jay bee:

Quality is somewhat relative.
Are you looking for Nigerian men to date or 2 settle down with?
If you are looking for the ones to date then I'm sure you shouldn't have any problems attracting them as long as you move with the right crowd, attend the right functions and above all be on the attractive side.

I don't have any issues with dating, as most women dont . NOW settling down is where the issues seem to
be. I have been out of the dating game for a while, I just ended a long term relationship . So I guess this is all new to me again!!

@op, the quality single 9ja guys are all around or not too far from u, getting hooked 4 keeps by the real quality single 9Ja girls. If none comes 4 u, or stays with u, or u just seem not able to match any to your standards, then u probably dont really fit into their own description as a quality lady or your personal standards expected of them are unreasonable based on various factors!
Afterall we keep witnessing & hearing about hundreds of our friends who are quality 9ja guys and girls in the US getting hooked up & head 4 d alter barely few months to about 2 years of searching. Me says check yourself,
Talk about IMPORTING a or someone bringing a quality guy 2 yr door, (like he never had a life before u found him). Like u said to some1 earlier; please take no offence.

Ladyjide:

I don't have any issues with dating, as most women dont . NOW settling down is where the issues seem to
be. I have been out of the dating game for a while, I just ended a long term relationship . So I guess this is all new to me again!!

Then get back into the dating game them. I'm sure you'd agree with me that u can determine quality by face value.
Be open minded and you just might never know.

@ poster

Am definately one quality nigerian man,am 29,single,quantity surveyor,based in nigeria.kindly send me a message on my email mexxy3a@yahoo.com for proper familarisation if u don't mind.

swiftycool:

@op, the quality single 9ja guys are all around or not too far from u, getting hooked 4 keeps by the real quality single 9Ja girls. If none comes 4 u, or stays with u, or u just seem not able to match any to your standards, then u probably dont really fit into their own description as a quality lady or your personal standards expected of them are unreasonable based on various factors!
Afterall we keep witnessing & hearing about hundreds of our friends who are quality 9ja guys and girls in the US getting hooked up & head 4 d alter barely few mont hs to about 2 years of searching. Me says check yourself,
Talk about IMPORTING a or someone bringing a quality guy 2 yr door, (like he never had a life before u found him). Like u said to some1 earlier; please take no offence.

I dish it out so I can take it, no offense taking! The mention of importing a man was a joke .I guess it went over your head!!

jay bee:

Then get back into the dating game them. I'm sure you'd agree with me that u can determine quality by face value.
Be open minded and you just might never know.

I am trying to get back in it ! Who knows I may be hooked tomorrow!

hahahahhaah dats the spirit. Ride on gyal, d world is your oyster

Lady Jide, where city are you in?

This is coming from a family man o. I am just trying to help cos it makes no sense at all to go import someone from another part of the world. Better to settle down with someone that's already used to the system here.

kokoye:

Lady Jide, where city are you in?

This is coming from a family man o. I am just trying to help cos it makes no sense at all to go import someone from another part of the world. Better to settle down with someone that's already used to the system here.

Guys the import thing was a joke!! A little sarcastic humor, but I am in Philadelphia! ! East coast

i have now idea, ftw[img]http://s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]

@Ladyjide, are u in NYC? if u are, I would like us to have chat.

Onyema1:

@Ladyjide, are u in NYC? if u are, I would like us to have chat.

No I am not in NYC!

Oh ic, ok where are you?

NYC is not far from philly so what do u have to offer her

Ladyjide:

Guys the import thing was a joke!! A little sarcastic humor, but I am in Philadelphia! ! East coast

Cool. what are you looking for: age range, height, complexion?

You need to be attracted to the person at least. not look at him like 'what the $#@%#$@

there are lots of nigerians in philly. i don't think you would have problem finding a naija man there.

the main question is do you have the qualities to attract the "quality" man you are looking to settle down with.  evaluate yourself then go forward. and please don't take advice from the evil feminist sisters like oyinda and michelin mouth, i'm just playing o

^^^ you were 'playingly' saying a fact.  .

I am actually trying to see what she wants first . .I know a couple of guys in that area, was actually in philly / exton a couple of days ago.

I believe a lot of the good Men are taken,

I remember 8 years ago when I asked my husband out on the first date, I had all my girlfriends laughing at me. But boy, I saw a good thing and I went for it. He is a wonderful and good man. They did not catch the vision, I did. He was not driving the best car or so I was told. 2 of those friends are still asking the same above question. Where are the good men?

