Blackfyre:


Good.

Seen the post...

All right, take care

Toks2008:
10. No matter what,always understand that the key to your marital happiness is not hinged on your hubby's faithfulness or how caring he is towards you....you are responsible for your own happiness so choose to be happy always regardless of how crazy things may look around you.

As odd and difficult as this advice may sound,it has worked for our mothers who were faced with serious marital challenges and it can also work for you.

Marriage does not guaranty happiness but you must meticulously make that decision to be happy against all odds because your true source of happiness lies inside of you.

Why's most, if not all, of your posts against the lady nah, why

KreativGenius:


You wouldn't know !

Why not make the connection first my lady and let things flow !

Damn it, relationship is an ass, getting a Japanese Dolly

She doesn't want to know. I tried.

shaybebaby:

She doesn't want to know. I tried.

Lmao. Too bad ! This is what happens when we act without due regard to our conduct, our actions leaves a trail behind, i tell fella they don't listen.Funny enough, if she's in a close network of fellas, she could see one quite differently and work things out with a Nigerian later on, with proximity that stereotype-mould in her mind can be broken.

It's quite regrettable though, but everyone has a sect they're running away from, including me !

No mediocre-dimwit deserves a sec of my time !

makydebbie:
Well, I'm always tempted. Especially on NL where you see people bully and annoy on purpose. I'm actually the last child so I no fit insult make dem beat the madness in my body.

Last child or not, it's forbidden

Well, he would. He follows me. Sorry about it.

Nothing to feel sorry bout really, just a warning to who it concerns...

shaybebaby:

I'd say smart. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..


Although there is a fine intelligent brother on here that I have sussed out and know they'd be perfect for each other but alas! That useless one she followed has ruined things that she doesn't want o know.

LOL!i think you should get one for yourself. The truth is that i believe im too real and clean to face drama but the playboys and scammers have all the patience and schemes to flow. I am trying though but i just cant understand how being friendly is an issue.

People believe i have dated many nairaland babes but it will blow your mind that i have never wooed even a female nairalander except have them as offline friends.

At my age i repeat,no time for drama..if i see a lady this moment and i relate with her,i will know if she is the type i can marry and as long as she is ready, we hit the ground running. I dont know how to make you understand my point but im just too real for drama.

makydebbie:
Go through the thread before quoting. She should be independent, she won't be be able to take any bullshit he throws at her. Many women endure because they've nothing for them.

We are saying the same thing, there are still women who are independent but find it very hard walking away from a relationship they've invested so much emotion in.

Sometimes its not always about the money.

Toks2008:


LOL!i think you should get one for yourself. The truth is that i believe im too real and clean to face drama but the playboys and scammers have all the patience and schemes to flow. I am trying though but i just cant understand how being friendly is an issue.

People believe i have dated many nairaland babes but it will blow your mind that i have never wooed even a female nairalander except have them as offline friends.

At my age i repeat,no time for drama..if i see a lady this moment and i relate with her,i will know if she is the type i can marry and as long as she is ready, we hit the ground running. I dont know how to make you understand my point but im just too real for drama.

You're not alone. I'm going through the same sh*t you're going through. I'm not letting it bother me anymore. I just hate drama, all those entangled drama and mind games, when we reach this age, it feels stupvd !

Blackfyre:


Last child or not, it's forbidden




Nothing to feel sorry bout really, just a warning to who it concerns...

Okay then.

Laveda:


We are saying the same thing, there are still women who are independent but find it very hard walking away from a relationship they've invested so much emotion in.

Sometimes its not always about the money.

Most times, it's about using your brain.

When he starts beating you, remain in the relationship because of the emotions you've invested.

KreativGenius:



You're not alone. I'm going through the same sh*t you're going through. I'm not letting it bother me anymore. I just hate drama, all those entangled drama and mind games, when we reach this age, it feels stupvd !

That is the more reason why i avoid any lady below certain age cos those ones are drama queens and those within the preferable age limit that gives too much drama i just excuse myself.

