tolutara:

^^^^^^^^^^^

Funny Enough, My honey said "it quite refreshing to find a woman who was able to say exactly how she felt"

Yes, It was scary, Yes he is extremely handsome and it was quite intimidating to reach for someone not knowing if you would be turned down, however, I did not care. It was a risk that paid off. It could easily have gone the other way.

Would I do it again, Absolutely, BTW, I also paid for the food. He could afford it but I wanted him to know I liked him and I am different from all the other women he was used to.

The experience made me understand the serious emotional and physical work it requires for our men to ask us out. I bow for Una men, it isn't easy at all.

Thank you jare. .u b correct woman. .u get younger sister?

kokoye:

The girl is still in college but i'm sure she will make a fine wife someday.

How 'bout u hook a brotha up?

I am getting a little weary of continuing this discussion as some of you guys have taken it to a whole new level. This topic was meant as a discussion and not a complaint, Relax folks dont be so up tight!A few folks have giving some valid points but a lot of what is being said is ignorance!!

At the end of the day I don't look at a man for what he has. All I have asked for is the basics and that is where the men are falling short these days. Honesty, most lie with out a conscious these days. With no regard!! Find me an honest man and we can start there! Education I got that, own money have that also, place to live I got that as well, car don't care what kind you drive either as I have my own!! Just be honest and that is a rare thing these days dating in 2010!! One questioned if I am a quality woman, maybe I am or maybe I am not. That is for another to judge as I never boast myself unless one is merely intimidated by mere facts of myself!! Saying that quality individuals naturally attract quality individuals is a lie!!! Ask me how I know?? Give me the hardworking, Nigerian man with family values, God fearing,truly single and honest and I will work with him! Until, then most of you are doing nothing but talking!!

Tosinville:

Besides i would like to see d pic of dis shawdie who's lookin 4 a quality nigerian dude, jus wonderin maybe she's quality herself not only by outward appearance cos d obese ones(phatty) in america r d ones dat always look 4 wat they can't get. . . . Tell her now to drop her facebook email to search 4 her, she won't be proud to do so cos she knows herself dat she aint quality.

I know you aren't referring to me a grown woman as shawdie?? Boy please!! Nothing else to say to you! Drop my facebook-----yeah I wont be proud to do so because I have a personal life to uphold and it will not center around trying to prove young boys like your self wrong on this site, Whether I am quality or not! Grow up- and then come back and talk to me in a few years!!

alexmark:

first ask yourself are you among the one you asking for or you among the one you lookin for.

I only ask for what I come to the table with!

SA Lady:

Guys I just came in here to represent the 9ja boys I know. They are good guys and they know what they want. One among the village crew I know is battling with traditional/cultural issues that prevent him from marrying outside his tribe. We all dont know if we should believe this but I got into a conversation with one of his cousins in Australia and she confirmed it. Unfortunately he is being labelled a playa. Sometimes I think he is just being a typical guy moving from one girl to the next until he can find what he wants. Everybody is entitled to being with th eone he wants. He is in a relationship and cares for his girlfreind however its risky for the girl as this guy may have to make her a second wife when he dicides to marry. The situation is actually very funny because he is delibarately delaying the marriage thing to avoid cultural issues and requirements.

The other guy married to an SA girl with two kids (part of the village crew). A good man I've never seen a woman being so spoiled by a man like this girl. A happy and young couple.

My cousing is getting married this coming December (this is now an educated 9ger crew), a good man. One kid together and been in the relationship for somemtime before they could decide to get married.

A number of them who are friends of friends, I see them at Sunday get together's with their children mothered by SA women. Some of them have no intentions of marrying these girls, however they play their fatherly roles very well and are there for the baby mama's when needed.

I guess in the end according to me boys will be boys. It doesnt matter where they hail from. They wont stop until they find what they think is miss right.

If you are still single out there, open yourself up to whatever possibility. Dont limit yourself to 9ja boys only. ZWELIBANZI zulu word means (the world is broad)

Actually a friend of my cousin got engaged a white boy after a traumatizing breakup with an SA black guy. She is that kind of girl who would never pass a second look to white male for anything and generally cant stand white folks, but next year she'll be one of them. Again the world is broad, you never know whats going to happen.

At least you posted in a respectful manner- your point is taken! Thanks

kokoye:

Cool. what are you looking for: age range, height, complexion?

You need to be attracted to the person at least. not look at him like 'what the $#@%#$@

Send your email address- will send you that info off line!

Ladyjide, this is a public forum - you will have to learn to ignore some posts here and not take things too personal. take and reply to only those posts you choose to.

what's wrong with you droping ur statistics here . . nobody know who you are . . just yet.

Ladyjide:

I am getting a little weary of continuing this discussion as some of you guys have taken it to a whole new level. This topic was meant as a discussion and not a complaint, Relax folks dont be so up tight!A few folks have giving some valid points but a lot of what is being said is ignorance!!