Now dear hubby can have any car he wants.

So poster, Make hay while the sun shines.

^^^ good for you. You saw what you wanted and you went for it

@  Tolutara
Good for you  you recognized & decided to go after after a good man instead of just sitting on ur @$$ waiting for him to come to you.

@  Ladyjide
You have described yourself as a " quality lady " and if this holds true then "quality men" should be beating down your door but by your own admission none are coming your way, which begs the question is it possible that the qualities that you listed that make you a "quality lady" are not really "all that" in the eyes of a quality man?
Think about it for a minute  

[b]

[/quote]Well-- I am 28- am professionaly employed, live alone, am honest , hard working and not a cheat[/b]-------I want the same in my man, I fall short because I want that from a Nigerian man and not a Black American! So I remain single here!!

The above highlighted is the criteria you used to justify yourself as a "quality lady" but has it occured to you that there are hundreds maybe thousands of nigerian women in the states that fit this bill ? And that being the case why would a " quality naija man want to commit himself to you   for life and not any other woman he has met or possibly will meet ?

A NL guy made this post earlier which emphasizes what i just said.
   v v v

The 'quality' men (in your age range) you described were long hooked by the smart naija girls , they caught them real early). Most of them are engaged or married.

. Most responsible naija guys here usually have other things on their minds other than marriage, so you have to make them KNOW you are the type that is meant for keeps.[quote]

In summary , the quality men are not hiding the simple  truth is that they are simply not attracted to you
So you have two choices , keep on complaining about the lack of quality men or take a good long look at yourself & decide to make yourself a TRUE quality woman rather than [b]just calling [/b]yourself one.  

*Filani moves away from the keyboard to continue reading the book FIRE IN THE BELLY:On being a man by Prof Sam Keen *

kokoye:

I will answer your question.

The 'quality' men (in your age range) you described were long hooked by the smart naija girls 9they caught them real early). Most of them are engaged or married.

When you see a guy you are interested in, you need to be bold and make that confident but subtle move. Most responsible naija guys here usually have other things on their minds other than marriage, so you have to make them KNOW you are the type that is meant for keeps.

goodluck.

_______________________________________________________________________________

tolutara:

I believe a lot of the good Men are taken,

I remember 8 years ago when I asked my husband out on the first date, I had all my girlfriends laughing at me. But boy, I saw a good thing and I went for it. He is a wonderful and good man. They did not catch the vision, I did. He was not driving the best car or so I was told. 2 of those friends are still asking the same above question. Where are the good men?

Now dear hubby can have any car he wants.

So poster, Make hay while the sun shines.

______________________________________________________


I said it . . preach!

tolutara:

I believe a lot of the good Men are taken,

I remember 8 years ago when I asked  my husband out on the first date, I had all my girlfriends laughing at me. But boy, I saw a good thing and I went for it. He is a wonderful and good man. They did not catch the vision, I did.  He was not driving the best car or so I was told. 2 of those friends are still asking the same above question. Where are the good men?

Now dear hubby can have any car he wants.

So poster, Make hay while the sun shines.

I admire you.You are just like my fiancee.

When my fiancee took the bull by the horns and asked me out point blank for a relationship just two days after meeting for the first time in her life. Her friends thought she had totally lost it. I was a student, and i couldn't stand up to the calibre of men asking her out (financially).

Now her friends envy her. The ones who were most vocal about her making a move on me are still single,passed from one man to another while she is getting ready to go to the alter.

My advice to women will be this :-

We are in a new age. A revolutionary one. If you see a man that is good. Do not sit there and wait for him to come and meet you. There are some men you can do all the shakara in the world for; while there are some men that you must quickly for yourself once you come across them.

Guys I just came in here to represent the 9ja boys I know. They are good guys and they know what they want. One among the village crew I know is battling with traditional/cultural issues that prevent him from marrying outside his tribe. We all dont know if we should believe this but I got into a conversation with one of his cousins in Australia and she confirmed it. Unfortunately he is being labelled a playa. Sometimes I think he is just being a typical guy moving from one girl to the next until he can find what he wants. Everybody is entitled to being with th eone he wants. He is in a relationship and cares for his girlfreind however its risky for the girl as this guy may have to make her a second wife when he dicides to marry. The situation is actually very funny because he is delibarately delaying the marriage thing to avoid cultural issues and requirements.

The other guy married to an SA girl with two kids (part of the village crew). A good man I've never seen a woman being so spoiled by a man like this girl. A happy and young couple.

