KreativGenius:




I said this to you earlier,and i'mma repeat it again. A lady came to my domain recently, and i looked at her and i chuckled.

She's been married ten years now. Not asingle day of her been beating or the assualtsother ladies get, guess what, including myself, and at least ten folks, we are felt it was a no-brainer. They both had just 40-45% compatibility. She and her husband are constantly around me so i'm privy to inner details in her relationship to some extent.

Guess what makes the relationship still up-standing till today?

The point you raised in number nine. Forgive, tohave a good marriage, compatibility or notcompatibility, forgiveness ranks higher, and for hearts that holds plenty of it, along side with patience, nothing can rock such a boat, becase it's not built on the pedestal of i can't be wrong, but rather, i'm willing tolet go, look away, turn the side, turn a new leaf, start afresh, press on, continue, challenge, turn the other direction, tweak it a bit, make moderations, in order to achieve an expected objective, which is a successful marriage !


The opposite of such forgiveness is self centerdness, self preservation, self love, self obsession, self ideologies all in the bid to psychologically have the upper hand at such times, whereas in marriage both parties shoul be intertwined and become a single being.


May God give us wisdom, a heart that understands, a mind that takes heed, and a heart that is flooded with the light of the truth. When the heart is flooded with the truth, it swallows up lies, soif seeds of lies germinates in our hearts, its because we have vile in our heart and all the requirements for it to flourish, the battle is half won in our hears. We should read books like Battle field of the mind by JoyceMeyer

@emboldened, you said it all. Many of them need to go work on themselves even before they start kissing not to talk of opening legs. This concerns both men and women. Not the stupid modern ideology being bandied around nowadays.

Else they shall continue to remain empty and be filled with disappointments than fulfillment.

KreativGenius:



I've read through twice, what's the problem with the thread please?


You could win a disciple and open my eyes to something new this morning !

Oh never mind. Don't have the strength this morning.

Baba I gbadun this one o

Our ladies don't actually know that we men don't waste time in knowing what we want. I tell u. When a man toasts a woman, he already knows, if this is what he wants for marriage or play play. But our women can so pike courtship ehn... As for me, it doesn't take me a week to decipher a lady through and through. Once I approach a lady for a date, it simply means I want to end up with her because I don't date ladies I can't end up with. That's why for about 10 years. I didn't date any lady but I was only pumping valves with no deceit.



I think the earlier our guys understand that u can pump so many valves without dating any lady, the better it will be for the ladies

And for our ladies, they need to use their head like u have rightly said and not use their emotions

Ladies Nowadays should stick with a guy that wants them and cherish them so much and not that guy with broad chest, thick arms, black and very tall that will hit them with those arms at the slightest provocation.


Real ladies now understands that it ain't all about fine boy or very rich... It's about his attitude to u, about his sincerity and they need to understand this


No matter how much a man loves u. Don't want mean he can't eye another lady, he will respect u do much but give him his space , don't choke him up and see how much he will regard u. Don't be too snoopy, looking for xzibits on his phone. Just free ur guy and love him, watch him love u in return.


Research has shown that the percentage of divorce in first marriage is 50% , second marriage is 65+% , third marriage is over 80% . So why not calm down and make yourself happy but be wise

But the part I disagree with you is, when a man becomes violent to his wife, my bro, I'm not saying divorce him o, but leave that environment for your dare life. If you have been a good woman to him. Trust me he will come pleading n begging. No, don't just accept yet, let him moil and toil a bit, to get u back to the house, and mind u. At the first attempt he tries that to u. Take it up against him, if he tries it and u don't react like this, he might increase the tempo some other time. No matter what, a man should never hit u. But stay on ur lane too, by not running your mouth insulting him as u like. Men hate that. Even if he is wrong , men love respect from their wives.

Toks2008:


[b]Many ladies have been sampled and dumped in the name of courtship.

You meet a guy and [/b]you start screwing each other in the name of courtship and after he has gotten his fill he will give you one funny story then you move to the next guy and the cycle repeats itself.

Many courtship be temporary marriage cos you do what married people do and since no commitment yet,it's very easy to opt out.

Blackfyre:


@emboldened, you said it all. Many of them need to go work on themselves even before they start kissing not to talk of opening legs. This concerns both men and women. Not the stupid modern ideology being bandied around nowadays.

Else they shall continue to remain empty and be filled with disappointments than fulfillment.

Tushe !



We all need to work on ourselves continually. There's need for lots of talks before kissing, as for me, no kissing until detailed heart-to-heart discussion is held on so many life issues ! Damn it, if only folks could read your comment !

Joy1706:

Hahahaha na true na

I know, love the way you cut through the bs

KreativGenius:




I wish i could give more women hope, but i've seen too many sick marriages and would rather pass. Many young men of the new generation think differently sha. To a large extent about 90% of the guys i've rolled with in my life time. Ladies should find good men, and let's leave all the arguments behind, a good guy is a good guy !