Your drama will not prevent you from possibly saying yes to the wrong guy but will most likely drive away responsible ones from you so why the freaking drama. Real responsible guys dont do drama,but the bad boys understand the game which is why they keep falling for the bad boys over and over again and they will be shouting "ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME"

I hardly have time for myself let alone a drama queen.

KreativGenius:




Lmao. Too bad ! This is what happens when we act without due regard to our conduct, our actions leaves a trail behind, i tell fella they don't listen.Funny enough, if she's in a close network of fellas, she could see one quite differently and work things out with a Nigerian later on, with proximity that stereotype-mould in her mind can be broken.

It's quite regrettable though, but everyone has a sect they're running away from, including me !

No mediocre-dimwit deserves a sec of my time !

Well experience is the best teacher. Sometimes things aren't always the way they seem from afar.

shaybebaby:

Well experience is the best teacher. Sometimes things aren't always the way they seem from afar.

Strong like Vodka !

Toks2008:


That is the more reason why i avoid any lady below certain age cos those ones are drama queens and those within the preferable age limit that gives too much drama i just excuse myself.

Your drama will not prevent you from possibly saying yes to the wrong guy but will most likely drive away responsible ones from you so why the freaking drama. Real responsible guys dont do drama,but the bad boys understand the game which is why they keep falling for the bad boys over and over again and they will be shouting "ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME"

I hardly have time for myself let alone a drama queen.

Bro without the drama,we may come off been suspected. What do we do?

I used to be dramatic, but that was 10 years ago. Thesedays, i just feel it's time to cut the crap, there's these fatigue that comes with age when it comes to drama.It feels like smooth wine swirling in a clean glass cup. You just want to control time and take things a step at a time !


Lessons from my past failures hints i may need to learn some drama otherwise OYO !


With age comes smoothness, there's a refining that comes with ageing. I've lost count of married woman that look at me in my environs and just say, you like things so easy. Just like how Zidane back in his prime made things easy, yet classy. The classiness as we age is simplicity. Damn, i hate drama and complexities

Toks2008:


LOL!i think you should get one for yourself. The truth is that i believe im too real and clean to face drama but the playboys and scammers have all the patience and schemes to flow. I am trying though but i just cant understand how being friendly is an issue.

People believe i have dated many nairaland babes but it will blow your mind that i have never wooed even a female nairalander except have them as offline friends.

At my age i repeat,no time for drama..if i see a lady this moment and i relate with her,i will know if she is the type i can marry and as long as she is ready, we hit the ground running. I dont know how to make you understand my point but im just too real for drama.

Well he wasn't a playboy, he just needed to get his mentality to the 21st century.

Get myself a naij boyfriend? No thanks, we all have our tastes so let's just celebrate our diversities.

You keep going on about drama and keeping friends off nl. A lot of people do, romance, friendship, business. Drama will find you if you are the dramatic type. And you sir, the shoe fits.

shaybebaby:

Well he wasn't a playboy, he just needed to get his mentality to the 21st century.

Get myself a naij boyfriend? No thanks, we all have our tastes so let's just celebrate our diversities.

You keep going on about drama and keeping friends off nl. A lot of people do, romance, friendship, business. Drama will find you if you are the dramatic type. And you sir, the shoe fits.

Sounds like a pep talk from mum ! I need a sec to laff please.

KreativGenius:



Strong like Vodka !

You guys fail to realise that this mentality is the reason why a lot of black gals are switching off you folks, atleast here in the west.

Unlike you naij menfolk, our women do not have a tag here in the west.

KreativGenius:



Bro without the drama,we may come off been suspected. What do we do?

I used to be dramatic, but that was 10 years ago. Thesedays, i just feel it's time to cut the crap, there's these fatigue that comes with age when it comes to drama.It feels like smooth wine swirling in a clean glass cup. You just want to control time and take things a step at a time !


Lessons from my past failures hints i may need to learn some drama otherwise OYO !


