^ Well, it depends on what plans both of you have when you do get married. Do you want children? If so, how many?, etc.
I don't see how realistic it is for him not to work if you plan on building a family. Like, why wouldn't he get a job in the first place? But then, his education level would be put into consideration. This is why I get the intellectual thing Chika was talking about.

Obviously, if he's up there intellectually, studied something that actually worths something, then he should get a job. If he has no education to begin with, then that's the problem. I don't think I'd even get to that level with someone with no higher education to begin with. So, yea the question of why he's jobless is important.

It just doesn't make sense trying to build a family. . .when you're jobless. And this isn't just for the guy because I personally do not plan on being a housewife so obviously, I'm not holding him to any standards I don't have myself. It's that simple.

*also rolls eyes at love*

please stop rolling your eyeses about love.

i'm allowed

chiogo:

^ Well, it depends on what plans both of you have when you do get married. Do you want children? If so, how many?, etc.

We'll both plan out our lives as it would be really silly if we didn't, the fact that he didn't have a job when we got married does not neccesarily mean he will not find one in the future, just that we will need to work hard for it, very hard. I for one want children, he will also want children because I will not marry anyone who does not want children, I wouldn't think it wise of us to have children until we find decent jobs to support both ourselves and them with.

chiogo:

I don't see how realistic it is for him not to work if you plan on building a family. Like, why wouldn't he get a job in the first place? But then, his education level would be put into consideration. This is why I get the intellectual thing Chika was talking about.

Like I said, there is always the future ahead, I also said that he will need to have certain qualities, being hardworking and have potential, I don't want a lazy man. Jobs are not always easy to find let alone get, it takes time and that's something I'm sincerely willing to wait for considering these noticed qualities. I'd also like an intelligent man, a good degree does not neccesarily guarantee a job immideiately and like I said, sometimes, these things take time, something we'd need to work together towards.

chiogo:

Obviously, if he's up there intellectually, studied something that actually worths something, then he should get a job. If he has no education to begin with, then that's the problem. I don't think I'd even get to that level with someone with no higher education to begin with. So, yea the question of why he's jobless is important.

Again, I desire an intellectual man, one with a good degree, I also stated that a good degree does not neccesarily guarantee a good job immediately, it's something that one sometimes needs to work towards, and as someone who loves him, I'm willing to work together with him. I won't be marrying a guy without an education to begin with. True, the reason he is jobless is important, if it's due to circumstances, no problem, we'll 'work together' (cheesy, I know), if it's because he's too lazy, no chance son lol.

chiogo:

It just doesn't make sense trying to build a family. . .when you're jobless. And this isn't just for the guy because I personally do not plan on being a housewife so obviously, I'm not holding him to any standards I don't have myself. It's that simple.  

Don't plan to build a family until he finds a job, if you're talking about children that is, all that I've written above will probably answer this one

ibkaye:

We'll both plan out our lives as it would be really silly if we didn't, the fact that he didn't have a job when we got married does not neccesarily mean he will not find one in the future, just that we will need to work hard for it, very hard. I for one want children, he will also want children because I will not marry anyone who does not want children, I wouldn't think it wise of us to have children until we find decent jobs to support both ourselves and them with.

Personally, I feel that marriage is a step you take when you're ready to 'settle down'. A jobless man isn't ready to settle down. I already have too many years to be in school so when I'm done and get married, I expect to have children not long after the marriage. So, if he's jobless and I have to leave work for maternity leave, how is that gonna work? Even with marriage, things happen - babies come when they're least expected. So, if you're gonna take that marriage step, I think one should be fully prepared.

ibkaye:

Like I said, there is always the future ahead, I also said that he will need to have certain qualities, being hardworking and have potential, I don't want a lazy man. Jobs are not always easy to find let alone get, it takes time and that's something I'm sincerely willing to wait for considering these noticed qualities. I'd also like an intelligent man, a good degree does not neccesarily guarantee a job immideiately and like I said, sometimes, these things take time, something we'd need to work together towards.

Potential, huh? Good luck with that. I don't know why he wouldn't be able to get a job with a GOOD degree. The keyword being 'Good'. In Nigeria, of course that would make sense but not in America. Maybe the pay wouldn't be that good but a good degree would definitely get one a job.

Nothing is impossible, and like I said there are so many circumstances to consider, for instance, it could be that he did have a job but got 'let go' if you know what I mean therefore no longer has a job.

Potential potential potential

LOL.

Err, everyone has potential. . . depends on what it's for though.
I don't want potential, I want hard work.

why? because it's been written that your man's finna keep his job because he works hard?

chiogo:

LOL.