And men should take the bad ones amongst them to task.

XYZo:
Baba I gbadun this one o

Our ladies don't actually know that we men don't waste time in knowing what we want. I tell u. When a man toasts a woman, he already knows, if this is what he wants for marriage or play play. But our women can so pike courtship ehn... As for me, it doesn't take me a week to decipher a lady through and through. Once I approach a lady for a date, it simply means I want to end up with her because I don't date ladies I can't end up with. That's why for about 10 years. I didn't date any lady but I was only pumping valves with no deceit.



I think the earlier our guys understand that u can pump so many valves without dating any lady, the better it will be for the ladies

And for our ladies, they need to use their head like u have rightly said and not use their emotions

Ladies Nowadays should stick with a guy that wants them and cherish them so much and not that guy with broad chest, thick arms, black and very tall that will hit them with those arms at the slightest provocation.


Real ladies now understands that it ain't all about fine boy or very rich... It's about his attitude to u, about his sincerity and they need to understand this


No matter how much a man loves u. Don't want mean he can't eye another lady, he will respect u do much but give him his space , don't choke him up and see how much he will regard u. Don't be too snoopy, looking for xzibits on his phone. Just free ur guy and love him, watch him love u in return.


Research has shown that the percentage of divorce in first marriage is 50% , second marriage is 65+% , third marriage is over 80% . So why not calm down and make yourself happy but be wise

But the part I disagree with you is, when a man becomes violent to his wife, my bro, I'm not saying divorce him o, but leave that environment for your dare life. If you have been a good woman to him. Trust me he will come pleading n begging. No, don't just accept yet, let him moil and toil a bit, to get u back to the house, and mind u. At the first attempt he tries that to u. Take it up against him, if he tries it and u don't react like this, he might increase the tempo some other time. No matter what, a man should never hit u. But stay on ur lane too, by not running your mouth insulting him as u like. Men hate that. Even if he is wrong , men love respect from their wives.

@


No matter how much a man loves u. Don't want mean he can't eye another lady, he will respect u do much but give him his space , don't choke him up and see how much he will regard u. Don't be too snoopy, looking for xzibits on his phone. Just free ur guy and love him, watch him love u in return.


Research has shown that the percentage of divorce in first marriage is 50% , second marriage is 65+% , third marriage is over 80% . So why not calm down and make yourself happy but be wise



What have i been saying all day! Thanks for lending a voice. A violent man is a fool !

shaybebaby:

And men should take the bad ones amongst them to task.

Take the bad men to the task? Are we jobless? My mum taught me day in day out for over 15 years.Want good men, how about we train up good sons? Why should it be a man's responsibility to engage his mate?

are right we should. But let me tell u the truth, u women can't cope with cheating, especially, if it's never in your blood. U can't cope with cheating without using your emotions, meanwhile


Men can sleep with hundreds of women without loving it even liking a single 1 .

Now who's free at the end. Ur attention and love is divided to all the men you are cheating with on ur husband. Your children will suffer the emotional imbalance as well. U can't cope with it, trust me.

Benita27:
Men should also keep an open mind and expect their wives to cheat. If she doesn't, congrats. No be only for una DNA cheating dey. This way, the equation is balanced.

My fellow Nairalanders

I have a dream

That one day I will log on to Nairaland and men will no longer defend their cheating lifestyles but inspire their sons to stay faithful.
That women will no longer be punching bags for men who lack the maturity to carry out heated conversations

That love will truly bare all but not be so selfish as not to regard the downsides of cheating.

That men above 40 will settle down amicably and appreciate the women who stood by them asking them for nothing but respect.

O I have a dream

KreativGenius:



Tushe !



We all need to work on ourselves continually. There's need for lots of talks before kissing, as for me, no kissing until detailed heart-to-heart discussion is held on so many life issues ! Damn it, if only folks could read your comment !

Gbam! Me no dey waste time on such things.

Proudgorgeousga:


bullet is too obvious, poison the food gradually no one will suspect

And poison ur next husband as well, till the chain continues

solasoulmusic:
My fellow Nairalanders

I have a dream

That one day I will log on to Nairaland and men will no longer defend their cheating lifestyles but inspire their sons to stay faithful.
That women will no longer be punching bags for men who lack the maturity to carry out heated conversations

That love will truly bare all but not be so selfish as not to regard the downsides of cheating.

That men above 40 will settle down amicably and appreciate the women who stood by them asking them for nothing but respect.

O I have a dream

Funny how this your dream entails just the men. Remember to also dream that those heated conversations will not carry verbal insults too. It's rare to come across women who have such traits.

