Missy B:

These are just as important as his Pocket.

Well, I don't have a problem with getting married to a man who earns less than I do.
Just get Your a$$ to work and bring money home, that's all I ask. [size=5pt]One of the things I ask[/size].

I don't think ANY man with a single brain cell would want to nurse the feeling of getting married WITHOUT having a job. Hey! to some ladies here, having a job is not enough but his pay cheque. I don't mind marrying a jobless woman IF we are inlove but i wouldn't marry a woman with list of materia things i must have cos when those materia things are gone she goes. Women like that don't think beyond handbags, shoes, cloths and how to outshine other married couples.

justwise:

I don't think ANY man with a single brain cell would want to nurse the feeling of getting married WITHOUT having a job. Hey! to some ladies here, having a job is not enough but his pay cheque. I don't mind marrying a jobless woman IF we are inlove but i wouldn't marry a woman with list of materia things i must have cos when those materia things are gone she goes. Women like that don't think beyond handbags, shoes, cloths and how to outshine other married couples.

justwise:


Now back to the topic. My problem with some of u claming that u can't marry somebody who makes less than u do is this: Marriage is not ONLY about money money and money. Every job pays different salaries and different pay pacages, maybe his take home salary is less than that of his wife but other insentives like car, house, medical insurance may add more value than the wife's take home salary.

Marrying a man's pay cheque and not his personality or looks is just pure shallow. What happens when the money is not there? U jump to another fat cat? What happens to caring, understanding and love? This is why divorce rates are going up, cos pple marry for wrong reasons.

Am with you 100% What people dont know is that money has wings. It can fly away anytime.

ifedy:


Am with you 100% What people dont know is that money has wings. It can fly away anytime.

Oh! thank God u are one of those who can see beyond figures

Some of you are talking at cross-purposes, the fact that some of you ask a question without checking the reply well makes me wonder about your cognitive skills.  

Some of you were all over the place - please explain to me how a "jobless" man could afford to marry.  Borrow from family?  Get himself into debt to impress a woman?  That is just silly.  As for a man earning more, what's the advantage?  So if he takes a lower paying job you'll divorce him?  Finance does not equate to respect, unless a person worships money, which it seems some men and women here are guilty of.

Guys like bawolomo, Siena and axeman85 have basically said it all for the (sensible) male perspective.  There is a difference between a lazy jobless man, and a man with potential and character but with no job.

Likewise, The Amaka, ThoniaSlim and rotiaku also make valid points from the (also sensible) female perspective; some kind of income, no matter how small, is a contribution, but a man should postpone marriage when he is jobless.

Note that the majority of women who responded did NOT say they wanted a millionaire or loaded guy.  Yet some of you guys fly with the wind that they are looking for rich men.  There are some women out there who are money-hungry, but not all Nigerian women fall into that category, any more than presuming that all Nigerian men are unfaithful.  Both are untrue and cheap shots.

Some people have been in relationships for a while where the man has graduated and is jobless, that is different to meeting someone new who is jobless.  Likewise, there's a difference between losing a job after marriage and having none before marriage.  

It is better to marry someone who is sensible with good character and potential than someone unscrupulous with money.  No one should underestimate a jobless man, but one should be able to differentiate jobless liberty takers versus a jobless man for whom it is only a temporary condition. Love isn't blind.

;d

please is this case for nigeria alone or other countries as well?, most people here don't understand the the unemployment situation in nigeria,and for the ladies i read all your replies, but don't you think its subject to the understanding of the people in love, there r also a marriage with all the basic comfort but no peace, lol. you should know your partner, is he\she lazy,violet ,unreasonable etc.

justwise:

Oh! thank God u are one of those who can see beyond figures

I see within and beyond figures

ifedy:

I see within and beyond figures

Very rare quality then .

justwise:

Very rare quality then .

thank you

I don't think i can marry a jobless man, probably except if he loses his job very close to the wedding. i won't put wedding preparations on hold but i would seriously encourage and help him to find a new job. this doesn't mean i can't love a jobless man, i can. i just think there should be financial stability before we even start discussing marriage. i cannot break up with a guy just because he lost his job, or because he isn't rich (afterall i should have noticed that before i started dating him). what would make me break up with a jobless man is laziness, inability to keep jobs, or some other negative attitude that he refuses to seek help for.