At the end of the day I don't look at a man for what he has. All I have asked for is the basics and that is where the men are falling short these days. Honesty, most lie with out a conscious these days. With no regard!! Find me an honest man and we can start there! Education I got that, own money have that also, place to live I got that as well, car don't care what kind you drive either as I have my own!! Just be honest and that is a rare thing these days dating in 2010!! One questioned if I am a quality woman, maybe I am or maybe I am not. That is for another to judge as I never boast myself unless one is merely intimidated by mere facts of myself!! Saying that quality individuals naturally attract quality individuals is a lie!!! Ask me how I know?? Give me the hardworking, Nigerian man with family values, God fearing,truly single and honest and I will work with him! Until, then most of you are doing nothing but talking!!

Hmm babe. .you're sure your attitude is not what's driving them off?

You kinda sound like you might not have any more regard/respect for the guy as soon as he provides you with what's missing in your life - kids (or the label "Mrs" , as you feel you can fend for yourself.

Just an observation. .

oYaTo:

Hmm babe. .you're sure your attitude is not what's driving them off?

You kinda sound like you might not have any more regard/respect for the guy as soon as he provides you with what's missing in your life - kids (or the label "Mrs" , as you feel you can fend for yourself.

Just an observation. .

Perhaps that's it, my attitude, You need to take another observation if that is what you came up with brother. Because a women comes to the table with her own- she  has an attitude ? You guys can't have it both ways either !!

kokoye:

Ladyjide, this is a public forum - you will have to learn to ignore some posts here and not take things too personal. take and reply to only those posts you choose to.

what's wrong with you droping your statistics here . . nobody know who you are . . just yet.

Not taking it personal as I am woman enough to dish it out and woman enough to take it, just pure ignornace on my behalf is not cool!!

Stats- Nothing really specific or picky- just someone between the ages of 29-40 , No complexion specific, Taller than 5'ft 6 who comes from a good home who has an understanding of family values!

Specific tribe . . or you dont mind?

alright then . . send your details to kokoyemalibu@gmail.com.

send whatever you would like the person to know about you . . religion, willingness to relocate to another state. .

we'll start from there.  I'm sure you know it takes two .  . .all I can to is hook you up with a few guys (who are really really planning to settle down), maybe thru facebook and then it'll be up to you guys.

I have friends (33 and above) who are thru with school . .they cureently work and want to settle down.

When you meet a guy that is really ready to settle down, the ball is in your court, really.

goodluck

Ladyjide:

Perhaps that's it, my attitude, You need to take another observation if that is what you came up with brother. Because a women comes to the table with her own- she  has an attitude ? You guys can't have it both ways either !!
Not taking it personal as I am woman enough to dish it out and woman enough to take it, just pure ignornace on my behalf is not cool!!

See Sista,

As much as I want my future wife to bring something to the table as well (so I no go die cos of the whole burden), I wouldn't want her to carry that attitude around the house like some trophy or something, which is exactly what you're doing here, judging by the number of "I've got this, I've got that" you've been so kind bring to our attention.


@kokoye How far with the Howard University gal now. .why dont u extend the same service you're rendering to our dear sista to me as well?

^^^^ Are you in the U.S?

If not, sorry. I do not encourage long distance relationships.

Haba bros. .I think that's for the young lady to decide. .

^^^ plus you are also an unserious fellow.

@ Ladyjide I don’t have the right answer to your question (honestly nobody does) but this is the way I see things:

Fact: most men (including Nigerians) are playas. That’s undisputable. You need to show a guy that you are the woman that he’s willing to spend the rest of his life with. Sistas, you’re not doing enough in this area. Guys need to feel that the girl is not a shaje , or club girl that will disappear after a huge pay day.

Nigerian guys are playas because most girls only want to go out with men that can pay their bills, buy them some bling, bling… you get my gist.

Listen, the journey of life is not linear, but one of mountains & valleys with speed bumps to test you. A guy may have a solid career today (with nice wheels of course), before getting married and 3 years after the marriage, he’s riding “okada” Guess what? He’s family will blame the woman for his downfall due to her witchcraft. End the marriage; stick with the “quality” guy or what else?

You can find a right Nigerian man anywhere. Even your thread has generated email responses from some great guys. Follow them up; you never know. Best of luck and hope you meet the right man.

kokoye:

Specific tribe . . or you dont mind?

alright then . . send your details to kokoyemalibu@gmail.com.

send whatever you would like the person to know about you . . religion, willingness to relocate to another state. .

we'll start from there.  I'm sure you know it takes two .  . .all I can to is hook you up with a few guys (who are really really planning to settle down), maybe thru facebook and then it'll be up to you guys.

I have friends (33 and above) who are thru with school . .they cureently work and want to settle down.

When you meet a guy that is really ready to settle down, the ball is in your court, really.

goodluck

Specific tribe- I am not so picky there as well. I am Yoruba though- my email is

ATCAfricanProfessional@gmail.com

occam:

@ Ladyjide I don’t have the right answer to your question (honestly nobody does) but this is the way I see things:

Fact: most men (including Nigerians) are playas. That’s undisputable. You need to show a guy that you are the woman that he’s willing to spend the rest of his life with. Sistas, you’re not doing enough in this area. Guys need to feel that the girl is not a shaje , or club girl that will disappear after a huge pay day.

