you can call me anything. But am not a killer. I never killed this women. We are all having fun that's all. I love Wynter. Talking about her name right now hurts me more than anything. But inspector, she is dead. That is the reality. And all I want from you is to help me find that man, whom has turned himself to a killer machine" Inspector Daniel shrugged and said " let me tell you something. You could have prevented the death of some of them " " how ? " Kevin asked bewildered. " by keeping away from women ofcourse ." inspector Daniel replied. " we the police we are working efficiently to catch this man. But I must admit, the man is elusive. He is a hard nut to crack. He seems to be everywhere and yet no where, and to make matter worse, you whom suppose to keep a low profile, keeps on having an affair with lots of women, and this women ironically , ends up dying immediately you come in contact with them" Kevin snickered and said " inspector, you must be joking. Are you saying, because a psycho is running around killing every women in my life I should now keep a low profile. That 's sick. Am a man with a normal sex drive. Even though am affected by the deaths of this women, I surely know it will end somehow. The killer will soon get tired of killing" Inspector Daniel grimaced. He was getting no where in his argument with Kelvin." I don't seem to understand you Mr kelvin. This women are dying, and yet you are talking about your libido. It shows how human you are" the inspector said cynically. " look who is talking, where we're you, when I clubbered ,that psycho ? " kelvin asked, facing the inspector now. " clubbered,? what do you mean ? Inspector Daniel asked, thinking maybe the death of Wynter is already taking its toll on kevin. " I meant I beat the idiot up. That night when Debbie died, after you left, the killer came back. " Kevin said. " what? Inspector Daniel said, suprised. " yeah, that's what I said. I beat the psycho up, knock his fucking eyes straight. Then I called your number, but you never picked the call. Inspector, I called you but you never picked, why is that? Kevin demanded. A triumphant look had settled on his face as, he stood facing the inspector. Inspector Daniel nodded. " you are right Mr Kevin. I could not picked the call, cause my house was bugged " " bugged? What do you mean bugged? Kevin's asked, as he arch an eyebrow. " the killer is keeping tab on all my conversations with you, Mr kelvin. I don't know how he got to my house. He has been threatening me for weeks now. " the inspector said, bringing out a pack of letters from his hip pocket. Kevin was shocked. He collected the letter from the inspector and said " I don't understand. Why is he interested in you, inspector? " I don't know. Obviously he was pissed with the fact that I was helping you to catch him. The night Debbie died. After I left here with my boys. I drove home straight and I slept off. Next morning, I was doing some home cleaning, when I noticed that one of the ceiling sheets had been removed. I know it was our killer who did it. But I never knew what he was up to. I began to to do a thorough search sweep, of the house, till I later came across a bugging device behind a Wall frame in my room. I wanted to call you , after seeing your missed call, but later changed my mind . I don't do things that way. I was lucky to find that bugging device. I can't risk the killer sneaking up on me again. Ever since then, is letter has been pouring, warning me to keep off the case. I wanted to carry out a test on my own about this case. Something which had been bothering my mind. I waited patiently,for the killer to strike again and now he just did exactly what I wanted him to do". Kevin looked non plussed " I still don't understand, what you are saying inspector" Inspector Daniel grimaced and said " I will explain better. I have my own theory about who this killer is and what he really wants. Is either he is after you,or after the women. . But I don't think he is after the women. It is you, he is after Secondly, the killer wants to punish you, obviously for something which we can assumed you Mr kelvin do not know of, till the end of this case. After I found out that my house had been bugged, I decided not to call you, so as not to arose the killer suspicion. But my boys were tailing your movements Mr Kelvin. Your little charade with miss Wynter, am aware of all of it. Indirectly, she was the bait I was looking for, to initiate my plan in catching the killer. And now, there is no need in finding his identity as a result of his elusiveness. What we will do is to wait and let him strike again this time we will get him. But first Mr kelvin I have some questions for you ; since you claimed to have beaten the killer the night of Debbie death, why didn't you fight him, when he attacked you and Wynter? Kevin face was became paled all of a sudden ,he then replied weakly, " I could not inspector, I could not. The sight of him suddenly, inside the room was too shocking. It brought back every memories of the girls have dated. I could not believe he could be standing right in front of me with Wynter and the other woman beside me. It was a bad experience. If it was me alone I could have faced him, but with Wynter beside me, I let my guard down, and that simple mistake killed her. Please, inspector am not as heartless as you think, is just everything was just too fast. All we heard was the ceiling crashing down, and before we could do anything, he was there. Standing right there , facing us. " Inspector Daniel nodded " I understand you Mr kelvin. But just for your information, the married couple in room " 11" are dead. " what couple, I don't understand inspector. What couple are you talking about ? Kevin asked, looking at the inspector intently. " the couple living beside Wynters room." the inspector said. " what have they got to do with this? Kevin asked, not comprehending what the inspector was saying. " I will explain Mr kevin. Our killer is a theatrical man. Someone who likes showing off, letting you know how brilliant he is in Orchestrating evil plans He does not kill for pleasure alone. He kills because it is fun for me. Killing to him is like a God given talent. And for that reason, he does not kill a person using simple ways. He will devise something, something un imaginable. And then execute it. Kevin nodded, engrossed in what the inspector was saying. " like I said, I wanted to test him, using the bugging experience of my house and now I can say lengthy things about him. But first let me explain how he entered Wynters room. Wynter room is room" 12 ", the married couple room is "11". The killer entered the room " 11". how he got in, I don't know cause their was no finger prints in that room . Forensic could not come up with anything. The simple answer for that ; he was wearing gloves. Next, he placed a canister of sleeping vapour beside the couples. Reason for that is simple : so that they won't wake up in case they hear any noise