Err, everyone has potential. . . depends on what it's for though.
I don't want potential, I want hard work.

Gah, hard work is part of potential, in my books anyway, I listed hardworking as part of my criteria didn't I?

Good things come to those who wait

Will I Marry a Jobless Woman?
If she is Jobless but not Lazy, I won't even think twice.

abi

H2O2:

why? because it's been written that your man's finna keep his job because he works hard?

LOL no.  I get what Ibk said about him having a job and then losing it. But even in that scenario, he's still not ready for marriage.

I say 'hard work' for people with no qualifications whatsoever who consider potential as "thinking positively".   Umm, no, that wouldn't get you a job. If you worked hard by getting some degree whether it's difficult or not to get a job, you know you have a degree and with hard work once again by applying for jobs that match your qualifications, you'll get another. Not with potential.

ibkaye:

Gah, hard work is part of potential, in my books anyway, I listed hardworking as part of my criteria didn't I?

Good things come to those who wait

Ok, people define it differently like I mentioned above. Like "Oh, he's not very smart but he has potential"  
And I remember this saying about potential, I forgot how it goes though. But something about potential meaning you're not good but not bad either, just manageable. I don't want that.  

chiogo:

LOL no.  I get what Ibk said about him having a job and then losing it. But even in that scenario, he's still not ready for marriage.

I say 'hard work' for people with no qualifications whatsoever who consider potential as "thinking positively".   Umm, no, that wouldn't get you a job. If you worked hard by getting some degree whether it's difficult or not to get a job, you know you have a degree and with hard work once again by applying for jobs that match your qualifications, you'll get another. Not with potential.
Ok, people define it differently like I mentioned above. Like "Oh, he's not very smart but he has potential"  
And I remember this saying about potential, I forgot how it goes though. But something about potential meaning you're not good but not bad either, just manageable. I don't want that.  

Ok, when I say potential I mean there is a possibility of him getting a good job, as he is intelligent, has a good degree etc, basically that he is hardworking as compared to a unintelligent man who is lazy, little education and so forth, without an ounce of 'potential', catch my drift shnookums?

ibkaye:

Ok, when I say potential I mean there is a possibility of him getting a good job, as he is intelligent, has a good degree etc, basically that he is hardworking as compared to a unintelligent man who is lazy, little education and so forth, without an ounce of 'potential', catch my drift shnookums?

I get your point, munchkins.

I knew you would buttercup

ibkaye:

Gah, hard work is part of potential, in my books anyway, I listed hardworking as part of my criteria didn't I?

Good things come to those who wait

Old Wife's Tale.
If you wait for good things to come your way, you go wait tire
You berra get off your a$$ and chase that good thing

chic2pimp:

Old Wife's Tale.
If you wait for good things to come your way, you go wait tire
You berra get off your a$$ and chase that good thing

There's also that possiblity that I won't 'wait tire', risssssks, after all, I love him

ibkaye:

Ok, when I say potential I mean there is a possibility of him getting a good job, as he is intelligent, has a good degree etc, basically that he is hardworking as compared to a unintelligent man who is lazy, little education and so forth, without an ounce of 'potential', catch my drift shnookums?

Are you by any means refering to _doyin

LOL

chic2pimp:

Are you by any means refering to _doyin

lol no

ibkaye:

There's also that possiblity that I won't 'wait tire', risssssks, after all, I love him

Well, if you do as you say 'Love Him', you won't wait. Not even for a sec longer

chiogo:

LOL

ibkaye:

lol no

Y'all should know there are many dudes & dudettes on this forum bearing the name Doyin

Will I marry for love?  

wiil u?

chic2pimp:

Y'all should know there are many dudes & dudettes on this forum bearing the name Doyin

Oh please

chic2pimp:

Well, if you do as you say 'Love Him', you won't wait. Not even for a sec longer

Hmmph

The dudes calling ladies who responded earlier gold diggers. . .need to have their heads checked! Like Ohsisi asked would any of you wish a jobless man on your daughters? I bet No! but your wishing it upon other people's daughters. . .


Yes there's a difference between a lazy jobless man and one who's jobless but has got prospects! (he's educated,intelligent and has got the zeal)!

Its almost like saying a jobless man who isn't educated, who's got no prospects at all, makes no effort to look for a job, and is always looking for someone/something to blame for his situation rather than rising above it. . .then someone would expect me to marry this sort of man just to prove that I'm no gold digger? Well Thanks and NO thanks. . .but I'll pass!

A jobless man brings a whole lot of issues in marriage and am not ready to deal with that. . .a good example for  me is my maternal cousin who's a doctor in the US.