4teelaw:

yes, i will marry him over and over again!!! if he has d right character, the right attitude towards life and has great ideas! if i am the one making the money, what happened to having a business together after marriage? abeg, as long as we love each other and mutually respect each other, and he does not see any problem with me making all the money, i dont mind.
i have a friend that her husband lost his job(dat makes him jobless abi?), he's up at 5am before her, arranges d kids for school, drops them off, comes home and arranges for their arrival, uses his spare time to job hunt and is the sweetest man ever, he eventually got a job, and is about to drop it cause the kids are suffering. (she's a banker). so whats wrong with that. they've finally agreed that a business for him to run will be the best decision to avail him time take care of the family cos she's d one with the better pay!

the major issue is male chauvinism, can he take up d role of a woman when he is jobless? or just be a plain bas, tard, like i said, the right attitude

they were already married, it'll be cruel to divorce a man just because he lost his job. besides the man was keeping busy and actively searching for a job; that's the good kind of jobless man. some jobless men wake up by 11a.m., and all they do is eat, read newspapers and watch tv.

well

everyone is different is all i can say

i can see from some of ur views- esp when its not possible for the man to afford a lavish lifestyle

but remember there is a woman for everyman- some women will marry a jobless man

some wont- it depends

marriage is not all abt money- money only depends on the lifestyle

speakin for myself my husband MUST have money- cos of my lifestyle! its simple

he MUST earn more than me- cos i believe its shameful if he doesnt

he MUST be hardworking- its plain plain!

@Siena

What about if the girl in question is the jobless type too? what if the girl doesn't work?

Your subsequent responses made nonsense of your advice.
No man is beneath a lady, especially whom he want to marry.
Even your younger brother is not beneath you.

However, I think most of the ladies miss out the difference between being lazy
and jobless status. Even if you have a job but you are lazy, you will still not do your duty
I can stand a jobless status man, but I have great discontent for a lazy-bone.

I know of a man who married his wife in his jobless status.
All his friends and family were against his decision.
A relative who sponsored the wedding did it grudginly.
Today, this same man gave out 12 cars as gift during last year christmas.
Chief Alex Akinyele, former infromation minister married his wife, Yvonne when he was jobless,
till she died, everyone know he adore her.
Love is far above having job or being jobless.
Choice of partner is beyond the jobless status of the persons involved.
Lastly, the people interviewed in this post lives a larger than life kind of live
embedded in deceit and make-believe.
So beware when ou take advise from them or follow their footstep

You can give excuses and examples from here till Kafanchan
Will you wish a jobless man on your daughter?
I'm pretty sure your answer is NO
so why all these too much talking.
If you have no job,as in no source of livelihood,you have no business getting married to anybody's child
ho ha!

seriously lollon at kanfanchan!!!!

what this really sounds like is advice to men to do what they can to limit their wive's aspirations in order to preserve their marriages

i know of a family friend in the us - who hustled as taxi cab driver etal to put his wife through nursing school. the moment the women started bring home more money than him, she started flipping the script

as an American you should know that a man being  hard working does not necessarily mean his wife won't wind up earning more than him.  guys who married computer geek chicks who went on to work for google in its infancy come to mind

i think in the end, most nigerian women, like Nigerian men, marry more out of convenience/condition than love. thats why when men hit money na second wife, and if women hit money, its to begin treating the husband like a doormat  

Oyb, I already know you were a good catch before Muniat found you
If you were running around with a "flat office file" and came her way with a marriage proposal,you think she would have looked your way?
Please tell these young men here the truth i.e get a job, before thinking of marriage
You are a father,how easy is it financially to take care of a wife and little kids?
tell them it's not like drinking pure water
It requires money,a lot of money too.

honeric01:

@Siena

What about if the girl in question is the jobless type too? what if the girl doesn't work?