in their room . But he miscalculated. The vapour was too much for thier breathing. The vapour killed them. Then he broke one of the ceiling , it was there he passed to get to room '12', which is Wynter room. And funniest enough ,he seems to know his ways around any ceiling he enters, for him to be able to locate the ceiling which leads to Wynters room. I think he has the building plans of the house and also he seems to know his way around every house he enters, this shows that our killer is either an architect or house builder. " but why all the trouble, can't he just enter room '12' and do what ever he wants to do, instead of entering another people's ceiling and in the process killing them ? Kevin asked, thinking what a psycho the killer was ? Inspector Daniel shrugged and said " to you, it is unnecessary. But to the killer It is important. It adds more to his character. he could have done that, I mean entering Wynter's room directly, but I think that will be too easy for him. He wants something challenging, something invigorating, something that will catch his victims unaware. something that will shock them to their marrows, making them to wonder " how did he do it? Kevin nodded and said " I guess he is that smart ehn...? " Inspector Daniel " yeah, that he is. Ballistics will run a check on the bullet recovered from Rita body and see if it matches that of Jessica's. But I doubt if anything will come out of it. But don't worry Kevin. We will get him this time. I have a plan. Kevin nodded and asked " what plan inspector "? Inspector Daniel smiled and said " a plan. Just a simple little plan. listen attentively. All you have to do is this." ****************************************************** END OF BOOK ONE. WATCH OUT FOR BOOK TWO OF " NO MORE PLEASURE FOR DEAD GIRLS ". BIG THANKS TO MY FANS MOST ESPECIALLY " BAKE U HAPPY" FOR HELPING OUT IN UPDATING THIS PIECE OF WORK. THANKS SO MUCH. GOD BLESS. . 7 Likes |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by bakeuhappy: 6:26pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
@Mancrimes I really do appreciate.. thank you too |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Deeejah(f): 6:50pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
Thanx for d mention and update. This update has really put me at ease because I was scared the killer was smarter than all of them. Can't wait for the hide and seek that will take place in the second part . I want to point out an error, pls. It is God-given talent, not God-giving. Must av been an oversight because u write well. Thank you once again as we await book two. Pls don't keep us waiting for too long cos I am allergic to suspense Cheers |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Honeydawealth(f): 9:02pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
Wow! What a wonderful story... Mancrimes u've done well! Patiently waiting for book 2. |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Dranoid: 9:04pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
Chommieblaq:Ohh, ok, guess I mixed up some parts |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Dranoid: 9:05pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
This book although flawed is amazing, can't wait for the book 2.
Thanks for the mention tho |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by ironprocs(m): 9:19pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
This is better |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by MrRichy(m): 9:22pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
when is book two coming out ? can't wait.. aunty bakeuhappy Holla me when book two is out biko... its MrRichy and not Richie thank you 1 Like |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by queenitee(f): 9:53pm On Sep 23, 2017 |
OMG, I can't wait for book 2. Thanks for the mention |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Nobody: 6:48am On Sep 24, 2017 |
Interesting story, weldone mancrimes |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by bakeuhappy: 8:22am On Sep 24, 2017 |
MrRichy:I'm so sorry about the mistake sir.thanks for pointing out 1 Like |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by bakeuhappy: 8:25am On Sep 24, 2017 |
Deeejah:. On behalf of the author@Mancrimes I say thanks for pointing out. I have done the correction 1 Like |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Kimkardashain(f): 8:32am On Sep 24, 2017 |
Wow. such a horror story. |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Deeejah(f): 11:00am On Sep 24, 2017 |
bakeuhappy: U r welcome 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by kceewhyte(m): 12:09pm On Sep 24, 2017 |
bakeuhappy:you are cool 2 Likes |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by donkelz(m): 10:45pm On Sep 24, 2017 |
queenitee:The guy too dumb 4 my liking |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by queenitee(f): 11:24am On Sep 25, 2017 |
donkelz:Exactly |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by smileing: 4:56pm On Sep 25, 2017 |
princ007: Lol no this one has upgraded o he now wears Aba made This killer is something else maybe a sibling to the okrika devil |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by lollylove05(f): 6:48pm On Sep 25, 2017 |
The story is interesting 1 Like |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by bakeuhappy: 5:41pm On Sep 27, 2017 |
smileing:lol |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by tzminaj(f): 11:45pm On Sep 27, 2017 |
Lol I dey tell u |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by smileing: 12:04am On Sep 28, 2017 |
Mancrimes you ve got a nice storyline My piece for you Give room for details, increase suspense and make the characters especially the killer more sophisticated. Your story can be predicted easily. for instance, you revealed the killer and left us not guessing and again when kelvin was surmoned, why wasn't he accused since he had something to do with the victims since the killing act is under investigation (you would have developed and detailed much from here).the last killing scene wasn't thrilling for me though coupled with the reason that inspector Daniel gave.how did the killer follow the inspector up? Details lacking! Let me stop here But truely, nice story You owe me a mention when you start the second part 1 Like |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Hantonia(f): 8:22am On Sep 28, 2017 |
ManCrimes Awaitin Part 2 |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by EmpressDia(f): 6:27pm On Sep 28, 2017 |
Nice story |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Oma24(f): 10:54pm On Oct 28, 2017 |
ManCrimes: |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by Gmekx(m): 10:55am On Oct 31, 2017 |
ManCrimes: Divested. Nice story |
Re: "No Pleasure For Dead Girls" A Story By Mancrimes.. by chiexcel: 9:53am On Nov 09, 2017 |
Nice story...patiently watin 4 book 2 plsssss dont keep us watin |
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