Nigerian guys are playas because most girls only want to go out with men that can pay their bills, buy them some bling, bling… you get my gist.

Listen, the journey of life is not linear, but one of mountains & valleys with speed bumps to test you. A guy may have a solid career today (with nice wheels of course), before getting married and 3 years after the marriage, he’s riding “okada” Guess what? He’s family will blame the woman for his downfall due to her witchcraft. End the marriage; stick with the “quality” guy or what else?

You can find a right Nigerian man anywhere. Even your thread has generated email responses from some great guys. Follow them up; you never know. Best of luck and hope you meet the right man.

Your response was by far the best I have received thus far. Thanks- I appreciate the honesty

kokoye:

^^^ plus you are also an unserious fellow.

Quite the contrary. .I'm quite serious if the lady is as well. If the chemistry's good, then who knows?

oYaTo:

See Sista,

As much as I want my future wife to bring something to the table as well (so I no go die cos of the whole burden), I wouldn't want her to carry that attitude around the house like some trophy or something, which is exactly what you're doing here, judging by the number of "I've got this, I've got that" you've been so kind bring to our attention.


@kokoye How far with the Howard University gal now. .why dont u extend the same service you're rendering to our dear sista to me as well?

Well I guess that is where you got it twisted- being educated and working hard for what you want- never gives any one in any relationship certified permission to have a attitude in any relationship. I was raised in a two parent household- my parents have been married 35 yrs and still counting and my mother was submissive to my father regardless of her education background. That is how I was raised, and exactly what I take in to every relationship I go in- I am a believer that a man should be allowed to be a man and is the head of the household. Please dont make assumptions with out fact !

Hey lady. .don't eat me up!

Ladyjide:

Well I guess that is where you got it twisted- being educated and working hard for what you want- never gives any one in any relationship to have a attitude in any relationship, I was raised in a two parent household- and my mother was submissive to my father regardless of her education background. That is how I was raised, and exactly what I take in to every relationship I go in- I am a beliver that a man should be allowed to be a man. Please dont make assumptions with out fact !

I only made those observations based on what you posted.

Ok, I admit I was wrong now that you've made things clear.

Wish ya the best sis. .

_{Would have considered ya, but you're a year older. .}

Give me the hardworking, Nigerian man with family values, God fearing,truly single and honest and I will work with him! Until, then most of you are doing nothing but talking!!

by god fearing, can sango and ifa worshipers apply? we fear our god well well

oYaTo:

Hey lady. .don't eat me up!

I only made those observations based on what you posted.

Ok, I admit I was wrong now that you've made things clear.

Wish ya the best sis. .

_{Would have considered ya, but you're a year older. .}

Its cool- just defending my honor!! Just dont assume something on someone before getting to know them is all i ask!

bawomolo:

by god fearing, can sango and ifa worshipers apply? we fear our god well well

follypimpi:

^ Lebron his gone,UP lakers

kai kobe has spoilt you people.

Ladyjide:

Its cool- just defending my honor!! Just dont assume something on someone before getting to know them is all i ask!

on a serious note, can someone with a different religious background from yours holla.

^^^^^ response pls.

Are you beautiful, neat, fun, intelligent, understanding and submissive?
Do you know how to love and take full care of a man?
Can you cook?
Do you have proper skills in house-care, kids raising?


are your attitudes well nurtured (or are you the type that easily hits a man at the slighest provocation?)

do you know how to LIVE WITH and cooperate fully with a man, how to respect him and his judgements?
Do you know how to love your man for WHO he is? Even if he makes silly mistakes?.,.
and understand that just like every other man on this earth, he canNOT be perfect?

Well, those are some criteria (not necessarily all) if you want a REAL nigerian man.,.

bawomolo:

kai kobe has spoilt you people.

on a serious note, can someone with a different religious background from yours holla.

I am a LAKERS HATER!!!

No-  I believe in being equally yoked in religion- a house divided in religion will be a house divided for ever!! Unless one is willing to modify their beliefs for the sake of love, Me I am personally not.

adolfe bad:

Are you beautiful, neat, fun, intelligent, understanding and submissive?
Do you know how to love and take full care of a man?
Can you cook?
Do you have proper skills in house-care, kids raising?


are your attitudes well nurtured (or are you the type that easily hits a man at the slighest provocation?)

do you know how to LIVE WITH and cooperate fully with a man, how to respect him and his judgements?
Do you know how to love your man for WHO he is? Even if he makes silly mistakes?.,.
and understand that just like every other man on this earth, he canNOT be perfect?

Well, those are some criteria (not necessarily all) if you want a REAL nigerian man.,.

YES

follypimpi:

All Hail King Kobe.

@ OP

Good things happen to those who wait,if u spot your ideal dude dont let him outta your grasp and all the best.God will give u your very own dude.

Kobe can kick rocks-

but thanks for your encouraging words , lol