With age comes smoothness, there's a refining that comes with ageing. I've lost count of married woman that look at me in my environs and just say, you like things so easy. Just like how Zidane back in his prime made things easy, yet classy. The classiness as we age is simplicity. Damn, i hate drama and complexities

Smart ladies dont do drama because hey know the mindset of the good guys which is why you see bad ladies with good guys.

makydebbie:
Most times, it's about using your brain.

When he starts beating you, remain in the relationship because of the emotions you've invested.

Cheating not domestic violence madam.

shaybebaby:

You guys fail to realise that this mentality is the reason why a lot of black gals are switching off you folks, atleast here in the west.

Unlike you naij menfolk, our women do not have a tag here in the west.

I ant in any clique o !

I'm actually very easy when it comes with loving ! The Western Style Sad news is, it doesn't work here cause it looks too free, no friction !

Trust me, i rather die than entertain drama ! I need space in my head for work and not entertain drama !

Laveda:


Cheating not domestic violence madam.

I'm now talking based on "investing emotions". How can I stay with a cheating partner because of emotions I've invested?
Especially, when he's unrepentant about it and it thinks being a cheat is in his DNA. You think you're doing him? You'll just remain a bitter woman who's banking on her invested emotions.

Toks2008:


Smart ladies dont do drama because hey know the mindset of the good guys which is why you see bad ladies with good guys.

Bro it's easy to say ! If we don't apply some drama while dating, we come off as "unreal ",cause we're driving against the traffic. The norm is drama and complexities. So coming off differently makes us look weird, spooky and suspicious to say the least. Trust me i've tried a few times being too clean, it was a turn off !


As for me, i've given up. Going back to the academia ! Perhaps we should get busy with our lives and keep our focus off the clock abit

shaybebaby:

You guys fail to realise that this mentality is the reason why a lot of black gals are switching off you folks, atleast here in the west.

Unlike you naij menfolk, our women do not have a tag here in the west.

And the question i ask is this; how has the switching off helped them wade off bad guys? Does switching guaranty that they will eventually say yes to a good guy?

And ladies will always castigate me for my threads...i once wrote a thread about due diligence as a formidable way to know the person in your life but they would rather prefer the flimsy facade called courtship.

If the right questions are asked and serious due diligence is done, a lady or guy will have a clue of the type of person in his or her life.

Imagine at my age telling a lady i dont have a wife or a child and some will just believe without asking some intelligent questions all in the name of initial gragra.

The truth is that many heartbreaks are avoidable if we do the right thing.

BTW im still expecting your contact details...(Still up to you but just a reminder) *im learning to understand our black sisters here*

makydebbie:
I'm now talking based on "investing emotions". How can I stay with a cheating partner because of emotions I've invested?
Especially, when he's unrepentant about it and it thinks being a cheat is in his DNA. You think you're doing him? You'll just remain a bitter woman who's banking on her invested emotions.

Well, shit happens.. While you can just walk away, some can't.

shaybebaby:

Well he wasn't a playboy, he just needed to get his mentality to the 21st century.

Get myself a naij boyfriend? No thanks, we all have our tastes so let's just celebrate our diversities.

You keep going on about drama and keeping friends off nl. A lot of people do, romance, friendship, business. Drama will find you if you are the dramatic type. And you sir, the shoe fits.

Sorry i dont talk boyfriends and girlfriends anymore..i mean a hubby. YES yes i know many western ladies dont care about hubbies so they go on and on keeping boyfriends but a time will always come when we will see the need for that.

Laveda:


Well, shit happens.. While you can just walk away, some can't.

Lol, okay then.

Toks2008:


And the question i ask is this; how has the switching off helped them wade off bad guys? Does switching guaranty that they will eventually say yes to a good guy?

And ladies will always castigate me for my threads...i once wrote a thread about due diligence as a formidable way to know the person in your life but they would rather prefer the flimsy facade called courtship.

If the right questions are asked and serious due diligence is done, a lady or guy will have a clue of the type of person in his or her life.

Imagine at my age telling a lady i dont have a wife or a child and some will just believe without asking some intelligent questions all in the name of initial gragra.

The truth is that many heartbreaks are avoidable if we do the right thing.