This is about a jobless man,don't change the topic
No woman is ever jobless
some work at home, most work outside and also at home

I have imagined how my life would have been like if I were uneducated and I have told myself that I would have targetted a rich man
If God blessed me with beauty but I came from poor parents that couldn't send me to school,maka Chukwu there's nothing that would make me settle for a poor hungry man
Even if it were an uneducated trader,it must be a rich one that can cater for my needs
ah ah
Is it not someone that'll marry the rich men, why not me

That's why I can't understand why my beautiful cousin dropped out of secondary school  ran  off and  married this man that sold stickers
Stoopid girl !!
didn't she see men with their own sheds or several sheds in main market
why one that treks round the whole Onitsha selling signs that read "God is good" or "Osondi Owendi"
Her mother cried and cried ,I'm sure what pained her more wasn't Nwanneka getting pregnant and dropping out of school but the man she ran to.

How can a girl lose both ways like that
Education,she doesn't have
and on top of that she's drinking garri morning noon and night
Tufiakwa
If one must eat a frog,you kuku eat a juicy one abeg

A man who does not have a job, I wonder how he will propose to a woman and a Naija woman for that matter,

Its not proper and i dont think any man would be proud to do such ( there are always exceptions to the rule. Some ladies might just want to go head long for the guy )

why would a chick marry a jobless guy?
Even if im jobless I can NEVER ask a babe to marry me.

Now the real men are talking

A man who currently does not have a job? Does not mean he will not have a job in the future, I believe I would, but I'd need to see certain qualities within this man, for starters, he'd need be hardworking and have potential, there are many circumstances to consider

0hsisi:

This is about a jobless man,don't change the topic
No woman is ever jobless
some work at home, most work outside and also at home

Abeg, stop jumping around, you didn't know what we were discussing together before you flew in. let the right person respond to my post, thanks.

honeric01:

Abeg, stop jumping around, you didn't know what we were discussing together before you flew in. let the right person respond to my post, thanks.

This is a public forum
anyone can  read or answer any questions posed, if you are not comfy with that,send it as an email message

ibkaye:

A man who currently does not have a job? Does not mean he will not have a job in the future, I believe I would, but I'd need to see certain qualities within this man, for starters, he'd need be hardworking and have potential, there are many circumstances to consider

HIGH FIVE

0hsisi:

This is a public forum
anyone can  read or answer any questions posed, if you are not comfy with that,send it as an email message  

Yea i know and i apologize if i sounded too harsh with my response, sienna and i were kinda talking about this issue but in another angle, that's why i was expecting him to respond (hence the quoting of his id). be at peace ok?

ifedy:

HIGH FIVE

woot woot

ibkaye:

A man who currently does not have a job? Does not mean he will not have a job in the future, I believe I would, but I'd need to see certain qualities within this man, for starters, he'd need be hardworking and have potential, there are many circumstances to consider

Which jobless man is confusing my dear sister?
Ib just say No
you will sponsor your own wedding,buy your own engagement and wedding rings?

^^ my dear

not every woman is the same

some women dont mind doin those things

so leave them to that!

some men need it

because you love me

Rolling my eyes @ love.

0hsisi:


Which jobless man is confusing my dear sister?
Ib just say No
you will sponsor your own wedding,buy your own engagement and wedding rings?

What's life without a few risks? Besides, I love him, and as corny as that sounds, think about it this way, what if he doesn't get a job in ages? You won't get married to him? Ever? Life is filled with so many 'what ifs'. Or maybe it's just me, is it just me?

Ok, so that's my lazy way of of answering your question, I have like a hundred more things to say running through my mind but I can't be bothered to write them down