She meets this young man who's  uneducated but manages to make his way to the US. he was jobless and one of those immigrants that meddles in this and that to survive. . .

she falls in love. . .he proposes and she decides to marry him against the wishes of her family. . . .after marriage things were smooth for the first few months till he starts to notice oh she's got a good job. . .

it was so bad that even her pay check he would cease it. . .he keeps tabs on every single spending she does. . .he even stopped doing what ever he was meddling in to make some cash and was fully living off his wife. . .and what made it worse was he was even the one spending her paycheck lavishly. . .

what finally broke the camel's back was when she was pregnant and he beat her. . .her dad returned her bride price back to his people and the marriage was dissolved. . .a restraining order was placed on him when he started stalking!

So now some dude would tell me to marry this sort of man just to prove that love is blinded to a lot of things?  My dad first wouldn't even allow me make such mistake if I'm too blinded by love!



But its a different case if he lost his job while we were already married and is making efforts to look for a new one . .but if we aren't married and he's jobless? Heck NO! Get a job first no matter how small the pay check is and we can talk marriage!

I do not need a lazy bum for a husband cus I do not intend to be one woman who sits at home waiting for her husband's pay check! So why should I want a lazy man who sits on his backside doing nothing but waiting for my paycheck? Heck NO!

^^

thats not even uncommon

which is why i say women should be careful

have a tendency to confuse desperation with love!

what on earth will make a medical doctor fall in love with an uneducated man??

i can barely hold conversation with men in class

talkless of random illiterates!

What is love without money or let me say resources?
Don't go there.

Re:  For Love Will You Marry A Jobless, uppity, wannabe Gold-digger, witch-like Woman?

Hell No!

ThoniaSlim:

The dudes calling ladies who responded earlier gold diggers. . .need to have their heads checked! Like Ohsisi asked would any of you wish a jobless man on your daughters? I bet No! but your wishing it upon other people's daughters. . .


Yes there's a difference between a lazy jobless man and one who's jobless but has got prospects! (he's educated,intelligent and has got the zeal)!

Its almost like saying a jobless man who isn't educated, who's got no prospects at all, makes no effort to look for a job, and is always looking for someone/something to blame for his situation rather than rising above it. . .then someone would expect me to marry this sort of man just to prove that I'm no gold digger? Well Thanks and NO thanks. . .but I'll pass!

A jobless man brings a whole lot of issues in marriage and am not ready to deal with that. . .a good example for  me is my maternal cousin who's a doctor in the US.

She meets this young man who's  uneducated but manages to make his way to the US. he was jobless and one of those immigrants that meddles in this and that to survive. . .

she falls in love. . .he proposes and she decides to marry him against the wishes of her family. . . .after marriage things were smooth for the first few months till he starts to notice oh she's got a good job. . .

it was so bad that even her pay check he would cease it. . .he keeps tabs on every single spending she does. . .he even stopped doing what ever he was meddling in to make some cash and was fully living off his wife. . .and what made it worse was he was even the one spending her paycheck lavishly. . .

what finally broke the camel's back was when she was pregnant and he beat her. . .her dad returned her bride price back to his people and the marriage was dissolved. . .a restraining order was placed on him when he started stalking!

So now some dude would tell me to marry this sort of man just to prove that love is blinded to a lot of things?  My dad first wouldn't even allow me make such mistake if I'm too blinded by love!



But its a different case if he lost his job while we were already married and is making efforts to look for a new one . .but if we aren't married and he's jobless? Heck NO! Get a job first no matter how small the pay check is and we can talk marriage!

I do not need a lazy bum for a husband cus I do not intend to be one woman who sits at home waiting for her husband's pay check! So why should I want a lazy man who sits on his backside doing nothing but waiting for my paycheck? Heck NO!

Gbam!!!

It's worse especially with the egotistical ones, like the one you described. They'd be hating on their wife's success too.
Small thing they'll start using her as a punching bag. NO!!

Get a job and maybe there won't be a need to have a crushed ego.

ayettymama:

^^

thats not even uncommon

which is why i say women should be careful

have a tendency to confuse desperation with love!

what on earth will make a medical doctor fall in love with an uneducated man??

i can barely hold conversation with men in class

talkless of random illiterates!

what's your concept of uneducated? someone without a bachelors degree or someone without an high school degree? what if i can read and write with my primary school degree. is that good enough?

another question too, why do you find it "shameful" to marry someone that makes less than you. does that mean it's a shame oprah is dating steadman who makes less than her?

^^Uneducated applies only when the guy is black.

If the guy is white, even if he is a mechanic they don't care!