My cousing is getting married this coming December (this is now an educated 9ger crew), a good man. One kid together and been in the relationship for somemtime before they could decide to get married.

A number of them who are friends of friends, I see them at Sunday get together's with their children mothered by SA women. Some of them have no intentions of marrying these girls, however they play their fatherly roles very well and are there for the baby mama's when needed.

I guess in the end according to me boys will be boys. It doesnt matter where they hail from. They wont stop until they find what they think is miss right.

If you are still single out there, open yourself up to whatever possibility. Dont limit yourself to 9ja boys only. ZWELIBANZI zulu word means (the world is broad)

Actually a friend of my cousin got engaged a white boy after a traumatizing breakup with an SA black guy. She is that kind of girl who would never pass a second look to white male for anything and generally cant stand white folks, but next year she'll be one of them. Again the world is broad, you never know whats going to happen.

I am happily married to a lady who knew I was attracted to her but did not make a move because I felt there was no way she could be available. Plus we were both in grad school in the east coast and my paying my tution was really the most important thing to me at the time.  So we remained very good friends over the period  (she even hooked me up with some of her friends!).

What did the lady in question do? she calmed my fears in a feminine and subtle way and let me know she was available. Imagine this coming from someone I saw for the first time 2yrs prior and thinking 'This is exactly how I want my wife to be!".

4yrs and counting.

^^^^^^^^^^^

Funny Enough, My honey said "it quite refreshing to find a woman who was able to say exactly how she felt"

Yes, It was scary, Yes he is extremely handsome and  it was quite intimidating to reach for someone not knowing if you would be turned down, however, I did not care. It was a risk that paid off. It could easily have gone the other way.

Would I do it again, Absolutely, BTW, I also paid for the food. He could afford it but I wanted him to know I liked him and I am different from all the other women he was used to.

The experience made me understand the serious emotional and physical work it requires for our men to ask us out. I bow for Una men, it isn't easy at all.

mexxyaaron:

@ poster

Am definately one quality nigerian man,am 29,single,quantity surveyor,based in nigeria.kindly send me a message on my email mexxy3a@yahoo.com for proper familarisation if u don't mind.

@ Ladyjide

There you go, theres an offer hande to you on a plate  

tolutara:

^^^^^^^^^^^

Funny Enough, My honey said "it quite refreshing to find a woman who was able to say exactly how she felt"

Yes, It was scary, Yes he is extremely handsome and it was quite intimidating to reach for someone not knowing if you would be turned down, however, I did not care. It was a risk that paid off. It could easily have gone the other way.

Would I do it again, Absolutely, BTW, I also paid for the food. He could afford it but I wanted him to know I liked him and I am different from all the other women he was used to.

The experience made me understand the serious emotional and physical work it requires for our men to ask us out. I bow for Una men, it isn't easy at all.

A responsible amd mature man will never turn a lady down no matter what. There are much nicer ways of saying 'no'. So Tolutara, that was a pointer that you were making the right choice.

Never say 'no' to a lady . . cos she can go ahead and date your boss.

Two female friends I politely turned down are happily married to male friends I hooked them up with.

When the movie Barbershop came out, some smallie Howard University girl invited me to go see the movie. So I saw the same movie twice in one day (I'd promised to take another girl to see the same movie) and guess what, this damsel paid for the ticket!! I ended up being the bitch by offering to buy the drinks and popcorn

The girl is still in college but i'm sure she will make a fine wife someday.

Ladyjide:

No I am not in NYC!

Ok cool, well not so far, you can send me at wksi_010@yahoo.co.uk. I will like to talk to you. rgds.

Would I do it again, Absolutely, BTW, I also paid for the food. He could afford it but I wanted him to know I liked him and I am different from all the other women he was used to.

aww you must have made a big impression on him.

^^^^ Yup. How many girls do that . . even the good ones?

first ask yourself are you among the one you asking for or you among the one you lookin for.

The experience made me understand the serious emotional and physical work it requires for our men to ask us out. I bow for Una men, it isn't easy at all.

Gbam Tolutara, well said.

Besides i would like to see d pic of dis shawdie who's lookin 4 a quality nigerian dude, jus wonderin maybe she's quality herself not only by outward appearance cos d obese ones(phatty) in america r d ones dat always look 4 wat they can't get. . . . Tell her now to drop her facebook email to search 4 her, she won't be proud to do so cos she knows herself dat she aint quality.