Blackfyre:


Funny how this your dream entails just the men. Remember to also dream that those heated conversations will not carry verbal insults too. It's rare to come across women who have such traits.

Most times, you guys trigger it.


Are you the op of that yesterday thread?

Benita27:
That's what they want us to believe. That he payed your bride price means he could condescend that low while your job is to cover his mess or even plead with him to use condom next time. While the woman is at home building the home, the man is outside sabotaging it, and they see nothing wrong in that 'cause he has a dick.

I can't believe that's someone's reason for cheating. So people still have this sordid mentality?
Then the cycle continues, they teach our sons to cheat and disrespect women. That's why I keep telling ladies to become independent.

makydebbie:
Most times, you guys trigger it.


Are you the op of that yesterday thread?

So even if I did not insult you,but point somethings out to you without being insulting, it then means I should be verbally abused?

Since you claim they triggered it, can the men also claim them whopping their ass was triggered by the abuse ba?


May I die a leper if I was the one behind that moniker. I am hoping that insecure fool won't falsely accuse me without proof next time.

makydebbie:
I can't believe that's someone's reason for cheating. So people still have this sordid mentality?
Then the cycle continues, they teach our sons to cheat and disrespect women. That's why I keep telling ladies to become independent.

Will being independent stop men from cheating? You'd still need these men.

All we should be saying is women should know where to draw the line when they find out their man is a cheat.

XYZo:

And poison ur next husband as well, till the chain continues

I won't need a next husband. widows hardly see the need to remarry

Proudgorgeousga:


I won't need a next husband. widows hardly see the need to remarry

Oh good then

XYZo:



No matter how much a man loves u. Don't want mean he can't eye another lady, he will respect u do much but give him his space , don't choke him up and see how much he will regard u. Don't be too snoopy, looking for xzibits on his phone. Just free ur guy and love him, watch him love u in return.


Research has shown that the percentage of divorce in first marriage is 50% , second marriage is 65+% , third marriage is over 80% . So why not calm down and make yourself happy but be wise

But the part I disagree with you is, when a man becomes violent to his wife, my bro, I'm not saying divorce him o, but leave that environment for your dare life. If you have been a good woman to him. Trust me he will come pleading n begging. No, don't just accept yet, let him moil and toil a bit, to get u back to the house, and mind u. At the first attempt he tries that to u. Take it up against him, if he tries it and u don't react like this, he might increase the tempo some other time. No matter what, a man should never hit u. But stay on ur lane too, by not running your mouth insulting him as u like. Men hate that. Even if he is wrong , men love respect from their wives.

The truth is that domestic violence is the new excuse in town but then it can be curbed in a timely manner which was why i mentioned about reporting him or her(Some ladies are tigress)to the authorities and h/she must calm down rather than absorb the poo until you lose your life.

As for me i dont regard myself as a divorcee because i was not really completely married lol!

solasoulmusic:
My fellow Nairalanders

I have a dream

That one day I will log on to Nairaland and men will no longer defend their cheating lifestyles but inspire their sons to stay faithful.
That women will no longer be punching bags for men who lack the maturity to carry out heated conversations

That love will truly bare all but not be so selfish as not to regard the downsides of cheating.

That men above 40 will settle down amicably and appreciate the women who stood by them asking them for nothing but respect.

O I have a dream

Martina Luther King.

Yewandequeen:

Smiles, you are wrong.

I supported the write up cos it's appears many bail out on their marriages at the slightest sign of misunderstanding or lil problem. And all I see to Op point is for people to stay in marriage and make it work and no one is perfect. He observed the current happenings in marriages, pointed them out and how you can solve them without leaving your marriage.
I don't support cheating and I don't pray to find myself in one but then should such happen the spouse has to be realistic n deal with it properly. You expect the wife to pack out? cheat too? Or wat...... No no. Two wrongs can't make a right.

Someone doing bad knows he is doing bad, but when you don't reciprocate with bad they tend to change their ways naturally without being forced to.


As my pastor will say God hate divorce. Stay in your marriage and try every to make ur work, see your pastor, counselor etc.

The truth is no one is perfect we all, we all are trying to be. For example, you court someone for 5yrs believing you already know each other and within the blink of an eye you hear head impregnated someone, or the girl got pregnant for another, or either of of them just says he/she is tired of the relationship or at the slightest provocation one stabs the other to death.

See its only God that can help one, there is no logical or mathematical reasoning to marriage. The institution is a black market, we just need to be be at peace with ourselves before we can go transfer it to our spouse.

If you see my opinion as a shame, it's fine. It is a free world and we all are entitled to our own opinions.

My dear I've been married a long time. I've been through ups and downs with my husband. The only thing that kept us going is the commitment of TWO PEOPLE who resolved that no matter what we will remain together.
TWO PEOPLE not just one.
If the intention of the op was to make married people stay married he would address both parties...