BTW im still expecting your contact details...(Still up to you but just a reminder) *im learning to understand our black sisters here*

I thought i was the only one dealing with this crisis. Bravo ! I aint alone

Toks2008:


And the question i ask is this; how has the switching off helped them wade off bad guys? Does switching guaranty that they will eventually say yes to a good guy?

And ladies will always castigate me for my threads...i once wrote a thread about due diligence as a formidable way to know the person in your life but they would rather prefer the flimsy facade called courtship.

If the right questions are asked and serious due diligence is done, a lady or guy will have a clue of the type of person in his or her life.

Imagine at my age telling a lady i dont have a wife or a child and some will just believe without asking some intelligent questions all in the name of initial gragra.

The truth is that many heartbreaks are avoidable if we do the right thing.

BTW im still expecting your contact details...(Still up to you but just a reminder) *im learning to understand our black sisters here*

Nope there are no guarantees in life. Risk cannot be eliminated but it can be minimised so in some cases, switching off is the response to achieve that.

Courtship/dating is a way of trying before you buy. A way of getting to know if you can stand someone in the longer term. You get to experience togetherness and see if it's something you want to keep or pass up on.

I don't know how you conduct your due diligence but for me, a person's values speaks a lot about them. Their perceptions of life and how they interact with others.

You for instance, your beliefs about marriage is something that is shared widely by african men. Because such is intolerable to me, I look to date from societies where people do not hold such beliefs. There are still cheats but because no one justifies it, chances are much lower for the naij mentality to survive there. People even lose careers because such acts speak of a lack of integrity.

Sure I can pass along my details but I'm not sure I'm representative of our sisters.

Toks2008:


Sorry i dont talk boyfriends and girlfriends anymore..i mean a hubby. YES yes i know many western ladies dont care about hubbies so they go on and on keeping boyfriends but a time will always come when we will see the need for that.

Okay, but you have a long wait ahead of you. Unlike naij, people find love at all ages here so no pressures to get hitched if they don't feel like itm

XYZo:


The part of u I like is ur nose. Let me kiss ur nose yummy

Oniranu

shaybebaby:

Nope there are no guarantees in life. Risk cannot be eliminated but it can be minimised so in some cases, switching off is the response to achieve that.

Courtship/dating is a way of trying before you buy. A way of getting to know if you can stand someone in the longer term. You get to experience togetherness and see if it's something you want to keep or pass up on.

I don't know how you conduct your due diligence but for me, a person's values speaks a lot about them. Their perceptions of life and how they interact with others.

You for instance, your beliefs about marriage is something that is shared widely by african men. Because such is intolerable to me, I look to date from societies where people do not hold such beliefs. There are still cheats but because no one justifies it, chances are much lower for the naij mentality to survive there. People even lose careers because such acts speak of a lack of integrity.

Sure I can pass along my details but I'm not sure I'm representative of our sisters.

I sure understand you perfectly but from your angle,switching off means observing first while getting to know the person but from what I can observe, switching off means not communicating or interacting at all which I believe will not even give room to observing the person.

If I ask for your number and you don't give me,that is not switching off but total circuit cut. If you give me your number and I send you a message,you read it and you reply days latter even when the response was vital to me it's not switching off but immaturity.

But when you maintain friendship in a healthy way,you can still switch off your emotions while maintaining aquainternship...that I support but when you are not friendly at allll then that is strange.

The latter is what I observe from our sisters.

Toks2008:


I sure understand you perfectly but from your angle,switching off means observing first while getting to know the person but from what I can observe, switching off means not communicating or interacting at all which I believe will not even give room to observing the person.

If I ask for your number and you don't give me,that is not switching off but total circuit cut. If you give me your number and I send you a message,you read it and you reply days latter even when the response was vital to me it's not switching off but immaturity.

But when you maintain friendship in a healthy way,you can still switch off your emotions while maintaining aquainternship...that I support but when you are not friendly at allll then that is strange.

The latter is what I observe from our sisters.

Probably because from previous experience, they deem it better to not engage in the first instance. You know the yoruba adage, if you know you are not going to eat something, don't bother with even sniffing it.