That's not his intention! He's a misogynist. Every post of his puts women down in one way or another. If this his idea of been married is true I'd advise all lady including my daughters to remain single, theres a certain quality of life that should not be lowered for any reason. Cos its just misrable his depiction.
But I know better! Thank God! I have a great marriage. It's a beautiful amazing thing. My husband will come before my kids any day. That's how confident I am in marriage.

So my dear in essence what I'm saying is toks has ill motives towards women.
The guy needs help. I'm very sure he has some underling issues with a female figure in his life growing up that seriously needs to be addressed.

Lastly let me say this. I thank God for education!
Watch as most women and even men who aspire to be good husband's disagree with toks.
WE KNOW BETTER NOW.

Toks2008:


You just ranted cos all the pooh pooh you wrote has no bearing with my write up.

This is how you guys read upside down and start writing pooh.

What I wrote up their is clear..IF SHE FINDS HERSELF WITH A CHEATING HUSBAND...IF...IF simple English.

Go back and read the thread again and give a reasonable input.Puma

If everybody abandoned their cheating partners for their children, what happen next?

If your write up is all about building marriage, then, it ll be ok to advise couples to work things out than asking the other one to abandon the other.

It usually backfire at old age for women who focused on their children at the expense of their father. Women enjoy the rest of their lives more when they are with their husbands whom they build relationships with.

The advice should be if your husband is cheating, put him prayers and ensure you are putting your best. One day, he ll get tired of that life and return to his wife. It amazes me how closed minded people don’t ask mothers to abandon their children who go astray but ll easily advise a woman to abandon the father of her childen and her husband.

This advice has destroyed a lot homes.

If your husbands go astray, trust me, the world out there ll send him back to you when he realise that God has blessed him with a gift as a wife.

A man ll only refused to return home if the wife is a trouble maker.

teemy:

As they say, ,"two wrongs don't make a right" and so two hot headed fellows would just turn the whole house to a boiler room. I also told her "If you change the way you look at a thing, with time that thing you look at begins to change". Once the hubby begins to see her as his abode of peace, and not one of quarrel, he would begin to reconsider his wanting too hang out with the boys and with time have him eating from the palm of her hand. It is marriage, not prison and trying to force the other sometimes gets the opposite result. Everyone has a mumu button, Delilah found Samson's.

Ok pls when it wife acts up remember to be an abode of peace o
Let's be honest and realistic. If u want a marriage to work advise both parties to behave!
Not keeping a blind eye to the man's action and then giving advise on what the woman's reaction should or should not be.
This is not a child and parent relationship. Both parties in a marriage are adults and should be able to predict the consequences of their actions!

Nice one egbon Toks

Na wa, too much intelligence, this generation sha !

The gender-biased language.

But people are quick to carry the hatchet sha !

Back in the days, whenever it comes to counseling on marriages, they say, woo, omo binrin, meaning woman. In nurturing the home, there was a general perception that steering of the ship has a lot to do with the unofficial captain of daily running of the home ( the woman ). Thus, whey the article may contain languages that pitches one gender against the other. It contains nuggets of truth. Rule, do not hastily use a microscopic view to look for "ish ", rather when we read, we should look out for the truth, and we will be fine.


oP, listen to the ladies, use more of " couples ", but who knows without the controversy in your writing style, would this thread have garnered much views?

tosyne2much:
Nice one egbon Toks

Aburo to sure ju..bawoni?

Toks2008:

Aburo to sure ju..bawoni?

Mo gentle egbon mi... How Yankee how?

Joy1706:

Seriously tho. We let these men get away with so much rubbish. I believe in giving people a taste of their own bitter medicine. I can't be faithful to an unfaithful man o. Lai lai

Yea, we really do.

A gal will just be enjoying her singlehood with all happiness, before you know it, one man will now come and carry you to alter, and beg you to be shagging only his dyck, and he will also promise to be shagging only you oo. All this promises are before People and God ooo.

Tomorrow he will break his promise and expect you to keep yours. Is it not selfishness of the highest order?

Incase if they dont know.., the same way men feels tired of one punny and want to explore.., is the same way ladies feel tired of one dyck and wants to explore too.

Nobody has the monopoly of cheating. period..!!

We are all humans and the men should not forget that.

KreativGenius:



oP, listen to the ladies, use more of " couples ", but who knows without the controversy in your writing style, would this thread have garnered much views?

I have threads on that but trust them..when they read that one they will not comment but just smile to themselves but when they read the hard ones,they will start forming e-tigress and i so much enjoy their reaction..I have told them that if i woo them they should run but that wont stop me from helping their ministry by dishing out home made truth...

Will they hear? They re one hell of a fish brain.